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All things Razing Ruth


razingruth

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I know some of you follow my blot and some discuss my childhood here. I thought. I would share the latest issue here beecause, in some ways, it validates the freejinger mission.

My father passed away last week. Thus far, the story is that he had a heart attack. I believe he died due to malnutrition at the hands of a naturopath /religious nut ATI "Healer" wwho advised him to fast and pray to fight prostate cancer. I don't think the cancer killed him since it was a recent diagnosis and his prostate didn't effect his ability to impregnate my mom a couple of years ago. My brother told me that dad was only eating once every four days, and then only watermelon and cabbage soup, and praying eight hours a day. Dad was also advised to drink only three, small cups of tea every day.

This is why faith based healing and blind allegiance to a cult-like system is so dangerous. People do things that defy reason just to stay faithfully pure. My rabidly religious brother is telling people dad died "pure and in faith". As opposed to what, I wonder?

Freejinger also is most assuredly on the radar of the higher ups because rabid brother told other brother that they weren't putting his obit in the paper because "the media and naysayers websites" would see " daddy's death as confirmation of false claims" and " use faith against the goal". What the heck does that even mean? The "goal" has no problem and doesn't mind that the Duggars film every medical misadventure or injury they encounter but theey suggest that bad outcomes be "private" because it gives "naysayers " ammunition"?

I hate the whole need to control and suppress the truth. Dad died because he foolishly chose to fast and pray away cancer. But, now he's some sort of martyr for "trusting God with his health and life in the spirit he trusts (sic) the Lord with the size and timing of his family" (from the handouts at the small service). My brother scanned and emailed me the funeral program and it says-

"....was a father to eleven children; including 3 faithful proverbs girls and 5 godly men." ....".... despite struggles with the world and challenges, he chose the Biblical principals over the heart."

Looks like some of us didn't make the cut. I want to tell the brother that drafted this memorial to kiss off.

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I'm sorry to hear that, Ruth. How is your family doing?

Seems like thy are "rejoicing" in his "final and promised reunion with the lord" if you believe my older brother. I still haven't been allowed to talk to mom or Rachel. My normal brother is in the same place I am. Sort of confusedby emotions.

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I'm glad the children left at home will be able to grow up without him. I am sorry you lost him, but that really happened a very long time ago, I suppose. I'm mostly sorry that all hope of him coming to his senses and fixing things with his kids is gone, no matter how small that hope was.

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So sorry to hear that Ruth.

Its really saying something that they wont admit it when this sort of thing doesnt work, and only publish the cases when it works.

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I do follow your blog and I'm so sorry to hear about your father and the circumstances for his passing. Hang in there.

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Sending you hugs Ruth/Mary! Also as others have said (in another thread) it's perfectly normal to feel grief/sadness/anger/relief etc. - I hope you have someone or even a therapist who you can turn to for support.

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Thinking of you Ruth. Even though your father and you have been separated for some time, I'm sure there are some conflicted feelings. *hug

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Your mixed emotions are normal. It will settle out with time but don't be disturbed by feeling all the different emotions. I went through much the same type of emotional thing and it will pass.

I'm still sorry for his passing especially when it was quite possibly avoidable at the time. I hope your family comes to see things more objectively and your mother and younger siblings have a less oppressed life now.

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I am sending you a big ((((((HUG)))))) from here. I am so sorry for all of your losses, and this one especially. I know that his belief was that he was going to be with Jesus, and perhaps knowing that he ended his life with that peace will help you to heal some. I am thinking of you.

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I am truly sorry for your loss, Ruth. Tragedies like this, especially when you are frustrated with the circumstances, turn you whole world upside down. I hope you find peace!

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I'm very sorry you and your family is experiencing this loss, even if it is in a nontraditional way. And people will take note of it, even if they try to suppress what happened.

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It's so confusing to lose someone you both love and hate. I'm sorry for your loss. It helped me to realize that death doesn't make people better than they were. It just makes them gone.

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I also follow your blog. I am sorry for any loss you might be feeling, and for the mixed emotions. We think we are ready for something like this to happen, but we never are. I know you hoped his outlook would somehow change, and now it's final that it won't. Again, so, so sorry.

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So sorry, Ruth. Thanks for coming here to share. I hope you and the brother who was also left out can take comfort in each other. Keep on sharing, and processing. My prayers are with you.

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I'm sorry too, Ruth. It must be even worse knowing that he basically killed himself by following faith healing.

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Dear Mary, I just want you to know that it's ok to grieve. I know from experience (though nothing near yours) that even when an important person in our lives has hurt us unthinkably, when they pass, there can still be grief, as confusing as that is.

And if you're NOT grieving...good on you too! Just don't let anyone tell you what the "right" way is to respond to the situation.

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I am so sorry. Will your fundie brother become your mother's new headship?

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I'm so sorry! I can understand why this would bring out all kinds of conflicting emotions. Praying hope and healing for you and your family.

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Hugs, razingruth. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this.

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I am sorry to hear about your father's passing and all of the mess of emotions it has and will come up for you, and those you love.

I also wish I could give your brother who wrote the eulogy the physical equivalant of the verbal slap in the face I found the "proverbs girls" comment to be. That was just wrong and so not necessary.

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RazingRuth, my condolences on your loss, and various kinds of pain that have ensued from it.

And I'd like to tell your brother that would have been nice if the only "goal" he'd had in mind had been to help his father get well, with truly effective means, not prove something to non-believers.

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