How to fit as many children as possible into a bedroom

[patsymae]

Hapmama, I grew up in a very small house with a blended family of 10 kids (9 in the house at the same time). It really wasn't that bad--my room just had enough room for a bed, dresser and small desk, but I only used it to sleep or study. The little kids had bunkbeds (four little boys in a larger room for a time). A couple of things, I think, made it not so uncomfortable. We had a different kind of way to use space than most Americans--ie., a couple of people could be in the same room doing different things (parents watching TV, somebody else reading, smaller kids playing a board game or trucks) and you didn't have to engage each other all the time just because you were in the same room--in other words, we were allowed psychic space even if there wasn't much physical space. Also, we all had lives outside of the home, which is mostly what the fundies are lacking. First of all, we all went to an actual school. And had activities such as sports teams and--gasp--things like CYO dances. And played in the park. And had actual friends and went to their houses. Aside from dinner, siblings interacted with one another when we wanted to, not all day every day because we were forced to. I agree, it's not the space, it's the lifestyle (and the crowing about how superior it is) that is the problem.

[Nothing2CHere]

Just reading over that daily schedule had me feeling claustrophobic, it's so confining! As homeschoolers, don't they ever do daytime field trips? I'd imagine they can't, then the daily chores that are interspersed throughout the schedule wouldn't get done.

[Want More Babies]

Besides, is it just me, or is the girls' room really babyish? The colour scheme and curtains look suitable for the twins, and maybe the six-year-old, but not the teenagers.

When I read this I went back and looked. At first glance I thought it was for girls maybe 8 and younger. Holy Shit, that is terrible. My oldest two are adults now and while a girl and a boy, they always had their own room and decorated it any way they wanted. My daughter didn't have a room that looked like that since she was 7 or 8.

[Cheetah]

So have you seen her post today? It's supposedly a how-to guide for nursing moms, but it turns out that she had a lot of problems with supply and pain and had to stop nursing pretty early. I have no issue with people who have to stop, but it's just funny that it's presented as a how-to.

[rollmeover]

Just reading over that daily schedule had me feeling claustrophobic, it's so confining! As homeschoolers, don't they ever do daytime field trips? I'd imagine they can't, then the daily chores that are interspersed throughout the schedule wouldn't get done.

It's a four day a week schedule, so they have one week day (I think I read Tuesday but I could be wrong) in addition to the weekend for activities, play dates, the social whirl etc. It sounds as if they do things pretty regularly but that Erika finds too much socialising difficult and exhausting.

[EmmieJ]

As I read over Erika Shupe's explanation of why it's so great to have children share a room, I just had to roll my eyes. I shared a room with two of my sisters growing up. It was fine. We didn't think anything of it. But it didn't teach me selflessness, generosity, responsibility, self-control, tolerance ("for another's breathing sounds and giggling"), blah, blah, blah.

What it did teach me:

Sneakiness: If you are going to sneak out of your bedroom to go sleep with an older sister because you had a bad dream, try to avoid the creaky floorboard, or else one of your sisters will wake up and want to come too.

Naughtiness: How fun it is to play dress up once you've been put to bed. How many ways can you tuck in, slip off one shoulder, hike up, etc. your nightie to create a new fashion???

How to count verrrrrrrrry slowly: We sometimes would all climb into one bed and scratch each other's backs. The one on the end who didn't have to scratch was to count to 100, then everyone would roll over.

I guess four younger kids to a room isn't too bad, but each child should have his or her own bed. As the kids approach age 12 or 13, I think that's when they ought to at least not have to share with more than one other sibling. I remember as my older sibs would move out of the house, we younger ones finally got our very own bedrooms. It was absolutely wonderful. A whole room to yourself, to decorate as you wish.

[Want More Babies]

You know, if they did something like this

(around the 2:00 mark) then it would be one thing. Instead of a big table, maybe a play area, or a couch to lounge on with a desk or two. It could be done up in a way that would be kind of nice, but then again, they would still need more space than what they have. They could have made the garage into one room and use one of the bedrooms as a room for their closet and then they could have taken another of the children's rooms and let them have the master bedroom.

When I was a single mom I lived in a tiny two bedroom home and both of my children had their own bedroom and I slept in the living room area that I used room dividers to make more private. It was very important to me that my children have their own "private" space to retreat to.

[Savoring Samsara]

So have you seen her post today? It's supposedly a how-to guide for nursing moms, but it turns out that she had a lot of problems with supply and pain and had to stop nursing pretty early. I have no issue with people who have to stop, but it's just funny that it's presented as a how-to.

Loving the note about how dads might not want to read the post because of modesty issues. Want to know a good way not to have success with breastfeeding? Make it into a modesty and sexuality issue when it absolutely isn't so that you feel self-conscious and ashamed about feeding your baby whenever and wherever they need it, and keep your partner safely ensconced behind the Nursing Cover of Fear and Ignorance so they don't understand what you're experiencing and can't help or support you in any way other than saying "let's just switch to formula, honey" as soon as you run into any problems.

