How to fit as many children as possible into a bedroom

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, youre right. Its such a cold living space, just walls of bunk beds (and a bed on the floor), no personality that would indicate anything about the children sleeping there. It feels so cold and empty...like bedrooms in an orphanage or something. You cant tell anything about the children's personalities or ages, other than that one room is boys and the other is girls, and you can only tell that from variations in the colour scheme. Theres hardly any toys out, no posters on the wall or drawings on display...nothing that shows individuality. On most blogs, even fundie ones, theres at least some indication of what the kids are like, even if its as simple as a few words describing personality/interests under their picture on the side, or some stories about the children which indicates a bit of personality.

[Hane]

I look at it and think "what if there were a fire?" The bunkbed pushed against the window...geez...you can't do that in dorm rooms, it's not allowed because of the need to use the window if there's a fire.

Also, I see no evidence of personality. You are just a BOY or a GIRL, with those attendant personalities. Nothing to distinguish post-crib-age from 15, either.

And at 14 and 15 years old to still have the same bedtime as your baby sisters...

The tone of the whole site is not written in a "we like having a big family, we want to help others with their big families so maybe they can learn from us instead of having to do it the hard way." It's written in a "we do it the only right way, and if you do it another way it's because you're wrong" kind of tone.

Also, the babies are in cribs but shouldn't be if they're climbing out. They're waiting for a tax return before getting safe sleeping quarters for their kids? Why not just put the crib mattresses on the floor? None of my kids have slept in a crib past 18 months because they climbed out. After that it was a mattress on the floor. Safe.

The universal bedtime thing pissed me off. I can understand Mom and Dad wanting to decompress and have some "us" or "me" time--but can't you accomplish that without treating your teens like toddlers?

My toddler was an early climber, too. The first time I caught her swinging her leg up over the crib bar, I converted her crib to a short-legged youth bed with side rails, STAT.

[tankgirl]

Yeah, youre right. Its such a cold living space, just walls of bunk beds (and a bed on the floor), no personality that would indicate anything about the children sleeping there. It feels so cold and empty...like bedrooms in an orphanage or something. You cant tell anything about the children's personalities or ages, other than that one room is boys and the other is girls, and you can only tell that from variations in the colour scheme. Theres hardly any toys out, no posters on the wall or drawings on display...nothing that shows individuality. On most blogs, even fundie ones, theres at least some indication of what the kids are like, even if its as simple as a few words describing personality/interests under their picture on the side, or some stories about the children which indicates a bit of personality.

I so agree that kids bedrooms look so sterile like the rooms aren't even lived in, I thought "model home" when I first saw them. Though I have seen those done more personal then what these kids have. The fact the only personalised decoration they are allowed (the grandma pillows) must even be covered during the day, to keep the "decor" is so sad. A drawer and a pillow that must never be seen is all these kids have. God I hate these people *giggle* *smack* my kid *giggle*. I don't have the words.

[Curious]

Hospitals only put NICU babies on a strict feeding schedule to make sure they feed at least every 3 hours and that's the "feeder-grower" babies. NICUs do not allow hungry babies to cry it out! The little ones get fed even more frequently! Nurse to patient ratios in the NICU are very high so nurses have plenty of time to feed the babies as they need it. In the feeder-grower rooms volunteers help feed the babies. Even daycare centers don't have any set routine for the babies until they turn 18 months. They feed on demand, get changed on demand and nap on demand (at least in my experience of 3 separate daycare facilities in 2 different cities).

Hospitals also are staffed 24/7 and feed babies around the clock, not just during daytime hours. My son was in NICU when he was born and I called to check on him every night a couple times in the wee hours since I am a bad sleeper under the best of circumstances and they always told me what time and how much he had eaten, once they were bottle feeding him.

Both my kids "slept through the night" when I brought them home from the hospital. By that, I mean then slept 7-8 hours at night, which was generally more than I slept, so for me it was definitely through the night and I got good sleep. Growth spurts were the only exception. They would sometimes wake up once during a growth spurt period, but then they usually slept a bit later, so it evened out. The down side of that, they were dreadful nappers, so it was harder to get stuff done during the day sometimes.

[slickcat79]

I so agree that kids bedrooms look so sterile like the rooms aren't even lived in, I thought "model home" when I first saw them. Though I have seen those done more personal then what these kids have. The fact the only personalised decoration they are allowed (the grandma pillows) must even be covered during the day, to keep the "decor" is so sad. A drawer and a pillow that must never be seen is all these kids have. God I hate these people *giggle* *smack* my kid *giggle*. I don't have the words.

Also, while I think it was really nice for grandma to make those pillowcases for the girls, that still doesn't give them a chance to show individuality. It didn't seem like they had any control over which fabric was chosen or who got what. It's not "adding your own personality" if the "personality" was chosen for you. Plus it would drive me NUTS to have to sleep on a flannel pillowcase when it's hot out.

