I love my large family facebook page

[tankgirl]

I hate wooden spoons. It took years before I could have them in my kitchen without my first thoughts being of being hit with one.My Mom loved to hit with them, and if you broke one smacking your kid, they were cheap to replace. Some people are so nasty.

[Wolfie]

"Let" the kids eat butter.... this is a punishment? I'm so confused. Two whole sticks of butter?

These people are not just cruel (with the picking a switch off the tree and switching them good), but just plain old weird.

As a child I would have been in heaven with this punishment. I was an odd child.

[bananacat]

The title of the page should be "I hate my large family". These people do not treat their children in a loving way.

[Witsec7]

.kids are our world thats who we are....

I find this sad. And perhaps foretelling, some of these mother's will not let their children go. Their kids become their sole identity.

[emmiedahl]

I find this sad. And perhaps foretelling, some of these mother's will not let their children go. Their kids become their sole identity.

God I hope not. They are for the most part doing a stellarly (not a real word :D ) shitty job of raising their kids. I would hate to think they are failing at the only thing they really care about.

[chaotic life]

I *was* on that FB page. It drove me batty and I had to get it OUT of my FB feed. I find if I let myself hang out with really negative, punitive parents then I tend to become more negative and punitive with my kids. My kids do MUCH better when I'm being a good, loving, and respectful mother.

I HATE large family dynamics where mothers are miserable and really do have their identities totally wrapped up in their kids. This is what made me a very BAD QF mother. I cannot count the number of times in QF circles I have seen a woman cry out that she was overwhelmed and could not go on.....only to be told to suck it up because God wouldn't give her more than she could handle. I love my kids, and when I started to feel overwhelmed, I STOPPED. I also had a plan from the get-go to make certain I never got stuck in the trap of having no identity outside of my kids. I still lost myself quite a bit, but when the last baby was one, I was back in the classroom, finishing my Bachelors. I had to take a slight detour with my son's health but I'll back on track again by spring.

There are some large families that are truly happy. I like to think my family falls in that category. There are others, especially in the QF circles where mom is totally overwhelmed, miserable, and really her progency IS all of her self identity so she has to take pride in that which drives her batty.

[Mommy22alyns]

I still don't understand the butter thing. :?:

[itsnikki05]

I still don't understand the butter thing. :?:

Me either. I was the weird kid who ate butter as a child. :roll:

[Lala29]

I still don't understand the butter thing. :?:

Well, these are large families, so it's most likely margarine. With the cost of butter nowadays, I don't think using 2 sticks as punishment would be a good idea. To be honest though, one stick I can imagine would be lovely on crackers/bread. 2 would make me sick to my stomach. Maybe it's a quantity thing? Or maybe that poster was using sarcasm on them. lol

I also want to punch whoever uses the trite phrase "God never gives you more than you can handle". Really? All those children being raped and mutilated in the world can 'handle' it? Really? All those parents who watch their children starve or die from easily treatable diseases can 'handle' it? It's such a weak ass thing to say to someone. All it does is let the person who said it 1) feel like they are saying something good (look how strong you are!), and 2) feel safe that it won't happen to them, since they are not that 'strong'.

/vent over.

[Witsec7]

Me either. I was the weird kid who ate butter as a child. :roll:

I didn't get it either and there was never an explanation.

[thoughtful]

I didn't get it either and there was never an explanation.

Maybe because it makes the children sick to their stomachs, and they are too busy vomiting to be "bad."

;)

In any case, it's definitely snarkable and memorable. Maybe we need an FJ t-shirt that says "Let them eat butter!"

[Glass Cowcatcher]

Maybe because it makes the children sick to their stomachs, and they are too busy vomiting to be "bad."

;)

In any case, it's definitely snarkable and memorable. Maybe we need an FJ t-shirt that says "Let them eat butter!"

Is that not outright dangerous? What is eating that much butter, especially if it's regular ,going to do to a child's body?

[Lala29]

Is that not outright dangerous? What is eating that much butter, especially if it's regular ,going to do to a child's body?

Give them the calories they otherwise might not be getting?

[Witsec7]

Give them the calories they otherwise might not be getting?

But this crazy was using it as a means of discipline.

[thoughtful]

Is that not outright dangerous? What is eating that much butter, especially if it's regular ,going to do to a child's body?

It certainly sounds unhealthy, disgusting, and possibly dangerous to me. The very thought makes me shudder, and I love butter.

As I said, snarkable and memorable. I think it's one of the more bizarre quotes ever brought up on FJ, and that's saying a lot!

edited for riffle

[emmiedahl]

But this crazy was using it as a means of discipline.

I would have very fat and disobedient kids if I punished with butter.

