Bates Courtship

[Stacie]

I'm very proud of my heritage. I mainly identify myself as Greek American, because my grandparents on my Dad's side were born there, Dad is fluent in Greek and actually passes for a Greek national when visiting there, I grew up in the Greek Orthodox Church and was very involved in Sunday School, competitive Greek Dancing, etc. I didn't marry a Greek (not for lack of trying but they all seemed to be mama's boys) but have continued the Greek traditions. Sadly, my son isn't as connected to it as I wish he was.

The other side of my family has been in the U.S. in one line back to the mid-late 1600's. That half of the family is Norwegian/German/Irish. Some of them were missionaries in Hawaii who chose to stay there after the Church recalled the missionaries because they love the people there and their way of life. Many of them crossed the plains by wagon train. I can trace direct ancestors back to the Revolutionary War.

So yes, I'm an American first, but identifying myself as "just" American seems just a little too....white bread for me I guess.

I think everyone, if they're able to find out about their history, should embrace it & learn about it, especially if their families have been here for a while. It's part of who they are.

[DarkAnts]

I think you are right, and in the US I think it does have that implied meaning... since heritage can still be a big thing here, even generations down the line. If I was talking to another American we'd probably exchange "I'm Irish" and "I'm Italian" without ever having lived in either of those countries and both understand that it means our family heritage/ethnicity. But abroad, it would be really weird for me to meet someone from Ireland and be all, "I'm Irish too!" That's a different context and outside America, it means that you actually live in that country. I've always identified myself as "American" abroad.

In New Mexico some people make it clear that they are of spanish dissent. They kind of look down on those who are of Mexican dissent.

[jaynie]

I tend to identify as British-Canadian even though I was born and raised in Canada (immigrant parents), but that's just because if I don't identify that way, people assume I was actually born in the UK. Not clarifying it seems like lying by omission, somehow. But I think a lot of it has to do with the way that many different cultural traditions exist in one country. For example, the way I celebrate holidays is different from the way my Ukrainian-Canadian friend celebrates holidays, which is different again from the way my Japanese-Canadian friend celebrates holidays. So to say "I'm Canadian" doesn't really explain anything about your culture. I guess it's a bit like Jewish atheists calling themselves culturally Jewish (even if they weren't raised to be religious).

I don't know many people who go more than a few generations back for this sort of thing though. And of the people I know, if they visit their ancestral country (like if I visit the UK), they tend to say "I'm Canadian with x-roots" as opposed to "I'm totally x because my great-grandfather was from here!" That might be our stereotypical good manners, though. ;)

[NerdyHil]

Agreed. I'm sure there are plenty of Americans who don't feel this way, but I get the sense that a lot of us have a need to identify with some sort of more enduring cultural heritage than just the past couple hundred years. I certainly do, which is why I've spent a decent amount of time playing around with genealogy from time to time. I'm fortunate enough to have had a great-aunt who was an accomplished amateur genealogist, so at least for half of my family tree, I know that, going back to the 16th century, I'm a mix of Irish/Scottish/German/Dutch/English, with a tiny bit of Swedish thrown in. Not enough of any one thing for me to ever say "I'm Irish" or "I'm Irish-American," but I've nonetheless been one of those American tourists in Ireland feeling a deep connection to the land where at least some of my ancestors came from. It definitely gave me a special feeling I wouldn't have gotten from visiting a country my family doesn't have roots in. (And, on a separate note, I freaking loved it there and would move there in a heartbeat!)

My theory is that no one is thinks they are more Irish than an Irish-American. They may have never been to Ireland, their family may have been in this country for over a hundred years, but they will be the ones with the flags and the bad imitation accents.

My grandmother came over from N.Ireland when she was a kid. We have family there that we're in contact with. In my part of the country immigration isn't that far removed from life now. It's the Jello Belt.

[missy-moo22]

i live in wicklow (the garden county ) in ireland , the summer here is brilliant with all the american tourists finding their roots, they are great fun , not that you would know it is summer !!!! its so green here because of all the rain :D

[pudding]

Is there really an age gap? (4-5 years is no gap for me)

I don't think he is 30.. Why would he add Erin to his "updated-2008-bio" and not change his age at the beginning? To me he seems to be 25?

from 12paines.com/about/chad/ :

My name is Charles Stephen Paine III…better known as Chad. =) I am 25 years old and have five brothers and fours sisters…each one a blessing from the Lord.

[...]

Just recently, God has brought the Girl of my Dreams into my life! I am so very blessed and honored to be courting Erin Bates! =) We are both excited about what God has in store for Us in the future!

Anyway, 21 + 30 would still be fine to me! Even 21 + 35 I wouldn't judge :D

Hope to hear more from them soon!

[HereticHick]

Chad sounds like he's a little down in his new blog post. Hope its not over Erin. Maybe its over difficulties in finding a job to support her. I do find their puppy love refreshing.

[3 ring circus]

Wow, it sounds like they broke up! I wonder if they did.

[HereticHick]

That was my first thought as well. I hope not. And he didn't use his so cute "I love Erin" signature either.

[Megan]

The post seems to be a daily reflection by Oswald Chambers, not Chad's own work.

ETA: here's the post on another website utmost.org/taking-the-initiative-against-despair/

[Mellanya]

I don't think they broke up. His newest post had the "I love Erin" signature again.

