Robert wrangles a bull: the true story

[ViolaSebastian]

You know, now that both FJ and SSB have called Robert out on his disgusting ideology and terrible interpretation of the scriptures, I'm reminded of an old Yiddish saying: If one person calls you a donkey, ignore him; if two people call you a donkey, buy a saddle!

[salex]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

She says "read what I've written" but bitches because people have read posts she made on a message board. She puts "happily" married in quotes... she's not reading what others wrote so instead of responding to what was written she must be writing what he tells her to write.
What the ever loving fuck is with these people. All this over a blog post he pulled? If you are going to take stances on line, you'd better have the balls to back them up.

hiswife
JANUARY 11, 2015 @ 1:45 PM
This is Amanda. I have to speak up, but I am not reading your vile, disgusting comments.

NFO:

So, what is she responding to?

I am *happily* married to a man who is a very good man, a great husband and a fantastic father. I wouldn’t rather be married to anyone else, or single. I wouldn’t trade the life we have for anything. We ran the blog because our marriage was a shambles. When we abandoned the teaching of the church (which is the same teaching on this site) we finally found peace. The teaching of the church is pure poison and it is not Scriptural. It only fed to a horrible marriage. We found that God’s word says something different than what is being taught in the church and here. Thus, we began a blog because we wanted to help other couples whose marriages were being destroyed by the poison of the modern church. I approved every single word that was posted and I approve of the complete message of the blog.

I am SO MAD at you all at this moment. For a year now the Free Jingers have been harassing my family and I with such false claims such as these. Multiple times, I have said that I am HAPPY, my family is happy. There has never been an ounce of abuse from my husband. DO YOU GET THAT, PEOPLE????

First of all, you all are acting like a bunch of COWARDS!!!!! Some, all, whatever, have had access to everything we have said on our blog and elsewhere on the internet. NOT ONE SINGLE TIME did ANYONE ever e-mail me or contact me, instead you began spewing filth and lies. You have not made an effort to validate any of this, but rather have projected your own disgusting thoughts onto my husband and I.

For ten years, we had a horrible marriage. I entered marriage an unhappy, hateful woman. That only grew worse until I decided to do my marriage God’s way. And you know what, it changed. I am happy now. We have a happy, healthy marriage and home. My husband has NEVER abused me or our children. And I am DISGUSTED that you people would make such false accusations without even attempting to find more to the situation.

My own words have been on multiple websites and no one is willing to read them. Instead they attack my husband. Your own hatred is showing.

You are acting as cowards because despite NO ONE ever trying to contact me, I privately tried to contact your site owner, and shockingly, my e-mail has been left unresponded to. While I have no desire to actually meet any of you because I trust NO ONE because of the disgusting behavior by others online who have read every single one of my personal blog posts (somewhere around 1800), read 40-50,000 posts on message boards that have been pulled and hidden for 2+ years as the companies dissolved and hacked my accounts. And then these people threaten to physically harm my family and I, as well as threaten us in multiple ways, despite THEM being the ones who are acting unethically. So while I don’t want to meet up with anyone, I have offered to meet the owner of the site, but in the bullying and cowardly fashion that this entire thread has been made, she has not responded.

SO, BEFORE YOU ALL WANT TO RUN YOUR MOUTHS, WHY DONâ€T YOU ACTUALLY CONTACT ME TO SEE IF THERE COULD BE ANYTHING TO ANYTHING? OR SHUT UP!!!! But you won’t do either because your own hatred betrays any honesty that may exist. Many of the people who have jumped on this bandwagon (hello Free Jingers!) have had my personal information including phone numbers. Yet, in their *honest* concern, they never once called me. Excuse me while I roll my eyes at the honest concern.

Unless anyone wants to actually man up and e-mail me [JA removed e-mail address], then please leave the personal attacks out, okay? Robert doesn’t have access to my e-mail or computer. Ironically, despite the accusations, I am the one who has complete control of the technology in our house. I am the one who controls all the passwords and he knows only what I have shared with him. So, please lets not use that as a petty excuse to be a coward and not try to contact me.

I WILL NOT RESPOND TO COMMENTS HERE. We have a year under our belt of dealing with people of your beliefs and you don’t play fair. IF YOU WANT TO REPLY TO MY COMMENT – THEN E-MAIL ME. I WILL NOT RESPOND TO ANY POSTS HERE. PERIOD. I WILL NOT.

Just because our ideology doesn’t line up with yours does not give you the right to speak such disgusting filth! Even more so if you are claiming Christ!

[church_of_dog]

If just what he has admitted to is true, he is guilty of mental abuse imo.

