Bates Wedding Part 2: Zach N Whitney

[Mama Mia]

I can see why, if a girl (woman) plans on going fundie lite, she would play it cool and wait till after the wedding to break away. Meaning she probably has no way of supporting herself and her parents will be paying for the wedding. But why does a guy keep up the act. He must already have a job to support him and his wife and a place to live. So if he's marrying a fundie-lite girl, why not just move on out and do his own thing?

Probably because they don't want to cause a huge fight or falling out with their family. It's probably much easier to make changes more or less gradually once they are married. They might not mind living at home until then, it means they can save their money. If they had huge differences of opinion or wanting to do a complete 180 on lifestyle moving out would be worth it. But if it's relatively minor issues why risk a big drama and rift.

[socalrules]

Probably because they don't want to cause a huge fight or falling out with their family. It's probably much easier to make changes more or less gradually once they are married. They might not mind living at home until then, it means they can save their money. If they had huge differences of opinion or wanting to do a complete 180 on lifestyle moving out would be worth it. But if it's relatively minor issues why risk a big drama and rift.

I agree. I think that life changes are more acceptable in the fundie world when you are married. The wife can say that the changes were decided on by her headship and she is being a good submissive wife by following them. A husband can say that God spoke to him and wanted him to make those changes for his family, so he has to follow the world of God. Marriage gives you cover in the fundie world, both good and bad.

Count me in as someone who believes that Zach and Whitney will go fundie lite. I would bet that Whitney is going back to pants once the ring is on her finger and that she will either continue working or get a job somewhere else until she pops out a blessing. I cannot see how she and Zach can survive otherwise. The fact that Whitney went to college, wore pants and worked at Sonic, a place she would come in contact with people from all walks of life, leads me to believe that she was raised conservative, not fundie. It's highly unlikely that she is going to go fundie and stay that way. I think that is what appeals to Zach about her. She isn't a submissive clone of every other fundie girl.

[Arete]

Just wanted to chime in that it is not only fundies who try and fly their changes under the radar. A lot of people don't like direct confrontations with their parents, and will pretty much ease them into things that may not be in line with how the parents think. Even non religious parents can believe there is only one right way to do things.

[Coconut Flan]

Zach and John David may have spent some time with Josh watching the evil beast and having unsupervised web surfing time. Zach may be ready to drop the leash and kind of like Josh did is waiting for his own house to quietly go his own way in private.

[feministing]

Wait - money dance? I thought they don't dance....

[Arete]

Wait - money dance? I thought they don't dance....

No, Erin and Chad did not do a money dance. They had a collection taken up that was going toward their honeymoon.

Money dances came into this conversation because people brought it up as another way that a bride and groom collect money in some cultures.

[slickcat79]

Might sound stupid by I don't remeber this whole story about Lawson being the breadwinner of the family. Could someone refresh my memory ?

Before the Bateses had their TLC show, they did a video segment for some evening news show (abcnews or the like). They showed Lawson going to Walmart and buying all the family's groceries with his own money. They mentioned that he does it frequently, and that he also loaned Erin money for school and Zach for a car.

I'm pretty sure that was the same show where they mentioned that they get their prenatal/birth care from a "free Christian clinic", and showed them taking a pie to the office as a gift after one of their babies was born. Gil also made some very pro-'murika comment about how it didn't matter that they didn't have insurance, because they could always just go to the ER :roll:

There's probably at least one thread about it on the board, I know it was discussed at the time it aired.

[sunshine]

Before the Bateses had their TLC show, they did a video segment for some evening news show (abcnews or the like). They showed Lawson going to Walmart and buying all the family's groceries with his own money. They mentioned that he does it frequently, and that he also loaned Erin money for school and Zach for a car.

I'm pretty sure that was the same show where they mentioned that they get their prenatal/birth care from a "free Christian clinic", and showed them taking a pie to the office as a gift after one of their babies was born. Gil also made some very pro-'murika comment about how it didn't matter that they didn't have insurance, because they could always just go to the ER :roll:

There's probably at least one thread about it on the board, I know it was discussed at the time it aired.

He did say that, but that means the cost of his surgery and other care was added to people with healthcare plan. This is probably one reason why JimBob always ask from an itemized bill to ensure he is only paying for his family.

[formergothardite]

He did say that, but that means the cost of his surgery and other care was added to people with healthcare plan. This is probably one reason why JimBob always ask from an itemized bill to ensure he is only paying for his family.

They do this by adding to the general cost of things. So looking at an itemized list isn't going to really prevent paying for people like Gil's ER visit. Sure they might charge you for things that you didn't have and you can catch that, but most of the time they are just going to charge you more for the procedures that you did have to make up for people who came to the ER with no insurance and couldn't pay.

[Rescinded and Mended]

Board games are very popular in the young Mormon registries. I stock up during these holiday sales. I'm not LDS but I live in a very active ward boundary & somehow every house in the ward boundary gets an invite. Our homes are 10-20 years old so there are at least 20 weddings a year. I just send up a couple board games to the ward house gym for the reception.

I did make the mistake of buying a bunch of 3 packs of board games on amazons when they had a sale $5 for 3 games. It was family feud, price is right and the newlywed game. I guess the newlywed game was too racy.

I can understand registering for and buying board games for a newlywed couple. It's something a couple can do together and with their friends. My only issue with my friend's husband registering for video games was because it was well-known in our circle that she didn't play them at all, and they didn't have much money and actually needed help with furnishing their apartment after the wedding.

I wouldn't ever assume that my friend might not choose to play said video games at some point if they were given to her and her husband, it was just that what little money they had at the time was spent on the wedding, they were broke, and they didn't even have money for a deluxe toilet shovel/plunger. ;)

Overall, it looked like a gift-grab on the part of her husband. Plus, he's kind of a jerk in real life and it's exactly the sort of thing he would do.

