I love my large family facebook page

[Coconut Flan]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:

The daily humor fix from that bunch.

[Witsec7]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :roll: :roll: :lol: :lol: :lol:

The daily humor fix from that bunch.

The thread over there that really got me going was the multiple Csection one last spring. One woman had 11 Cs. Most averaged 8.

[MrsKay]

Well that's great, but no one here was snarking on their organizational tricks or mad budgets skills. We were discussing the ones that grossly mistreat their children. So again, how does that make FJ anti-family?

If you want to post there go right ahead, but personally I wouldn't cast my lot with a group that receives child abusers so well.

I have never said that FJ is anti-family - not in seriousness. I was being sarcastic - that's where the whole eye-rolling thing comes into play. I've only posted once or twice there, offering my two cents on storage etc. that doesn't involve taking room or belongings away from kids who don't have enough of either. Aside from a couple of friends who I saw had "liked" the page (who I have never seen actually posting anything), I don't know or speak to anyone there. I happen to personally like large families; according to people my age that I know personally, I HAVE a large family, but I'd like more children. I found the page before I saw it being discussed here, glanced at it a few times hoping to see some helpful tips and advice - because I prefer to have my shit together and be prepared before I (hopefully) expand my family any further - saw very little discussions of any kind at the time, other than something I posted on, about keeping toys organized, and went on my way to whatever else I do online.

I saw the thread here, went back to find what was being discussed, and was completely disgusted along with everyone else. I do not support people like that whatsoever, and will not hesitate to tell them so. However, if the only examples of large families, or of people who are in favor of large families, are nutcases who store their kids like luggage and treat them like garbage, then those are the families who will always come to mind when large families are discussed. I personally prefer to show people that there are actually mothers who have/hope to have larger families, who do NOT treat their kids like that, and who are NOT sucked into a lifestyle of Bible-thumping patriarchy.

[BoomerLynn]

The thread over there that really got me going was the multiple Csection one last spring. One woman had 11 Cs. Most averaged 8.

:shock:

[Koala]

I have never said that FJ is anti-family - not in seriousness. I was being sarcastic - that's where the whole eye-rolling thing comes into play.

Umm, this was your original quote:

The page is actually on my "like" list - my family may not be big (yet), but some people are sane and have really good ideas on managing things. I had no idea that I was actually a spy - so we can't be from FJ AND be pro-family? That's news to me...

You come across as very serious, and I don't know if you've noticed, but the eye rolling you speak of isn't there.

Like I said, I don't care if you want to post with those folks...really don't, but lots of posters from FJ have a gaggle of children, so to imply that you can't be from FJ and be "pro-family" is really ridiculous.

[MrsKay]

Oops - I was sure I had posted the eye rolling smiley. My bad. Personally, I feel that the words that you highlighted are pretty obvious sarcasm, esp. given the last few words; I was saying exactly the same thing that you said: "to imply that you can't be from FJ and be "pro-family" is really ridiculous." I apologize if it was not clear enough.

[roddma]

I don't think FJ is intending to be anti-family. ChaoticLife made a good point. I would say 8/10 larger families are for religious reasons. Others are simply born out of a sick baby addiction. When someone leaves a patriachal lifestyle it is hard to find normal larger families. I am sure there are some but the groups somehow get overrun with Quiverful/Patriarchal types.

[MrsKay]

I don't think FJ is intending to be anti-family. ChaoticLife made a good point. I would say 8/10 larger families are for religious reasons. Others are simply born out of a sick baby addiction. When someone leaves a patriachal lifestyle it is hard to find normal larger families. I am sure there are some but the groups somehow get overrun with Quiverful/Patriarchal types.

QFT. I have never said, seriously, that FJ is anti-family - someone else did, and I made a sarcastic comment that obviously was not sarcastic enough. I, along with a few others I know personally, love families with lots of kids, and we are totally NOT Quiverfull (I know there are several of us here, but I'm just going by my list on FB). However, it's virtually impossible to find any group of large families without also finding a pile of Patriarchal assholes. I'd like to see that change, so if it means some of us Pagan or otherwise-not-fundie moms get trampled in order to make people realize that family does not always = fundie, then I'll consider it a worthwhile contribution.

Edited for riffle. :-?

[Deleted01]

QFT. I have never said, seriously, that FJ is anti-family - someone else did, and I made a sarcastic comment that obviously was not sarcastic enough. I, along with a few others I know personally, love families with lots of kids, and we are totally NOT Quiverfull (I know there are several of us here, but I'm just going by my list on FB). However, it's virtually impossible to find any group of large families without also finding a pile of Patriarchal assholes. I'd like to see that change, so if it means some of us Pagan or otherwise-not-fundie moms get trampled in order to make people realize that family does not always = fundie, then I'll consider it a worthwhile contribution.

Edited for riffle. :-?

I know four large families that were in a homeschool co-op with me, none of whom are remotely fundie. They are out there. ;) I'm slightly above average with my 3 children. I tried to have the statistical ".5" child but it didn't work. If I could just deliver babies without having to be pregnant, I might've had a couple more. I am not a very "glowing" pregnant woman.