Also I realized that on the Bate's family blog, Erin is in only one of the pictures, but there are multiple other pictures (including a full family picture) where she's missing. Also it seems like Chad is back from his trip. Maybe she's actually visiting him or something or they're hanging out. Who knows.

Either way I doubt they broke up. For the first time ever I see a fundie couple which genuinely seems to enjoy each others company and feels comfortable with each other. The pictures look very natural - You can't even tell Erin and Chad are fundies from their pictures imo.

Since they seem so happy, I really wish they'll work out and have a happy relationship without too much "submit" stuff.

[HereticHick]

I am also hoping for the best for them. I am glad that she's got a cute guy who loves her & seems willing to work hard. And she at least has a marketable skill (piano lessons) & it seems understood that she's going to do that work while married.

I'd rather hang out with Chad than with Josh Duggar any day. I kind of feel sorry for her old brother Zach having to watch her successful courtship--but wow, there's a world of difference between the chemistry between these 2 versus Zach and Sarah.

[pudding]

1.bp.blogspot.com/-VP3z6EtiOv0/USQvJKEVoYI/AAAAAAAAGBE/hrDOH809EN0/s1600/bolivia+trip.jpg

Cute! And this time the signature says "love", not only <3!

[sunshine]

I don't think they broke up. His newest post had the "I love Erin" signature again.

Also I realized that on the Bate's family blog, Erin is in only one of the pictures, but there are multiple other pictures (including a full family picture) where she's missing. Also it seems like Chad is back from his trip. Maybe she's actually visiting him or something or they're hanging out. Who knows.

Either way I doubt they broke up. For the first time ever I see a fundie couple which genuinely seems to enjoy each others company and feels comfortable with each other. The pictures look very natural - You can't even tell Erin and Chad are fundies from their pictures imo.

Since they seem so happy, I really wish they'll work out and have a happy relationship without too much "submit" stuff.

I read some of the Pearl blogs. It seems that fundie young men are chosing women outside the fundie lifestyle because it is easier to court them. This means fundie women are sitting at home waiting for someone brave enough to approach their father and go through his torture.

[xReems]

Agreed-compared to Zach and Sarah's courtship, Erin and Chad do love each other and have no problem expressing it. Kelly is a lot of things but I do like where she said in one of her responses to a commenter that she thinks getting engaged just after 2 months of courting is not enough time to know one another. My guess is that Chad and Erin are going to take things slow and enjoy this phase of their relationship before taking the next step. My guess is that Chad might end up proposing to her by the end of the year, once Erin is done with school.

[browngrl]

I think that the courtship is still on and moving forward. This is a comment from Chad's Feb 18 post:

AnonymousFebruary 19, 2013 at 8:39 AM

Awe...Chad, This is encouraging! =') Thank you so much! I love you! <3 <3

~Yg <3

Psalm 121:1-2

I'll bet dollars to donuts that Yg stands for your girl and that this commenter is Erin.

[pudding]

I'll bet dollars to donuts that Yg stands for your girl and that this commenter is Erin.

yup! thought so too! :D

[Mela99]

I wonder if Boob will try and arrange a marriage to beat them to the punch.

They do seem happy, though. I just hope Erin doesn't have ten foot high hair on her wedding day

[marmalade]

Wow, it sounds like they broke up! I wonder if they did.

The link to the Bateses' blog is dead. I think there may be more trouble in Bates paradise.

[sophrosyne]

The link to the Bateses' blog is dead. I think there may be more trouble in Bates paradise.

Their old link is dead. Here's a live one to their newer website: http://thebatesfamily.com

And to their blog: http://blog.thebatesfamily.com

[IReallyAmHopewell]

My guess is that Chad and Erin are going to take things slow and enjoy this phase of their relationship before taking the next step. My guess is that Chad might end up proposing to her by the end of the year, once Erin is done with school.

I would imagine there's been a lot of "Sweet, sweet FAMILY fellowship" this time before a courtship was considered. :lol: I do wonder how these guys will support a wife let alone a wife and a zillion kids and be debt free.

[Dandruff]

I wonder if Boob will try and arrange a marriage to beat them to the punch.

I think at this point it's looking odd that they're attending other people's weddings without any Duggar daughters even in a courtship. I feel especially bad for Jana, since it can't be easy looking happy while younger friends are being courted and married.

[Chibi Author]

I know that they're fundies and all, but I'm really rooting for them. Chad seems pretty likable, and I'm finding Erin to be more likable, now, too. And they're completely adorable together.

I'm also rooting for this getting some of the Duggar girls courting, too. :D

[catmom12]

In Chad's last post, he explained their codes. yf=your fella, hf=her fella, and yg=your girl. He only uses yf when writing to Erin.

In the comments, Erin used her full name and called Chad "sweetheart".

[HereticHick]

I am with Chibi Author-- I can't help it, but the adorableness of these two is off the charts. I wonder if they aren't rarin' to get married RIGHT NOW, and mom and dad are saying "slow down, you two" (Good for Gil and Kelly, if so)

I like that Chad wears jeans & tshirts while working, instead of the stoopid fundy uniform of khakis & buttoned up polo.

[Full disclosure: Mr. HereticHick wears khakis & polos all the time too, but that's because he's just a lovable dork who is stuck in a fashion rut]