Lori Alexander is a Fucking Monster

[wayward]

Someone told her they thought what she was suggesting sounded harsh. Her reply:

Oh my god I feel so horrible for her children and grandchildren now. There is something really wrong with this woman. :cry:

Also, Lori will struggle to locate a Bible verse to back up the specifics she just gave. Vile woman came up with that in her own head.

http://emethhesed.com/2012/06/17/how-sp ... adulthood/

[2xx1xy1JD]

I'm sure that this is meant to quell all questions the child could have later in life, like, "Why do you have authority just because you have a penis?" or "Why are you still using natural remedies that don't work?"

WTF???

This can only make sense with a bit of editing:

Tell them they are not allowed to ask that because it is a question that comes naturally to small children who are developing their intellect, and we can't have any of that. Intelligence and curiosity come from the devil. . It is just a manipulation tool they are using. Tell them one time that they obey you because you are their parents. Period. You are the authority in their lives and the sooner they learn to obey you without arguing, the easier it will be for them to obey all the other authority they will have in their lives, which will come in handy, should they ever move to North Korea, or time travel back to Nazi Germany.

[docmom]

I so want to witness the day Karma comes back to bite Lori on the ass! She is an evil devil's spawn!

Unfortunately, given Lori Alexander's (who is a monster) proclivities, she'd probably really enjoy it if Karma bit her ass. Hell for her would be to be locked in a room with young children and not being able to hit them.

[2xx1xy1JD]

There seems to be a common theme in the responses, of women who can't control their kids. I wonder if that isn't, in part, because they have no power in their home. If the general idea is that the man is the head of the house and chief decision maker, then I'm sure that perception funnels down to the kids. Why listen to mommy when she isn't worth anything? Spanking is fast, easy and gives the women a false sense of control if only for a moment.

Sorry, it's late here, and I may not be making a whole lot of sense, because this sounded much clearer in my head...

Don't worry, that makes total sense.

It matches what I've observed IRL. Kids pick up on tone fast. If one parent disrespects another, they know it, and many will then assume that there is no need to treat that parent with respect either.

Maintaining discipline in the home with your kids means that a parent needs to be an alpha, and in families that use positive parenting, parents develop the skills to project authority without resorting to violence or disrespect. Parents who use physical discipline don't always develop these skills, and their children don't learn them either, so it's more of a struggle for them to manage without spanking when they become parents.

[dairyfreelife]

She didn't post my comment. Imagine that. Can't disagree with Lori Alexander, the monster.

Oh, and someone mentioned above about a porn star named Lori Andersen. The surnames are different, so no worries.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Okay, I'm not picking on you or anything, but this is something that's been bugging me.

How will that help?

When we had the smacking discussion before children, my husband brought up the scenario of child attempting to put fingers in the plug socket, as an example of a time when smacking was the only sensible response. Now, leaving aside the minor detail that I have never seen either of my children (or their small friends or cousins) show the remotest interest in the plug socket, I could never understand why smacking the hand was better than taking hold of it and moving it out of the way.

Lori Alexander is a Monster.

(Then you get the parents who think that even physically restraining a small child is abusive. I'm... unconvinced.)

ETA: and I've just remembered the whole reins argument. Wasn't an issue for me - I remembered my brother wearing them, I bought some, both boys wore them no problem at all - then I discovered that they are apparently degrading. But as someone on a newsgroup posted, "I'd rather have a degraded child than a dead one."

Someone once told me that when disciplining a child, you should ask yourself, "will this be an issue when my child is 20?".

Developmentally normal 20-year-olds do not run away from diaper changes, run into traffic or stick fingers into electrical sockets. It's not a discipline issue, it's a maturity issue. Our job as parents is simply to keep the kids safe until they reach a level of maturity where these things are no longer an issue.

