I love my large family facebook page

[Witsec7]

This is such a snarkworthy FB page it deserves it's own thread.

Today's timely question is from a mother who has behavior problems with her children. Besides the folks promoting Ezzo, Tripp and Tomato Staking there few sensible pieces of advice to be had.

Here are some pithy pieces of advice from contributors

White vinegar in the mouth works well and is not poisonous to them.

As they got older (and the oldest is only 13), we use the "front leaning rest position" for discipline. That is the good old-fashioned pushup position. It works.

Go outside and get you a thin, long switch off a tree. One that is green and wont break. The first time a fit starts, go over there and lift the child up if they are on the floor and dont say a word just switch those little legs good.

Get out two sticks of butter and let the kids eat it. Plain, on crackers. Whatever.

[crazytalk]

"Let" the kids eat butter.... this is a punishment? I'm so confused. Two whole sticks of butter?

These people are not just cruel (with the picking a switch off the tree and switching them good), but just plain old weird.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

Tomato Staking?

Do you tie the kid to the stake out in the yard and cover him in fire ants or do you beat him with the stake or what?

[thoughtful]

Tomato Staking?

Do you tie the kid to the stake out in the yard and cover him in fire ants or do you beat him with the stake or what?

www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ch07.php

[Sumeri]

"Let" the kids eat butter.... this is a punishment? I'm so confused. Two whole sticks of butter?

These people are not just cruel (with the picking a switch off the tree and switching them good), but just plain old weird.

LOL, that's what I was thinking! Butter? I'd be misbehaving every day!

Would you please link to this group? I keep trying to find it on FB and can't seem to get the right one. There are many groups with this name, evidently.

[Maude]

facebook.com/largefamilies

[Sola]

This is such a snarkworthy FB page it deserves it's own thread.

Today's timely question is from a mother who has behavior problems with her children. Besides the folks promoting Ezzo, Tripp and Tomato Staking there few sensible pieces of advice to be had.

Here are some pithy pieces of advice from contributors

That would not work with my kids. They LOVE proper butter. Nothing better than a thick layer of butter on crackers.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

http://www.raisinggodlytomatoes.com/ch07.php

Fascinating. First I've heard of it.

I can see where this would work really well together with the sort of "keeping your children's hearts" philosophy of people like the Maxwells, too. Everything as a family, always, no group activities with non-family, and no one ever out of sight/hearing.

Oppressive though...

[Witsec7]

Another woman has a problem with a five year old who still defecates in his pants:

I made him clean himself and underwear outside with the hose until he was ready to do it on the toilet.

My son did this at this age as "pay back" for when he was mad at me. Usually during nap time, because he didn't want to take a nap. I made him clean his dirty pants out in the toilet after taking his clothes off himself.

My son did this many years ago when he was 5. He knew what he was doing. He would go hide, or just plain keep playing. One day after I cleaned him up, I put him in his little sister's diaper with no pants on. He didn't go outside where anyone else would see,

Make him wash the underpants out EVERYTIME. I

[Terrie]

OTOH, the idea of eating that much margarine makes me gag. Margarine is an abomination before the Lord.

[kpmom]

This is such a snarkworthy FB page it deserves it's own thread.

Today's timely question is from a mother who has behavior problems with her children. Besides the folks promoting Ezzo, Tripp and Tomato Staking there few sensible pieces of advice to be had.

I'm slow. Does she mean she makes them get in this position so she can hit their behinds? Or does she mean she makes them do push-ups? Either way, I'm glad she's not mother to my kids.

[Witsec7]

I'm slow. Does she mean she makes them get in this position so she can hit their behinds? Or does she mean she makes them do push-ups? Either way, I'm glad she's not mother to my kids.

She makes them get into that position and stay there. It's torture like water boarding without the water.

[kpmom]

She makes them get into that position and stay there. It's torture like water boarding without the water.

:shock: That's even worse than what I thought!

[emmiedahl]

Another woman has a problem with a five year old who still defecates in his pants:

Considering that crapping one's pants is quite icky and uncomfortable, I think this is probably the only way the poor child can have any control over his life.

I would rather have a kid who storms into their room and slams the door than one who has to shit himself to express his displeasure.

[maybeizfundie]

There is a variety of people on that page, including some non-religious, I think, but there is an increasingly loud contingent of the scary/unpleasant type.

I was particularly saddened by the 5 yo with poop issues. Btdt with my oldest. It wasn't "rebellion" on his part, or him trying to control. He didn't need punishment, he needed my help (to get the constipation, and his fear, sorted out). I am not proud of myself that I didn't realize that at first. I am sad that I was so clueless. :(

[Jessica]

As someone who wet the bed way, way, WAY too long (it tapered off in my early teens but I did it a few times in my later teen years and once more when I was 20), it always makes me angry to see people punishing their children for bathroom-related problems. It could be nerves, it could be sickness, it could be a disorder (IBS?). Ya never know. It's humiliating enough, why push the shame even further? :(

[chaotic life]

Age inappropriate pooping used to really irritate me. Then I had my M. M was profoundly autistic and long before he entered my home, he learned that poop was powerful and could be used as a weapon when he didn't like what people did to him. Sadly, because he was autistic, he never unlearned that. We tried for years to give it as little power as possible, but it never stopped his pooping issues. Because of his bowel issues related to his CF, he always had a weapon available if he wanted to use one. We took to simply showering him off and ignoring the behavioral issues involved.

