Now back to your regularly scheduled Alexanders...

[ViolaSebastian]

We wanted them to not care about keeping up with the Jones' and material wealth.

And you taught them that by making them drive a gold Mercedes? :roll:

[salex]

But, see. Ken's daughter was married at a public golf course/clubhouse, not a country club. The Joneses would never sink so low. And, Ken apparently offices in his house... (I wonder how that works with "the boys" working for him?

And, maybe the nanny was not live in-- do we know? She may really have just been a glorified baby sitter!!! (The Joneses would never call their sitter a nanny, now would they?)

I'd say the one thing that I would say the Alexanders do that most of the Joneses wouldn't ever do is air their dirty laundry about their marital woes, nasty feelings about one another, wretched sex lives, etc online on the web.

Lori may not be keeping up with the Joneses, but she is almost keeping up with the kardashians.... no sex tape, but plenty of descriptions.

[browngrl]

Honestly what is so very wrong if a woman goes out and gets an education/experience that allows her to have a well paying job that not only allows her to cover the necessities by also many luxuries? That is what my sisters and I did and that is what my mother and grandmothers would have done had they the chance. I'll bet that lots of women - now and and in the past would have jumped at the chance to do the same had they the opportunity.

AND I don't think there is anything wrong with this. I can not understand why any woman would want to worship a god that would take away a woman's right to choose what course she wanted her life to go.

The life that Lori would foist on all women is so very small because it robs a woman of choice. It might suit some women but for me (and I suspect many others) it feels like prison.

[lilwriter85]

Today's posting

My mom married my dad when she was 21 years old. Shortly after I was born, she had to leave her home and family to move to California where my dad was in medical school. She raised all three of us without any family or help from my dad. I have heard her admit how difficult it was to leave her family but I never heard her complain about my dad not helping her with the home or children.

We have a ton of appliances and items that make being a homemaker so much easier than women did many years ago. We have dishwashers, ovens, running water, hot water, vacuums, iron, electricity, lights, etc. that women of long ago didn't have. My mom had all of these modern conveniences and was very thankful. What has happened to women today?

I expected Ken to help me around the house and was often mad at him if he didn't. He was working and traveling many hours and days a year to make a living for our family and I still expected more from him. Why is that? How come we expect so much more from our husbands than our mothers and grandmothers did?

I believe it is the feminist movement that has tried to convince us that male and female roles are the same. Women should help be providers and men should help being keepers at home. Many women were convinced that working outside the home is more fulfilling, so they left the home and expected their husbands to help pick up the slack of being gone from the home so many hours a day.

God specifically commanded women to be keepers at home and to guide the home. Men are to be the protectors and providers of the home. This is His ideal situation. We must strive towards His ideal because His ways are always best. Yes, the years when the children are young are long and difficult, but God always seems to give us the strength we need for each day and what He has called for us to do.

Now, like I have said before, if your husband helps around the home and with the children, GREAT! If not, love, serve, and please him any ways and thank him consistently for working so hard for you and your children. They have to work for many more years than you have to be a mother with children at home. The early years pass quickly and children want and need a peaceful home where mom and dad love each other deeply. Work hard giving this to them and be content with your ministry in the home. It is your high calling from God.

She annoys me as usual. Lori, has it ever occurred to you that some women are fulfilled to work outside the home in various jobs and careers and maybe they and their husbands work as a team to pick up the slack.

[polecat]

Today's posting

Oh, Lori, come on. If your husband doesn't "help" with the kids (or, as most people call it, PARENT the kids), then he's a shitty excuse for a father.

I work full time. I'm lucky enough to be able to work from home, and because of that, I tend to take on most of the housekeeping responsibilities (and I do almost all of the cooking because I can cook and enjoy it and because my husband canNOT cook a bit). But my husband takes that burden from me on the weekends because he's off, and I work all weekend long. We are a team, and we work TOGETHER to keep this family going. Oh, and we don't have a dishwasher, either. :P

[Koala]

Dear Lori,

My husband is off running Saturday errands with our son (we're one of those evil 2 car families your mama warned you about :roll: ). I am about to go run errands with our daughter (we're getting ready to leave for the beach, so we split up to get things done faster). In a few hours we will switch up so each kid gets time with each of us. He cooked breakfast, so I'll take care of lunch and we'll do dinner together.

I am truly sorry if your kids had a shitty mom who delighted in hitting them and a father who would rather play basketball than be a dad, but please don't try to pass it off as okay or normal. The rest of us have no desire to be miserable, bitter, hateful hags with nothing better to do than sit on the computer all day telling other women how to do all the things we never did.

ps. Everyone knows you had a nanny and required your kids to spend at least 2 hours a day locked in their rooms so you didn't have to take care of them. Everyone knows you let your babies CIO from three weeks on. Don't talk to me about mothering.