[justmissedquiver]

I'm pretty sure that was the same show where they mentioned that they get their prenatal/birth care from a "free Christian clinic", and showed them taking a pie to the office as a gift after one of their babies was born. Gil also made some very pro-'murika comment about how it didn't matter that they didn't have insurance, because they could always just go to the ER

moocher :evil-eye:

[gustava]

They do this by adding to the general cost of things. So looking at an itemized list isn't going to really prevent paying for people like Gil's ER visit. Sure they might charge you for things that you didn't have and you can catch that, but most of the time they are just going to charge you more for the procedures that you did have to make up for people who came to the ER with no insurance and couldn't pay.

And next time they show up at the doctor or hospital, they'll have to sign up for Affordable Health Care.

[ADoyle90815]

I can understand registering for and buying board games for a newlywed couple. It's something a couple can do together and with their friends. My only issue with my friend's husband registering for video games was because it was well-known in our circle that she didn't play them at all, and they didn't have much money and actually needed help with furnishing their apartment after the wedding.

I wouldn't ever assume that my friend might not choose to play said video games at some point if they were given to her and her husband, it was just that what little money they had at the time was spent on the wedding, they were broke, and they didn't even have money for a deluxe toilet shovel/plunger. ;)

Overall, it looked like a gift-grab on the part of her husband. Plus, he's kind of a jerk in real life and it's exactly the sort of thing he would do.

Her husband reminds me of my ex, and one of the reasons why I'm glad I divorced him, as I wasn't that much of a video gamer, and he saw the registry thing as a big gift grab. He even kept the lists and went to the stores to see how much people spent on gifts, and even got upset when someone took advantage of a sale. His idea of a joke was to register for the most expensive silverware at Macy's because he thought it would be funny to imagine the reactions of the actual price of that stuff.

[nokidsmom]

And next time they show up at the doctor or hospital, they'll have to sign up for Affordable Health Care.

With the individual mandate, that does make me wonder what happens at their first ER visit after Jan. 1. Even if they still don't get insurance they will find they will pay a penalty for it come tax time. So if nothing else, Gil will finally have to pay something in exchange for his mooching.

[sunshine]

With the individual mandate, that does make me wonder what happens at their first ER visit after Jan. 1. Even if they still don't get insurance they will find they will pay a penalty for it come tax time. So if nothing else, Gil will finally have to pay something in exchange for his mooching.

Unless he has tax deductions that give him a taxable income.

[gustava]

Unless he has tax deductions that give him a taxable income.

Let me take a step back from what I said upthread. Gil make have so little income that his family is eligible for Medicaid, and not AHC. Tennesse rejected extending Medicare so Gil may be off the hook.

[nokidsmom]

Let me take a step back from what I said upthread. Gil make have so little income that his family is eligible for Medicaid, and not AHC. Tennesse rejected extending Medicare so Gil may be off the hook.

Ah, that's right. TN didn't do the Medicaid expansion in that case, yes, he might be off the hook depending on his income (which can't be by all means much) but that may change per some news reports.

[LeopardLady]

Ah, that's right. TN didn't do the Medicaid expansion in that case, yes, he might be off the hook depending on his income (which can't be by all means much) but that may change per some news reports.

I don't know if the Bateses have Scamaritan. If they do, they are exempt from having to get insurance. It's one of the exemptions written into the bill.

[Melissa1977]

I don't believe that Zach has controlled acces to internet, as Kelly said. I'm sorry Kelly, you're lying or you're too naive, because a MAN that has his own work, and is even an elected representative, is able to have his own phone with his own internet connection or visit whatever website using a computer in his workplace.

I think Zach is a conservative man who has left Gothard possitions. If he was still Gothard, he wouldn't never court a waitress&student woman who wears pants and seems so independent (comparing to fundie girls).

Also, I really doubt all their dates had been chaperoned. Zach could do a lot of visits to Whitney's restaurant and take her to places without parental permission. It's obvious Whitney parents leave her freedom, as she can go alone to college or to work. So they're less fundie than Bates are.

I can see Zach and Withney having a "normal" life with few children and being happy.

[No Cure for Stupid]

I don't know about whether or not Zach and Whitney will be fundie-lite or not. People talk about how she wore pants and worked before the courtship, but so did Michelle Duggar before she drank the Kool-aid.

Although, the relationship does make me wonder. What happens when a fundie boy courts a non-fundie girl? If he asks her dad, and her dad's all "ask her yourself"? If her parents aren't worried about her giving front-hugs and kisses or (gasp) even having sex? Does all of the chaperoning responsibility fall onto the fundie boy's family, or does the chaperoning not happen?

[gustava]

I don't know if the Bateses have Scamaritan. If they do, they are exempt from having to get insurance. It's one of the exemptions written into the bill.

Not doubting you, but would like to see your source. Would you provide a link, please?

[slickcat79]

^Take it for what you will since it's a news article, but this piece on NPR mentions that members of medical cost-sharing programs are exempt from the individual mandate. There are some other articles along the same vein.

http://www.npr.org/2013/09/28/227238887 ... al-mandate

[Justme]

Kelly just posted in the comments under Aly's courtship that Zach wants to go to Hawaii for their honeymoon. He's still checking prices. (Sidebar- guess Chad & Erin's collection plate was successful, he must think he'll do as well)

[DarkAnts]

I hope Zach and Whitney choose to have a more personal and private wedding.

[gustava]

^Take it for what you will since it's a news article, but this piece on NPR mentions that members of medical cost-sharing programs are exempt from the individual mandate. There are some other articles along the same vein.

http://www.npr.org/2013/09/28/227238887 ... al-mandate

Thanks. That's a definite loophole for fundies.