Why not make it into a project? Take them to the store, let them choose their own fabric, and show them how to make pillowcases. They can learn a skill, have some mother-daughter time, and end up with a product that they actually had some say over. But I guess that's not the godly way to train up your blessings :roll:

Agree that they should consider giving their children the upstairs bedrooms. The master bedroom would be a much more reasonable size for the girls, and the "playroom" is bigger than either of the kids' rooms too. Then they would also have 2 bathrooms to share instead of one tiny one. I love how she constantly talks about how awesome it is to sacrifice and share space because it teaches character, but her kids are the only ones learning that lesson.

[Feberin]

Also, while I think it was really nice for grandma to make those pillowcases for the girls, that still doesn't give them a chance to show individuality. It didn't seem like they had any control over which fabric was chosen or who got what. It's not "adding your own personality" if the "personality" was chosen for you. Plus it would drive me NUTS to have to sleep on a flannel pillowcase when it's hot out.

Why not make it into a project? Take them to the store, let them choose their own fabric, and show them how to make pillowcases. They can learn a skill, have some mother-daughter time, and end up with a product that they actually had some say over. But I guess that's not the godly way to train up your blessings :roll:

Agree that they should consider giving their children the upstairs bedrooms. The master bedroom would be a much more reasonable size for the girls, and the "playroom" is bigger than either of the kids' rooms too. Then they would also have 2 bathrooms to share instead of one tiny one. I love how she constantly talks about how awesome it is to sacrifice and share space because it teaches character, but her kids are the only ones learning that lesson.

I wonder if Grandma didn't like how little individuality the kids were allowed to display and therefore made those pillowcases to give them something of their own.

[chaotic life]

I have a universal bedtime for my kids. My children are all supposed to go to their rooms at 8pm (most of them have to get up at 6am to catch the schoolbus). Most days that means I can get them to go away by 9pm. If they are still downstairs bugging me by 10 I am grumpy. I think my 4 year old is the only one that consistently goes to SLEEP at 8pm, but the point of the bedtime is that I need time in my living room to not be pawed by all of them and to work on MY homework at night--and to hopefully encourage the hooligans who constantly complain they are "tired" to actually sleep since they know Dad is gonna drag them back out of bed at 6am the next morning.

Non-school nights and summers, bedtime is 9pm (unless I'm desperate to get schoolwork done and they are totally distracting me). I'm afriad that a couple of kids stay up til like 1am during the summer but I just IGNORE that and have some quiet in my living room and go to bed at night as if they are all sweetly tucked into their beds and I WON'T find hoards of food missing when I wake up.

It's possible to sent them "to bed" and STILL let them have a life. I don't have any illusion that's what Erica is doing, but it's still entirely possible.

[hapamama]

You learn not to put things on the wall over your bed or put the headside of your bed beneath the window if you live in SoCal. When the 1994 Northridge quake happened we were lucky our windows didn't shatter and we were 30 miles from the epicenter. Our kids bunk beds were flat and my husband leaped like a super hero to get our son from the window area, his sister had her bed the other way so I just grabbed her and we held on for dear life.

Stacked beds, even attached to the walls with bolts can come down if the quake is big enough. But of course they'll never have a quake there.

I lived in the East San Gabriel Valley at that time. The head of my bed was near the window. I remember rolling to the foot of my bed and throwing my comforter over my head. That afternoon I moved my bed AWAY from the window.

Now I won't even hang framed pictures over beds, let alone a shelf.

[divadivine]

Her writing style makes me want to throat punch her. I want to comment on her blog and tell her the whole *smile* *giggle* *stupid comment between asterisk* is FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!!!!!! Somehow, I don't think she'd appreciate the words FUCKING ANNOYING!

[hapamama]

I'm going to be honest here. I have 5 kids. We live in a 2 bedroom condo right now because it's all we can afford without moving to podunk-ville or the ghetto. We have 4 kids in one bedroom and the youngest is in with us (although he also has a trundle in the kids room). It's not ideal or wonderful by any stretch of the imagination. It's not awful, but we'd like more space. The kids are in the largest bedroom, and they have waaaay more space, even with the trundle out, that those tiny bedrooms. I feel bad for those kids. My kids would feel bad for those kids.

I grew up sharing a bedroom with one or more of my sibs for most of my childhood, but we were never that desperately crowded.

Those nincompoops need to give the Master Bedroom to the boys, the little girls in cribs in the boys old room, leave the older 3 girls in the next largest room, and take what's left for themselves.

[Lillybee]

I wonder how the Duggars managed to fit 14-15 kids in a small three bedroom house. Was this ever shown on the show?

[Daisy]

I wonder how the Duggars managed to fit 14-15 kids in a small three bedroom house. Was this ever shown on the show?

The early 14 kids special showed it. They were crammed in like sardines. 1 room for boys 1 for girls. They had those bunk beds where the bottom part is a futon. Barely enough space between the beds to stand up. I think they had 3 kids sleeping on some of the futons

[bananacat]

I wonder how the Duggars managed to fit 14-15 kids in a small three bedroom house. Was this ever shown on the show?

They actually shared beds. Yes, they put two children (usually a girl and her younger buddy) into the same single bed. Now, when I was a kid I once had a sleepover with a friend who had a single bed and we tried to both sleep in it, but it so uncomfortable with limbs all over the place that I slept on the floor. I can't imagine that Jana ever got a wink of sleep with a squirmy toddler in her bed with her.