Kids between 1 and 3 also aren't great with verbal memory. It's hard for them to really understand and remember something the first time that they hear it. They are much better at learning through pattern and repetition, and this is how things get hard-wired into their brains. So, when a child is spanked, chances are that they will forget whatever specific message the spanking was intended to teach. If the spankings (or threats of spanking) are used regularly, though, they will have it hard-wired into their brains that disobedience = pain, and that spanking is what you do if you want someone to obey you. The Pearls wrote an article where they talk about overhearing their daughters playing with dolls and saying that one was bad and needed a spanking. This kids are programmed to see spanking as necessary for discipline - regardless of the actual facts in a situation.

Basically, the only thing that spanking really teaches kids is how to grow up to be spankers.

[freealljs]

I wonder how many people have written to Lori Alexander (who is a monster) to protest her views on spanking and punishment. It just seems (in general) that Lori Alexander (who is a monster) only publishes comments that she agrees on.

Agree that spanking teaches kids to be adults who spank.

[littleblueheathen]

Lori Alexander, a monster, who is also a vile fucking monster, reminds me of a cousin of my ex-husband's, who was also a monster like Lori Alexander. Instead of kidproofing her house, she would deliberately set objects in places her daughter could reach, and basically follow her around and slap her hands when she tried to touch them. She took the kid off her bottle at 6 months and tried to make her use a sippy cup and fed her whole mini-raviolis before the poor mite even had any teeth.

[Arete]

ETA: and I've just remembered the whole reins argument. Wasn't an issue for me - I remembered my brother wearing them, I bought some, both boys wore them no problem at all - then I discovered that they are apparently degrading. But as someone on a newsgroup posted, "I'd rather have a degraded child than a dead one."

I used to be one of those bitches who thought mothers who put kids on leashes were treating them like animals. Then I helped wrangle two small kids through international airports, and I repented my arrogance. If you are my nibling and you are under 5, you get put on the leash transiting through airports, and get taken off right before your commie great uncle sees you and flips out. :shifty:

[Sobeknofret]

Some kids will be absolutely crushed by even minor corporal punishment. Some will just turn around and snarl, "That didn't hurt!"

Mine is the kind who is crushed by even a mild verbal reprimand. Corporal punishment of any kind would absolutely *destroy* him. I gave him a light swat on the butt once when he nearly ran in front of a car in a parking lot, felt absolutely sick, apologized to him, and never did it again. Spanking or switching him? He'd be destroyed, absolutely devastated. I feel ill even contemplating the damage that would cause.

[Sobeknofret]

[

I used to be one of those bitches who thought mothers who put kids on leashes were treating them like animals. Then I helped wrangle two small kids through international airports, and I repented my arrogance.

I had the same arrogance until I had a non-verbal child who liked to *run*! We got him a cute monkey backpack/leash he could fill with all his treasures, and everyone was happy; he could carry his treasures with and explore a bit, and we could reel him in when we needed to.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Mine is the kind who is crushed by even a mild verbal reprimand. Corporal punishment of any kind would absolutely *destroy* him. I gave him a light swat on the butt once when he nearly ran in front of a car in a parking lot, felt absolutely sick, apologized to him, and never did it again. Spanking or switching him? He'd be destroyed, absolutely devastated. I feel ill even contemplating the damage that would cause.

Exactly. My oldest was just like that - she would cry if I said "no" in a loud voice, or if she ever heard hubby and I fight. This is the same child who was a fussy eater, and who would only sleep if one of us was beside her.

The classic Pearl/Alexander fundie approach would have been to declare that refusing to eat veggies or sleep in her own crib was a sign of "rebellion" and disobedience, and using increasing levels of violence until she complied. At some point, it might have been possible to get her to comply out of sheer terror - but by that point, it would have destroyed her, and destroyed our relationship.

Instead, I realized that as long as we found some source of nutrition, the kid clearly had an aversion to some foods and we could learn to respect that. She was also a very sensitive child, and any child who wants to cuddle and sleep with us that much was likely to be close to us and WANT to listen to what we said. So, she sleeps in her own bed (because she's a teen and kids do eventually outgrow these things), she's learned to plan a reasonably healthy diet and cook some of her own foods, and she's got an intact relationship with us so that we can talk about her embarrassing sex ed classes at school, or the latest stuff she's following online, or what her friends are doing, etc. She's a teen with normal moods, but she's not looking for ways to rebel against us, and she actually wants to be around us if we aren't doing anything embarrassing.

