Proof that fundies DON'T walk the walk

[Rosa]

I don't know, I just find it weird that people are sooooo worried about saying anything that might possible be construed as offensive/rude to someone, it just seems really overly anxious to me. It isn't putting a negative spin on anyone else's beliefs ( at least the way the sandwich maker describes it ), it isn't even asking the other person to give a response.

It is a sandwich and three words.. it sounds like a champagne and caviar problem to me, in a situation where people have actual, real, problems.

So I spent about 4 years feeding people (some homeless, some not) every Saturday morning and many Tuesday evenings. You know what works really well? Saying "Hey, how are you doing today? Good to see you."

But the words are the most important part, at least around here. People aren't usually hungry - there's food freakin' EVERYWHERE. (Well, if they have food limitations, they might be hungry - I used to know a homeless fruitarian guy who would eat crazy bitter things, if they met his religious rules.) They're more likely to be feeling tired, sore (nothing like standing in line at the overflow shelter after a long day of warehouse work), disrespected, cold, hot, etc - hungry for respect, more than anything else. And that's what a sandwich and "God loves you!" is going to deprive a lot of people of.

[godlytomatosoup]

But telling someone that ANYONE loves them seems like a kind thing to me.

I'm sorry if someone else has already addressed this - I haven't finished reading the thread yet, but I have to say this now.

A hypothetical for you: your parents physically and verbally abused you. Maybe they sexually abused you too. And then they turned you out onto the streets. Then someone walks by and gives you a sandwich and says "Your mother loves you." This person does not know your mother or the time she poured boiling water on your hand and, as you screamed, told you it was because you're such a bad child that you made her do it. She thinks that she's just being nice by reminding you of the love all parents have for their children. But she just poured acid on an open wound by saying that.

This is what some people's relationship with God is like. (And also bear in mind that a person's relationship with God often pretty closely relates to how they feel about their parents. And lots of people have dysfunctional or outright abusive families.) I am not making this up, this is common. I have a close friend (who is not homeless, and you wouldn't know by looking at her what she was thinking or feeling) who very seriously believes that she has sinned against the Holy Spirit by saying some angry things about the fundie church she left years ago, and that (this is based on some verses from the New Testament) that is something that God can never forgive.

Try to imagine how it would feel to her for you to say "Jesus loves you." You might think that her thought process would be "Oh thank God, I was wrong, he loves me after all!" You would be wrong. Her thought process would be more like "That person doesn't know how evil and sinful I really am. I don't deserve this sandwich, and they wouldn't have given it to me if they knew. God hates me, and I deserve to be hated."

And if you reply to this post by saying that it's not your fault my frirend is obviously mentally ill, I will direct you to the statistics of which populations are most likely to be homeless, and I will be very rude about it indeed.

Lots of people believe very sincerely that God hates them. Lots of people have been told in so many words that God hates them. If you tell them that God loves them, without addressing their lived experience to the contrary, they won't believe a word you say, and they will feel worse, not better.

[Austin]

I used to not see how making sure everyone knew that the only reason you did nice things for others was because of your religion could be offensive. But now, if I was homeless and someone drove up and handed me food and said "Jesus loves you." my first reaction would be to think that if there was a Jesus he couldn't love me that much because, you know, I'm hungry and living on the streets. And here you are with your car and extra food, so Jesus obviously loves you more than me.

Thank you!

As I said earlier, to those who think saying "Jesus loves you" to a homeless person is a-okay, why do you insist on ignoring the very obvious? Which is that the person is probably thinking, "If Jesus loves me so much, why am I living under a damned bridge?"

[StarrieEyedKat]

But geez, you guys, they're just trying to spread God's love!! Why do you insist on bringing the homeless person's feelings into this? :roll:

[formergothardite]

I think this thread proves what we have been saying here that caring for the poor doesn't need to be left to the church or Christians and should be handled by the government. A person should be able to go get help without having to hear about how much Jesus loves them. Jesus loves them so much that he stuck them with a life of poverty?

And it is clear from this thread that there are many Christians who are not willing to help others unless they can also spread the gospel. They are not willing to help, just to help a person.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

Why did that crack you up?

Because of the posts before mine talking about whether saying "God bless" is less offensive, and that a homeless person you give something to will often say it to you. Seemed amusingly ironic to me last night that that happened on the day I read this thread. (I was seriously tired last night and wrote that just before collapsing into bed.)

[mockingbird]

"Jesus loves you" would weird me out and I was brought up Catholic. I have heard similar... from tract-bearers although it was unexpected (at fairs and such) and although I wasn't offended because I believe that, faith is private for me and things like that make me feel uncomfortable. It makes me feel like I'm going to be dragged into a conversation about faith that I don't want to have with a stranger. I can also see how it would be offensive to someone who doesn't believe in Jesus, or has a tumultuous relationship with/understanding of God. One of the most common complaints I hear from people I work with at grief support groups is others telling them religious platitudes, like "They are with God now." A LOT of these people DO believe that and find those beliefs comforting. However, they say that it feels like the person is dismissing their feelings by insisting they only be happy that their loved one is with God. These people are still grieving their loss on earth and want that grief to be acknowledged/accepted. This was on the top of our list in training of things NOT to say! I imagine it is the same for many homeless people, who like others pointed out, might believe in a God(s) but not understand why then they are homeless when God is supposed to care for them.

As for the argument that Christians must evangelize, I offer this quote: "Preach the gospel at all times. Use words if necessary." (attributed to St. Francis) If you believe that bringing others to God is important, I am sure that God can act through your kindness alone and doesn't need a billboard sign of "I love Jesus" coming out of your mouth. Perhaps someone will witness your kindness and be attracted to the type of company you keep, therefore bringing others "into the fold". By not hitting someone over the head with doctrine, no matter how simple it is, you are allowing them the chance to find it for themselves instead of feeling forced into it.