It never fails to disturb me that women who do not like children continue to have more. I am friends with non-fundies with large families and they all love being parents and simply adore their children. It is not some obligation but rather a super fun part of their life that they chose. I always wanted a large family, and I stopped having children when my resources and energy would not allow another. I have relatives who plan on a large family and use birth control to space the pregnancies. They decide to have another when their lives have calmed down and the youngest has had an adequate amount of time as the baby. And they plan to stop when they reach a point where they are maxed out. There is nothing abnormal about wanting a houseful of children, but it certainly is abnormal to *not* want a houseful of children and still choose that.

While I am on my soapbox, what is up with the *children* making the sacrifices? Shouldn't the parents be the ones going without? I would give up my own bedroom and sleep on the couch if it meant not having to store my children under the stairs.

[SoybeanQueen]

I wonder if eating two sticks of butter would make the kid sick? I imagine all that grease would... well, there's no polite way to say it. I bet it would come out of one end or the other in a big hurry.

I have a big-ish family, and more than half of mine joined us through foster adoption. The ones with food issues would be in heaven if I handed them butter to eat, because they honestly do not care what they eat. One of them will pick up food off the floor at Target, like a stray piece of popcorn that someone else dropped, and eat it. Giving him butter? Ha. Not a punishment. We don't hit in this house, either. I could cry thinking about getting a branch to switch my babies' legs.

The braxton-hicks thing hasn't ever really crossed my mind, since I haven't birthed that much, myself, but I wonder about the after-pains. Everyone says they get worse with every pregnancy. After my second, I thought I was going to die of afterpains. I talked to a mother of 9 once who said it was like labor all over again after she had her 9th. Holy crap. Screw the worn out uterus. I'm not dealing with that after-labor nonsense unless I can have an epidural to go.

[roddma]

I posted something about baby addiction and if they want to fulfill it why not work in daycares, babysit etc. I guess it is the same page.

[kb2]

While I am on my soapbox, what is up with the *children* making the sacrifices? Shouldn't the parents be the ones going without? I would give up my own bedroom and sleep on the couch if it meant not having to store my children under the stairs.

This times a thousand.

[ADoyle90815]

As someone who wet the bed way, way, WAY too long (it tapered off in my early teens but I did it a few times in my later teen years and once more when I was 20), it always makes me angry to see people punishing their children for bathroom-related problems. It could be nerves, it could be sickness, it could be a disorder (IBS?). Ya never know. It's humiliating enough, why push the shame even further? :(

Same here, only in my case it was because I would sleep so soundly that even a full bladder wasn't enough to get me to wake up. Eventually, it was something that was outgrown after puberty. Back to the topic, it really is humiliating enough for a child to go through that, but shaming makes things worse. What I think is sad is parents who didn't really want children going on to have more and more of them.

[thiscouldabeenme]

We don't have a large family, and I've never been to a Gothard conference although I sure as heck was raised "fundie" (i.e. swimming in JEANS, no mixed bathing, no dancing, private christian school, etc). However, we used the Babywise method (by the Ezzos) for all four of our children and I don't have one bad thing to say about it. We only used the "eat wake sleep" thing, not the "couch time" or "sign language" etc, but it was fabulous and I would recommend it to anyone.

Fire away............

[Witsec7]

We only used the "eat wake sleep" thing

Yea really, why bother feeding a child merely because its hungry. :roll:

[bananacat]

I posted something about baby addiction and if they want to fulfill it why not work in daycares, babysit etc. I guess it is the same page.

I can't decide whether this is naive or offensive. Daycares don't hire just anyone. It requires skill and education. It's not just some throwaway job that anyone can do so long as they know how to change a diaper. Having kids or caring for siblings doesn't automatically make someone qualified to work in a daycare.

[emmiedahl]

We don't have a large family, and I've never been to a Gothard conference although I sure as heck was raised "fundie" (i.e. swimming in JEANS, no mixed bathing, no dancing, private christian school, etc). However, we used the Babywise method (by the Ezzos) for all four of our children and I don't have one bad thing to say about it. We only used the "eat wake sleep" thing, not the "couch time" or "sign language" etc, but it was fabulous and I would recommend it to anyone.

Fire away............

Please stop breeding now if the public denouncement of the Ezzos by the American Pediatric Society and the fact that babies have had failure to thrive because of your "fabulous" program did not deter you.

A hungry baby is in pain. A baby lying alone in a crib is scared. Your own convenience should not be worth your baby being in pain and afraid. If it is, like I said, please stop breeding. You are one of the "wants to have a huge family but does not give a damn about children" people I mentioned earlier in the thread.

[Witsec7]

Please stop breeding now if the public denouncement of the Ezzos by the American Pediatric Society and the fact that babies have had failure to thrive because of your "fabulous" program did not deter you.

A hungry baby is in pain. A baby lying alone in a crib is scared. Your own convenience should not be worth your baby being in pain and afraid. If it is, like I said, please stop breeding. You are one of the "wants to have a huge family but does not give a damn about children" people I mentioned earlier in the thread.

I wish we had a like button. :clap: :clap: