4th of July at Elissa and Joe Maxwells

[princessmahina]

Anna is probably the most skilled of all the Maxwells. As well as her cooking and home making skills she has office skills from working for the family business, and she is "have-a-go Anna" at all of the "boy" tasks like computer maintenance, electrical wiring, garage door installation, etc.

If she were ever to take off from the compound, with her work ethic, she could train in any of those fields, or flip houses for profit or whatever.

The biggest problem for all of them would be living independently and having self-confidence to go forward.

I don't see any of those girls/women ever living independently. If one of them found a job and started working, I think it would be to help out whichever brother she was living with at the time with her upkeep and to give herself some spending cash for new Bible covers.

[fundiefan]

You guys are all forgetting, Sarah, Anna and Mary totes have mad skills they can use to get jobs to support them. Even though they'll have no job experience when they are looking for their first jobs in their 40s and 50s, they're totally hirable. Sarah is writer and does bookkeeping. Anna is a nutritionist and chef. And Mary is an amazeballs artist. They will be turning jobs down, you guys. Totally!

Don't forget that Mary whipped through ITOnRamp courses at record pace, while still outlining the bible for highschool! Her skillz are far superior to any other girl.

[Jana814]

He may have a life insurance policy.

I really hope he does.

[slickcat79]

They've got it covered! Except not.

titus2.com/wedding/nathan-melanie.html

I went to read the post, and it was worse than I thought :shock: Originally I was thinking, maybe they decided to go as cheap as possible with the reception, and they ordered very few extra meals. Then it would be especially important that everyone get what they originally ordered. But that wasn't even the wedding reception...it was the rehearsal dinner.

I'm sure they were a large-ish group, even with just family, but it should be a fairly quick process to get served in a Mexican restaurant, even if no one ordered ahead of time. And what possible difference could it make if you decided on coke or sprite at the last minute? Wait staff could easily just come through with pitchers and ask everyone what they wanted. Why does this have to be so complicated?!

[ILoveJellybeans]

Nomatter what skills Steve has taught his daughters, its all useless when they have been babied and sheltered so much that without parents they are unable to function in the real world. They might have at least some work skills....or at least, being intelligent enough and having enough physical capability to do a really simple job, but there is so much that they cant do that it will be really difficult for them. They do not know how to manage their own time and require a schedule telling them what to do, but their boss wont have time to babysit them. They probably wouldn't be able to do a job interview as that would require being surprised with questions, let alone being able to interact with customers and co workers and not piss everyone off with religious stuff. They have no idea how the world works, as they have been sheltered from it all. Has Steve ever taught them how to manage money, do taxes, how to behave at a job interview, or even how you get a job in the first place?

They also have no decision making ability, and it would be surprising if any of the Maxwell daughters even had the ability to look up recipes, choose something they haven't had before with no approval from Daddy, go to the supermarket by themselves with a list, come home, cook it and eat it. Or for them to decide that they want to go to a specific event, sort out tickets, transport and enough money to buy things/eat, without asking their dad for anything. Let them loose in a shopping mall on their own with $100 and they would completely panic as they have never had that much choice before. Steve controls everything that on their own they would either keep in a loop of following the same schedule Steve made before he died and pretending he is still there, or completely lose their shit and just sit in a corner panicking and letting everything get out of control.

This is why people teach their kids how to be adults before they are 18. If you don't, you end up doing them a disservice in the long run.

[Wingnut]

Not to mention that they would have no clue what their rights are as an employee if they were hired by someone unethical.

[salex]

I suppose the girls/women could work in a relatively small church as a church secretary, as they do have skills related to inventory, ordering, probably basic printing and could be taught to answer a phone. A church is about the only workplace I can think of that would not have scary Halloween decor/promotions. Most offices would have too many secular scary people, retain has scary customers and seasonal offerings (Santa! Easter Bunny! Ghosts and Witches and Spiderman at Halloween)

Even working in a retirement home with actual access to the residents would put them at risk for grabby old men (and possibly women) and people swearing -- plus naked old bodies. They might be ok working in the kitchen, but the co-workers would be secular most places.

IF they inherit a lump sum or insurance that allows them to live off the interest, then they can just use the most recent 15 minute at a time Schedule for the rest of their lives and one of the brothers or sisters in law can be their chaperons in the big bad world.

[nausicaa]

I suppose the girls/women could work in a relatively small church as a church secretary, as they do have skills related to inventory, ordering, probably basic printing and could be taught to answer a phone. A church is about the only workplace I can think of that would not have scary Halloween decor/promotions. Most offices would have too many secular scary people, retain has scary customers and seasonal offerings (Santa! Easter Bunny! Ghosts and Witches and Spiderman at Halloween)

Even working in a retirement home with actual access to the residents would put them at risk for grabby old men (and possibly women) and people swearing -- plus naked old bodies. They might be ok working in the kitchen, but the co-workers would be secular most places.

IF they inherit a lump sum or insurance that allows them to live off the interest, then they can just use the most recent 15 minute at a time Schedule for the rest of their lives and one of the brothers or sisters in law can be their chaperons in the big bad world.

I agree they could probably work in a church. They'd also be great as nannies, maybe for more conservative families that don't celebrate the "Pagan" holidays. I suppose they could also work for their brothers, but since I suspect most of those businesses are propped up by Steve, I doubt any of them will be successful enough to afford hiring three marginally skilled employees.

I do wonder if Steve is so smug he really believes his daughters are talented enough to support themselves (Anna is a nutritionist! Mary can make greeting cards!) or if he knows those are bullshit stories, and he just keeps them this way so he has total control.

[anjulibai]

Steve believes it. He's delusional.

I think the family is so anti mainstream church at this point that they wouldn't let the girls work at one. Can't be under a non-family member's authority.

[Sundaymorning]

Well, yes, the girls could probably do some basic office work and accounting.

But there are a lot of other people who can do that too, and those usually have a bit more work and life experience than a 40 year old women who has never been alone to a supermarket before.

And as for the low level jobs, even there they need some skills they probably don't have. Like how to deal with co-workers, how to deal with a fast moving environment, how to deal with costumers, especially the unpleasant ones.

I'm pretty sure the daughters wouldn't know what to do with themselves if someone would hit on them, or their co-workers or costumers would make some harmless jokes or talk about basic wordly things everyone knows. They would probably make fools of themselves on a daily basis, at least for a couple of months. And at a work place, they can't go running to Daddy if they are overwhelmed, they are on their own.

The Maxwells are so sheltered that they aren't even used to deal with other fundie/fundie-lites on their own, let alone more secular people.

The girls do have work ethic, that is true. But the only place I can see them without them ending up having a nervous breakdown or getting bullied by others, is at a small business with a very understanding and kind owner, or as housekeepers for a conservative person/couple.

[Jana814]

Steve believes it. He's delusional.

I think the family is so anti mainstream church at this point that they wouldn't let the girls work at one. Can't be under a non-family member's authority.

Agree!!

[DaffyDill]

Thinking of what would become of The Lost Girls™ when Terri and Steve pass away is really rather sobering. They are a little like the unmarried yet genteel daughters of the 19th century, who either became governesses living for other people's children with usually a single room for themselves, or depended upon the largesse of older brothers, who took them in, clothed and fed them.

I would hope The Lost Girls™ would inherit the house between them all, so at least if it's paid off they only have to worry about taxes (I think there are property taxes in the US?), and day to day bills such as food, utilities (gas, electric etc), and clothing. At least two or three brothers are around for help with maintenance. I think they would stay on their daily schedules and fill in the bits done by Steve and Terri themselves. If they do need money though, I'm not sure what they'd do.

I can't see the girls in a workplace environment, unless it was a church, and even then it would be a stretch for them. They may be able to make money by typing up documents for people from home, or as nannies for Godly Families, other than that, it's difficult to see them doing anything. I wouldn't mind betting Godly Families wouldn't pay much, either.

Here's to hoping before rather than when it happens they will loosen up a bit, maybe with help from Melanie or Elissa, and not be so afraid of the world. I doubt it though.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Do you guys believe that any of the girls will get married? Sarah, Anna, or Mary? :think:

[FaithAndReason]

Do you guys believe that any of the girls will get married? Sarah, Anna, or Mary? :think:

No.

[nausicaa]

Do you guys believe that any of the girls will get married? Sarah, Anna, or Mary? :think:

I have this gut feeling (totally scientific!) that Mary will. It will just look too bad for Steve to not have any of the girls ever marry. And Steve cares about appearances. And money.

I have a soft spot for Sarah, so I hold out hope. Anna is a crap shoot for me. I do feel like the next two years or so is do or die time for Steve allowing this to happen. If no one's married by about 2017 or 2018, I bet it won't happen at all.

[16strong]

Do you guys believe that any of the girls will get married? Sarah, Anna, or Mary? :think:

I think it's possible, but highly unlikely. The guy would have to own a house on the same street, attend the nursing home church, and work for Steve at least part time. I think the biggest hurdle would be Steve demanding a suitor that submits to him in all ways, but always disliking the lack of mental fortitude and secureness of character that comes with that territory. For Steve, I think that will always be an issue and a catch 22.

I could also see Steve "courting" a guy, demanding that he buy a house less than a mile away (which the guy would do), and then deciding he didn't like the guy, leaving him in the lurch with a house down the street.

[sparkles]

Do you guys believe that any of the girls will get married? Sarah, Anna, or Mary? :think:

I'll be in the minority here and say that I think they'll all probably marry. In general, for the men at least, they seem to marry somewhat later than most fundies. Joseph was the youngest, IIRC, at around 25, Nathan in his late 20s and Christopher at around 30, right? Mary is still quite young so she's just about coming on the marriage market and if nothing else, she's the best looking of the girls, so there's that (although I thinks she's lost a few pretty points lately). Anna's got a lot going for her in the helpmeet department which makes her a good catch. I think both will find potential suitors through some Maxwellian version of Christian Mingle. A young man—or his parents—reads about the girls on the blog and contacts Steve and it goes from there. He may even get said young man to join the family business and move to Leavenworth. As for Poor Sarah, I've said before that while I don't think she'll marry someone from her age group, I can definitely see her marrying an older widower with children. Whether she'll have her own children remains to be seen. (My guess is at least one.) Three unmarried female children is like a blinking neon sign that says, "FAIL!" so one way or the other, Steve will have to marry them off just to save face. I don't think happiness or compatibility will enter into it; any betrothals will be just strictly business transactions because that's what's good for the brand. Jesus said so.

[princessmahina]

I'll be in the minority here and say that I think they'll all probably marry. In general, for the men at least, they seem to marry somewhat later than most fundies. Joseph was the youngest, IIRC, at around 25, Nathan in his late 20s and Christopher at around 30, right? Mary is still quite young so she's just about coming on the marriage market and if nothing else, she's the best looking of the girls, so there's that (although I thinks she's lost a few pretty points lately). Anna's got a lot going for her in the helpmeet department which makes her a good catch. I think both will find potential suitors through some Maxwellian version of Christian Mingle. A young man—or his parents—reads about the girls on the blog and contacts Steve and it goes from there. He may even get said young man to join the family business and move to Leavenworth. As for Poor Sarah, I've said before that while I don't think she'll marry someone from her age group, I can definitely see her marrying an older widower with children. Whether she'll have her own children remains to be seen. (My guess is at least one.) Three unmarried female children is like a blinking neon sign that says, "FAIL!" so one way or the other, Steve will have to marry them off just to save face. I don't think happiness or compatibility will enter into it; any betrothals will be just strictly business transactions because that's what's good for the brand. Jesus said so.

How depressing :cry:

I really feel for those girls/women. What Steve and Teri did to them is reprehensible. I hope they're all able to find real happiness, even if it is in a Steve masterminded betrothal-marriage.

[nokidsmom]

I think it's possible, but highly unlikely. The guy would have to own a house on the same street, attend the nursing home church, and work for Steve at least part time. I think the biggest hurdle would be Steve demanding a suitor that submits to him in all ways, but always disliking the lack of mental fortitude and secureness of character that comes with that territory. For Steve, I think that will always be an issue and a catch 22.

I could also see Steve "courting" a guy, demanding that he buy a house less than a mile away (which the guy would do), and then deciding he didn't like the guy, leaving him in the lurch with a house down the street.

To the bolded: exactly this. Steve would want to dictate all that the guy should do but that runs completely counter to the idea of the man being his own headship. I would not be surprised if suitors approached Steve only to learn in dismay that his expectations were completely contradictory and impossible. Of course, rather than Steve realizing this, he would deem the suitor as unworthy. Even if one of the daughters does get married, the husband can expect to have Steve down his throat every.single.day.of.his.life.

I dunno, it's apparent that Steve knows that having three unmarried daughters at home doesn't look good in their circles. At the same time, he has extreme control issues that make it near impossible for him to let go.

[Sundaymorning]

I'm not sure if getting married at this point would be better for the daughters than just staying single at least until Stevehova isn't able to rule their life anymore.

Of course, a kind man, which they love, showing up and taking them away would be great. But I fear that any potential suitor who has chances to get Steves approval must be at least as crazy as he is.

I mean, unless some decent guy would just fall hopelessly in love with one of the Maxwells daughters, so much that he would just endure everything in order to get married to her, we can expect that the guys, who don't run away as soon as they realize what kind of lunatic Stevehova is, are about just as bad as he is.