[lizziesmom]

If the kids are sick they can choose to sleep on the bathroom floor with a blanket. :angry-banghead:

This sounds like she has been following the Kate Gosselin book of parenting. Any time one of her kids was sick, that's where they were parked.

[Feberin]

So have you seen her post today? It's supposedly a how-to guide for nursing moms, but it turns out that she had a lot of problems with supply and pain and had to stop nursing pretty early. I have no issue with people who have to stop, but it's just funny that it's presented as a how-to.

I wonder if her supply issue was partly due to the fact that they didn't do on-demand feeding? It actually makes me feel better to know her babies got formula due to her rule that they must sleep through the night at three months since formula takes longer to digest.

[tankgirl]

I didn't read her latest post, but having issues on a Babywise system keeping up a nursing schedule is the norm not the exception. On a Mother's forum, I got a die hard Babywiser to admit she had to do a ton of pumping to keep breastfeeding past a few months on the system. She tried to back track her statements, but I made sure she owned those words cause she is quick to sell this crap too. They all pimp it like it's a miracle but you can catch little lies or missteps in their spiel, and to try to keep other Mums from this sick method, I try to always catch them on the truth.

Also from that Mum and reading between the lines the strict schedule can be very hard on a family. When the kuds all eat, sleep and perform on such ridgid schedules, you rarely can actually get out. She has very small windows in her schedule to actually do much, no wonder going out is stressful.

[sandberry]

I would think her supply issue is entirely down to the fact she did 'parent directed' feeding instead of cue feeding. The sore nipples and gassiness also are known to be linked to infrequent feeding. As for the milk 'quality' issues!!!! breastmilk does NOT vary in quality. Sorry this post has enraged me, as a lactation consultant I have no issues with anyone making an informed choice to formula feed but why spread misinformation around. Hopefully noone is that influenced by her blog.

[nelliebelle1197]

A SINGLE JELLY BELLY??? What an evil bitch. It is inhumane to limit anyone to a single f'ing jelly bean.

[Nothing2CHere]

A SINGLE JELLY BELLY??? What an evil bitch. It is inhumane to limit anyone to a single f'ing jelly bean.

I was thinking the same thing - those are TINY.

[Odd1Out]

In the post about the kids sleeping times: she makes a big deal that absolutely all kids go to bed at the same time every night. They do not make exceptions. Then the next paragraph she states there is one kid who gets to stay up later because it ensures they nap during the day.

The *chuckle* *grin* after stating dad goes in and uses his parental authority is sadistic. This lady likes robots, not children. At the end of her life all she'll be able to look back on is her schedules and that they were followed. She won't ever remember spontaneous moments of fun with her kids. That is depressing.

[Feberin]

In the post about the kids sleeping times: she makes a big deal that absolutely all kids go to bed at the same time every night. They do not make exceptions. Then the next paragraph she states there is one kid who gets to stay up later because it ensures they nap during the day.

The *chuckle* *grin* after stating dad goes in and uses his parental authority is sadistic. This lady likes robots, not children. At the end of her life all she'll be able to look back on is her schedules and that they were followed. She won't ever remember spontaneous moments of fun with her kids. That is depressing.

Perhaps it'll all come back to haunt her in her old age when due to incontinance one of her kids put her in the bathroom and only feed her at scheduled times? *grins*

[awmom]

I would think her supply issue is entirely down to the fact she did 'parent directed' feeding instead of cue feeding. The sore nipples and gassiness also are known to be linked to infrequent feeding. As for the milk 'quality' issues!!!! breastmilk does NOT vary in quality. Sorry this post has enraged me, as a lactation consultant I have no issues with anyone making an informed choice to formula feed but why spread misinformation around. Hopefully noone is that influenced by her blog.

Yeah, that part made me especially furious too. She says: "I was producing the quantity of milk baby needed, but not enough quality for her by the end of the day." That is 100% due to her refusing to nurse her babies more than every 4 hours--you get lots of foremilk all stored up waiting to nurse and then baby's tiny tummy gets full before she can get to the fattier milk and it leaves her tummy full but her body hungry and gassy. All that crap about getting a "big meal" instead of "snacking"--like a small amount of breastmilk is a bag of doritos or something? The more often you nurse, the more milk you make and the more access baby has to the fattier hind milk to fill up her tiny tummy. Plus, it's just cruel. How many adults go 4 hours with NOTHING in their mouths? No food, no water, no coffee, no tea, no candy, no gum? Average for adults is 90 minutes. Like you, I have no problem with Moms choosing to formula feed but I hate that she is pimping this stupid schedule and then oh by the way, on an unrelated note, breastfeeding just never worked for me *smile*.

[Dollypeeps]

I couldn't get round her blog the * where doing my nut in.

