Lori Alexander - No fat chicks....REALLY

[RachelB]

About that post Lori quoted-- I mean, nobody gets younger. So unless Misogynist Dude at Sarah's Daughter is proposing serial monogamy, cheating, or non-monogamy, the citizens of Dudekind, in whose interests he purports to speak, are always going to be disappointed.

:violin:

OH NOEZ. Whatever shall we do?

[docmom]

Before you call me judgmental, you should know by now that I try to speak out about all sin.

Oops, too late.

If being thin means you attract the likes of Ken and Cabinetman, then pass me the Big Macs, STAT.

[GeoBQn]

Anybody else find it odd that Cabinetman (and now Cabinetman's Wife) don't have their own blog? They are spending so much time writing essays in the comments of someone else's material.

[smoking_catholic]

I am overweight through medication. I spent my whole day studying and am waiting for my chineese take-away to arrive. This is my Friday night reward with some wine added for good measure.

She is vicious but funnily enough whatever she says does not upset me personally because I think of it as nonsense. Let her spew out her crap. I just get angry that other people might listen to her advice and take it on board. That worries me.

[skankbiscuit]

Ok, so by her own logic, men should be looking for someone else when their wife ages. Even if she's still thin, all people age. And the idea that a woman should be thin and pretty her entire life and it's ok if the man turns into a slovenly couch potato - I just can't.

[lawlifelgbt]

That's ridiculous!

The (new) Mrs. lawlife is 5 foot 7 and 250ish pounds. And she's really hot, to me! It's not just the physical gaze. I look at her, and I remember all the times she listened to me, held my hand when I had to get blood tests done because they scare me, cooked my favorite foods, went on road trips with me, etc. That attachment just makes me love her more, regardless of how conventionally attractive or not she is.

[Koala]

Ok, so by her own logic, men should be looking for someone else when their wife ages.

She has nothing to worry about. Unless SSM is in the immediate vicinity, no one wants Ken :D

[Maggie Mae]

There is a big push in our society as its waistline expands to accept being heavy as normal and beautiful. Our love affair with high fat foods, sugary sodas and desserts, and highly processed foods is finally catching up to us. Sure, we hear about the dangers of obesity but it seems we are trying to normalize it instead of fight against it and call it what it is...gluttony.

I'm not even going to comment on this here, because I suspect I will go off topic and not make very many friends.

Before you call me judgmental, you should know by now that I try to speak out about all sin. Sin is destructive. It is never beautiful or something we should glorify and make normal.

Yes Lori, you are judgmental. Just admit it. And admit that you wrote this particular article at this particular time because you know it's a "hot topic" and you like the attention you get by being "edgy."

There are so many beautiful women who would love to be married but are heavy and out of shape. I posted that first paragraph which was written by a man to try and persuade young women who are looking for a husband to begin eating healthy, working out, join Weight Watchers, whatever it takes to look better. Men are visual. That is the way God made them. Instead of criticizing them and trying to make them think being overweight is attractive, realize this is not true and do something about it.

There are many beautiful women who are thin and fit and don't care about being married. There are heavy women that aren't looking to get thin to please a man. There are women who don't give a rip about what men think about them and still work out and eat healthy. Furthermore, Lori, Weight Watchers a bullshit program designed to separate insecure women from their money. If someone wants to lose weight, they can lose weight without a program designed to make money. Men are visual. Women are visual. Overweight is attractive to some people, if it wasn't, there would be a whole lot of single people in the USA. 35% I think. Yet I don't see a 35% decline in weddings.

Gluttony is a sin. Don't let that cookie boss you around anymore and potentially destroy a future marriage for you. Take charge and get in shape. Eat lots of salads, fresh chicken, eggs, and fish. Laugh a lot and be happy. Be feminine. This is very attractive to men!

Yes, eat lots of salads, fresh chicken, eggs, and fish. But do it because it is better for you, not because it's "attractive." Also, Lori, IS it a sin? I'm not sure. I know it's one of the "seven deadly" sins, but weren't those made up for a movie? Or a book, by Dante?

