And Joanne falls even deeper down the rabbit hole...

[Koala]

You almost can't snark on this one. Honestly, all I feel at this point is sadness for her and her children.

I'm learning how to be more quiet. I'm learning my place as a woman that does not have a husband around to help, correct, rebuke, instruct, and so on. Not having boundaries has been one of the hardest struggles I've had. There are many brothers here whom I can turn to for help, but I do my best to not depend on them too much because they are not my 'head' and I'm still not real sure exactly how much I should or should not be putting on them. Though I'd gladly submit to them (I sure would appreciate the structure and guidance they could offer), I am not sure it is their duty to fill that role in my life.

Things on my blog will change a bit for the time being. I plan to keep things directed towards women (Titus 2 stuff) so I don't cross over into 'teaching men.' I am such an open person and enjoy sharing what is on my mind and in my heart, but I am learning that more often than not, it's usually better to just be quiet.

I'm still learning. Please bear with me.

And one of the comments:

Was such a blessing to read this post. I agree completely and can only imagine how challenging it would be to not have a head to keep me in check:) May the Lord bless you as you seek to follow Him more fully and show you the way He wants it to work in day to day living.

Makes me really wonder what the eff is going on in that church. It scares me how easily she and her children could become victims of abuse. :(

[valsa]

I don't know this fundie (or maybe I do, I'm horrible with remembering names) Is her husband deceased?

If he's deceased, biblically, isn't she supposed to marry one of his brothers? Or is that only for childless widows?

[Koala]

I don't know this fundie (or maybe I do, I'm horrible with remembering names) Is her husband deceased?

If he's deceased, biblically, isn't she supposed to marry one of his brothers? Or is that only for childless widows?

He's alive, but they got divorced. Then she remarried what seemed to be a pretty good guy (even by her accounts), but she left him when she realized their marriage was "adultery" since she had been married before. After that she and her kids went to live on church property w/ some "brothers" from the church. This particular church specializes in helping break up second marriages.

http://www.fewtherebethatfindit.blogspot.com/2012/07/quiet.html (including the link)

[valsa]

Well, I feel sorry for the kids but not her. If you're going to be stupid, don't bitch about the consequences of your stupidity.

[joannesmith]

Makes me really wonder what the eff is going on in that church. It scares me how easily she and her children could become victims of abuse. :(

You are welcome to come see for yourself any time. Our church address is 809 8th Street, Monett, MO 65708. Sunday service starts at about 10am but you are welcome any day of the week and skip church service.

Please don't be scared for us. Just a quick visit with my children (and me if you'd like) would calm all your fears. Ask anyone in town or in the surrounding areas. My children are a joy and a blessing to have around :)

Love, j

[Witsec7]

I guess none of them got the memo, that we call it fundy Friday for a reason

[notacleverpony]

I guess none of them got the memo, that we call it fundy Friday for a reason

But it's already Saturday! They can't *all* run on Duggar time, can they?

[Witsec7]

But it's already Saturday! They can't *all* run on Duggar time, can they?

I think in Joanne's case, she's too busy taking direction from her multiple headships as biblically prescribed.

[linnea27]

she has an update for us! I feel special. Hello, Joanne! Glad to know you read here.

eta: never mind, I see she posted above as well. Carry on...

[Witsec7]

Yea her learning to be quiet thing hasn't quite worked, so she had to come here :lol:

[jesssnerch]

I almost did visit when I was passing through town on the way to the drive-in! I didn't have the address. I'll have to make a fundie field trip one of these days. I am so blessed the God purposed me to live within an hour of both Joanne and the Duggars!

[valsa]

I think in Joanne's case, she's too busy taking direction from her multiple headships as biblically prescribed.

In the immortal words of Movies In 15 Minutes, "I think I saw a porno like this once."

[Koala]

Comments that made me :D :

You do have a headship, since you chose to leave your husband and you have an adult son you should be under his authority. He is now your head of household and the one who should be providing for you. He is the one you should be submitting to now as he is over 18. If you want to really follow Biblical law.

July 14, 2012 2:01 PM

Joanne said...

"anon" - my oldest son is not an "adult". And where does the bible say an "adult" is 19 or older?

:lol: Her son is 18 (possibly 19). When will he be an adult and therefore able to act as Joanne's headship? Feel free to chime in her Joanne. Do you have plans to have whichever "brother" takes authority over you, transfer said authority once you feel your son is an adult?

Joanne, this is a quote from your church's website:

Griselda and Jose are both pictured below; they were both married before and realized not too long ago that they were living in adultery with each other. They have been apart for several months now and doing all they know how to walk in the light.

Brother René's baptism; Brother René recently got out of a divorced and remarried situation in obedience to Christ's teaching: Whosoever marries her that is divorced is committing adultery. Please pray for him as he strives to follow Christ.

These quotes are just what I've found in the 3 most recent posts. If you want to try to sell people on the idea that this group isn't trying to break up families, then perhaps you need to remove the link to their website from your blog. They're a little obvious. :roll:

That said, I sincerely worry for you and your children. When you set up a situation where someone has all of the control and power (because of their gender or whatever else) you make the people "under" them very easy targets.