It's definitely possible. But what I had been getting from all this, up til now, is that it's his writing that is poor -- that's what I meant about him being a really horrible communicator. He doesn't know how to describe things clearly and in any relevant context. He tries to make point A and in the process says stuff that seems to imply a dozen other things, which may not be accurate but that were implied by his poor choice of words.

I wish I had examples at hand, but I've noticed/thought this many times while reading his writing.

On the other hand, I could definitely be wrong, too. And that's seeming more and more likely... :cry:

[Pammy]

He is definitely spiritually abusive. He has convinced Amanda that it is 'sin' to resist his putative 'authority' and also 'sin' to ever refuse him sexual access to her body, and to speak in ways that are insubordinate or unflattering.

By convincing her that, "God thinks what I think." He has gained the threat of eternal pain punishment as well as the ally of a perfect invisible surveillance system. The *effect* of this on a religious abusee is exactly the same as if he had directly threatened to torture her, and installed a perfect surveillance system. That's why even irreligious social workers and legal persons can and often do take spiritual or religious abuse seriously. Even if *they* don't believe that the abusee is being watched by 'God' or that s/he will actually burn in hell... They recognize that the abusee believes that, and the abuser has created, enhanced, manipulated and leveraged those beliefs into an incredibly powerful control mechanism.

[Tiger Lily]

Robert has now posted "Sex Advice", in its entirety, on SSB because he thinks that's going to help him look better. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

With a little patience, we can sit back and watch him post all of his "private" blog on another site....to make his point.

Edited for punctuation.

Maybe I'm missing something, but what does SSB stand for?

[Koala]

Maybe I'm missing something, but what does SSB stand for?

Spiritual Sounding Board

[lawfulevil]

Amanda-

You want to know why I haven't contacted you to express concerns?

1. Because I don't trust that your husband wouldn't interfere or outright respond HIMSELF. Which means that whether you're being abused or not, I wouldn't be able to tell from your responses, and I wouldn't be able to trust that what you said to me was truthful. What I DO know is that contacting you directly would rile Robert up, because-

2. Your husband hysterically accused FJ of "stalking" and "threatening" you and the children and declared he was going to MOVE YOUR FAMILY TO ALASKA. Over "threats to your family" that, as far as I can tell, consisted of:

Me: snarking on FJ, using Google, reading and quoting publicly available information, some unflattering graphics.

Other people on FJ: snarking on FJ, using Google, reading and quoting publicly available information, some unflattering memes, commenting on your (public) blog, emailing an address you invite all readers to email.

If that's what constitutes stalking in Robert's book, calling you must be pretty damn close to adultery.

[ViolaSebastian]

Spiritual Sounding Board---spiritualsoundingboard.com

I'm reading it now, and I get the feeling that Robert thought that Julie Ann wouldn't agree to meet with Amanda, so when she agreed to meet with her, Robert had to back pedal and say that Amanda felt like she wouldn't get a fair shake from Julie Ann and refuses to meet with her.

[Koala]

Do they live close to each other, or is he planning to put Amanda on a plane??? This is all just so bizarre to me :evil-eye:

[Tiger Lily]

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

She says "read what I've written" but bitches because people have read posts she made on a message board. She puts "happily" married in quotes... she's not reading what others wrote so instead of responding to what was written she must be writing what he tells her to write.

What the ever loving fuck is with these people. All this over a blog post he pulled? If you are going to take stances on line, you'd better have the balls to back them up.

{L_MESSAGE_HIDDEN}:

I don't get it. If Amanda is unwilling to read or respond to the "vile" comments on this site, then why is she willing to read the "vile" comments sent to her e-mail address? What would be the difference?

[ViolaSebastian]

Do they live close to each other, or is he planning to put Amanda on a plane??? This is all just so bizarre to me :evil-eye:

Apparently they live close to each other. But I don't think it's going to happen.

Here's the thing: Amanda can claim up and down that she's fine and happy and not being abused. But I know firsthand and from my studies that people living in abusive situations rarely realize how off the rails things have gotten. That takes time and distance. So I truly believe that Robert could be abusing her and she could not even realize it at this point.

[usmcmom]

Maybe I'm missing something, but what does SSB stand for?

Sorry...here is the specific thread we're talking about:

spiritualsoundingboard.com/2015/01/08/marital-rape-is-it-even-a-possibility-in-christian-marriage/#comments

[Tiger Lily]

Apparently they live close to each other. But I don't think it's going to happen.

