The one where Cabinetboy starts a blog

[Firiel]

Ken

JULY 22, 2014 AT 4:40 PM

What might be fruitful is to reengage with an attempted conversation with this group of die hard antagonists, but last time they sucked so much time and emotional energy from me that I don’t know I am recharged enough to do so. We would need top tag team in doing it :). Most of them are not bad people, but they have such a strong contrary world view, especially when it comes to marriage and feminism, and then they too often get mean about it.

None of us like dealing with mean people. Every once in a while one of the group will police another when they are just mean for means sake, but that is rare as they do not want to be the next target of the meanness. Instead they often pile on.and it becomes like telephone time with one mischaracterization leading to another.

It seems a little evil to me when mean people excuse their meanness because they are hiding behind a moniker and a blog that protects its 5th amendment rights by saying that what is written is intended for humor, when it clearly is not, No, what we have here is diametrically opposing world views, and you and I have no intention of being mean to those who disagree with us, or threatening them, or their livelihood. But these radicals have lost a sense of what it means to be an American living in a melting pot of ideas and ideals. They want their thinking self imposed on us and others, instead of battling for the rights of all Americans to speak freely and allow the market place of ideas to persuade others; instead of using character assassinations, foul language and artful mischaracterizations.

There is no doubt that it is easy for someone to take a few things we write and throw stones, especially with the volume of works you, Lori and I have created. But if they really want to be fair, they must look at our hearts, and perhaps more so at our results. “By their fruit you will know them.†You are some years behind us in raising a family, but either these blind squirrels caught four godly kids, or we did something right, along with the hundreds of marriages all telling us they too have found a better way, doing things God’s ways. His ways may be tough at times, but they are never mean or low hitting.

Hang in there. Now it is my time to remind you about women. You know their bark is far louder than their bite :). Don’t let their barking scare you or drag you down. Reread each post each day and ask yourself is it honoring to God, without being mean to my adversaries. Then hit the publish button and allow the Lord to be your Defender.

Actually, I thought we were pretty nice to him when he came here, especially at first. Some people popped in simply to contribute a general insult (not dissing that approach), but generally we were very nice and very patient. We really didn't start collectively mocking him until he said some ridiculous things here, like getting all offended that we were quoting things he said previously.

As for the bolded, where was that attitude when parents here were asking about how they had managed to raise well-adjusted, kind (and in some cases, Christian) children without spanking them? If we are measuring by fruit, I'm a pretty awesome Christian and not a heathen 'cause I volunteer and donate money and go to church and shit.

A quote from the Cabinetpost in question:

“I’m not going to say you aren’t a strong personality. I mean every room you walk into you’re in charge of it, doesn’t matter where we go. But you aren’t selfish or mean.â€

He sure wasn't in charge here...

Also...

I admit, not one of my finest alpha moments. But if I’m anything here, I’m real. Warts and all you see.

I like how questioning his motives and being introspective is the warty part of himself. I consider moments where I question my worldview even when it's difficult or painful to do so to be moments of strength and clarity.

[Loveday]

Ken's encouraging him to return to FJ with him, in tag team fashion, to have another go at us. I'm shaking, I tell you. Shaking!!

Oh, and we're meanies, and some of us join in so we don't become the target of meanies too.

Gosh, if I felt bullied, Ken, I'd just leave, and I bet most other FJers feel the same. We intelligently think for ourselves, despite the fact that many of us have vaginas, and aren't easily led. We have open and civil disagreements and come away the better for being exposed to ideas, whether we agree with them or not. And I don't see a lot of husbands chiming in to back up our statements. We can stand on our own, something Lori obviously can't do, despite her claims that she has the power of the Bible behind her.

Please, Ken and Cupboard Boy, please, please, PLEASE come back. :pray: You two are just the entertainment I need right now. :dance:

[ThisOlGirl]

Cabinet Boy can come back and write all the walls o' texts he wants, and try to debate all he wants. I only care about one thing:

BULL RASSLIN'

[jerkit]

Ken please return and tell me why I've been banned from Lori's blog.