[nokidsmom]

Dear Lori,

My husband is off running Saturday errands with our son (we're one of those evil 2 car families your mama warned you about :roll: ). I am about to go run errands with our daughter (we're getting ready to leave for the beach, so we split up to get things done faster). In a few hours we will switch up so each kid gets time with each of us. He cooked breakfast, so I'll take care of lunch and we'll do dinner together.

I am truly sorry if your kids had a shitty mom who delighted in hitting them and a father who would rather play basketball than be a dad, but please don't try to pass it off as okay or normal. The rest of us have no desire to be miserable, bitter, hateful hags with nothing better to do than sit on the computer all day telling other women how to do all the things we never did.

ps. Everyone knows you had a nanny and required your kids to spend at least 2 hours a day locked in their rooms so you didn't have to take care of them. Everyone knows you let your babies CIO from three weeks on. Don't talk to me about mothering.

Even with our ebil childless household, Mr. No made breakfast, and now he's off to errands while I take care of some things at home, finishing laundry and cooking up lunch. Yeah we are one of those ebil two car families, and yes, I call ourselves a family even if it's just the two of us. Take that, Lori.

[jerkit]

Oh look Lori! I have a peaceful home where man and wife deeply love each other and we share household responsibilities! Today I did mean planning and grocery shopping and I'm doing laundry. Tomorrow Mr. Jerkit will clean our apartment and next week he will cook most of the meals I planned and shopped for. And no one is nagging or yelling or disappointed. Ugggghhh.

[polecat]

Oh look Lori! I have a peaceful home where man and wife deeply love each other and we share household responsibilities! Today I did mean planning and grocery shopping and I'm doing laundry. Tomorrow Mr. Jerkit will clean our apartment and next week he will cook most of the meals I planned and shopped for. And no one is nagging or yelling or disappointed. Ugggghhh.

No back rubs for you!!!

[usmcmom]

I'm waiting for Ken to comment and advise her readers on how to get their husbands to "help" with the kids. "Ladies, if you want your husbands to help with the kids, I'd suggest some negotiating. In exchange for him giving the kids their baths, maybe you could give him a backrub, make his favorite meal or promise him the best sex ever for ten nights in a row. Or ask him to commit to bathing the kids every day for a week. If he fails to do this make that one strike. Google it.... 98% of men who bathe their kids WANT SEX EVERY NIGHT."

[jerkit]

No back rubs for you!!!

That's what I have a chiropractor for :P

[polecat]

I'm waiting for Ken to comment and advise her readers on how to get their husbands to "help" with the kids. "Ladies, if you want your husbands to help with the kids, I'd suggest some negotiating. In exchange for him giving the kids their baths, maybe you could give him a backrub, make his favorite meal or promise him the best sex ever for ten nights in a row. Or ask him to commit to bathing the kids every day for a week. If he fails to do this make that one strike. Google it.... 98% of men who bathe their kids WANT SEX EVERY NIGHT."

Hey Ken, know what? My husband would stay awake at night to hold our colicky baby (flat on his tummy over his forearm) so that I, the baby's only source of nourishment, could get some sleep in between the every-90-minute feedings. Oh, you know what else my husband did? He changed diapers. And not just any old diapers. He changed cloth diapers. Because my husband has mad parenting skills. I didn't have to bribe him with *anything* to get him to do it. He did it because he thought the babies were awesome. Well, and because he's a decent human being.

I don't get the sense that Lorken enjoyed any part of parenting. Maybe that's because they were too obsessed with sniping at one another to even notice their kids unless the kids became riotous. I have moments of pity for these two people who have squandered nearly a lifetime with someone they not only do not love but actively dislike. I feel sorry that they found no joy in parenting. But then I remember that Lori is proud of the fact that her kids feared her and that Ken insists that women have sex with their husbands even if it is physically painful. That sobers me right up. No more pity.

[Tiger Lily]

Today's posting

She annoys me as usual. Lori, has it ever occurred to you that some women are fulfilled to work outside the home in various jobs and careers and maybe they and their husbands work as a team to pick up the slack.

Better post this before it disappears:

And what if I'm working full time, leaving home at 6:45 am coming home at 9 pm? I have double salary comparing to my husband. He is not happy with my late returns home, but at the same time, he doesn't want me to change the job. I suggested I find something not so demanding for less money, and he completely refused. He wants both the money and clean home and warm supper. No idea how should I achieve that.

Terry

[feministxtian]

Her passive-aggressive crap is getting ridiculous. I'm coming to believe she's posting this shit to try to justify her way of life.

Here...well...the total opposite of what Lori claims is the "biblical standard"...my dh is at home, i'm working. Hopefully that will change as he is ready to go back to work after being on disability for almost 3 years. We BOTH have a job interview next week (we do the same thing and this is the same company) and are hoping that we both get hired. That would be friggin awesome!

And...if we both get hired...we would have a combined 6 figure salary...and yes, I plan on enjoying the hell out of it!

[salex]

My mom married my dad when she was 21 years old. Shortly after I was born, she had to leave her home and family to move to California where my dad was in medical school. She raised all three of us without any family or help from my dad. I have heard her admit how difficult it was to leave her family but I never heard her complain about my dad not helping her with the home or children.

OK, so mom didn't have baby sitters or a housekeeper, ever? I'm thinking Lori's about my age, and the doctor's wives I knew had household help (yard and house). Shoot, some had full time housekeepers. Not to mention, don't kid me-- you mom had dishwashers, ovens, running water, etc when you were a kid, Lori, as did mine even out on the farm, LOL!

We have a ton of appliances and items that make being a homemaker so much easier than women did many years ago. We have dishwashers, ovens, running water, hot water, vacuums, iron, electricity, lights, etc. that women of long ago didn't have. My mom had all of these modern conveniences and was very thankful. What has happened to women today?

What the fuck are you rambling about, Lori? And, by the way, my grandmothers had electricity, vacuums, irons, etc, and even my great grandmother, once she moved to a city. Women my grandmother's age had household help of various kinds, as well, their children and yes, their husbands, if not hired help.

I expected Ken to help me around the house and was often mad at him if he didn't. He was working and ?traveling many hours and days a year to make a living for our family and I still expected more from him. Why is that? How come we expect so much more from our husbands than our mothers and grandmothers did?

Well, Ken acknowledged you and he had shitty premarital counseling and apparently zero communication skills before and since your marriage, so maybe neither of you knew what the other expected. I only knew my husband ~8 months before we married, and we knew one another's expectations for doing chores around the house, working, etc. It helped that I didn't marry an asshole and he didn't marry a bitch, too.

I believe it is the feminist movement that has tried to convince us that male and female roles are the same. Women should help be providers and men should help being keepers at home. Many women were convinced that working outside the home is more fulfilling, so they left the home and expected their husbands to help pick up the slack of being gone from the home so many hours a day.

What a load of shit. First off, real couples,( ie NOT YOU AND KEN) , discuss what they want out of life as part of the decision process before they marry. Smart couples (ie, NOT YOU AND KEN) find people to marry who share common goals, desires and expectations in life, and thus don't have housework battles. Additionally, if 2 incomes take so much time that the family can't manage the household tasks, people can hire housekeepers on any number of schedules... as you hired a nanny to manage your children, despite being a Stay at home "mom".

God specifically commanded women to be keepers at home and to guide the home. Men are to be the protectors and providers of the home. This is His ideal situation. We must strive towards His ideal because His ways are always best. Yes, the years when the children are young are long and difficult, but God always seems to give us the strength we need for each day and what He has called for us to do.

As you pointed out, modern conveniences mean that keeping a house clean, people fed etc is not always full time job (unless you stretch it to be). I"m sorry you think being home with your children was long and difficult... my mother and a lot of my friends view the "station wagon" or "mini van" years as among the happiest in their lives. Keep Titus 2, I'll be a Proverbs woman, thank you very much. And, in reality, my husband does sit at the gate and praise me while Ken spends his time telling people that at least you are better than you used to be. Also, Lori, if you believe women should not work, quit your "ministry" and kill your blog. I'm sure it takes time away from keeping your home and guiding it! Quit being a hypocrite.

Now, like I have said before, if your husband helps around the home and with the children, GREAT! If not, love, serve, and please him any ways and thank him consistently for working so hard for you and your children. They have to work for many more years than you have to be a mother with children at home. The early years pass quickly and children want and need a peaceful home where mom and dad love each other deeply. Work hard giving this to them and be content with your ministry in the home. It is your high calling from God.

Easy for you to say now, given both you and Ken describe the years you had little kids as anything but what you are suggesting. Again with the do as I say, not as I do.

So much the same shit different day, Lori.

I would pity you and used to pity Ken, but you both wallow in it so-- enjoy reliving your misery.

[salex]

And what if I'm working full time, leaving home at 6:45 am coming home at 9 pm? I have double salary comparing to my husband. He is not happy with my late returns home, but at the same time, he doesn't want me to change the job. I suggested I find something not so demanding for less money, and he completely refused. He wants both the money and clean home and warm supper. No idea how should I achieve that.

Terry

[Curious]

I don't get why you would have kids with a man that didn't want kids.

Everyone remain seated because I'm going to say something shocking. Lori will need smelling salts after this one. I have 2 kids, by 2 different fathers :shock: I was married to one of them and in a long term relationship with the other (we basically just never got around to getting married). Anyway, both of them loved their kids and from the time they were born wanted to spend time with them and help take care of them. In fact, with my second baby, I had to almost fight his father to get to hold him sometimes ;)

I have known a lot of people that have had babies and all the men have been very involved in the parenting of the children. There are fathers on my husband's softball team that bring the kids to games if their wives are busy or need a day off or whatever and the other men, who are mostly also fathers, all have a great time with the kids. Even if the mom brings the kids out to watch dad, the majority of the men on the team has fun with the kids.

I don't understand how you have kids and not want to be involved with their lives other than to hit them or break their tiny spirits :( It's not a very nice way to treat something that is supposed to be a blessing from God.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I don't get why you would have kids with a man that didn't want kids.

Everyone remain seated because I'm going to say something shocking. Lori will need smelling salts after this one. I have 2 kids, by 2 different fathers :shock: I was married to one of them and in a long term relationship with the other (we basically just never got around to getting married). Anyway, both of them loved their kids and from the time they were born wanted to spend time with them and help take care of them. In fact, with my second baby, I had to almost fight his father to get to hold him sometimes ;)

I have known a lot of people that have had babies and all the men have been very involved in the parenting of the children. There are fathers on my husband's softball team that bring the kids to games if their wives are busy or need a day off or whatever and the other men, who are mostly also fathers, all have a great time with the kids. Even if the mom brings the kids out to watch dad, the majority of the men on the team has fun with the kids.

I don't understand how you have kids and not want to be involved with their lives other than to hit them or break their tiny spirits :( It's not a very nice way to treat something that is supposed to be a blessing from God.

Agreed.

To me, raising your kids is a separate category from housework.

Yes, some basic hygiene is needed, but it doesn't matter who washes dishes or scrubs toilets. It can be me, it can be my husband, it can be someone that we pay.

Kids, though, are something else. We were both desperate to have our kids, and cherish our time with them. Yes, in the early days when I was home and my husband was working long hours, I ended up doing more - but when he was home, he was with the kids. He took off as much time as he possibly could. The sort of language that Lori and Ken use to talk about fathers, with this idea that babies are a chore and mothers need to stop nagging fathers to "help with the kid", seems bizarre. It's a mindset that I might expect from an immature and selfish teen, but not from a religious married couple that profess to believe in "family values".

[salex]

A question for LorKen. She is on a kick about how women can't be keepers and guides to their household if they are outside the house working. And, that steps on Men's Toes by bringing in money when men are to be the protectors and providers of the home.

IF a woman can't keep and guide while outside the house, how can men protect while outside the house? How does flying around the country for work keep the household and womenfolk protected, while a woman working 6 blocks away means she isn't guiding her house.

So, Ken, to really protect your wife, you need to always take her on your business trips, or simply stop traveling for work. OF course, the boys can't travel either, or their household would be unprotected.

[crawfishgirl]

Lori has a link to her son's wedding video on her blog today - vimeo.com/103655856

It was a large event - there were 10 bridesmaids. I've been to the church where the wedding was held, but it was only once many years ago. The reception was held at a country club that isn't too far from my house - too bad I didn't run into them this weekend.

[EmiGirl]

According to Lori I'm horrible because I kept my maiden name.

[Firiel]

Lori has a link to her son's wedding video on her blog today - vimeo.com/103655856

It was a large event - there were 10 bridesmaids. I've been to the church where the wedding was held, but it was only once many years ago. The reception was held at a country club that isn't too far from my house - too bad I didn't run into them this weekend.

Oh my gosh, you recognized the location because you'd been there before?!

STALKER.

And hey, let's throw in slander in there too, just because they always do.

;)

[jerkit]

OMG, talk about making a mountain of a molehill. Lori, no one cares what your DIL's name is.

[formergothardite]

If you just looked at that video you would never guess Lori tells women to suffer through physical and emotional abuse and Ken thinks men should be able to grab their wives, push them against the wall and restrain them there as punishment.

[Tiger Lily]

A question for LorKen. She is on a kick about how women can't be keepers and guides to their household if they are outside the house working. And, that steps on Men's Toes by bringing in money when men are to be the protectors and providers of the home.

IF a woman can't keep and guide while outside the house, how can men protect while outside the house? How does flying around the country for work keep the household and womenfolk protected, while a woman working 6 blocks away means she isn't guiding her house.

So, Ken, to really protect your wife, you need to always take her on your business trips, or simply stop traveling for work. OF course, the boys can't travel either, or their household would be unprotected.

VERY good questions. Then again, you know these types. The situation is always different for the men while for the women, the Bible must be taken literally (submission in everything, no speaking in church, headcoverings, must stay at home, be fruitful and multiply a LOT).