[Rowan]

- Each of our children has a water bottle that stays on the dining room table all day for them to drink from when ever they’re thirsty; our 11-year-old daughter fills them all every morning as part of her morning routine. This saves us needing a ton of glasses, and saves me time serving drinks of water all day long. And if they finish their 24 oz. water bottle in a day they get to have a Jelly Belly. *smile*

Ummm, only 24oz of water in a day? Unless they are drinking other things, that is not nearly enough for about ages 10 and up. I can polish off that much before lunch without a problem.

No breathing room, no personal keepsakes, and dehydrated. Such healthy living conditions. :?

[Verin Sedai]

Ummm, only 24oz of water in a day? Unless they are drinking other things, that is not nearly enough for about ages 10 and up. I can polish off that much before lunch without a problem.

No breathing room, no personal keepsakes, and dehydrated. Such healthy living conditions. :?

IDK if this is saying that is their LIMIT of water per day, or a goal she sets them to strive for (the reward for meeting the goal is my hint). My three year old is evidently part camel, she drinks so little, so I've actually been thinking of instituting some system or measured goals and rewards, just like having a sticker chart or what not for potty training.

[cate]

I need to stop reading her archives. She did a two post instruction manual on "Motherhood with Vitality!" that includes this gem:

I had become such a light sleeper with so many babies I was listening for, either on baby monitors in their own bedrooms, or in our nursery room adjacent to our bedroom (our master closet). And my husband's loud breathing and/or snoring would keep me awake for years. I didn't want to use ear plugs initially because I was afraid that I'd miss a child's call for me. But eventually I learned to trust the Lord that He would enable me to know when I was needed, or that Bobby would hear the calls for us, and I tried Mac's silicone ear plugs. Miraculous! I've used them for years now and I sleep so well!

[thoughtful]

I need to stop reading her archives. She did a two post instruction manual on "Motherhood with Vitality!" that includes this gem:

:shock:

Well, that's especially charming with the fire-hazard bedrooms. *sound of sirens* I just hope everybody else gets out if they ever have a fire. *rage*

[hapamama]

They actually shared beds. Yes, they put two children (usually a girl and her younger buddy) into the same single bed. Now, when I was a kid I once had a sleepover with a friend who had a single bed and we tried to both sleep in it, but it so uncomfortable with limbs all over the place that I slept on the floor. I can't imagine that Jana ever got a wink of sleep with a squirmy toddler in her bed with her.

You get used to sleeping with squirmy toddlers, the same way that you get used to sleeping with your partner in your bed... granted it's not likely you're going to wake up with your partner sleeping on your head the same way that a restless toddler sometimes will...

[Trynn]

Agreed; after a while your body would just shut itself down from all the exhaustion. Still couldn't have been pleasant, though.

[RosyDaisy]

This woman is just plain sadistic! A stray mama cat is a better mother!

[Curious]

Her writing style makes me want to throat punch her. I want to comment on her blog and tell her the whole *smile* *giggle* *stupid comment between asterisk* is FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!!!!!! Somehow, I don't think she'd appreciate the words FUCKING ANNOYING!

Maybe it'd be acceptable if you told her it was *fucking annoying* :wink-kitty:

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

Ericka seems to be a person who doesn't actually like children. It's all about managing them *frown* as opposed to enjoying them.

She would have made a great, childless, CEO of a large company in another life. And would have been a lot happier too I imagine *chuckle*

[Beammeup]

Maybe it'd be acceptable if you told her it was *fucking annoying* :wink-kitty:

Ditto! Use smilies if you want to convey emotions. Her *chuckles* are annoying :nenner: :angry-banghead: !

[skrmom]

I noticed the children are expected to sleep a lot-10 1/2 hours a night, plus 2 hour naps. 12 1/2 hours a day in bed. Seems excessive to an older child.

[ThatSnark]

I'm going to be honest here. I have 5 kids. We live in a 2 bedroom condo right now because it's all we can afford without moving to podunk-ville or the ghetto. We have 4 kids in one bedroom and the youngest is in with us (although he also has a trundle in the kids room). It's not ideal or wonderful by any stretch of the imagination. It's not awful, but we'd like more space. The kids are in the largest bedroom, and they have waaaay more space, even with the trundle out, that those tiny bedrooms. I feel bad for those kids. My kids would feel bad for those kids.

I grew up sharing a bedroom with one or more of my sibs for most of my childhood, but we were never that desperately crowded.

Those nincompoops need to give the Master Bedroom to the boys, the little girls in cribs in the boys old room, leave the older 3 girls in the next largest room, and take what's left for themselves.

But hapmama, you don't have a verbose blog trumpeting to the high heavens how much better YOUR way is than the typical American way of having 1-2 kids per bedroom. You don't have dozens of pictures on the Internet of your kids' stripped-down small bunks-only room, making sure we all know you've chosen this as the One Best Way.

I would also guess that you don't have them scheduled within an inch of their lives, or raising each other as Sister Moms. I don't think the lack of physical space is the real problem at Casa Shupe. It's the lack of life space for the children to grow into individuals.