Another one bites the dust- Daniel Lockwood MERGE

[FundieWatcher]

If the church really wants to help, they will get him some vocational training.

Here is a simple plan: You can train to be a Plumber in under a year, and they make an average of 52K/year. He should get financial aid. While he is training they can apply for government help and the church can pitch in for housing and transportation. He won't start out at 52k, but he should be in the 40s. Things will still be tight, but it will keep a roof over their heads. They can get food stamps and medicaid. Clothes shouldn't be a problem to get in donations. This a simple plan. And it would keep them on their feet. Will they do something like this? Probably don't. They might have to beg for everything they get from here on out.

[FloraDoraDolly]

Those poor children! Aren't there any extended family members who can go down there and get them?

[WonderingInWA]

The older boys can postpone Bible college and mow lawns (you know, back in the US where we have lawns). The girls can babysit and become mother's helpers. Jaynee could study for a teaching certificate. Daniel could go back into the grocery business. There are lots of opportunities for them to make money if they just step out of the ministry box.

[tkr322]

I think one of the reasons Jaynee could never (or would never want to) leave is because she has 12!!! Children. I think it's hard enough for single moms of 1,2 or 3 children. I honestly bet she feels there is no way she'd ever be able to provide for all of them by herself.

[jenwales]

I have 5 cats. I could easily be the crazy cat lady with a dozen because I love them that much, but I'm afraid of who would care for them if something happened to my husband and me so we stopped at 5. Don't fundies think about those things? Duh, guess not. The Lord will take care of everything!

I feel sorry for Jaynee. Yes, she willingly submitted herself to Daniel but she has absolutely no sense of self. None. She is there only to serve God and Daniel, and by extension the children. She thinks she's happy because that's what she's supposed to be.

[debrand]

Thank you, Prevention. It sounds like you are worried and frustrated for Jaynee.

The kids range in age from 5-17. The couple have been married only 18 years. Jaynee spent the first part of her marriage either pregnant or recovering from pregnancy. She must have been exhausted. No wonder Daniel was able to get control of her. It is sad but once a woman gets sucked into the quiverfull mentality, the number of children she has would make it very difficult to leave.

[Cassia]

Her last blog post really struck a nerve with me, with her simpering "Forever. For always. No matter what."

That is a VERY dangerous thing to say, especially to a man who may or may not have been physically abusive to her throughout their relationship. She needs someone to give her a metaphorical shake and tell her to watch the f*ck what she's saying around her young, impressionable children, mostly her three daughters.

She is giving that con-artist-she-calls-a-husband an absolute free pass to do whatever the hell he wants to do, now with the guarantee that his beaten down little wifey will be smiling and waving at him from the front door whenever he decides to saunter home.

With that one sentence, she has basically told him that there is nothing he can do to make her think about leaving him.

Sexual infidelity? No problem Danny boy, you probably just had that pesky 18 year itch.

Thievery? Well, the money WAS just laying there in the field unattended... finders keepers, right?

Emotional browbeating? According to Jaynee, she doesn't deserve to be loved anyways, so this won't bother her none...

Domestic violence? Well, Jaynee may be trapped and utterly dependent on Daniel but she is always free to choose the option of LOVE (dripping with utter sarcasm here).

It must be difficult for her to consider leaving with 12 children but if she really wanted to, she would find aid. Daniel would be required to help pay for his children. And if she went public with this story, just imagine the support she would get through many churches. The headlines, "Mother of 12 while on a 7 year mission project to Mexico discovers that her husband is a lying, cheating, scum bag. Please help us help her get back on her feet."

[Evilbad]

I doubt it. These conservative churches generally blame the woman or ask what she did to make him stray. I doubt very much that she would have support from churches.

[browngrl]

...And if she went public with this story, just imagine the support she would get through many churches. The headlines, "Mother of 12 while on a 7 year mission project to Mexico discovers that her husband is a lying, cheating, scum bag. Please help us help her get back on her feet." Donations would POUR in for this poor woman!

I'm not so sure that donations would pour in. Fundies do seem to have a propensity to blame the woman. They talk about family stepping in to help widows but not so much about helping divorcees. I imagine that some fundies might help out - but a family of 12 children needs a tremendous amount of help and I doubt the aid from friends/family could be sustained. Sadly I think there will be a significant number of fundies who don't help and instead use this as fodder to show how much more godly they are or who blame her (either openly or in a passive aggressive sort of way). Just look how some fundies are treating Lourdes (the woman in the DP mess).

