4th of July at Elissa and Joe Maxwells

[emesbe]

I'm confident in saying that no man would even be considered unless he had already bought a home debt free.

[Elegant Mess]

I'm confident in saying that no man would even be considered unless he had already bought a home debt free.

Preferably within a mile of the Maxwell homestead.

[Elegant Mess]

I wouldn't be surprised if that particular blurb was only up for a short time. My husband remembers my reaction, since I WTF'd out loud--not a typical reaction for me at the time. He read it as well, and we both were rather shocked that they would post her intention of eternal servitude (although I think Steve himself, possibly Teri, wrote the blurb). If later on the bio was changed to how she wants to marry, in God's timing, of course, then I just take that as them backtracking. We know Steve has no problem with changing things after receiving feedback. I wish I had a link, but as I don't I understand why there may be some doubt about what I say I saw on Sarah's bio. I will say, though, that it was that one or two sentence blurb that forever sent me down the fundie rabbit hole--I still remember how I felt after reading it, and I wasn't even the one with her foot caught in the Maxwell trap.

Indeed, you may have seen that statement and none of us saw it because it was only up briefly and/or none of us were paying attention to the bio page around that time. In the past, at least one FJ poster who has purported to be close to the Maxwells has said that Sarah did indeed want to get married and start a family of her own, so that may play into this as well.

If Sarah does want to remain unmarried, it could be that a string of prospects that didn't work out left a bad taste in her mouth, or we here at FJ are guilty of groupthink, believing that Sarah wants marriage/motherhood because that has been what she was raised to believe is the highest duty and purpose of a woman.

In any event, I agree with you that marriage for Sarah is unlikely at this point unless there is someone out there who keeps a very low profile.

[Jana814]

Preferably within a mile of the Maxwell homestead.

Agree!! I don't even think the girls would now what to do if they weren't within a mile of the homestead.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Sadly, I don't believe marriage has ever been a possibility for Sarah. The Maxwells became my gateway fundie family after stumbling across their website 7-8 years ago. At that time Sarah's blurb on their biography page stated she had decided to remain permanently at home, unmarried, to better serve her parents. I thought it an odd statement because I couldn't believe her parents would actually accept that kind of a sacrifice from a young twenty-something. I believe it now, and it makes me so incredibly sad.

Sad, but it fits. In the "Keeping Hearts" book, Sarah is the one who wrote about how she has bad memories of playing with the neighborhood children and another bad memory of something that happened at a sleepover. She has also written about driving past the local public school and feeling thankful that she never had to go there. She was also thankful that her younger brothers and sisters were sheltered from birth and never played with other children. It sounds to me like Sarah was a shy, socially awkward, possibly bullied child who felt relieved when her parents went cuckoo and socially isolated their kids. Maybe she really does want to be a SAHD forever?

[princessmahina]

Screw Steve. A normal parent would have tried to help Sarah work through her issues, rather than isolating her and encouraging her fear.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Screw Steve. A normal parent would have tried to help Sarah work through her issues, rather than isolating her and encouraging her fear.

Yeah, most parents want their kids to have friends. Most parents are concerned when their kid doesn't fit in with other kids. They try to help their kid learn how to play well with others. Even if the kid has been diagnosed with a social disability such as Asperger's, the parents will do everything they can to find a peer group where their child can make some friends.

[Sundaymorning]

Allowing his daughters to marry would also mean that Stevehova and Teri would live alone again for the first time in decades.

They probably wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Yeah, most parents want their kids to have friends. Most parents are concerned when their kid doesn't fit in with other kids. They try to help their kid learn how to play well with others. Even if the kid has been diagnosed with a social disability such as Asperger's, the parents will do everything they can to find a peer group where their child can make some friends.

Fundies do have a peer group for their children! Siblings! It's why they have so many, they can all be best friends. It totally makes the cult like isolation thing, okay. Because they have each other. Friends! Who they are related to and have the exact same ideals and the exact same level of worldly exposure. Their friends, who are also siblings, won't tease each other and will only encourage each other in every way.

[church_of_dog]

Killing 3 birds with this post...

3. Lastly, the title of the blog post is "The Red, White and Blue." Sarah explained the significance of the colors red and while, but neglected to mention anything about the color blue:

"It’s when the color red becomes white. Isaiah 1:18 puts it well: “Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.â€

Blue is for denim maxi skirts, of course! :lol:

As for marriage prospects for the girls, and in particular for Sarah, I would not be surprised if she ends up with a Buck/Hale son. I don't remember if there are any unmarried males in the right age range.

[Dru]

I wonder about Jesse's marriage prospects too now that their tours appear to be over. If I recall correctly, both Chris and Joseph met their wives through fellowshipping during conferences (and Nathan met Melanie in church back when they were less insane). John seems to have wisely started a business that lets him travel alone quite a bit. But if Jesse's future is designing websites from the safely of the Maxwell compound, I wonder where he can meet a suitable fundie maiden.

Well, Melanie has a couple of unmarried sisters... :lol:

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I would suspect there are many more fundie girls than boys. Boys are taught how to earn a living so they can support a family. They are given more freedom (generally). It's much easier for them to fly the nest. Girls are given a minimal education and taught being a wife and stay at home, homeschooling Mom is their only future. It's much harder for them to escape.

Boys choose who they want to court. Girls just have to sit and wait.

They really have the Victorian sensibilities down pat-- keep the females at home, limit their education, swathe them in cumbersome clothing, convince them that the only future is becoming a wife and a mother and instill in them a horror for lustful men. Now all they have to do is bring back the restrictive corset and limit the physical activity so that the recreation of total female suppression is complete.

[Justme]

I wonder why Nat & Mel didn't hold it (their custom). Maybe she's pregger's again...... :popcorn2: :o :pull-hair:

[Jana814]

Allowing his daughters to marry would also mean that Stevehova and Teri would live alone again for the first time in decades.

They probably wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

Haha!! So true!!

[Eternalbluepearl]

I wonder why Nat & Mel didn't hold it (their custom). Maybe she's pregger's again...... :popcorn2: :o :pull-hair:

Baby E? :think:

[SPHASH]

Baby E? :think:

Esther for a girl, Enoch for a boy.

[VodouDoll]

Their kids' names are traditional but not quite so old-fashioned. I think Elizabeth or Edward or similar would be more their style.

[Jana814]

I hope they r not having another!!

[FloraKitty35]

They really have the Victorian sensibilities down pat-- keep the females at home, limit their education, swathe them in cumbersome clothing, convince them that the only future is becoming a wife and a mother and instill in them a horror for lustful men. Now all they have to do is bring back the restrictive corset and limit the physical activity so that the recreation of total female suppression is complete.

Isn't it funny there were Victorian women with more freedom than any of the Maxwell sisters.

[usmcmom]

Allowing his daughters to marry would also mean that Stevehova and Teri would live alone again for the first time in decades.

They probably wouldn't know what to do with themselves.

My daughter is getting married in 22 days and all this talk of the Maxwell daughters' (never) getting married has me wondering. Could Teri handle the stress of being mother-of-the-bride? Would Steve even allow her and the bride to plan the wedding? Would Steve HAVE TO do the planning because Teri would be overwhelmed? Would all the Maxwell daughters have to have a green wedding? Would the wedding be ruined if Sprite were served to a Pepsi lover? I have to know these things, people!

I made a pretty detailed schedule for our plans but I have no idea how I'd schedule it all in fifteen-minute intervals :think: :think:

[sparkles]

My daughter is getting married in 22 days and all this talk of the Maxwell daughters' (never) getting married has me wondering. Could Teri handle the stress of being mother-of-the-bride? Would Steve even allow her and the bride to plan the wedding? Would Steve HAVE TO do the planning because Teri would be overwhelmed? Would all the Maxwell daughters have to have a green wedding? Would the wedding be ruined if Sprite were served to a Pepsi lover? I have to know these things, people!

I made a pretty detailed schedule for our plans but I have no idea how I'd schedule it all in fifteen-minute intervals :think: :think:

They've got it covered! Except not.

titus2.com/wedding/nathan-melanie.html

We headed to the rehearsal dinner early, but since the room was available, we could stand and visit until it was time to eat. Steve and I had gone to great efforts to make the serving of each individual meal easy. We had given the restaurant a diagram of where everyone would sit, had name cards at each seat, a typed list of each order including menu item, drink, name and a number on the order to correspond with seating.

We knew we were in trouble, though, when the waiters came out with glasses in their hands calling out, “Sprite, Sprite, Coke, Coke.†Getting the meals to each place took four waiters, the party room manager, Steve with the order list, and the maid of honor who speaks Spanish!

[Jana814]

Screw Steve. A normal parent would have tried to help Sarah work through her issues, rather than isolating her and encouraging her fear.

Agree!!

[kpmom]

They've got it covered! Except not.

titus2.com/wedding/nathan-melanie.html

I have never fully understood what the problem was here. Couldn't the wait staff have just gone up to each guest and ask what they ordered and then given it to them? I assume they had a limited menu of two or three entrees, like most parties do. And when they called out "Sprite, Sprite, Coke, Coke" couldn't the guests just raise their hand and say "Coke over here".

I also don't understand Steve's system of numbering each order in addition to name and diagram. Is it just possible Stevie complicated it just a bit? :think:

And even if it did take just a little longer to serve everybody, who cares? It's the eve of one of the happiest days of a parent's life.

I think Teri was just pissed that they served Coke instead of Pepsi.

[SPHASH]

I have a feeling the rehearsal dinner was at a Mexican restaurant. In honor of the rehearsal dinner I think I will go to Qdoba.

[halcionne]

I wouldn't be surprised if that particular blurb was only up for a short time. My husband remembers my reaction, since I WTF'd out loud--not a typical reaction for me at the time. He read it as well, and we both were rather shocked that they would post her intention of eternal servitude (although I think Steve himself, possibly Teri, wrote the blurb). If later on the bio was changed to how she wants to marry, in God's timing, of course, then I just take that as them backtracking. We know Steve has no problem with changing things after receiving feedback. I wish I had a link, but as I don't I understand why there may be some doubt about what I say I saw on Sarah's bio. I will say, though, that it was that one or two sentence blurb that forever sent me down the fundie rabbit hole--I still remember how I felt after reading it, and I wasn't even the one with her foot caught in the Maxwell trap.

Eh, I just wanted to see it for myself. If my attention span weren't so tiny and easily distracted, I would've looked around more, but I lost interest. :D