I don't know which type of man Steve would actually give one of his daughters to, a wimp who would do anything he says (and whom later the daughter could maybe control a bit too) or some kind of fundie that would leave Steve so impressed that he would give him one of his daughters (which would probably the worst thing that could happen to them).

What I'm trying to say is that enduring 20 years (after that, even if he is alive, I doubt that Stevehova will have much energy left to terrorise his family) of Stevehova's reign might still be the better option for them than having to be married to some asshole for the next 50 years.

[Justme]

Nath was 24 when he married.

I don't believe the girls will marry. Steve may say he wants them too, but no man will ever measure up to his standards. I think John and Jesse will eventually marry. It's ok if the girl isn't as strick 'cause they will have to do as their husband dictates.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Nath was 24 when he married.

I don't believe the girls will marry. Steve may say he wants them too, but no man will ever measure up to his standards. I think John and Jesse will eventually marry. It's ok if the girl isn't as strick 'cause they will have to do as their husband dictates.

Plus, if Mary, Anna, or Sarah marry, their children won't be Maxwells. That wouldn't sit right with Steve. They'd become "relatives" and who would keep Titus 2 going? Sarah runs the blog, writes the silly kid's books, etc. Anna seems like she cooks the meals. They have jobs already, serving Teri and Steve.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I think it's possible, but highly unlikely. The guy would have to own a house on the same street, attend the nursing home church, and work for Steve at least part time. I think the biggest hurdle would be Steve demanding a suitor that submits to him in all ways, but always disliking the lack of mental fortitude and secureness of character that comes with that territory. For Steve, I think that will always be an issue and a catch 22.

I could also see Steve "courting" a guy, demanding that he buy a house less than a mile away (which the guy would do), and then deciding he didn't like the guy, leaving him in the lurch with a house down the street.

This highlights the trickiness of growing up male in a Quiverful/ATI/Gothard household. Males are raised to be as non-rebellious and non-curious as the females, becoming broken in spirit and completely sub-subservient to their parents. Yet at the same time they are expected to Masters of their own families and make enough money from their own small businesses to buy a house debt-free and then support a wife and ever-expanding brood. It seems like the personality traits beaten into them as children don't naturally to lead to the sort of strong, independent, go-getter type of person they are need to become once grown.

The Duggars have run into similar problems. Just like the Maxwell boys, Josh never did "leave and cleave" but needed his father to help him get jobs. When it came time to marry his daughters off, JB didn't find the perfect ATI material for either girl. He married Jill off to a college educated man who didn't own a house and was working for someone else. He married Jessa off to a man-child without a house or a job so maybe that is what will happen with Mary. Maybe Steve will find a dull, under-educated kid without any prospects (but with a love of the Lord!) hand him a house in the neighborhood and start him off as the Maxwell lawn and errand boy.

[mango_fandango]

Plus, if Mary, Anna, or Sarah marry, their children won't be Maxwells. That wouldn't sit right with Steve. They'd become "relatives" and who would keep Titus 2 going? Sarah runs the blog, writes the silly kid's books, etc. Anna seems like she cooks the meals. They have jobs already, serving Teri and Steve.

I remember bringing this up in an old thread, and one of the replies was that Steve could find three men with the surname Maxwell. It's not exactly an uncommon name. Although, finding three men who are willing to be absorbed into the Maxwell collective and who have the same kinds of beliefs as Stevehovah... that's gonna be hard.

[anjulibai]

This highlights the trickiness of growing up male in a Quiverful/ATI/Gothard household. Males are raised to be as non-rebellious and non-curious as the females, becoming broken in spirit and completely sub-subservient to their parents. Yet at the same time they are expected to Masters of their own families and make enough money from their own small businesses to buy a house debt-free and then support a wife and ever-expanding brood. It seems like the personality traits beaten into them as children don't naturally to lead to the sort of strong, independent, go-getter type of person they are need to become once grown.

The Duggars have run into similar problems. Just like the Maxwell boys, Josh never did "leave and cleave" but needed his father to help him get jobs. When it came time to marry his daughters off, JB didn't find the perfect ATI material for either girl. He married Jill off to a college educated man who didn't own a house and was working for someone else. He married Jessa off to a man-child without a house or a job so maybe that is what will happen with Mary. Maybe Steve will find a dull, under-educated kid without any prospects (but with a love of the Lord!) hand him a house in the neighborhood and start him off as the Maxwell lawn and errand boy.

I think they get around a lot of this by claiming that sons don't actually completely leave their father's authority. They are always beholden to their fathers.