On the road again..... (Maxwells)

[Cartmann99]

Not sure about this one - I'll have to read around more.

But even if the center were to give some more direction as to who you pay, all of the requests have gone through some level of screening already, so you won't have any severe sinners out there - unlike that heathen Medicare or heaven forbid "socialist!!!!1!" single payer national plans.

Thank you for the reply.

I remembered the part about how you have to prove that you and your medical condition are worthy of Samaritan's help. I'm sure that I have had a thought or committed an action today that puts me in the "Godless heathen living an immoral lifestyle" category by Samaritan's definition. :wink-kitty:

I was thinking more along the lines of the Jones family having a dispute with the Smith family (broken courtship, etc...) and then a member of one the families having an "approved" medical need published in the newsletter. What if the Patriarch of one of the families claims that the illness is God's judgement and therefore not only refuses to help the other family, but encourages other Samaritan members to do the same? :cry:

I am so grateful that I don't have to depend on Samaritan to pay my medical bills. :)

[Arete]

Palimpsest, tell Mr. P he is a Prince Among Men for doing this, and you of course are a Goddess. :worship:

[danvillebelle]

No wonder they are all so thin. Maybe I could lose a few pounds going on the Maxhell food plan.

I don't know if they've changed it, but in the original MOTH book I bought around 2000 (yes I owned it, TWICE, chucked it in the trash in frustration both times), I distinctly remember Teri saying that one night of the week they ate frozen pizza and frozen French fries, and that they all *looked forward* to that meal. When she had a bunch of littles, she wasn't whipping up huge salads and smoothies.

ETA: I just noticed I moved up to Speshul Snowflake! Woohoo!

[Loveday]

Palimpsest, your report so far is amazing, I can't WAIT to read more. And Mr P is just...words fail me. He's a rare gem. :clap:

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Mr P’s homework before the conference was to read GardenVarietyCitizen’s (I hope I got her name right) summary of the Maxwells on SOTDRT. ( Thanks GVC, that was a great job!)

Yep that's me! I'm happy you enjoyed it.

Loving this report so far! There is no way I could ever possibly blend into one of those conferences or make it there, so I am loving the reports I see here. I've looked at pics from their conferences and seen the powerpoint slides, they seem to be pretty much what's in their books, in which case, surely it's pretty horrifying...! :pink-shock:

Definitely thanks to Mr. P for taking one for the team, yeah! I can just imagine the berating, again, if the tone is anything like their books...

[Marian the Librarian]

:worship:

All hail Palimpsest and Mr. P!!!!! :cracking-up:

Profound thanks for taking the time - on your birthday, no less - and exposing yourselves to the Smarmy Evil Death Ray that is Stevehovah. Your reports make for fascinating reading. Yes, I would love to read more, but at your convenience. Please celebrate your birthday with all wishes for good health and long life, and know that you have done FJ a true mitzvah by taking this one for the team.

[anjulibai]

Thank you Palimpsest! And please tell more!

[thoughtful]

He briskly ordered us all inside where we were rapidly separated into women upstairs, men on the first floor and kids in the basement.

I won't Godwin, I won't Godwin, I won't Godwin. . . :(

Steve is very average looking; he would blend into any crowd. He’s also shorter than I would have expected. He’s tanned, fit, glib, smooth, a practiced and lucid speaker, and a quintessential snake oil salesman.

No surprise.

I want my birthday dinner and cake (not animal crackers) now. My birthday present was dragging Mr P to Maxhell! :lol: I seriously owe Mr P. big time. I hate to think what I'll have to do for his next birthday. :lol:

Enjoy your non-Maxwell birthday, and thanks for the report!

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Enjoy your non-Maxwell birthday, and thanks for the report!

Heh. This post makes me think, someone needs to make some crazy gooey rich amazing cake in the SHAPE of an animal cracker, in honor of Stevehovah...

I have to admit I love the slightly sweet but not too sweet taste of "Barnum's Animal Crackers" that come in the circus wagon box with the string handle (or at least how they tasted in the 70's, I don't know if they've changed the recipe or not). My mom would treat me and buy me a box at the supermarket. But! I got to eat the WHOLE BOX. Mmmmmmm.

[Cartmann99]

Heh. This post makes me think, someone needs to make some crazy gooey rich amazing cake in the SHAPE of an animal cracker, in honor of Stevehovah...

I have to admit I love the slightly sweet but not too sweet taste of "Barnum's Animal Crackers" that come in the circus wagon box with the string handle (or at least how they tasted in the 70's, I don't know if they've changed the recipe or not). My mom would treat me and buy me a box at the supermarket. But! I got to eat the WHOLE BOX. Mmmmmmm.

If the cake has to be light brown, a caramel cake (aka burnt sugar cake) with caramel frosting would work. Maybe put some kind of crushed candy or chopped up candy bars between the layers? Serve it with some homemade vanilla bean ice cream.

