All THINGS DILLARD - Part 3

[bella8050]

Just catching up on the thread...the wording of Derick's email struck me as odd, with his making it clear that he chose to leave, aka wasn't fired, and had taken another job. I wouldn't think that's something that needs to be, or normally is advertised in an auto reply like that.

[Yoshimi]

The one thing I know from watching the previews, is that the scene with the announcement was shot sometime after Derick got his braces but before his mouth surgery. Per Jill, we know he underwent surgery a few days before Izzy’s 1 month birthday on May 6th. The Nepal earthquake was on April 25th. That means they had less than a week to decide on a potentially major life change AND get TLC on board to film them. How it that possible? Does it make sense for the Dillards/TLC to plan an "extended mission trip" (according to inside reports) in that short amount of time?

IMO it's more likely that the Nepal trip was in the works for a while and Derick and Jill only waited to announce it until Izzy was born. The earthquake and/or the fact that Jill had a tough recovery from her C-section may not have been part of their original decision. Not to mention, they now also have to deal with whatever fallout from the Josh scandal.

[elizasc]

I've never seen exactly that wording either... But I'm not in corporate America

[jinseng]

Just catching up on the thread...the wording of Derick's email struck me as odd, with his making it clear that he chose to leave, aka wasn't fired, and had taken another job. I wouldn't think that's something that needs to be, or normally is advertised in an auto reply like that.

Totally agree! It did read weirdly.. I guess he wanted to emphasise the point that he wasn't asked to leave given the Josh Duggar fiasco.

On another note.... I cannot believe how quickly Jill and Derricks life is moving. Seriously, WTF! My head would be spinning with all the life-altering events that have happened to her in the last 12 months... She has gone from single - courting - engaged - married - having sex - moving out - pregnant - baby - recovering from c-section - embracing motherhood - husband has surgery - husband quits job - moving to Nepal.

WTF! I'm sure Jill would have been perfectly content to just sit around breastfeeding in the stoney brook house for at least 10 years... Derrick must really embrace a fast-paced life. He seems like way more fun and adventurous than the rest of them.

[CorruptionInc.]

Totally agree! It did read weirdly.. I guess he wanted to emphasise the point that he wasn't asked to leave given the Josh Duggar fiasco.

On another note.... I cannot believe how quickly Jill and Derricks life is moving. Seriously, WTF! My head would be spinning with all the life-altering events that have happened to her in the last 12 months... She has gone from single - courting - engaged - married - having sex - moving out - pregnant - baby - recovering from c-section - embracing motherhood - husband has surgery - husband quits job - moving to Nepal.

WTF! I'm sure Jill would have been perfectly content to just sit around breastfeeding in the stoney brook house for at least 10 years... Derrick must really embrace a fast-paced life. He seems like way more fun and adventurous than the rest of them.

As fast paced as he may be, he's still a complete idiot for marrying a Duggar. However he seems fairly brainwashed.

[MatthewDuggar]

Just catching up on the thread...the wording of Derick's email struck me as odd, with his making it clear that he chose to leave, aka wasn't fired, and had taken another job. I wouldn't think that's something that needs to be, or normally is advertised in an auto reply like that.

I agree, normally auto-replies like that just say "I'm no longer with the company" and leave it at that. I suppose they allowed him to say he took an outside position just to avoid excessive speculation that he was fired. Who knows. Makes you wonder how his performance was in that one year of employment... At least he has this on his resume moving forward.

[SassyPants]

I agree, normally auto-replies like that just say "I'm no longer with the company" and leave it at that. I suppose they allowed him to say he took an outside position just to avoid excessive speculation that he was fired. Who knows. Makes you wonder how his performance was in that one year of employment... At least he has this on his resume moving forward.

I would love to see how many days he actually was physically at work during that time.

As my hubs says, and he works in the grocery corporate world, "90% of work is showing up."

[twinmama]

Nothing says "Look, I'm a good Christian", more than having a film crew, film it for posterity.