[love2scrap]

For the first time I think Raquel has got one thing right. Go read her latest post. Fuck you Lori , even the most narcissistic teenager has more sense than you do.

god-sdaughter.blogspot.com/2014/02/self-esteem-vs-self-confidence.html?m=1

[Koala]

Lori wrote the following:

whatever it takes to look better

Her daughter went on to write the following:

My biggest struggle as a dancer was my body image. I never was happy with what I saw in the mirror.

In my early years of dance, my body became my obsession. I had not even hit puberty and I was worried that I was too curvy or not skinny enough. Not only did my image disorder cause insecurity, but it gave rise to a host of other issues: bad eating habits, depression, injuries, foggy thinking, sleepless nights, and more. Idolizing the way I looked never helped me. It did not improve my appearance or my performance.

:cry:

[singsingsing]

If being slim means I attract men like Lori's husband I'm going to gain 30 pounds ASAP.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Lori wrote the following:

Her daughter went on to write the following:

:cry:

I hope Alyssa somehow overcomes her infertility, because I suspect that she'd be a far more sensible and compassionate parent than Lori was.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Look, there is always going to be a degree of contradiction between being modest enough to keep men from sin, and attractive enough to lure a husband. She could at least admit that the contradiction exists, and that it's a fine line. I've read things like "be attractive but not attracting" before, and honestly, it doesn't make that much sense. One person's idea of a pretty yet modest girl is another person's idea of a slut. At most, I'd say that appearance sometimes signals a certain attitude or set of values, and a man may be looking for that. So, if you are a fundie Christian guy, you may find someone like Jessa Duggar really attractive, but the skirt is a sign that she has certain beliefs and lifestyle.

[sparkles]

I can't imagine what growing up in the Alexander house must have been like, what with two raging assholes as parents, both of whom seem to thrive on cruelty and humiliation.

Weight Watchers a bullshit program designed to separate insecure women from their money. If someone wants to lose weight, they can lose weight without a program designed to make money

Welllll, I'll take a teensy issue with the above. Gimmicks aside, the eating plan itself is an extremely sound, sensible and realistic one that's actually very easy to follow, and having good guidelines is very important, I think. I rejoined in 2001, lost 120 pounds* and have been more or less maintaining since then--with some gains here and there that always come off--and it hasn't been difficult. That being said, I do agree that over the years the entirety of the program, ESPECIALLY the meetings (blech), has played more and more into people's insecurities and in fact, I find that it actually enables negative and destructive behaviors which bothers me tremendously. I'm very vocal about it in meetings, which I do attend when I'm in a losing phase, mainly because if I can force myself to show up at something I HATE week after week, I can pretty much do anything. Needless to say, my comments don't go over well with women who just want to be told "Aww, it's okay you snorfed that entire cheesecake. Just forgive yourself because tomorrow is another day! And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..."

* I lost weight for myself only. I consulted no one, told no one and rarely discussed it, even with Mr. Sparkles. My weight didn't really stop me from actually doing anything, but I was getting damned uncomfortable and I didn't like that. Nothing really changed once I hit my goal. I didn't suddenly change who I was and since I was pretty happy with myself before I lost the weight, I was still pretty happy with myself after. I just weighed less.

And because it can't be said enough, Lori Alexander is a monster.

[ADoyle90815]

Oops, too late.

If being thin means you attract the likes of Ken and Cabinetman, then pass me the Big Macs, STAT.

I agree, if being thin means you attract men like these assholes, then I would rather be overweight.

[SquirrelySquirrel]

All the physical beauty in the world couldn't over-shadow the absolute ugliness that is living inside Lori.

[nolongerIFBx]

I'm a cynic so I guess I'm actually inclined to agree with her to a point. Evolutionary psychology tells us that we are attracted to attractive people. Duh! We believe that what is beautiful is good. We think that pretty people are nice people. What is pretty are symetrical faces. Men want a hip to waist ratio of .7- the waist needs to be 30 percent smaller than the hips. Even men blind from birth prefer this ratio! Super skinny women are not as attractive as a women with the right waist to hip ratio BUT because we are an overfed country, men's current preference is for a smaller woman than in the past. For instance Miss American contestants are smaller than ever. Marilyn Monroe was all the rage; now she would be considered on the large size even though she would have the right waist to hip ratio. Why? because women with this ratio tend to get pregnant more easily and be more healthy. Hair is associated with physical health in our minds so long hair makes a man think a woman is healthy and would be a good mate.