[OkToBeTakei]

Mine is the kind who is crushed by even a mild verbal reprimand. Corporal punishment of any kind would absolutely *destroy* him. I gave him a light swat on the butt once when he nearly ran in front of a car in a parking lot, felt absolutely sick, apologized to him, and never did it again. Spanking or switching him? He'd be destroyed, absolutely devastated. I feel ill even contemplating the damage that would cause.

You are lucky Valsa has seemed to have disappeared from the board. I posted an almost exact story once and man oh man I may as well have admitted to causing world hunger :lol:

I did the same and felt similarly ill. I think the most important thing always, is to learn from any situation. The like of Lori do not wish to learn they just want to hit kids and excuse it.

[Jinger Jar]

She is the worst kind of sub. Do what thou whilst, and whatnot, but it doesn't change the fact that

Lori Alexander is a Fucking Monster.

I'm not sure what you mean by the underlined. D/s relationships don't involve children. This woman may be a submissive, and she's certainly an advocate for child abuse. But she's not a child abuse advocate because she's a submissive. She's an advocate for child abuse because she's a deeply damaged individual with appalling ideas about child rearing.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Maybe it means that she's the kind of submissive who isn't content to say "that's my personal lifestyle choice" and instead sees at as something to force upon others, including small children?

Agree that she's advocating child abuse because she's a deeply damaged individual with appalling ideas about child rearing.

[GeoBQn]

I can't wait for the inevitable post Lori Alexander is a Fucking Monster is going to write about our little campaign. "The Free Jingers are persecuting me for being a Christian!"

[Overweightbook]

She seems to get off on spanking kids, which is disturbing considering she says she wants to get spanked by her husband.

Shy question: Does she honestly enjoy being spanked or is it a religious thing?

Because I think that makes a difference.

[Sumeri]

Exactly. My oldest was just like that - she would cry if I said "no" in a loud voice, or if she ever heard hubby and I fight. This is the same child who was a fussy eater, and who would only sleep if one of us was beside her.

The classic Pearl/Alexander fundie approach would have been to declare that refusing to eat veggies or sleep in her own crib was a sign of "rebellion" and disobedience, and using increasing levels of violence until she complied. At some point, it might have been possible to get her to comply out of sheer terror - but by that point, it would have destroyed her, and destroyed our relationship.

Instead, I realized that as long as we found some source of nutrition, the kid clearly had an aversion to some foods and we could learn to respect that. She was also a very sensitive child, and any child who wants to cuddle and sleep with us that much was likely to be close to us and WANT to listen to what we said. So, she sleeps in her own bed (because she's a teen and kids do eventually outgrow these things), she's learned to plan a reasonably healthy diet and cook some of her own foods, and she's got an intact relationship with us so that we can talk about her embarrassing sex ed classes at school, or the latest stuff she's following online, or what her friends are doing, etc. She's a teen with normal moods, but she's not looking for ways to rebel against us, and she actually wants to be around us if we aren't doing anything embarrassing.

My daughter is the same. She's the youngest of four, 10 years younger that the one closest in age, so it's not like this is our first rodeo, either. I really, really resent "advice" from people like Lori Alexander who is a monster. I've already raised three wonderful men into adulthood, thank you very much.

Anywho. Daughter likes to sleep with me and daddy when she's had a hard day, or just needs some extra parent time. This was disturbing Daddy's sleep, so he moved a couch into our bedroom that we make up like a bed for her when she needs a little extra attention. Here's the thing. Who does this hurt? Nobody. Kids get to be kids for such a short period of time. Before we know it she'll be off to college and I will really treasure the days when she wanted to be close to us.

I cannot even fathom HITTING my little girl because she is feeling insecure or left out or had a hard day. I want to cry just thinking of children who are treated that way by the people who are supposed to love them best in the world.

[Sobeknofret]

You are lucky Valsa has seemed to have disappeared from the board. I posted an almost exact story once and man oh man I may as well have admitted to causing world hunger :lol:

I did the same and felt similarly ill. I think the most important thing always, is to learn from any situation. The like of Lori do not wish to learn they just want to hit kids and excuse it.