It's the tree falls in the forest thing... if you are a good Christian but no one filmed it for tv, were you really a good enough Christian?? The Duggar Way! haha

[jqlgoblue]

That type of auto-reply makes me think one of two things (not mutually exclusive):

a) He knew there would be media speculation and so this was a CYA

b) He was put on a performance improvement plan b/c of absenteeism or whatever and so chose to find a new job or "find a new job"

It's all actually quite common ... most people who are PIPed find new jobs and new employers are none the wiser.

Also, back to the Derick / country of Israel / end of days delusion ... LOTS of fundie lite folks believe this stuff too. Reagan had advisers on his staff to help him make decisions that would help steer the world towards this (or at least not away) b/c it was the 'truth' and as the leader of the free world he didn't want to F it up.

I have always wondered like most folks here (b/c Derick presents as so normal) what his real deal is and why extreme patriarchy is so appealing to him.

[Maggie Mae]

Just catching up on the thread...the wording of Derick's email struck me as odd, with his making it clear that he chose to leave, aka wasn't fired, and had taken another job. I wouldn't think that's something that needs to be, or normally is advertised in an auto reply like that.

I have seen hundreds of emails similar to Derrick's. There is no conspiracy here. Sometimes the curtains are just blue because the author likes blue curtains.

[nausicaa]

Also, back to the Derick / country of Israel / end of days delusion ... LOTS of fundie lite folks believe this stuff too. Reagan had advisers on his staff to help him make decisions that would help steer the world towards this (or at least not away) b/c it was the 'truth' and as the leader of the free world he didn't want to F it up.

I was always under the impression that Reagan was really not very religious at all. Yes, there were empty gestures to appease the burgeoning "Moral Majority." But he certainly wasn't a fundie-lite considering he and Nancy were thick as thieves with several astrologers.

[SassyPants]

I was always under the impression that Reagan was really not very religious at all. Yes, there were empty gestures to appease the burgeoning "Moral Majority." But he certainly wasn't a fundie-lite considering he and Nancy were thick as thieves with several astrologers.

He wasn't when he was the Gov of CA and living on 45th Street in Sacramento.

I have family that live on that street and my dad grew up in that area of Sacramento- my dad still laughs at how RR morph'd himself to become POTUS- he was an actor, after all.

[nokidsmom]

I would love to see how many days he actually was physically at work during that time.

As my hubs says, and he works in the grocery corporate world, "90% of work is showing up."

I do wonder about his attendance too given show appearances, talking to news outlets, needy wife who's having a baby, having surgery AND he was a relatively new employee. I wouldn't be surprised if he did find a new job because there were issues with him being at work. Plus working in accounting, there's days you must be there, end of month / year closings, etc. It seems plausible that he might have found another job because of performance related to absenteeism. No way to know really but the combination of new employee plus having to take what looks to be a good amount of time off in a first year....most employers are not going to be ok with that.

[SassyPants]

I do wonder about his attendance too given show appearances, talking to news outlets, needy wife who's having a baby, having surgery AND he was a relatively new employee. I wouldn't be surprised if he did find a new job because there were issues with him being at work. Plus working in accounting, there's days you must be there, end of month / year closings, etc. It seems plausible that he might have found another job because of performance related to absenteeism. No way to know really but the combination of new employee plus having to take what looks to be a good amount of time off in a first year....most employers are not going to be ok with that.

Not any that I worked for during my career. If you're not there to do the work, they have to pay someone else, as the work still needs to get done.

Missing chunks of work points to being unreliable. While being unreliable might be accepted in the short term for a very seasoned and proven employee, generally not so for a newbie.

I'l admit, I thought Derick was a better man. I was wrong.

[twinmama]

About thinking Derek was a better man... I was about to say he showed who he was by getting involved with this crazy group, but if he loves Jill I'm glad he didn't let her nutso family get in the way of being with her. What shows who he really is, to me, is that he is STILL hanging around with the Duggars and not getting his family out of there and making a life with them. And I don't mean to post-natural disaster Nepal!

[ClaraOswin]

I think it says a lot that he went out of his way to contact JB to be his prayer partner.

[SassyPants]

And again with the inconsistencies. According to Gothard, Derick is now the headship of the Dillard family, not JB Duggar or Jill Dillard. So if he's really following the tenets, HE is the person who gets to decide where they live and whether or not he works for a living. I seriously doubt Derick independently decided that now was the perfect time to quit WM- And, I'm sorry, but if the "neck" is leading you into a disastrous situation, the headship needs to gently lead the neck in a different direction.

This is the guy who claimed that he would not use credit to fix a car in need of repair. He worked and used scholarships to avoid student debt. BD (before Duggar) he seemed to be able to reason using some level of common sense. It's shameful what has happened to DD in such a short amount of time.

Again, poor Cathy.

[Handmaiden of Dog]

My personal theory: Derick's first year at WM was rough with his courtship/engagement/marriage/fatherhood all being broadcast on TV. Add to that his time off for these events plus filming plus speaking at conventions. Even if he managed to get to work most days he must have been very distracted especially after he got married and Jill showed up for lunch every day. So when he talked to TLC about an independent storyline involving the Dillards traveling to Nepal, TLC said "Go for it!" Derick awash with TLC money and bridal gifts and free housing decided he could easily quit his job and WM was more than happy to see him go. Although, I agree with MalteseBaby if he did quit before coming back from paternity leave he more or less burned his boats there and can kiss off a recommendation from his boss.

Then the scandal broke and the trip was put on hold while TLC frantically analyzed the situation. Derick is committed to going but at this point is TLC obligated to pay for it? I think this may be one of the reasons that TLC is reluctant to announce the cancellation of the series. It would be interesting to find out if Derick had a verbal promise or a contract or just a vague show of support from TLC. JB might be trying to force their hand if he feels like they are not honoring their agreement. On the other hand, TLC may have a morality clause built in to the contract.

The upshot at this point is the Dillards may still want to go but are floundering to find a support system.

[SassyPants]

My personal theory: Derick's first year at WM was rough with his courtship/engagement/marriage/fatherhood all being broadcast on TV. Add to that his time off for these events plus filming plus speaking at conventions. Even if he managed to get to work most days he must have been very distracted especially after he got married and Jill showed up for lunch every day. So when he talked to TLC about an independent storyline involving the Dillards traveling to Nepal, TLC said "Go for it!" Derick awash with TLC money and bridal gifts and free housing decided he could easily quit his job and WM was more than happy to see him go. Although, I agree with MalteseBaby if he did quit before coming back from paternity leave he more or less burned his boats there and can kiss off a recommendation from his boss.

Then the scandal broke and the trip was put on hold while TLC frantically analyzed the situation. Derick is committed to going but at this point is TLC obligated to pay for it? I think this may be one of the reasons that TLC is reluctant to announce the cancellation of the series. It would be interesting to find out if Derick had a verbal promise or a contract or just a vague show of support from TLC. JB might be trying to force their hand if he feels like they are not honoring their agreement. On the other hand, TLC may have a morality clause built in to the contract.

The upshot at this point is the Dillards may still want to go but are floundering to find a support system.

Best thing that could happen to the Dillards is for Derick to have to find a new accounting job.

It's time for all those married Duggars to leave and cleave. Move out of Duggar subsidized housing and move on with life.

[SassyPants]

My personal theory: Derick's first year at WM was rough with his courtship/engagement/marriage/fatherhood all being broadcast on TV. Add to that his time off for these events plus filming plus speaking at conventions. Even if he managed to get to work most days he must have been very distracted especially after he got married and Jill showed up for lunch every day. So when he talked to TLC about an independent storyline involving the Dillards traveling to Nepal, TLC said "Go for it!" Derick awash with TLC money and bridal gifts and free housing decided he could easily quit his job and WM was more than happy to see him go. Although, I agree with MalteseBaby if he did quit before coming back from paternity leave he more or less burned his boats there and can kiss off a recommendation from his boss.

Then the scandal broke and the trip was put on hold while TLC frantically analyzed the situation. Derick is committed to going but at this point is TLC obligated to pay for it? I think this may be one of the reasons that TLC is reluctant to announce the cancellation of the series. It would be interesting to find out if Derick had a verbal promise or a contract or just a vague show of support from TLC. JB might be trying to force their hand if he feels like they are not honoring their agreement. On the other hand, TLC may have a morality clause built in to the contract.