Statistically, men look for attractiveness and vitality first before they look for warmth and loyalty. Of course, what shows up as a statisfic facts may be minutely small in actuality.

Facts from Intimate Relationships, by Rowland S. Miller.

Nothing really changed once I hit my goal. I didn't suddenly change who I was and since I was pretty happy with myself before I lost the weight, I was still pretty happy with myself after.

Wow! Congrats! Totally agree that WW is a reasonable way to lose weight and studies show that gimmicks like accountability and support DO help you lose weight. Anyway, I wanted to say that you are correct that losing weight doesn't change who you are, but sometimes it is too much change for some people. People will sabotage their weight loss if they do start to feel too different, if too many people are saying , "You look different". Say Yes to the Dress had an episode where the bride to be had lost over 100 lbs. She had a total meltdown because she still didn't recognize herself in the mirror. Her mind hadn't caught up to her body.

Can I just say, I wish I had that problem! :cracking-up:

Edited because I can't spell worth a riffle today!

[AuntCloud]

When I met my husband I weighed less that 100 lbs. I am now a size 12. I have never been a fancy dresser (jeans, sweatshirt, white Ked's). I wear make-up, but he actually tells me he thinks I am pretty without it. He hates fake. He also realizes that I dress for ME not HIM. And he likes it. He would pity a man with a mindless wife or one who married for looks. He married a woman, not a robot. He wants a partner, not a trophy. He is not great with housework, but does all of the outdoor work and most of the cooking. He has been involved with child care since our babies were born and has coached their soccer teams for 6 years.

Flip side: He is losing his hair and has gained a few lbs. And I think he's more attractive than he was the day I met him. He's worked hard for our family, and I've seen him sit up many a night to rock a baby back to sleep. He's up every Sat. and Sun. morning to make a big family breakfast for us. He will often pipe up and say the very thing I am thinking, and sometimes I swear he can read my mind. It's because he knows me - he listens to me. He thinks I am smart (even though I don't feel it) and he tells me so. I am sorry that Lori can't relate to that. It must really suck to be her.

Dressing up, losing weight and attracting a man like Ken or Cabinetman? Perish the thought....

Koala, I would think we're married to the same guy, however, the last time I was under 100 lbs was in middle school. Also, if I lost that amount of weight I would be very, very, very unpleasant to be around so keeping thin and keeping sweet are mutually exclusive. To quote my daughter, "pass me the schnitzel and no one gets hurt".

She's really channeling her mean girl lately.

[RachelB]

I don't know, not recognizing yourself to the point of crying in the mirror does not seem to me like a problem to wish on oneself. Maybe she didn't like how she looked that much thinner. Since the two people in my family who've lost that kind of weight were in the process of dying from cancer at the time, I can imagine finding that kind of change shocking and scary.

[Maggie Mae]

I can't imagine what growing up in the Alexander house must have been like, what with two raging assholes as parents, both of whom seem to thrive on cruelty and humiliation.

Welllll, I'll take a teensy issue with the above. Gimmicks aside, the eating plan itself is an extremely sound, sensible and realistic one that's actually very easy to follow, and having good guidelines is very important, I think. I rejoined in 2001, lost 120 pounds* and have been more or less maintaining since then--with some gains here and there that always come off--and it hasn't been difficult. That being said, I do agree that over the years the entirety of the program, ESPECIALLY the meetings (blech), has played more and more into people's insecurities and in fact, I find that it actually enables negative and destructive behaviors which bothers me tremendously. I'm very vocal about it in meetings, which I do attend when I'm in a losing phase, mainly because if I can force myself to show up at something I HATE week after week, I can pretty much do anything. Needless to say, my comments don't go over well with women who just want to be told "Aww, it's okay you snorfed that entire cheesecake. Just forgive yourself because tomorrow is another day! And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..."

* I lost weight for myself only. I consulted no one, told no one and rarely discussed it, even with Mr. Sparkles. My weight didn't really stop me from actually doing anything, but I was getting damned uncomfortable and I didn't like that. Nothing really changed once I hit my goal. I didn't suddenly change who I was and since I was pretty happy with myself before I lost the weight, I was still pretty happy with myself after. I just weighed less.

I agree, and I could have been a little less aggressive with my language. I personally don't have a problem with the points system. It didn't work for me, I found straight calorie counting with a focus on my macro nutrients to be easier than looking up foods and converting to points. However, I know that other people would find points easier or simple enough to use.

My beef with any pay-to-lose weight management system is that they are all flawed business plans. If whatever gimmick they are selling (WW, jenny craig, etc) worked long term on all clients, it wouldn't be a business for very long. That's not to say that changing one's diet doesn't work to reduce excess weight; just that building a business around the idea seems unethical to me.

On a different topic, it bothers me that you have to justify your weight loss. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to point out why you lost the weight. Congratulations on losing and keeping it off. That probably took a lot of discipline to stay focused!

[skankbiscuit]

Just curious - what does Ken look like?

[sparkles]

I agree, and I could have been a little less aggressive with my language. I personally don't have a problem with the points system. It didn't work for me, I found straight calorie counting with a focus on my macro nutrients to be easier than looking up foods and converting to points. However, I know that other people would find points easier or simple enough to use.

My beef with any pay-to-lose weight management system is that they are all flawed business plans. If whatever gimmick they are selling (WW, jenny craig, etc) worked long term on all clients, it wouldn't be a business for very long. That's not to say that changing one's diet doesn't work to reduce excess weight; just that building a business around the idea seems unethical to me.

On a different topic, it bothers me that you have to justify your weight loss. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to point out why you lost the weight. Congratulations on losing and keeping it off. That probably took a lot of discipline to stay focused!

No no no! You definitely didn't make me feel like I had to justify my weight loss. Blame that on Lori's post. And just the general attitude toward overweight women. I managed to keep my weight loss a secret (by wearing FRUMPERS!) until I had lost 60 pounds, at which point I was inundated with questions and comments from people who just assumed that I was a terribly unhappy person or that I was doing it under pressure from Mr. Sparkles. These same people also assumed that once I reached goal, I'd start wearing makeup, dressing up and maybe even getting plastic surgery because, after all, that's what wimmins have to do. :roll: Only not.

I've counted calories, exchanges and points--they're all basically the same. The one thing that really made the difference for me was being able to use the computer to keep track of things--WW's e-Tools was in its infancy when I joined. The points system is pretty much second nature for me now, and with the apps I'm never without the info I need. Plus, I'm a very accurate estimator after years of practice.

Again, I do agree with you that the business models are flawed--somewhat. I don't know about other plans, but WW does stress how important meetings are, even after you've reached your goal, so they want you to keep coming back, although frankly, I'd rather gouge out my eyes with a spork. They'll never be wanting for new recruits though.

[Olive Plant]

lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-truth-about-men.html

Holy FUCK.

[skankbiscuit]

I love WW, but hate the meetings. I agree people want pats on the back for eating a cake. It seems to appeal to attention seekers.

Since Lori is thin, it's something she feels she can hold over other women to feel better about herself. So very Christlike of her. :roll:

[singsingsing]

You know, I've really recently come to realize how much advice there is out there, especially in certain Christian circles, about how to find a man to marry. Emphasis on 'a man'. No matter if you're in love with him or even particularly attracted to him. The focus is entirely on finding A MAN who ticks off a small number of requisite qualities and then convincing him to marry you as soon as you can. Is that really supposed to be our goal as women if marriage is something we're interested in? To find an okay guy and grab him like he's a commodity? I do want to be married, but if it's a choice between this b.s. and being single forever, I will happily remain single. I want to get married because I love a man and want to spend my life with him, not marry a man because I want to be married.