[Sola]

So have you seen her post today? It's supposedly a how-to guide for nursing moms, but it turns out that she had a lot of problems with supply and pain and had to stop nursing pretty early. I have no issue with people who have to stop, but it's just funny that it's presented as a how-to.

So she scheduled fed and had problems with breast feeding due to low supply?

Wow, I wonder why? *sarcasm*

[Drina Adams]

Why do these homes always look so 'dead'? Pastels, old, date pine furniture and no signs of the children anywhere, even in their rooms. Surely if they are training their daughters to be keepers at home and their sons to provide a house, they could take some time out and show them how to repaint furniture to give it a new look or se new bedlinen and other textiles?

[Hembie]

Although this awful woman sound absolutely insane I feel compelled to defend trundle beds. I own a small vicotorian row house with 3 bedroom. We're about to have a surprise 4th baby.

If he's a boy he'll be joining the boys in their room that has a bunk bed with a trundle. It has the same mattress and it leaves more room room for play. Out of all of my conserns about having 4 kids. The trundle is the least. There is a room in the basement for a teenager later on but for now it'll work out just fine.

Other than that this woman makes me furious. Those poor twin girls.

[nelliebelle1197]

Although this awful woman sound absolutely insane I feel compelled to defend trundle beds. I own a small vicotorian row house with 3 bedroom. We're about to have a surprise 4th baby.

If he's a boy he'll be joining the boys in their room that has a bunk bed with a trundle. It has the same mattress and it leaves more room room for play. Out of all of my conserns about having 4 kids. The trundle is the least. There is a room in the basement for a teenager later on but for now it'll work out just fine.

Other than that this woman makes me furious. Those poor twin girls.

Did you look at the room pictures? That room with the trundle is UNSAFE. There is nothing to defend there. She has little concern for safety, and the trundle is an easy target. They have several rooms in a converted garage, a "playroom" and a large room for themselves. If the trundle was in a larger room, the comments would not have been as harsh.

[Hembie]

Did you look at the room pictures? That room with the trundle is UNSAFE. There is nothing to defend there. She has little concern for safety, and the trundle is an easy target. They have several rooms in a converted garage, a "playroom" and a large room for themselves. If the trundle was in a larger room, the comments would not have been as harsh.

There were other comments upthread that simply mentioned that trundles weren't ideal because each child wouldn't have a "permanant" feel of a bed. That's all I was responding too. I'm more of the opinion that beds are really only used for sleeping. I love the idea of a stowaway bed. That way it's out of the way during the waking hours. I certainly wasn't endorsing her life lifestyle. lol

Everything about this woman's house looks like a fire hazard, and I wouldn't trust my dog to her care. Plus she just seems like a nasty piece of work.

[ILoveJellybeans]

A SINGLE JELLY BELLY??? What an evil bitch. It is inhumane to limit anyone to a single f'ing jelly bean.

A single Jelly Belly??? Thats child abuse :o Everyone knows that the only acceptable amount of jellybean eating is at least a large handful. Although I limit my sister to one black one if the bag belongs to me, as theres not many black ones and theyre my favourite.

Why do these homes always look so 'dead'? Pastels, old, date pine furniture and no signs of the children anywhere, even in their rooms. Surely if they are training their daughters to be keepers at home and their sons to provide a house, they could take some time out and show them how to repaint furniture to give it a new look or se new bedlinen and other textiles?

Erikas home like the sort of thing you would see in a furniture store, Id be afraid to touch anything, mainly because of how sterile it looks, but also because she seems like the kind of person who would go completely mental if you got a fingerprint on something or moved something an inch to the left, and would be following you around with cleaning stuff to disinfect every surface you touched.

I think it represents how fundies see their children as inconvenient nuisances who should be seen and not heard, and take away their childhood. The bedrooms also say that personality doesnt matter, their children are just props and arent supposed to have feelings or thoughts of their own.

I think the main problem with this family's trundle bed is that there is literally no floor space at night. There are five people sharing that tiny bedroom and all of the floor space is beds. The kid sleeping there is very likely to get stepped on in the night by her sisters if they get up to go to the bathroom or something.

[Conuly]

It's not that I have anything wrong, in principle, with several children sharing a room, especially if that's what they prefer. Two bunk beds don't take up that much more space than two regular beds, and many families do find it practical to keep the toys out of the bedroom and limit the bedroom to sleeping.

But those rooms are so tiny! I would be hard pressed to consider them large enough for three kids, much less four or five! And sure, in the past people made do with much less space than we do today, but... There really IS no room for moving about in those rooms, is there? And it's not like they don't have any other place for the kids, right? When i was a kid, my dad was so obsessed with the idea of separate rooms for us (joke was on him, most nights found us both on the top bunk in my sister's room) that my parents slept in the living room. That's the point of parenthood, to sacrifice once in a while. I refuse to believe that either of those bedrooms was intended as the "master" bedroom, so why not give that one to the five girls and put the parents in the smallest room? They're only two people, and they have only one bed!