[usmcmom]

That exchange between Ken and Cabinet Man...? :roll: :roll:

When my daughter was in sixth and seventh grade, she and her two friends kept a joint journal. They'd each keep it for a couple days, write the thoughts they wished to share, then pass it around. If I had ever read those words, I wonder if I'd have seen something like Ken and Cabinet Man's angst.

But what really bothers me is their stance that ALL OF US who disagree with them are simply not Christian. We have told them repeatedly that there are many Christians on FJ. They are of the belief that if you don't interpret scripture exactly as they do...NOT CHRISTIAN.

Just as a reminder: Um...Gentlemen? Some of us are Christian and find your views so offensive, so twisted that we finally had to speak out against men like you who are representing our faith in such a horrid manner.

Plus, I like sarcasm.

[feministxtian]

My bark is worse than my bite? Might want to ask my husband about that after his most recent run-in with law enforcement after thinking he could do whatever he damn well pleased and tore up my house because he was pissed....

[jerkit]

But what really bothers me is their stance that ALL OF US who disagree with them are simply not Christian. We have told them repeatedly that there are many Christians on FJ. They are of the belief that if you don't interpret scripture exactly as they do...NOT CHRISTIAN.

Plus, I like sarcasm.

I find this more offensive than anything else they've ever said. Also, that I "hate the word of God"

[Firiel]

I find this more offensive than anything else they've ever said. Also, that I "hate the word of God"

Have we ever cornered them into answering whether they think we Christian FJers are actually Christians or if we are going to hell? They seem to like to avoid that particular question...

[jerkit]

Have we ever cornered them into answering whether they think we Christian FJers are actually Christians or if we are going to hell? They seem to like to avoid that particular question...

I think that was asked multiple times when ken was here and he ignored it every time.

[polecat]

Have we ever cornered them into answering whether they think we Christian FJers are actually Christians or if we are going to hell? They seem to like to avoid that particular question...

Because at the end of the day, Lorken's opinion really doesn't matter. God doesn't ask Lorken what he/she thinks about my Christianity. He looks right into my heart. Of course, that works the other way, too. God sees straight past Lorken's self-righteous exteriors and pious proclamations and directly into their hearts.

[jerkit]

Because at the end of the day, Lorken's opinion really doesn't matter. God doesn't ask Lorken what he/she thinks about my Christianity. He looks right into my heart. Of course, that works the other way, too. God sees straight past Lorken's self-righteous exteriors and pious proclamations and directly into their hearts.

But according to Lorken, Lorken's opinion = God's opinion because Bible.

[littlemommy]

Cabinetboy, why don't you talk to us directly? All this passive aggression is so unseemly in a man's man. You and Ken remind me of a pair of "mean girls". ;)

From today's salvo, or "post":

Our home this morning is filled with laughter! Your comments to yesterday’s post and the feminists responses to it has my wife in a laughter fit this morning! I’ve never seen someone have so much fun cooking pancakes!

So Mrs. Cabinetperson reads here? Welcome! Get yourself an account while he is cabineting. Don't out yourself, join as a new member and have some fun. :)

[polecat]

But according to Lorken, Lorken's opinion = God's opinion because Bible.

That's true. I forgot that Lorken = God.

[Coco]

snip

Edited to add the comment for everyone to read:

Source: amanhiswifethebible.wordpress.com/2014/07/22/abuser/#comments

This sounds like projection. Really, which group are the radicals that have lost a sense of what it means to be Americans living in a melting pot of ideas? Which group is allowing persuasive free speech? And which group deletes or ignores difficult comments? I don't think it's our group imposing a narrow mindset on theirs. :lol:

And in the second paragraph of his quote, that's exactly what we ARE doing - honestly looking at the results.

If they can't acknowledge that equal marriages certainly can honor Christ, where both partners share authority in their God-given areas of excellence; and that child training without corporal punishment can produce respectful God-fearing children, then they are the ones ignoring results.

[Nettie]

Ken also seemed to have difficulty grasping (despite being told numerous times) that not all FJs are Americans. And that this this a forum and not a blog.

[Loveday]

Their 'volume of works?' Who the hell do these people think they are, Shakespeare?