[Cassia]

That's the hypocrisy that's so hard for me to swallow - these Christian churches would turn their backs on a struggling woman trying to support a large family because they would rather blame HER for her husbands infidelity. That takes balls...

On the other hand, if Jaynee has truly been abused throughout the years, in whatever form it may have been, I do believe that there would be *others* who would be willing to help her. The non-fundies. You're right, donations would probably not pour in, but I have hope that some people somewhere would be willing to help out.

[salex]

I'm not so sure that donations would pour in. Fundies do seem to have a propensity to blame the woman. They talk about family stepping in to help widows but not so much about helping divorcees. I imagine that some fundies might help out - but a family of 12 children needs a tremendous amount of help and I doubt the aid from friends/family could be sustained. Sadly I think there will be a significant number of fundies who don't help and instead use this as fodder to show how much more godly they are or who blame her (either openly or in a passive aggressive sort of way). Just look how some fundies are treating Lourdes (the woman in the DP mess).

I think they are more likely to get money by her staying and riding the "forgiveness saved our marriage" train. Books, interviews, donations to their new ministry.... they would not be the first.

[theologygeek]

The older boys can postpone Bible college and mow lawns (you know, back in the US where we have lawns). The girls can babysit and become mother's helpers. Jaynee could study for a teaching certificate. Daniel could go back into the grocery business. There are lots of opportunities for them to make money if they just step out of the ministry box.

Ten bucks says he's going to start his own "ministry." That lazy ass won't get a job.

[Arete]

Ten bucks says he's going to start his own "ministry." That lazy ass won't get a job.

I'll take some of that action.

[WonderingInWA]

And...there are crickets on the Lockwood front.

They are seeking godly counsel.

Wonder how that's workin' for 'em?

[Howl]

Wondering the same thing myself. The Lockwood Family to Mexico blog has been silent since the always and forever post.

Wonder if the Lockwoods (J & D) are in the US trying to sort things out.

[Howl]

Still no update on the Lockwood's blog, although several commenters have recently request that she let them know what's going on.

[VaSportsMom]

Sorry, dog managed to hit something and post.

[tkr322]

So what do we all think of the newest post? Dad Lockwood is left out of any photos (I'm sure on purpose) and only a brief mention of prayers for the healing of their marriage. Did anyone ever find out what really happened?

[Jana814]

Saw the post. Agree interesting that her husband was not in any pictures.

[sadie673]

Nothing's been confirmed. We can only speculate that there was some sort of infidelity...

I feel so bad for jaynee and especially for the children. What a selfish man.

[Jana814]

Nothing's been confirmed. We can only speculate that there was some sort of infidelity...

I feel so bad for jaynee and especially for the children. What a selfish man.

I also feel bad for Jaymee & the kids. It's going to be a hard adjustment for those kids.

[hoipolloi]

Please continue to pray for our family.

For safety as we travel the rest of the way back home the next couple days.

For the Lord's provision. Than Daniel can find a job soon.

For healing for our marriage.

For the children as they transition to a new culture as they miss their Mexico so much.

Praising the Lord we found a home to rent.

God is so faithful and so very good!

[emphasis added]

Re: bolded. Sure sounds like Dan was up to something.

[DaffyDill]

There's quite a long discussion on the Lockwoods and their move here: viewtopic.php?f=8&t=21626

He had what he and the church have termed "a moral failure". Personally, I would bet on it being an affair, but I'm not sure if either he or Jaynee ever specified what happened.

[WonderingInWA]

Yes, she's updated their blog with photos of the friends they are leaving behind, a last trip to their little local store, things they will miss. They are traveling the next few days. She wants prayers, among them for healing of their marriage and also that Daniel will find a job. Personally, I hope he finds several jobs so he'll be so exhausted he won't have time to take his pants off. I'm sure he was having an affair, although my guess is we'll never know for sure.

[16strong]

WTH is a "moral failure"? Do they use that term because "We can't actually call it sin, because then that would mean we're no better than you. However, if we coin a secular term like 'moral failure,' then we can successfully circumvent the scripture that tells us not to judge and that all sin is equal in order to fulfill our personal (rather than God's) desire to ostracize you."

Do I have this right? :think: