Ding Dong, VF is Dead! And Doug Phillips is a Tool - Part 3

[SheWhoIsObeyed]

A support group for Daughters of Narcissists of which I am a member is discussing DougieTool's narcissism and spiritual abuse. Many of us have had experience in dealing with these charismatic ministerial narcissists. They're all the same. But watching this one played out on the Internet with input from his former inner circle is fascinating. And troubling.

So often those susceptible to these vampires are in very unhealthy places emotionally. They latch on to these men and their "ministries" while still suffering from ComplexPTSD and the like due to abuse elsewhere. They are already programmed. And the cycle perpetuates itself.

Even with the growing body of work on narcissism and its devastating effects, people in this culture really are the proverbial sheep being led to the slaughter. They are oblivious.

Perhaps that might begin to change with this latest revelation, but I doubt it.

[singsingsing]

A support group for Daughters of Narcissists of which I am a member is discussing DougieTool's narcissism and spiritual abuse. Many of us have had experience in dealing with these charismatic ministerial narcissists. They're all the same. But watching this one played out on the Internet with input from his former inner circle is fascinating. And troubling.

Is this group online, and if so would you mind linking to it? Most of the resources I've found for daughters of narcissists are specifically geared toward daughters of narcissistic mothers.

[nokidsmom]

Yep, MamaJ. People want the easy way out, without the stigma of admitting it. God forbid that they should fall short of the old Puritan work ethic, which condemns slackers, sensuality, and FUN.

In this country, ascetics and conservative Christian[tm][/tm] believers are all too readily ceded the moral high ground--as if No Non-Marital Sex and Not Being On Welfare automatically make one a good person.

And let me not get started on the hair-splitting fetish that has taken over modern Calvinist "reformed" churches. It makes old-fashioned Catholic overthinking look like kindergarten.

Like infralapsarianism and supralapsarianism? Good god, when I read that, I was thinking these peoples' brains gotta hurt.

[Joan of Snarc]

An interesting response from someone to the big article I copied and pasted before. From Braderick's page again:

"I think possibly there is information still being gathered and compiled. This is a huge situation. Far bigger then anyone can imagine. Especially if crimes have been committed they can just reveal all the details at once. I think the element of fear is starting to wear off and people are just staring to come forward. Remember we are talking about a man who was in a position of leadership on many levels. This is not your typical situation."

I did suspect there were investigations ongoing but this is intriguing! In some ways I hope it's just severe financial fiddling as I really don't care about all the money that people of this mindset ploughed in to this ministry. It was probably better spent on costumes than on spreading the tool's "vision", but on the other hand I do find that scenario quite dull.

So there's hope for drugs and arms-trading yet!

:dance:

Seriously, it sounds like he's been a serial abuser and more and the shit's about to go down.

:popcorn2:

[SheWhoIsObeyed]

Is this group online, and if so would you mind linking to it? Most of the resources I've found for daughters of narcissists are specifically geared toward daughters of narcissistic mothers.

I'm sorry it is a group specifically for Narcissistic mothers. I know there are several FB pages dealing with narcissistic abuse by any number of people but I know of none focusing exclusively on fathers if that is what you are seeking.

Try emergingfrombroken.com. Excellent resource. She also has a FB page. And both her parents were narcs I believe.

Good luck. Recovery from a narc parent is a lifelong journey. Before I got help I married one and joined a church pastored by one. Only by finding good therapists familiar with this PD can you begin the journey to healing.

[nokidsmom]

So there's hope for drugs and arms-trading yet!

:dance:

Seriously, it sounds like he's been a serial abuser and more and the shit's about to go down.

:popcorn2:

Maybe we will get to see Dougie do a perp walk.

[singsingsing]

I'm sorry it is a group specifically for Narcissistic mothers. I know there are several FB pages dealing with narcissistic abuse by any number of people but I know of none focusing exclusively on fathers if that is what you are seeking.

Try emergingfrombroken.com. Excellent resource. She also has a FB page. And both her parents were narcs I believe.

Good luck. Recovery from a narc parent is a lifelong journey. Before I got help I married one and joined a church pastored by one. Only by finding good therapists familiar with this PD can you begin the journey to healing.

Thank you! :)

[lemonhead]

I'm sorry it is a group specifically for Narcissistic mothers. I know there are several FB pages dealing with narcissistic abuse by any number of people but I know of none focusing exclusively on fathers if that is what you are seeking.

Try emergingfrombroken.com. Excellent resource. She also has a FB page. And both her parents were narcs I believe.

Good luck. Recovery from a narc parent is a lifelong journey. Before I got help I married one and joined a church pastored by one. Only by finding good therapists familiar with this PD can you begin the journey to healing.

I can add a couple of suggestions, too: there is a forum at http://outofthefog.net/forum/ that supports people in many different kinds of relationships with personality-disordered people. There is also a subreddit called raisedbynarcissists (http://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/) that may be helpful.

[SamuraiKatz]

I'm quoting something from Jen's site. If this is our Tropaka, Thank you for calling them on the slut shaming.

Jen Says:

December 3, 2013 at 12:26 pm

Tropaka, there are certain reasons why it was necessary to name her. Doug Phillips knows the reasons why.

Reply

This.Is.A.Mind.Fuck. Totally dysfunctional reasoning...

[lemonhead]

I'm sorry it is a group specifically for Narcissistic mothers. I know there are several FB pages dealing with narcissistic abuse by any number of people but I know of none focusing exclusively on fathers if that is what you are seeking.

Try emergingfrombroken.com. Excellent resource. She also has a FB page. And both her parents were narcs I believe.

Good luck. Recovery from a narc parent is a lifelong journey. Before I got help I married one and joined a church pastored by one. Only by finding good therapists familiar with this PD can you begin the journey to healing.

I can add a couple of suggestions, too: there is a forum at http://outofthefog.net/forum/ that supports people in many different kinds of relationships with personality-disordered people. There is also a subreddit called raisedbynarcissists (http://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/) that may be helpful.

[nokidsmom]

I can add a couple of suggestions, too: there is a forum at http://outofthefog.net/forum/ that supports people in many different kinds of relationships with personality-disordered people. There is also a subreddit called raisedbynarcissists (http://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/) that may be helpful.

Lemonhead, you beat me to it. I was going to mention outofthefog.net as well! :)

@singsingsing, I have been a part of that forum in the wake of dealing with a loved one with bpd but they do have support for all kinds of personality disorders and narc comes up a lot. Good people over there.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Ive been on OutOfTheFog too :)

[singsingsing]

Lemonhead, you beat me to it. I was going to mention outofthefog.net as well! :)

@singsingsing, I have been a part of that forum in the wake of dealing with a loved one with bpd but they do have support for all kinds of personality disorders and narc comes up a lot. Good people over there.

Thanks to all of you. I'm sorry so many have had to deal with this stuff, but it's nice to know that we're not alone and that there are resources out there.

[tropaka]

I'm quoting something from Jen's site. If this is our Tropaka, Thank you for calling them on the slut shaming.

This.Is.A.Mind.Fuck. Totally dysfunctional reasoning...

Your welcome and I agree with you - were there so many cougars praying on young VF men that they really had to call her out and post a photo of her because, um, Doug? I also find it hard to believe that her husband, as they said, shrugged off any complaints.

[hoipolloi]

And Nathaniel Darnell weighs in (perseveronews.com/when-soldiers-fall-responding-to-the-news-about-vision-forum/):

For the last several weeks since the announcement of Doug Phillips’ resignation, I have been reluctant to make any public statement about the event. This has been due to several reasons. First, while I, as something of an “insider,†have been aware of some (not all) of Mr. Phillips’ weaknesses and sins for sometime now, I do not desire to bring more public shame on him or anyone else involved than is necessary for Biblical repentance and restoration to be carried out. Mr. Phillips has been a friend and mentor to me for many years. I have benefited tremendously from how God has used his ministry in my life, and I still consider the things I learned in San Antonio to have been invaluably beneficial to my growth and maturity. I will always be grateful to the Lord.

[gustava]

Or else he's trying to set his daughters up with a couple of Arndts. (This will not happen.)

:dance: :dance:

[pomegranate82]

Hmm, this again from PB's FB:

Randy Mary Gavin: "Our family personally experienced Doug's wrath when we confronted him in 2004 pleading with him to repent for his actions and tell the truth! He did not and still has not!"

So sad to read about so many with direct experiences of narcissism in the family. Glad we have the internet for so many reasons!

[hoipolloi]

Your welcome and I agree with you - were there so many cougars praying on young VF men that they really had to call her out and post a photo of her because, um, Doug? I also find it hard to believe that her husband, as they said, shrugged off any complaints.

Yes, thank you, tropaka. Well done! :clap:

Naming the woman was totally vindictive & probably settled some score in the view of Jen & "Eston." There was no other purpose.

[nokidsmom]

Yes, thank you, tropaka. Well done! :clap:

Naming the woman was totally vindictive & probably settled some score in the view of Jen & "Eston." There was no other purpose.

Agreed. Checked out that entry and was appalled that they not only posted her picture but found every chance to mention her name. Screamed "payback".

[Clementine]

Agreed. Checked out that entry and was appalled that they not only posted her picture but found every chance to mention her name. Screamed "payback".

Yes, I lost the last dainty morsel of respect I have had for Jen. I have no idea why they would post her name and photo - the people who are involved would understand who they are talking about without the name and photo and the rest of us really don't have to know.

[SheWhoIsObeyed]

I was willing to give Jen the benefit of the doubt, even with Twit Eston came on board. I was the target of pastoral abuse, although it was a mere fraction of what Jen experienced so I had compassion for her, even with her continued defense of so much I find repugnant in her christofascist world as I see it. But with the revelation on Monday and the continued slut shaming, its difficult to see her in much better light than The Tool himself. And it's unfathomable to me that she is unable to see how deeply she is damaging her credibility with this continued assault on a woman who is peripheral to The Tool's downfall. And why just tell half the story? They already maligned the poor woman all over the place, why play games with the "Doug knows why." NOW who's blackmailing WHOM?

[debrand]

And Nathaniel Darnell weighs in (perseveronews.com/when-soldiers-fall-responding-to-the-news-about-vision-forum/):

Basically, Darnell would keep Doug's misdeeds private and continue to allow his abuse to continue. Nathaniel speaks against pride and yet he seems unable to comprehend how prideful he is being. He assumes that church leaders without training can not only determine if there is a sociopath among them but can pray away the abusers' faults. They can't. The most ethical action would be to be open and transparent with the other church members and to contact outside psychological or legal professionals to deal with Doug and the harm that he has done.

While I am grateful that Mr. Phillips confessed his sin of pride and resigned from leadership, I have been as surprised as anyone that the powers that be felt it necessary to divulge as much information about the nature of Mr. Phillip’s relational sin as they did.

So, shut up and don't ask questions, lowly members who pay the pastor's salary.

[Phoebe]

A month ago was Tool O' Ween. There must have been a meeting, and Dougie was forced to resign kicking and screaming.

Oh to have been a fly on the wall!

If only there had been audio... /wistful

[debrand]

So there's hope for drugs and arms-trading yet!

:dance:

Seriously, it sounds like he's been a serial abuser and more and the shit's about to go down.

:popcorn2:

:pray: Oh please, please Flying Spaghetti Monster, let it be a well dressed drug cartel who is also involved in illegal arms trading.

[nelliebelle1197]

I left this comment for the Tools over at ToolsGems in reply to Jen's refusing to give reasons for naming the woman:

You really think this is an answer to all the people criticizing you for calling out this woman by name? Rather than shine a spotlight on Doug, all you did was shine a spotlight on a woman who obviously needs help and make yourselves look vengeful. Whether that was intentional or not, that is exactly how this appears, especially since you do not share your reasons. It is also unseemly and cowardly for someone who hides behind a pen name to "out" someone else. Mr. "Eston" should not name names unless he is willing to name himself

Doubt it will make it through, but at least they will see it.