[usmcmom]

The conversation with his wife was just so disturbing. Of course, an abuse victim is going to tell her abuser she's happy. I'm sure she's learned what happens when she says otherwise. It's off to confinement at the cabin wit her!! IF that conversation even took place, there's no way for us to know the context in which he "questioned" his wife.

My mother was verbally abusive. She left emotional scars on all of us. Yet even today, when she asks "You kids had a good childhood, right?" we always say, "Yeah, Mom. We had a fine childhood." Because, why poke the bear? This is coming from four 50-ish adults who live out of her home now. Just what is the victim of abuse who is still under the same roof supposed to say?

By the way, has Cabinet Man shared with his blog readers the story of isolating his suicidal wife in a cabin? I haven't read through it all yet to know if he's giving them the whole story of just what a godly leader he is.

[usmcmom]

The conversation with his wife was just so disturbing. Of course, an abuse victim is going to tell her abuser she's happy. I'm sure she's learned what happens when she says otherwise. It's off to confinement at the cabin wit her!! IF that conversation even took place, there's no way for us to know the context in which he "questioned" his wife.

My mother was verbally abusive. She left emotional scars on all of us. Yet even today, when she asks "You kids had a good childhood, right?" we always say, "Yeah, Mom. We had a fine childhood." Because, why poke the bear? This is coming from four 50-ish adults who live out of her home now. Just what is the victim of abuse who is still under the same roof supposed to say?

By the way, has Cabinet Man shared with his blog readers the story of isolating his suicidal wife in a cabin? I haven't read through it all yet to know if he's giving them the whole story of just what a godly leader he is.

[Grimalkin]

I don't think mean was used enough. Mean people are mean. Cabinet Boy get a thesaurus please!

[Firiel]

I would love it if Cabinetlady came here as a new member without outing herself! I think she would learn a lot, even if she likely didn't agree with a lot of it.

On another note, I feel like we should come up with a nickname for Cabinetlady that doesn't involve her being identified solely in relation to the identity of her husband, but I'm not sure how to do that because we are familiar with her primarily in relation to Wardrobe Wanker...

[Tiger Lily]

Of all the fundie blogs I follow (and there are only about 4 or 5), Cabinet Man actually scares me. As someone else mentioned above, his blog seems to be a journal of abuse. HIs secretive nature, his pleadings that we not look for him or send the police after him...it's all just so telling. I get physically uncomfortable reading his blog. I just keep thinking of the fear in which his wife must live - the physical abuse, the emotional abuse. I find myself worrying about his children. He clearly is a delusional and threatening man and I have no doubt that his family is in danger.

Did anybody else read his recent post in which he asked his readers for suggestions on making his blog more visitor friendly? That was some bizarre reading.

I totally agree. I've gotten an abuser vibe from him from the beginning and have worried about those kids especially.

BTW, this is my first post here. I found Cabinetman through another blog where he caused an uproar with his comments. They were so bad that all his entries were removed. I was curious what he could have said that was so bad and went to his site. Through his site, I found Lori/Ken's blog (what a weird couple!). When they all complained of online "persecution," I knew there were people online discussing them and I Googled him and voila, I'm here!

Re: Cabinetman himself, let's just say that I'm not impressed. I immediately noticed how arrogant he is and his know-it-all attitude. His tone is very offensive and it seems clear to me that he just doesn't value women (except for mainly sex and providing children). He will argue with anyone and let them know they're wrong (because after all, they must be wrong if he's right). I found the subtle digs at his wife to be nauseating. For example, when he referred to their roles, hers was to provide sex whenever he wanted it. Not companionship or love. Sex was most important to him. That's what he listed first. And that's not the first time he has put it that way either. Another time he was talking about attraction to one's spouse and he waxed on about how attractive he was before marriage (in the top 20%, woo hoo!) and could have had other women who showed interest yet he chose his wife who was less attractive (in the bottom 60%, I believe) yet he liked her spunk and chose her! What kind of "real man" embarrasses his wife on the Internet, I ask you? Oh, and everything is always about him -- so much so that when he wrote one day of keeping humble, I laughed out loud. I missed what was said about him isolating his wife in a cabin (???), however, from what I've read so far, this man is disturbing. In addition, he's paranoid. He mentioned once on his blog that he'd been threatened by one of his haters online telling him that he couldn't outrun a bullet yet when I read another thread on FJ, it was clearly not a threat. The comment was in reference to his size and strength (you know, where he bragged about how big and strong he is and wrestled with a bull). He also doesn't value education for his children and mentioned somewhere (it may have been on Lori's blog because I did search that place) that it would be a waste of money to educate his daughter since she'll be marrying young (17 or 18) if he has his way. To be fair, he did say that his children could decide for themselves yet we all know how that goes. If children aren't encouraged or given other options or allowed to dream, they may not follow their dreams. And I can't see CM paying for any of his daughter's education.