Yes, well. Valsa and I disagreed on any number of things. I learned from it, and both my kid and I moved on; in fact, I just asked him about it and he doesn't even remember it.

Lori Alexander wants to exercise power over someone, and makes up excuses to do that. Hitting and force feeding are just ways for her to exert control and dominate someone since I really suspect Ken does that to her. She feels impotent and takes it out on someone weaker and smaller than herself.

[Hane]

Daughter likes to sleep with me and daddy when she's had a hard day, or just needs some extra parent time. This was disturbing Daddy's sleep, so he moved a couch into our bedroom that we make up like a bed for her when she needs a little extra attention. Here's the thing. Who does this hurt? Nobody. Kids get to be kids for such a short period of time. Before we know it she'll be off to college and I will really treasure the days when she wanted to be close to us.

I cannot even fathom HITTING my little girl because she is feeling insecure or left out or had a hard day. I want to cry just thinking of children who are treated that way by the people who are supposed to love them best in the world.

Sumeri, would you build a time machine and go back to 1957 and counsel my mother?

When I was 4 or so, I used to have horrible nightmares--55+ years later, I can still remember several of them. I used to want to get into bed with my parents because I was genuinely afraid. My mother dissuaded me by keeping a wooden spoon on her nightstand--and used to brag to my aunts about it. (They used to have a kind of "I'm the best mother because I'm so STRICT" competition going on.) Several years later, she broke one over my collarbone and thought it was "funny."

[lilwriter85]

I can't wait for the inevitable post Lori Alexander is a Fucking Monster is going to write about our little campaign. "The Free Jingers are persecuting me for being a Christian!"

I think she will avoid it. If she does respond, I agree it will be the typical "I'm being persecuted for being Christian" bullshit. She is disliked here because of the spanking and misogyny she promotes on her blog. I honestly can't stand her fucking attitude that Christianity should rule this country or that everyone should follow the Bible. Lori needs to accept that this country isn't a theocracy and that non-Christians live here too. I think even if FJ didn't exist, Lori would still have her haters. If you look a lot of her early postings from 2011, people were disagreeing with her since the beginning. A lot of the shit she posts is extremely stupid at times ,especially the posts regarding widows and finances. Anti-religious or anti-fundie people who aren't connected to FJ are probably onto Lori's blog partially because she defends Michael Pearl and Mark Driscoll all the time. I wouldn't be surprised if The Friendly Atheist or other atheist bloggers are reading her blog.

[wayward]

Shy question: Does she honestly enjoy being spanked or is it a religious thing?

Because I think that makes a difference.

The problem is that the boundaries get way too blurred. The whole "Christian Domestic Discipline" thing is paraphilia dressed up as religion. Some predatory priests and ministers have told kids that it was God's will that they submit to the abuse.

It's kind of ironic -- if Lori got caught trading photos of kids getting spanked with their pants down, she could get nailed for child porn and end up with a prison sentence and a sex offender jacket. But when she actually *does* it to kids, she can just claim that it's "discipline" and face no consequences whatsoever.

[AnywhereButHere]

Don't worry, that makes total sense.

It matches what I've observed IRL. Kids pick up on tone fast. If one parent disrespects another, they know it, and many will then assume that there is no need to treat that parent with respect either.

Maintaining discipline in the home with your kids means that a parent needs to be an alpha, and in families that use positive parenting, parents develop the skills to project authority without resorting to violence or disrespect. Parents who use physical discipline don't always develop these skills, and their children don't learn them either, so it's more of a struggle for them to manage without spanking when they become parents.

Yup - that's what I was going for. Thanks! :D

[clarinetpower]

Thanks for the correction on Lori Alexander is a fucking monster vs. Lori Anderson, porn star. Brain fart. But apparently, I have learned my lesson and you didn't even have to spank me!!! Woot.

[NotALoserLikeYou]

Look, I'm a Christian, a mother, and kinky and believe me, the last one never has anything to do with the first two!

Edited because I'm stupid.