[Just_Jane]

Heh. This post makes me think, someone needs to make some crazy gooey rich amazing cake in the SHAPE of an animal cracker, in honor of Stevehovah...

a cake made with that cookie butter spread made from cookies. I see recipes for cakes and treats using that stuff all the time on pinterest or the like. a cake made from cookies is a the ultimate of decadence

[Palimpsest]

Oh I cant wait to hear someone else's perspective. I was not totally prepared and was stunned by the whole thing. :pink-shock:

Just checking in while still digesting birthday cake. :D

Amyand4 Maxhell is really horrible isn't it? I'm so glad you were there on Friday to give your reaction. It makes me feel better about my reactions.

I thought I was very prepared, but I still found it truly upsetting.

Mr P was badly shaken by Stevo. He was also sort-of but not really prepared, despite my efforts. I think your and his reactions are really important. Mr P was genuinely angered. He is usually slow to anger.

[Peppercorn]

When Christopher Maxwell married Anna, Sarah blogged that as there was already an Anna Maxwell, Christopher's wife would henceforth be known as Anna Marie, Marie being her middle name. As the Maxwells like to fondly refer to their youngest five kids as their "reversal children", born after Steve's vasectomy reversal, we here at FJ refer to Anna Marie as NR (non reversal) Anna.

John Marie is a youngish man who visits with the Maxwells and makes occasional appearances on their blog. It has long been speculated that he may be a potential suitor for Reversal Anna. As the Maxwells already have a John this other young man must, in the opinion of FJ, be christened John Marie.

Does that make sense?

Shockingly, that does make sense! :lol: Which means I've either been reading too much of the Maxwell blogs or too much FJ. (Actually, I'd been wondering if John Marie was NR Anna's brother, so thanks for the explanation.)

Can't wait for the confusion if John Marie marries Reversal Anna. Will FJ have an NR vs R Anna Marie throwdown? NR Anna wins the Frumperwear round, but Anna excels in the posing-with-salad photo shoot.

[Peppercorn]

Thanks so much for the first (and future) Maxhell reports, Mrs. and Mr. P. (The same to the others who've also reported.) Fascinating and appalling.

Very interesting that they're looking for infiltrators. I wonder if they were especially on-guard, being in the ebil liberal Northeast. Hey there, Stevus! FJ is watching. :naughty:

Happy Birthday, Palimpsest!

[terranova]

Is it just me, or does the clean cut young man in the blue shirt, standing next to the young woman in a tan jacket look familiar?

[Triplet3]

Palimpsest, THANK YOU (and Mr P) so much for going along and providing such a wonderful report! I can't wait to read your next updates!

Just a thought (so ignore me if preferred) but please can you start a new thread for your Maxhell conference report installments? I think they deserve a thread of their own, without the distraction of chat about other Maxwell doings. :D

[OkToBeTakei]

Fabby job Palimpsest :dance:

Can't wait for next part. Happy, HAPPY Birthday also :D

[miffy]

Amazing, well done Palimpsest!!! :clap:

Was it romantic? :lol: I love engaging in sneaky hijinks with the MR.

[Divemaster01]

Loved it, you both were very brave and I eagerly look forward to future installments of your report. You both rock!

[nokidsmom]

Palimpsest, thank you for taking this on. Thoroughly enjoyed your report and looking forward to the Mr. P's take on Stevie's session.

Interesting about Stevie giving you the once-over in the greeting line then turning to your husband. Ugh, that's pretty rude IMHO.

I would consider going to one of these sessions if they end up in my area again; missed them last year due to being on vacation. Not just for FJ, but for my own curiousity as well. However, they seem to be on to infiltrators. Gotta be freaking Stevie out.

Also: Happy Birthday and enjoy cake!!! No animal crackers for you, must have cake!

[nokidsmom]

And many prisoners can look forward to a day they will walk away from prison as free men and women. For the Maxwell siblings, it's a life term with no parole.

This. And sadly, those kids have been indoctrinated to the point that they can't possibly walk away, which, for the adult children, they can legally do so. Maxhell is the perfect example of the saying "iron bars do not a prison make".

[Palimpsest]

Thanks for all the compliments, everyone. And for the birthday wishes and virtual cake. They are much appreciated. Mr P is feeling very proud of himself today and is enjoying his exalted status on FJ. As he should. We were both quite nervous yesterday. I very much doubt that we will ever do anything like that again. We are really not cut out for undercover work!

I'll be putting up parts 3 and 4 soon. They are almost done. I think I'll put them in this thread rather than start a new one as Triplet3 suggested. We shouldn't make it too easy for Steve to find them. He said something yesterday that absolutely convinced us that he reads here. I'll have to check with Mr P, because I've forgotten what it was.

To answer another couple of comments. I wasn't surprised that Steve greeted my husband first; I expected it. It is very consistent with my Fundie-lite childhood. The "once-over" was possibly checking for an FJ mole in a denim dress. We did stick out like sore thumbs given our ages. As it happens, the frumpy denim dress I mentioned earlier here was in the laundry so I wore an even frumpier ankle length beige dress instead. Sorry Steve!

I suspect that Steve quite enjoys being infiltrated. It is a way to bolster the persecution complexes of his followers. He's important enough to have infiltrators. Yuk!

[Palimpsest]

Report from Greenfield Post 3:

Mr P’s Opinion of Family Bible Time: Here’s How Guaranteed

This was written within 4 hours of Steve’s presentation. Typed up and some editorial comments in italics by me.

The content of Steve’s message will be no surprise to informed FJers. What negatively impressed Mr P was Steve’s demeanor. He vented in the car on the drive home, calling Steve’s performance repugnant, repulsive, grossly sexist, salacious, evil, vile, and bullying. Among other things. He was braced for the sexism and misogyny. He wasn’t prepared for the children being exposed to Steve’s particular brand of man-to-man talk. The expressions on those little boys’ faces pretty much broke his heart.

Of the 22 (23 minus Mr P) attendee dads, 6 were accompanied by little boys, aged between perhaps 2 and 6. One dad was wrangling 3 little boys. The moms and older children were decisively separated out from this session.

My most important observation during Steve’s session is that the interactions between the attendee Dads and their little boys at the Maxwell conference were wonderful. The love between the boys and their dads was apparent and real. Their interactions were tender and sweet.

So I found it painful and disturbing to hear from Steve, not once, not twice, but maybe 3 dozen times over the course of the hour that some number of them would (not might but would) be going to Hell to burn with Satan for all Eternity [sic]. I wondered how this news was falling on the ears of the little boys, especially the 5 and 6 year olds. And they were not just going to Hell. Their fathers, as spiritual shepherds of their families were choosing to lead them there by not doing what God wants. What is that? Well, not to put too fine a point on it, what Steve wants.

God/Steve wants Family Bible Time every single day. To slack off ever is to choose Hell.

God/Steve wants the “beast†of television gone from the home*. To own one is to choose Hell.

God/Steve wants the women occupied in another room while spiritual truths are told. “We have to talk man-to-man. If they were here, they’d be doing one of these,†he says with a wink and a nod, making elbowing and whispering behind the hand gestures.

So how did the little boys, who love their fathers, feel about learning that their mothers are silly distractions and that their whole family is damned if they still have a TV? Do they ask about these things on the drive home? What if they only have Family Bible time twice a week? Daddy doesn’t love us if that is so, it’s his choice. God/Steve says so.

We learn that “there are no excuses, only priorities.†Prioritize wrong and your family burns.

“Suffer the little children to come unto me†means choosing God through daily Bible study because only the Bible brings children to God. If you don’t do this it would be better for you if you’d never been born.

All of this is met with meaningful nods and the occasional Amen. But I look at the little boys’ faces and some of them are looking very nervous. Are they thinking of that illicit TV set at home?

Fifty six minutes in, the real sales pitch starts. Here’s the Powerpoint display of the books. The book that will make sure that you can lead your little flock’s Bible Study Steve’s way. The book to keep you committed and on schedule. The book to help your feckless wife stick to the chores. And home schooling, and, and, and . . .

A whole series of books to keep your children away from cravings for the TV!

For the first and only time during this hour someone actually interrupts Steve from the floor. (Oh, the temerity!)

It took me a couple of seconds to realize that this is a move that we all (all of us damned TV watchers, that is) have seen a million times before in infomercials. It is a “spontaneous†testimonial for the Moody books. “Steve, this is a bunch of men here.†Implying, no doubt, that real men don’t keep up with children’s literature. “So, can I ask, how many of you know these books? †3 or 4 hands go up. “Well, my kids adore them! When there’s a new one I better not [sic] come home without it!â€

It is time for the break, but Steve is not quite done. Steve's pissed.

God/Steve wants this group to know that it has a real problem with punctuality. At least 9 of the 23 of us wandered in after the official starting time!

Let’s have some respect for God and each other! Let’s set an example to the children by getting back to our seats in ten minutes. (Not the 15 minutes allowed in the schedule.)

Yes, Steve chastised the tardy dads in front of their children and cut recess short. Something tells me that the scheduling book is going to be a big seller this afternoon!

*(Regarding the “Beast†and the need for its banishment: Mr P was both amused and repulsed by Steve’s salacious and rather gleeful description of a truly evil ad that he once “accidentally†saw (before he saw the light) while watching something wholesome and Godly on TV. It was a scantily clad woman turning cartwheels. Oh, the defrauding horror!)

Afterthought: One little thing is nagging at my mind. I sort of get that TV is “the Beast.†I don’t even entirely disagree, although I probably know more about the Game of Thrones than Steve does about some parts of the Bible! (Mr P’s first degree was in Religious Studies, and Steve’s interpretation of Biblical texts made him alternately cringe and scoff!) But somehow the Internet, on which the Maxwell family business is run, is OK? Um, can’t we access all of TV, and then some, over the Internet? What about the Viagra spam and the hordes of beautiful Russian women I hear from daily who want to “meet†me? Just saying.

(Mrs P says that Mr P might want to have an IT person at work improve his spam filter. She says that she doesn’t get hordes of handsome men, Russian or otherwise, spamming her email. Shucks. Reading FJ does seem to increase the number of Christian Dating sites she sees online ads for, though! Perhaps we should give Poor Sarah a heads-up?)

[twin2]

Wow, that is disturbing. Words are failing me right now.

[Lillybee]

Very scary. I feel sorry for the attendees.