Here's the thing: Amanda can claim up and down that she's fine and happy and not being abused. But I know firsthand and from my studies that people living in abusive situations rarely realize how off the rails things have gotten. That takes time and distance. So I truly believe that Robert could be abusing her and she could not even realize it at this point.

And also, some people believe abuse is only physical so everything else is fair game. Robert's controlling actions and harshness might be perceived by Amanda as Godly chastisement using Robert as the conduit -- especially if she has been beaten down to the point where she looks to him for complete guidance.

Re: SSB, I just checked it out and was heartened to read that after all those 271 comments by people with a vast array of differing beliefs, they all agreed that Robert's sex advice is whack, that he and Amanda fail to comprehend that they must own what they put on the Internet and best of all (!!!), that one commenter Tweeted about Robert's boorish sex tips ("Robert advises men to only give wives orgasms 80% of the time. Can't make this up.") Our old egomaniacal nemesis is now on Twitter for all to read and comment on! I absolutely love it! Having said that, it further concerns me that Robert's about to blow a gasket.

[Mecca]

Yes, I agree that Robert is a shit communicator, but it is the words of Amanda, not Robert, that makes me believe she is being mistreated and abused in their marriage. People that have healthy and happy marriages do not have to sacrifice and give up on who they are just to keep their spouse happy because that spouse is an insecure manipulator. If that is not abusive, I don't know what is.

[usmcmom]

And also, some people believe abuse is only physical so everything else is fair game. Robert's controlling actions and harshness might be perceived by Amanda as Godly chastisement using Robert as the conduit -- especially if she has been beaten down to the point where she looks to him for complete guidance.

Re: SSB, I just checked it out and was heartened to read that after all those 271 comments by people with a vast array of differing beliefs, they all agreed that Robert's sex advice is whack, that he and Amanda fail to comprehend that they must own what they put on the Internet and best of all (!!!), that one commenter Tweeted about Robert's boorish sex tips ("Robert advises men to only give wives orgasms 80% of the time. Can't make this up.") Our old egomaniacal nemesis is now on Twitter for all to read and comment on! I absolutely love it! Having said that, it further concerns me that Robert's about to blow a gasket.

Congratulations, Robert! Your marriage advice is finally reaching thousands of people - just like you wanted. See! You just had to be patient. :wink-kitty:

[Koala]

I am trying very hard not to think of the massive cow he is having right now. I am thinking it's really bad at their house tonight. And the poor kids don't even get to leave to go to school.

[ThisOlGirl]

Amanda really doesn't get that it was HER HUSBAND that put all their business out there for the world to see, does she? That's the ONLY reason we even know about them. Or maybe she does get it, but obviously she can't direct her anger at Boobert.

[ViolaSebastian]

I am trying very hard not to think of the massive cow he is having right now. I am thinking it's really bad at their house tonight. And the poor kids don't even get to leave to go to school.

This worries me as well. :cry:

[thoughtful]

Never mind us -- Robert needs to keep some files on himself and what he's said! Robert makes me wish that there was an even stronger phrase than "hoisted by his own petard." And that's considering that the original phrase refers to being blown up by one's own bomb!

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/hois ... etard.html

I agree with Burris and others who have pointed out how quick Robert was to defend himself against accusations of not being a big strong dude, after months of manly self-control not coming here to refute our discussing the horrible way he thinks of and treats his wife -- that really struck me as a sign of very odd priorities.

BTW, when I read the story, I thought it was saying that the older animal kicked the younger one's butt, not Robert's. But that's pretty meaningless -- the story did say that Robert gave up, came home and hoped both cattle would find their way home, so it still knocks his claim of bull-wrestling into a cocked hat (which I guess makes it a cock-and-bull story! :D ).

Robert, if you are reading -- anyone who writes about a fellow adult as someone who is disobedient and needs to be disciplined :shock: is on a very bizarre path, and the Bible can't be made your excuse for that (especially since you really don't seem to know your Bible -- it seems to me you get your marriage guidelines from this film: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvr9mo ... shortfilms).

The posts on the scrapbooking forum strike me as those of a woman whose frustration is mounting as she deals with a person who won't acknowledge that anything is ever his fault, or yield or cooperate in any way. As Robert got more and more difficult, it sounded like she got more and more frustrated, and some of it came out in mildly badmouthing him.

Robert, this may surprise you -- I don't like to hear women going on and on about their husbands being big dopes. I detest the whole "oh, men -- they're all such babies" routine. In fact, that's one thing I like about fj -- I can't remember ever reading any of that here.

Now, I'm one of the people always posting "there are more than 8000 people here on fj, we are not all the same, etc." But I would be willing to bet you won't find threads like that here -- maybe not even single posts.

Think about it -- why does a group that seems to have a majority of independent feminist women, who rant about all kinds of things, no holds barred, not have pages and pages of that "oh, my stupid husband, men are babies" nonsense?

Maybe it's because having marriages (and parent-child relationships, and work relationships, and friendships) in which we see others as fully-formed human beings, with equal rights, makes for peace and respect.

Maybe we know that one partner being on a constant GodlyGaslighting campaign is not a happy marriage.

[lawfulevil]

I like how dozens of people, mostly devout Christians who've studied the Bible quite closely for years, have told Robert that his views on marriage are gross, unBiblical, and abusive... but according to Robert, the problem is still those evil feminists brainwashing everyone. Some people on that forum have made truly magnificent points:

In his comment above Robert relies on the passages declaring that the two shall become one on marriage. That’s a spiritual joining represented by the physical coupling. Intercourse with your spouse is no more intercourse with yourself than punching your spouse would be considered punching yourself. If you punch your spouse and send him or her to the hospital, I’d likely expect an arrest with no excuses about how punching your spouse’s face is no different from punching your own.

My question is, if the husband doesn’t want to have sex, is the wife “entitled†to go ahead with it anyway? That’s usually the question that gets you a marital rape denier’s real position. I don’t recall any of them ever answering “yes.â€

Are you ever rebellious to your wife or is your wife the only one who is rebellious? It’s completely inappropriate to use “rebellious†in reference to a spouse. Rebellious dog? Yes. Wife? No.

When you talk about doubting Julie Anne’s salvation, what doctrine do you embrace. Catholic, Calvinist, Reformed, Arminian, Lutheran or is it something else?...

Or do you strictly raise doubt of Julie Anne’s salvation based on the fact you don’t agree with her?

Home schooling is not a wise choice for someone who easily becomes overwhelmed. Children have definite educational needs, which could be neglegted that way. I think Robert let her home school to be in complete control of not just her but also the children, with no teacher or other outside influence. This is not about them, but about him.

So many intelligent people who disagree with Robert, but of course they're ALL WRONG. It reminds me of what I said last week-

Normal, rational people reconsider their opinions after they interact with a new group of people... but Robert is immune to reason, so no amount of evidence to the contrary will ever change his beliefs... as he gets older he will get more and more angry as the evidence piles up that his philosophies and reality differ. He KNOWS the truth, so everything that seems to disprove the truth must be some kind of lie, trick, or conspiracy.

[thoughtful]

Lawfulevil, thanks for gathering those up and posting them here.

Of course, my only mild disagreement is that I wouldn't even see a dog as "rebellious." :D All living creatures are out there just trying to live -- their not doing exactly what a BossMan like Robert thinks they should does not make them rebellious. I'm sure the bull and steer were just wandering about, confused after not being able to get to the cows they desired.

Rebels (y'know, people who start a revolution, with war and all) are rebellious. Children might act rebelliously to send a message to adults about their anger or frustration.

But seeing one's spouse as rebellious is so bizarre that I can't even wrap my head around it.

[Tiger Lily]

I like how dozens of people, mostly devout Christians who've studied the Bible quite closely for years, have told Robert that his views on marriage are gross, unBiblical, and abusive... but according to Robert, the problem is still those evil feminists brainwashing everyone. Some people on that forum have made truly magnificent points:

So many intelligent people who disagree with Robert, but of course they're ALL WRONG. It reminds me of what I said last week-

Exactly! I really enjoyed reading these as well. Naturally, Robert couldn't be bothered to address these comments/concerns since they weren't "worth answering." :roll:

I also loved this comment:

christianagnostic

January 11, 2015 @ 8:19 PM

Robert & Amanda are not interested in discussion. For all their outrage, they have done nothing but be rude and easily offended while avoiding honest questions and criticism of their views.

Says it all, doesn't it?

[salex]

Every post that disagrees with Robert simply proves his point to himself that the church has become feminized.

[Grimalkin]

I can only imagine what he is telling Amanda between his comments about Julie Anne's salvation, and Amanda's wild diatribe about being physically threatened. Her whole rant was crazy. Is he telling his family they are going to hell if they don't follow suit?

[Tiger Lily]

I can only imagine what he is telling Amanda between his comments about Julie Anne's salvation, and Amanda's wild diatribe about being physically threatened. Her whole rant was crazy. Is he telling his family they are going to hell if they don't follow suit?

I don't even want to think about that. I suspect there's little joy and much anxiety in that household.