So anyway, I never liked punitive parenting but sadly sometimes fell into it. This spring, my teen came to me complaining that M was pooped and would I please punish him. I just looked at her and asked her what was the point in punishing him, it wasn't going to make it better. She informed me it would make HER feel better. I just laughed and told her we would not be punishing her brother for being who he was so that she could feel better.

I then required her to read The Broken Cord which is a book about a father's struggle to raise his FAS son. That book finally helped her understand that her brother's issues were not one specific thing, but underlying all of it was an inability TO learn from his mistakes *and* a complete lack of impulse control.

I get the frustration over pooping kiddos. I really do. There was a point in my mothering that it would have made me furious. However, if you have a large family, you just have to get over it already.

[Maude]

As someone who wet the bed way, way, WAY too long (it tapered off in my early teens but I did it a few times in my later teen years and once more when I was 20), it always makes me angry to see people punishing their children for bathroom-related problems. It could be nerves, it could be sickness, it could be a disorder (IBS?). Ya never know. It's humiliating enough, why push the shame even further? :(

I used to soil myself regularly as a child until we found out I had some severe food allergies. My parents used to get so angry, and all I could tell them was that I couldn't help it, and I couldn't. If he doesn't have a physical condition, the poor child's probably anxious and lacking attention.

[debrand]

I'm 34 weeks pregnant with number 11 and having terribly persistant and painful though irregular contractions. The dr. says I need more rest and that he's not surprised at this early stuff since my uterus is worn out and had so much use. How common is this for women who have had 10 or more pregnancies and how much of this is just too much stress/heat/inability to sleep & slow down since I have 9 kids at home? is this preventable? or inevitable?

Kris Taubitz

Hi Dawn. Hoping you get some responses. I know a LOT of moms that have complained that their doctors say the same thing. Honestly I think it is more the inability to slow down combined with the fact your body knows what it is doing and it more quickly falls into the pattern of toning contractions. I know even with mine they got a little earlier and a little more frequent...and in some ways a bit harder to tell apart from the real deal because they hurt more.

Heather Britton ‎? I doubt your uterus is "worn out"....I get lot of braxton hicks ( painful ones) and Im only pregnant with #4! I would figure it's your uterus "working out" lol!

Your doctor is not in some weird plot to prevent you from making babies. Why would he care how many children that you have anyway?From a purely financial view, he gets paid whether you have one child or 20. He has nothing to gain by telling you that your uterus is worn out.

There is probably the rare woman, like Michelle, who can have several kids without a lot of issues but most of us wouldn't be able to carry as many pregnancies to term. It isn't that I don't have sympathy for people who want to have large families. I wanted more kids but my fourth baby wore me out. I was sore and tired.(plus our finances weren't great) so I listened to my body and didn't have any more kids.

The OP's body is telling her to slow down and enjoy the children she already has.

[pixydust]

Your doctor is not in some weird plot to prevent you from making babies. Why would he care how many children that you have anyway?From a purely financial view, he gets paid whether you have one child or 20. He has nothing to gain by telling you that your uterus is worn out.

There is probably the rare woman, like Michelle, who can have several kids without a lot of issues but most of us wouldn't be able to carry as many pregnancies to term. It isn't that I don't have sympathy for people who want to have large families. I wanted more kids but my fourth baby wore me out. I was sore and tired.(plus our finances weren't great) so I listened to my body and didn't have any more kids.

The OP's body is telling her to slow down and enjoy the children she already has.

This. some people's bodies are made for one pregnancy, some for 15. There is no shame in not having 34 kids and women should be encouraged to listen to their bodies. I know that for me, 3 is my physical limit, we won't have anymore.

[Witsec7]

Age inappropriate pooping used to really irritate me...

I get the frustration over pooping kiddos. I really do. There was a point in my mothering that it would have made me furious. However, if you have a large family, you just have to get over it already.

You would be the voice of sanity over there CL.

[Terrie]

Here are some pithy pieces of advice from contributors

I wonder what that poster would have done to me as a kid. I happily drank cider vinegar straight and put it on everything I could. Though, too much and the acid made my mouth ache. Probably wasn't too good for my teeth either.

[Witsec7]

Invest in a sturdy wooden spoon....& use it! .... I have 8 children & I do not spare the rod. I get compliments on how well behaved my children are all the time.

[NurseNell]

OTOH, the idea of eating that much margarine makes me gag. Margarine is an abomination before the Lord.

Not margarine, butter. I couldn't stand to eat margarine either. But butter, yes, love it on crackers,

[emmiedahl]

If they are so well-behaved, why does she have to beat them? I get compliments on my children and I have never had to beat anyone.