Time for that much needed special Family Time

[SquirrelySquirrel]

My 8 y.o. is obsessed with geology right now. But you see, her soul has been captured by Satan, because she studies the actual science behind how they're formed and thinks there are some that are more than 6000 years old. What do I do?!?

[uber frau]

Institute a strict policy of Bible Time twice a day and throw away The Beast.

Stop letting her access ungodly books like children's encyclopedias or anything that contains the lyrics to 'Row, row, row your boat'. Replace all her school work with several quarter hour blocks of Bible copying (see the inKLEINations blog) and polishing kitchen cabinets.

If you keep this up for at least ten years, you might be able to keep her from going to hell when she dies.

[rural juror]

The weird thing is, the Maxwells do partake in "new" activities once in a while. We hear of the boys going places for work. We know they have visited the Duggars for Joseph's graduation, but no mention of it in the blog (I don't think TLC filmed the graduation, so there wouldn't be a gag order, right?). Surely they know the readers would find such a post 1000 times more interesting than a post about polishing kitchen counters, yet they post the same old crap. :think:

[YPestis]

The weird thing is, the Maxwells do partake in "new" activities once in a while. We hear of the boys going places for work. We know they have visited the Duggars for Joseph's graduation, but no mention of it in the blog (I don't think TLC filmed the graduation, so there wouldn't be a gag order, right?). Surely they know the readers would find such a post 1000 times more interesting than a post about polishing kitchen counters, yet they post the same old crap. :think:

Yeah, now that I think about it, they do avoid sharing some of their more interesting activities. Are they *trying* to show how boring their lives are? Maybe they feel anything that's too exciting or "worldly" would ruin that impression.

[twin2]

Wow, so Mary and Jesse had a contest to see if they can find similar rocks! How exciting! I know none of us may know what the Maxwells are truly like through the blog, but it's postings such as this that makes me think they've all been turned into robots. Two young adults comparing rocks is considered a fun game? WTF. I think a 10 year old can find more interesting ways to pass the time.

What the ever loving fuck????? I can't even wrap my head around that. Have a contest to find a rare rock, or to find the most different types of rocks, sure. But find the same rock??????????? If that is what Sarah considers exciting, I wonder what she considers boring?

It goes to show how amazing God’s creation is when one can’t find two rocks just the same!

Yeah, I'm sure God designed each and every rock........................

I think that has to be one of the most inane things she has ever written.

[Dandruff]

Yeah, I'm sure God designed each and every rock........................

I think that has to be one of the most inane things she has ever written.

Agree, and find it even more amazing that those two adults were trying. :wtf:

[SquirrelySquirrel]

Institute a strict policy of Bible Time twice a day and throw away The Beast.

Stop letting her access ungodly books like children's encyclopedias or anything that contains the lyrics to 'Row, row, row your boat'. Replace all her school work with several quarter hour blocks of Bible copying (see the inKLEINations blog) and polishing kitchen cabinets.

If you keep this up for at least ten years, you might be able to keep her from going to hell when she dies.

Got it! I will also start drying beans immediately and have her scrub all the kitchen cabinets this weekend instead of having an evil birthday party.

[congusto]

Agree, and find it even more amazing that those two adults were trying. :wtf:

I know, right?

Then there are all of theses crazy aberrations like snowflakes, fingerprints, leaf veins, sea shells, and identical twins who have differing favourite colours!

JesusChristAlfuckingMighty!

[nomoxian]

Institute a strict policy of Bible Time twice a day and throw away The Beast.

Stop letting her access ungodly books like children's encyclopedias or anything that contains the lyrics to 'Row, row, row your boat'. Replace all her school work with several quarter hour blocks of Bible copying (see the inKLEINations blog) and polishing kitchen cabinets.

If you keep this up for at least ten years, you might be able to keep her from going to hell when she dies.

Only because she will already be in hell

[salex]

Only because she will already be in hell

Without completely diverting this thread, I popped out to the Inkleinations blog and OMG-- My weekend plans are made, I have to read the crazy.

My very fast first impression is that many of the people photographed on their blog (aka their family) look a little off somehow,will need to look more about that.

My second impression is that they, like so many who we snark on, appear to make a living or part of one by their "ministry"

Ah, a rabbit hole to leap into. :popcorn2:

[Coco]

Without completely diverting this thread, I popped out to the Inkleinations blog and OMG-- My weekend plans are made, I have to read the crazy.

My very fast first impression is that many of the people photographed on their blog (aka their family) look a little off somehow,will need to look more about that.

My second impression is that they, like so many who we snark on, appear to make a living or part of one by their "ministry"

Ah, a rabbit hole to leap into. :popcorn2:

Q: What has 32 arms, has 32 legs, and uses way too much bathroom tissue?

A: The Klein family!

well they start off by talking about TP usage! yep this is going to be a fun one. :lol:

[salex]

Q: What has 32 arms, has 32 legs, and uses way too much bathroom tissue?

A: The Klein family!

well they start off by talking about TP usage! yep this is going to be a fun one. :lol:

Their oldest son is "wait for it" a computer consultant (dad and one of the younger brothers may be as well) I found their site and they appear to be (wait for it) web site developers.... This career apparently is a requirement in Fundie Families--somebody has to be one!

I was especially interested in seeing their marketing page for their computer business and-- here it is: silver-chalice.com/

Note that most of the testimonials are from his family or groups his family works with. Copyright of the site is 2011-- so who knows what he's doing now--but I'd say that Wix and Weebly may eat his lunch if he's not careful. This son just got married this summer, and I can't see him supporting eleventy kids based on work he'll get from that site.

Now I have to figure out what dad does... is most of their income pitching bible ideas to other fundies?

These homeschool events are sounding more and more like some kind of daisy chain...

well, lunch is over and I've wholly derailed this thread... sorry.

[Sundaymorning]

Feeding chipmunks.

[clese]

Just went onto the kleins site..saw the wedding dress. Something inside of me kinda died...

[Coco]

Just went onto the kleins site..saw the wedding dress. Something inside of me kinda died...

oh so familiar. i'm happy for them, they seem really happy and in love. But it's such bondage. Can't help snarking on overly modest peeps. Those old days of headcoverings and wearing 6-8 layers on top to obscure any shape. bra, full slip, undershirt, cape dress, lined vest. okay that's 7 layers lol >sigh< and we went out in public like that too :embarrassed: still remember the first few times wearing normal clothes and that feeling of suddenly being invisible - not a side show anymore. :lol:

source: blog.inkleinations.com/2014/07/zak-beths-testimony.html

[Odd1Out]

Just visited the Klein blog. Haven't gotten far on posts yet. In the family picture (header) - the sister on the far right reminds me of a brunette version of one of the younger Grady sisters, that never looked like her other sisters to me.

[salex]

oh so familiar. i'm happy for them, they seem really happy and in love. But it's such bondage. Can't help snarking on overly modest peeps. Those old days of headcoverings and wearing 6-8 layers on top to obscure any shape. bra, full slip, undershirt, cape dress, lined vest. okay that's 7 layers lol >sigh< and we went out in public like that too :embarrassed: still remember the first few times wearing normal clothes and that feeling of suddenly being invisible - not a side show anymore. :lol:

Can you tell me what denomination they might be? They say not Mormon, Catholic, Amish or Mennonite.

When I was a kid, there were some "Fire Baptised Holiness" church members who dressed sort of like this, only more fashionable, really. I am just curious.

[anjulibai]

I hadn't heard of the Kleins before, so I checked their site out.

They have a Hannah, a Joanna and a Susannah....WHY!?!

[HoneyBunny]

Is THAT the wedding dress? Since they wear long skirts and head scarves all the time, I thought it was just a white shirt over a white t-shirt with a white skirt and scarf. Really, is that the wedding dress? There's all kinds of modest (and cheap) wedding dresses available, why wear the same thing you wear every day but in a different color?

Reminds me so much of my high school uniform. It was a dress, and we had to have the same dress in all white, for "special" occasions. But it was the same damn fugly dress and the color didn't make it feel one bit special.

[ILoveJellybeans]

That is possibly the ugliest wedding dress I have ever seen.

[twin2]

I know, right?

Then there are all of theses crazy aberrations like snowflakes, fingerprints, leaf veins, sea shells, and identical twins who have differing favourite colours!

JesusChristAlfuckingMighty!

My head. Explodes! How is that all possible! The power of God's creation is the only possible explanation!

On another note, I think we just got a sneak peak into one of the chapters in the next Moody book....

[Jasmar]

Is thee a thread for the Kleins? After seeing the photo of that wedding dress I had to visit their site. I don't think I've ever read on a funny family blog before, aside from a few looks at photos posted here. It was so depressing.

The couple does look happy, and it hope they are, but the whole thing is just too depressing.

On he snarky side, it's a dreadful shame that their version of religion doesn't permit a woman to teach a man, because reading their wedding day testimony, she has a far better grasp on the proper use of object pronouns than he does.

[Coco]

Can you tell me what denomination they might be? They say not Mormon, Catholic, Amish or Mennonite.

When I was a kid, there were some "Fire Baptised Holiness" church members who dressed sort of like this, only more fashionable, really. I am just curious.

not sure exactly but seems like this:

google image search

http://www.charitychristianfellowship.o ... n-of-faith

well, that's what we were anyway and they seem very similar... a lot of the "congregations" home church in less-fundie areas. In places with a lot of Anabaptists like PA and OH they'll have actual churches since there are enough members leaving strict Mennonite or Amish beliefs to support a church building. But there are too many varied personal interpretations of it to really label it as anything... Very loosely it could be called Anabaptist with more missions focus and a little bit more Pentecostal emotional flair. Some of the YBS altar calls could last for 30 minutes.

[thoughtful]

Is thee a thread for the Kleins?

A search brought these up -- none recent.

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=4486

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=13130&start=20

viewtopic.php?f=8&t=13975

[FloraDoraDolly]

Hiking a mountain you've already hiked before and feeding chipmunks= one boring vacation.

Re: The Kleins. They used to turn up on Rebecca K's blog from time to time, but not lately. One of the daughters illustrated some of the Moody books. I *think* her name is Abby, but I could be wrong. So many fundie families have daughters named Abby, Anna, Hannah, Susanna, Elizabeth, and Rebecca that it's hard to keep them all straight.