The upshot at this point is the Dillards may still want to go but are floundering to find a support system.

Several years ago my hubs had a boss who was in a new relationship...who eventually got engaged and married { older folks, second and third times around the block] This occurred over about 24 months- my hubs actually did both jobs, for 2 years. These were very high level corporate jobs (#1 and 2 men in a large business). My hubs eventually had to transfer to another division...that's how bad it was. I can only imagine all that AND a reality TV show.

[VelociRapture]

Quick question: Is this all just speculation or has the Nepal trip been confirmed? Maybe I'm completely naive, but I honestly think he just took a job somewhere else. The announcement could have been the news that they were moving for the new job and Boob just didn't expect it.

[SassyPants]

Quick question: Is this all just speculation or has the Nepal trip been confirmed? Maybe I'm completely naive, but I honestly think he just took a job somewhere else. The announcement could have been the news that they were moving for the new job and Boob just didn't expect it.

Good question.

I hope that you are right.

You know, it did seem that Derick (and Jill for a time too) were absent from much of the filming over the last year.

The Jessa engagement and wedding planning episodes...and recent appearances at the church, Ben's grad (yes, the Dillards were at a wedding), the Erika Hill episode...

The only thing that leads me to discount this possibility is Cathy's health. Maybe Derick spoke with Cathy about his concerns and she told him to go for it??

[Alyciabaleesha]

Quick question: Is this all just speculation or has the Nepal trip been confirmed? Maybe I'm completely naive, but I honestly think he just took a job somewhere else. The announcement could have been the news that they were moving for the new job and Boob just didn't expect it.

I agree. I see all of the posts that are roundly condemning Jill and Derick for going to Nepal, and yet I don't believe a single thing has actually been uncovered that corroborates that. It's not that I'd be surprised to find out that's the case, but rather that nothing has been confirmed or unearthed that points to Derick not just taking another job, to the best of my knowledge.

[ClaraOswin]

I really hope it's just a new job in maybe a new state or something. If they want a million kids, he really needs to have a real job.

[halcionne]

From the Derick quit his job thread (viewtopic.php?f=87&p=967126#p967133):

Do we know that they joined formally? Or are they regular attenders? Seriously, not trying to be snarky, but I've seen Gothardites from home churches start regularly attending mainstream churches, but they make no move to join officially and sort of just use it as a facade to cover up their real religion (Gothardism).

Sometimes, Gothardites/fundatmentalists will make a move to change the outward appearance of the frumper look especially if they're trying to prove they are not part of a cult that has recently gotten so much bad press. In this way, I think Derick proves to himself he couldn't have gotten himself connected to a cult and Jill doesn't come from a cult, because if that were true, then they wouldn't be able to attend other churches. But that is the sinister side of this cult...the denial.

Duggars/Bates may make many moves like this (visiting/attending main stream churches, clothing changes, etc), but until you see them exit the ATI conferences and resign from IBLP boards and denounce Gothard himself, they're still in the cult.

These are excellent questions and I don't think FJers know they definitive answer, but they seem to attend regularly and have friends who attend. The strong evidence for me is that they dedicated Israel to Jesus there. I don't think many churches will dedicate any old baby, just members' babies.

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-mom ... on-2015115

As for your last paragraph, I agree that IBLP folks may attempt to pass as regular conservative christians, but it's also possible that ATI/IBLP followers worship at regular (seeming? idk) churches and do cult stuff as a supplement. *shiver* 5kids6months family had a disturbing post--and basicall their whole blog, imo--about their descent into the cult. Spoiler: they still don't know what they've gotten into. :cry:

5kids6months.blogspot.com/2015/05/2015-family-conference-in-big-sandy-tx.html

My personal sanity-proctection policy forbids me from watching fundie videos, but reading this post and watching the Family Testimony at the end was worth it. This poor family has the best intentions but they're going down a terrible path. And they're still in a regular church.

edited to fix quote tags