I am curious as to why you (a grown woman with adult and near adult children) feel the need to find someone to "submit" to. Your post is practically begging one of the "brothers" to step in and "rebuke and correct" you as you put it. Should one of them decide to take you up on it (and I have no doubt they will), that puts you and your children in a very dangerous position. Quite frankly I worry that you would even know when a line needed to be drawn, as your post is a study in the lack of boundaries.

[Koala]

Please don't be scared for us.

Love, j

You do realize that you just made a blog post about how you would like to have a man from your church "correct and rebuke" you, but you'd hate to impose right? That is not rational behavior.

[jesssnerch]

You do realize that you just made a blog post about how you would like to have a man from your church "correct and rebuke" you, but you'd hate to impose right? That is not rational behavior.

Also, she had a headship. She defied him and left him to go live in a church basement.

[Witsec7]

Also, she had a headship. She defied him and left him to go live in a church basement.

Nope that was adultery :o

[Petronella7]

So Joanne's true husband and headship is her first, divorced, jerk of a husband. So...shouldn't she find him and go back to him? Why is she hanging around in a church basement letting strange men tell her what to do? Joanne, once you came to believe that your second, happy marriage was in fact adultery, wouldn't the correct thing to do have been to go back to your "real" husband? Rather than travelling aimlessly, church-shopping around the country and ending up unemployed in a church basement in some little town in Missouri while wearing a bathrobe and a bedsheet on your head? Where's your first husband? Doesn't he want you back to lead and chastise?

If for some reason you can't or won't go back to your first and only husband, I agree that the second best option for you is definitely to start deferring to your oldest son as your headship and the head of the family. If he's in his late teens? He would definitely have been considered an adult man in Bible times. And isn't that what you are striving to do, live as authentically Biblically as possible?

[Koala]

If for some reason you can't or won't go back to your first and only husband, I agree that the second best option for you is definitely to start deferring to your oldest son as your headship and the head of the family. If he's in his late teens? He would definitely have been considered an adult man in Bible times. And isn't that what you are striving to do, live as authentically Biblically as possible?

That's what makes me think that Joanne is playing at this whole thing. I get the feeling that the adult son is not going anywhere that Joanne doesn't specifically tell him to go. He may be 18-19, but according to Joanne that's not an adult. I am curious as to what makes a person an adult in Joanne's mind. He certainly works, but Joanne controls that money as well (spending what she needs and donating the rest). As one poster pointed out, he would be considered very much an adult according to Bible standards. I can't help but wonder if either:

A. Joanne is afraid he will get a life and leave her to fend for herself and her two other children.

B. Submitting to your son isn't nearly as exciting as submitting to some random church guy.

[jesssnerch]

The more I'm thinking about this and for all Joanne's protesting about her adult son not being adult enough to submit to, I'm thinking by saying she needs a man to "submit to" she means to "get laid by."

[Witsec7]

The more I'm thinking about this and for all Joanne's protesting about her adult son not being adult enough to submit to, I'm thinking by saying she needs a man to "submit to" she means to "get laid by."

I think she claims he's not an adult because she wouldn't be able to ask him to hand over his earnings if he were.

[jesssnerch]

I think she claims he's not an adult because she wouldn't be able to ask him to hand over his earnings if he were.

What happens when her daughters are of age? They become SAHD of the basement? Is the eldest boy expected to support all of his female family members? If he gets married, do the mother and sisters go live with him? This situation is fucked for so many reasons.

[Koala]

What happens when her daughters are of age? They become SAHD of the basement? Is the eldest boy expected to support all of his female family members? If he gets married, do the mother and sisters go live with him? This situation is fucked for so many reasons.

They aren't supposed to want to get married. I need to go find the post where she talks about how sinful it is to want to be married.

[Koala]

Found it:

I’ve heard many girls say, “When I get married…â€or, “I’m going to have lots of children…†and similar thoughts. That is the WRONG focus. What if God doesn’t intend for you to marry or for you to have children? Will you be disappointed? Think seriously, is that your focus/dream? Is your focus [romantic dream] becoming your god? Your focus should be on serving Christ, not when or who you want to marry.

The whole post: http://www.fewtherebethatfindit.blogspot.com/2011/12/girlboy-relationships-purity_14.html

[emmiedahl]

She has made such a mockery and travesty of her religion. Is there a Christian equivalent of Chillul Hashem?

Putting away, as discussed in the NT, is not the same as divorce. They were two distinct and not-same-or-even-similar practices that were both common at the time. Shame that a SOTDRT misunderstanding of a straightforward exegesis issue has led to the break-up of so many families. I can only imagine that if there is a God, he weeps at this foolishness.

[Koala]

This is one of the sadder things on Joanne's blog:

(Her daughter writing about her stepfather)

Even though Bobby is no longer with us, we still talk to him quite a bit (he even called us on our birthdays – that was very sweet of him); he lives in Washington D.C. The other day we asked him, “Railroad crossing without any cars, can you spell that without any R’s?†It was funny because he got it right away! I am so thankful that he is in our lives – he has done so much for us, especially the year before we moved here. He supported us, but he did not have to … he did it anyway because he loved us (and still loves us!). We hope to see him soon.

http://fewtherebethatfindit.blogspot.com/2010/12/briannas-year-in-review.html