It's all just so sad and disturbing. Worse, he married the wife when she was 18 or so. I'm not sure what skills she has although he has said that he doesn't want her to work and devote all of her energies to her job (rather than to him). So I can't see her breaking free from this even if she wanted to. She may not want to. I can't imagine my thought processes after living with this man for over 15 years!

[Tiger Lily]

I haven't bothered going to this loser's blog. He's not worth my time. I'm content to know that I'm obviously much happier with my life as evidenced by the fact that I don't have to put down others to feel important or worthy. I truly think Cabinet Man has low self-esteem. Why else would he feel the need to berate and belittle his wife (and other women). If he was secure in himself, others' accomplishments, happiness, and sense of worth would not cause him such grief and anger.

See, this is what I was thinking too. I think he feels threatened by those who are educated (especially women who are educated) and I wonder if this is why he feels a need to bring a certain popular female blogger "to repentence" for her wayward ways.

[Firiel]

Welcome to Free Jinger, Tiger Lily!

The locking his wife in a cabin thing was originally on Lori's blog, I think (others correct me if I'm wrong). I also think it has since been removed. But there might be evidence of it here somewhere still. Not sure if we have it quoted or just talked about it.

EDIT: Here's the original cabin post; it was on Lori's blog at one point.

There have been times where I have disciplined her by not allowing her to go out with the gals, not spending money on items except necessary food and clothing for the family, not attending women's bible study {believe it or not...unless you have the right church anymore some can push women further way from their husbands than closer to them}, there was even a few times she had to sleep on the couch, a couple times I made her sleep in the cabin on our property when she was downright in complete anarchy against our marriage, family and God's Word. She's had to clean the house as a punishment

So yes, it appears that you cut her off from friends, money, going to church and secluded her in a cabin in the woods. What does complete anarchy against your marriage mean? To me it means she wanted out and you MADE her go to a cabin in the woods against her will. You punished her as if she was a small child by forcing her to clean the house. That is bizarre.

But still to this day I structure her life and keep it low key. She doesn't do a lot outside the home. She homeschools and bakes from scratch and takes care of the home. I don't do this because I'm mean. I do this because very quickly she will become overwhelmed, depressed and exhausted and she knows it now

For years I was accused of being an abuser and got sideways looks even from family and those in church.

My point is this ladies, at the moment of discipline, you can have the most wonderful loving parent, God or husband in the world but in that moment, it's going to seem awful. My wife thought I was. It didn't matter how many times I told her I loved her, how tender I was, how wonderful of a father I was, how hard I worked...nothing worked because I would not let her go her own way {a way I knew was not right and was rebellion}.

[feministxtian]

wardrobewierdo spends so much time talking about what a man he is that I've gathered some conclusions...

He's probably maybe 5'6" and 130lbs soaking wet

He suffers from an extreme lack in the penis department

He talks shit because he feels inferior to most men and all educated women

He may also be in the back of that wardrobe looking for the door to Narnia.

[Firiel]

wardrobewierdo spends so much time talking about what a man he is that I've gathered some conclusions...

He's probably maybe 5'6" and 130lbs soaking wet

He suffers from an extreme lack in the penis department

He talks shit because he feels inferior to most men and all educated women

He may also be in the back of that wardrobe looking for the door to Narnia.

I was telling the boyfriend about Cabinetman and he asked if he got that nickname because he was stuck in the closet. :)