[Mommy22alyns]

These women really could care less if they leave their children motherless, could they? I have had 4 pregnancies. Numbers 1 and 2 were normal, healthy pregnancies (even though they they were close together). Pregnancy nunber 3 was twin boys that passed away when they were born at only 21 weeks. 3 months later I found out I was pregnant with my last child. She was born 2 months premature. All but my twins were c-sections. With my last I realized that my uterus just couldn't handle any more strain so I had my tubes tied. I wanted to be able to be there for my kids. I would have loved at least one more but I feel it is more important to be here for the children I already have. If one of these women dies in their relentless pursuit of more babies how are their remaining children going to feel? Are they going to spend their lives wondering why they weren't enough?

Careful, you might be making sense!

Seriously, I feel the same way. I had serious complications with my 2nd that have a 25-30% chance of recurrence and that's just more risk than I care to take.

[Witsec7]

There is an interesting thread there today that isn't the usual where do I put them and how do I feed them question.

Having trouble with my 8yo DD waking up in the night afraid of spiders, snakes, aliens, etc. She is normally very rational but logic is not working on this one. I don't like to validate her fears with magic monster spray or other play-along alternatives. Any other successes out there?

Some responses I find snarkworthy:

As Catholics, we have great success with reminding the kids that their guardian angels are always with them, sprinkle the room with holy water (they love this), and remind them to pray "Jesus & Mary, protect me" if they are scared. Plus, they always room with another sibling so that helps too. And the ones over 7-years-old have their scapulars which they can kiss and feel our Blessed Mother's protection upon them.

Don't know where you stand on a spiritual perspection, but if you are a Christian and she has accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior, then she has the authority of Jesus Christ to deal with those fears.

Pray out loud and with her over her in the name of Jesus Christ for protection in her dreams. The Bible clearly states how to protect ourselves against the forces of darkness.

I have had a son with night terrors on and off for a couple of years...started after he was toilet trained and it would usually happen before he needed to get up and go. I would do this if he couldn't go back to sleep, or crying. the worst night was when he slowly turned his and said I hate you in a very creepy tone. I prayed hard that night.

[lilith]

Of course. Convince her that the monsters she fears are forces of darkness out to get her soul and that only praying to Jesus will protect her, instead of calming her by showing her that monsters don't exist and that nothing wants to harm her.....

Eight is quite old for those sort of night terrors. Perhaps being raised in an environment of superstition and magical thinking are part of what is causing the issue to begin with.

[valsa]

Eight is quite old for those sort of night terrors. Perhaps being raised in an environment of superstition and magical thinking are part of what is causing the issue to begin with.

I'm reminded of the adult Pearl child who believes she's a "prophetess" due to her frequent post-apocalyptic dreams where she's being hunted down by all-powerful groups of evil people who want to kill her. Which I'm sure have absolutely nothing to do with the fact she was raised by sadists who looked for every opportunity (and even manufactured some) to hurt and terrorize their children.

Who wants to bet this little girl has been told all her life that there's a red-skinned goat man who is constantly attacking her soul and trying to turn to her the side of evil with the help of his demonic minions? Yet they think it's odd she's afraid of monsters.

[NurseNell]

There is an I Love My Large Family page with only one post. There is I Love My Large Family, Yes They're All Mine but I don't see today's post about the 8 y.o. waking up afraid of spiders, etc. Am I blind or on the wrong page?

edited to add, found the post, it was from a few days ago, just needed to look further.

[2xx1xy1JD]

There is a variety of people on that page, including some non-religious, I think, but there is an increasingly loud contingent of the scary/unpleasant type.

I was particularly saddened by the 5 yo with poop issues. Btdt with my oldest. It wasn't "rebellion" on his part, or him trying to control. He didn't need punishment, he needed my help (to get the constipation, and his fear, sorted out). I am not proud of myself that I didn't realize that at first. I am sad that I was so clueless. :(

My nephew had poop issues. Thankfully, my sister isn't into cruelty. Instead of spankings or humiliation, he was taken for professional evaluations. A radical change in diet and autism therapy addressed the problem.

[B5SnowDog]

To me, this:

...sprinkle the room with holy water (they love this)

sounds an awful lot like this:

I don't like to validate her fears with magic monster spray or other play-along alternatives.

[ILoveJellybeans]

Yeah, it does, I dont think that was what she was looking for.

In the end, whether you say its holy water that will make God and angels protect you, or magic monster spray that scares away monsters, its still pretty much the same thing...and we dont even know whether this particular family is Christian.

[chaotic life]

FWIW, we had repairs being done on our house this summer. Around the same time, my preschooler started telling us *every night* that bats were coming into his room at night. We thought it was nightmares. DH ran around 'scaring the bats away' and then we gave him a can of bat spray.

Yeah, we should have looked a LITTLE harder. The contractor left our upstairs wide open for a week over the 4th and two weeks later a nearly dead BAT came out of his bedroom and flew around until collapsing so we could get it moved out of the house.

MAYBE the best thing would be to get to the bottom of why they are having nightmares and then do whatever it takes to help them feel safe again. At 8, a nest on mom and dad's bedroom floor can do wonders for nightmares.

[Koala]

FWIW, we had repairs being done on our house this summer. Around the same time, my preschooler started telling us *every night* that bats were coming into his room at night. We thought it was nightmares. DH ran around 'scaring the bats away' and then we gave him a can of bat spray.

Yeah, we should have looked a LITTLE harder. The contractor left our upstairs wide open for a week over the 4th and two weeks later a nearly dead BAT came out of his bedroom and flew around until collapsing so we could get it moved out of the house.

MAYBE the best thing would be to get to the bottom of why they are having nightmares and then do whatever it takes to help them feel safe again. At 8, a nest on mom and dad's bedroom floor can do wonders for nightmares.

Such a good point.

When I was about 5 I started telling my mom I was seeing angels and spiders on my bedroom wall. She got really frustrated and thought I was just trying to stay up. Turned out I was hallucinating from a medication I was on.

[ilovetchotchkes]

FWIW, we had repairs being done on our house this summer. Around the same time, my preschooler started telling us *every night* that bats were coming into his room at night. We thought it was nightmares. DH ran around 'scaring the bats away' and then we gave him a can of bat spray.

Yeah, we should have looked a LITTLE harder. The contractor left our upstairs wide open for a week over the 4th and two weeks later a nearly dead BAT came out of his bedroom and flew around until collapsing so we could get it moved out of the house.

MAYBE the best thing would be to get to the bottom of why they are having nightmares and then do whatever it takes to help them feel safe again. At 8, a nest on mom and dad's bedroom floor can do wonders for nightmares.

THIS. The week the new baby came home? Tchotchke toddler started to have nightmares. LIke, waking up screaming and inconsolable. He's now got a mattress on the floor next to our bed that he's welcome to sleep in whenever he wants.

[chaotic life]

I will point out that we didn't exactly IGNORE the preschooler. We did everything we thought was reasonable to allay his fears, including letting him sleep with us when he woke up from his nightmares every single night for nearly a month. OMG I was never SOO grateful I let scared kids sleep in my room after we found that bat! I cannot grasp how badly I would have felt if the thing bit my child. It's not exactly like you think it's REAL when your kid complains of what amounts to monsters in their room at night. We didn't punish or shame him, we tried to help him feel safe and secure. Well no bloody wonder he only felt safe and secure in OUR ROOM, there really was a live BAT in his room, flying around at night and waking him up!

Even if it's just nightmares, kids deserve to feel safe and if it takes some monster spray to make them feel safe, GO FOR IT. But respect their fears and nightmares. You never know when the bat that is in their nightmares is REAL and needs to be removed from the house!

[snarkbillie]

I very clearly remember my child having a terrible bout of night terrors about "someone being in her room". One night she was adamant that whoever was in her room was in the closet. My parents would have probably punished me for "avoiding sleep" or something and I was going to tell her to sleep in the living room, but then my husband started digging through her closet. I didn't really understand why, but I decided to help him move all the toy chests and stuff out of it. We found a mouse! There was someone in her room! They were in the closet! I am so glad that my husband was around to actually think before reacting. I had been raised to ignore things like this, but he believed our kid and investigated. What if he emptied the closet and found nothing? No harm. She probably would have felt better anyway.

[Trynn]

A little bit before my 6th birthday I started having night terrors. They all involved Satan coming to get me. I would know that I was sleeping, but be unable to wake up.

I don't actually remember my parents telling me Satan was out to get me. In fact, I remember them stressing that God would protect me and angels were always watching me...

Maybe I was taught that in school? I did go to a christian school, so it does sound like something someone would tell me. I wonder if these night terrors were because someone told me Satan wanted me dead or something.. That's an interesting perspective...

[NurseNell]

FWIW, we had repairs being done on our house this summer. Around the same time, my preschooler started telling us *every night* that bats were coming into his room at night. We thought it was nightmares. DH ran around 'scaring the bats away' and then we gave him a can of bat spray.

Yeah, we should have looked a LITTLE harder. The contractor left our upstairs wide open for a week over the 4th and two weeks later a nearly dead BAT came out of his bedroom and flew around until collapsing so we could get it moved out of the house.

MAYBE the best thing would be to get to the bottom of why they are having nightmares and then do whatever it takes to help them feel safe again. At 8, a nest on mom and dad's bedroom floor can do wonders for nightmares.

My experience was with my 5 cats. I moved in June. In late July they started going crazy in the middle of the night, this happened a few nights in a row. One night I was getting very frustrated, they were all batting at the screened window. I could hear fluttering, I figured a bat was outside. I told them to settle down, it was just a bat outside. They wouldn't quit so I got up, turned on the lift, and OMG, the bat was on the inside of the window. :o I opened my front door and in time the critter found his way out. My cats have been calm since. So it's not just kids, pay attention to your pets too.

[samithemage]

I remember lying as a small child about my nightmares. My father died when I was 3 and my mom and his family never got along even though I loved them. I remember crying hysterically at night and telling my mom that I missed my dad, even though I was missing my opa, because when I cried for my dad I got comfort and when I cried for my opa, my mom yelled at me.