Gender-Neutral Bathrooms

[wtfrenchtoast]

So recently my school implemented at least one gender-neutral bathroom in the main building on campus. There may be more, I just saw the one yesterday. Anyway, I think part of the reason they decided to do this is because we had Dylan Scholinski, a trans man, as a guest speaker for a few days a while back. I went to one of his lectures and he talked about how important gender-neutral bathrooms are. I agree, I think that not only should gender-neutral bathrooms exist, I also think we should do away with gendered bathrooms altogether. Just have one bathroom with separate stalls and everything's fine. Because Dylan made a good point: if you just have one gender-neutral bathroom, you might as well put up a giant sign saying "Here's the Trans Person!" So if everyone has to use the same bathroom, there's no need to speculate on the gender of the person in the next stall. Just do your business and get out. It would make it a lot easier on transgender people, who wouldn't have to worry about being raped or assaulted for being in the "wrong" bathroom.

 

So what are your opinions on gender-neutral bathrooms?

[fundiefun]

I would not feel comfortable with a gender neutral bathroom. Call me old fashioned, but I just feel more comfortable with gender specific bathrooms. As a person who suffered past sexual abuse and assault using the bathroom is hard enough as it is let alone having to share one with guys.

[treemom]

I would use a gener neutral bathroom with my son...I am undecided about whether I would want one all the time.

[Witsec7]

I managed a facility in a college at a Pac 10 university and I made a facility gender neutral. My reasoning was simple we couldn't provide an accessible facility for folks with altered abilities on the 2nd floor. The third floor had a mens and ladies but it was a restricted access area. The second floor had a mens and womens facility, but due to the ancient age of both the loos I couldn't have it modified for access. That left the newest on the ground floor to be adapted and opened up. I'd done some studying about access issues and access and had full buy in from administration. A few folks whined but they were not limited so they could easily use the 2nd floor conveniences. Two years later I was the college rep on a major building remodel (12 mil. project) and I successfully got a gender neutral loo on each floor of the remodeled building.

[wtfrenchtoast]

Fundiefun, I'm sorry you were abused, and I understand your reasoning with being uncomfortable. I haven't seen any research on whether gender-neutral bathrooms are more dangerous for women. If that was the case, I might change my mind. But ideally, I think if enough people became comfortable with it as the norm, it could work.

[liltwinstar]

I briefly went to a college with co-ed bathrooms - well, that's what we called them; I guess they were gender neutral. Basically, anyone could use any bathroom in almost all of the dorms. This included showers. It was ok - the toilets and showers were in stalls so you had privacy.

I have to say, though, that as a somewhat sheltered fundie girl, the first time I was in the bathroom and saw man feet in the stall next to me I was a little unsettled!! I lived in the all-women dorm, though, and we voted to have our bathrooms be women-only as well. So I never showered in a co-ed bathroom.

Oddly enough, the bathrooms in the public areas were gendered. Which was kinda weird since the dorms weren't.

Anyway, as long as there are stalls, I don't have a problem with it :)

[Alecto]

My university has gender neutral "family" bathrooms, as well as any single stall bathroom is gender neutral. I think that is a fairly good solution for the problem. Especially when the bathrooms are scattered out across campus, so really, no one is going to think someone is trans for using it - just that that is the closest potty!

[JenniferJuniper]

Over a year ago, I walked into what I thought was a ladies room in a swanky restaurant in Philadelphia only to find three men washing up at the sinks. Thinking I'd just walked into the wrong room (and having had a few cocktails, it was certainly within the realm of possibility) I apologized and started backing up when one of the guys laughed and said come on in, you're in the right place.

One rest room with about 10 toilet stalls that were more like tiny rooms (the water closet of old), no urinals, shared set of sinks. One machine that contained mints, condoms, and tampons.

I suspect this will catch on in some locations, simply because it eliminates the whole dad with young daughter/mom with young son problem and accommodates transgendered people without issue. It's a little shocking at first, and I'm not sure I'd be comfortable using one in an isolated place, but once you get used to seeing men washing up in the "ladies" room, it's not a big deal.

[Buzzard]

I think having "family" bathrooms and a gender neutral are important. But I'll take my butt to the little girls room. Men are gross and make horrible messes in the bathroom. On top of that, there are things that we "do" in there that I dont like other women knowing about, let alone guys. I need to maintain my "ladylike" persona...

[CanadianHippie]

What lilwinstar says: As long as there are stalls, I don't have a problem with it.

but I rarely use public bathrooms anyway.

[deelaem]

As soon as men quit sexually assaulting women, I'll be happy with all gender neutral bathrooms. But since that's unlikely to happen, I think we should have men's and women's bathrooms alongside the gender neutral.

[FlorenceHamilton]

After 50 years of waiting in long lines to go to the ladies room while staring at the door of a perfectly functional bathroom marked "men", I think it is time for us to grow up and realize that gender-specific bathrooms are enefficient. However, I think that all toilets should be in stalls with doors.

I can sort of understand that sense that some women have of possible danger. However, I think the possibility of another man walking in at any time would be something of a deterrant to potential attackers. It may actually be safer, even if it is a bit awkward until we get used to it.

[CanadianHippie]

I think having "family" bathrooms and a gender neutral are important. But I'll take my butt to the little girls room. Men are gross and make horrible messes in the bathroom. On top of that, there are things that we "do" in there that I dont like other women knowing about, let alone guys. I need to maintain my "ladylike" persona...

First, women can be down right disgusting. Second, anything women need to do in the bathroom is natural and men already know about it (or they should).

[QAF_Rocks]

I'm used to single-sex restrooms, but if I saw a gender-neutral one, I'd have no problem with it. As long as there are seat covers, I'm good to go!

Given the discussion on the "Joy" thread, it seems like there's a real need for family bathrooms and locker rooms where parents can bring children of any age and any gender.

[Austin]

I think having "family" bathrooms and a gender neutral are important. But I'll take my butt to the little girls room. Men are gross and make horrible messes in the bathroom. On top of that, there are things that we "do" in there that I dont like other women knowing about, let alone guys. I need to maintain my "ladylike" persona...

I live with four men and I never, ever use their bathroom, and they never, ever use mine. I have been grateful when my children were younger for the family bathroom, but in general, I'm not interested in being where men have peed. It's not a political statement nor does it have anything to do with modesty, but I just find it to be gross. Just my personal feelings.

And I agree that women can be gross. I was horrified by the mess my niece often left when she lived with us. But I'm a bit of germaphobe and a neatnik, so maybe this doesn't bother others so much.

[doggie]

I have seen urinals that are unisex. But it would be a bit uncomfortable for some people. not so bad for young people as it would be for older people. I am talking about multi person bathrooms. single ones it is not a problem.

they would take the Mystery out of the lady things. I remember growing up and somewhat thinking woman did not fart and poop. not really but it was jsut the feeling you got. let alone anything to do with menstruation.

Most of that is gone now and that's a good thing.

[pomology]

My college has a lot of gender-neutral bathrooms. It's never been a big deal to me.

[FloraDoraDolly]

I think gender neutral/family bathrooms should be available for those who need them. I've used the family bathroom at the zoo. I was with my niece, who could have gone to the ladies' room, but she was newly toilet trained then and the family bathroom had kid-sized toilets. But I don't want to use the same public bathrooms as men. Too many creepy dudes in this world.

[pomology]

I think having "family" bathrooms and a gender neutral are important. But I'll take my butt to the little girls room. Men are gross and make horrible messes in the bathroom. On top of that, there are things that we "do" in there that I dont like other women knowing about, let alone guys. I need to maintain my "ladylike" persona...

My sophomore year of college I lived in a dorm with gender neutral bathrooms (there were also single occupancy bathroom with showers, so that people had a choice about whether to use the gender-neutral bathroom or not). It was the most immaculate public bathroom I have ever used in my life. Last year, my junior year the bathroom closest to my room was a women's only bathroom and is was disgusting. Unflushed toilets, sanitary napkins in the toilets, sometimes even blood on the toilet seats. So I'd say that people's sex (or gender) has very little to do with how well they maintain bathrooms.

[Rosa]

Gender neutral bathrooms should be safer, rather than less safe, because it increases the number of friendly eyes in the room at any given time. There's not that much to stop a rapist of any gender from sneaking in to an empty ladies room and waiting til some woman comes in alone. The bathroom is more likely to have friendly non-rapists in it all the time if it's gender-neutral.

Also, segregated men's rooms are not safe for trans men, and segregated women's rooms can be unsafe for butch women - at least once, my college girlfriend got noticed by a janitor for going into the "wrong" bathroom. That time he just warned me about the "man" he'd just seen - don't go in there, miss, a man just went in - but if he'd been a gaybasher, he'd have noticed her in a way he wouldn't have if she hadn't been going into a gender-segregated room.

Also gender-neutral bathrooms are a godsend for parents. I spend SO MUCH time lurking outside the men's room waiting for my son these days, and he's not real happy when I haul him into the women's room with me, either.

[FloraDoraDolly]

As soon as men quit sexually assaulting women, I'll be happy with all gender neutral bathrooms. But since that's unlikely to happen, I think we should have men's and women's bathrooms alongside the gender neutral.

I hear you. I went to a university in a high crime area where women were raped in the bathrooms by street people who'd wandered onto the campus. It didn't happen every day, but it happened often enough to make me very careful about which bathrooms I used on that campus and what time of day I went there.

[Rowan]

I really like the idea and I'd be fine with it and agree that the more people using a shared area, the lower the overall risk to everyone.

When we had Girl Scouts trips, we would often take over the men's room. One older girl or a chaperone would crack the door, ask if anyone was in there (or ask a friendly guy to check for us) and once we had the all-clear, someone would stand guard at the door. We were in and out of the place so much faster then if we were limited to just the women's room.

I can see one objection from the people in charge - space. I believe urinals require less square footage then stalls would so you would have less places for people. Of course, with the men's "urinal code" where you never stand next to another guy, they aren't all being used like stalls would be!

[Goyangi]

I admit, my first thought is "ew." But I have OCD and an (un)healthy imagination. I tolerate unisex bathrooms (that is, the one toilet and sink in a locked room dealies), though. They are not my favorite but, at least, I'm in there all by myself.

However, I do think society definitely needs to be more sensitive to trans' needs so I guess I can get over my "dude standing on the toilet and peering over the stall to watch me pee" irrational fear. However, I'm not comfortable disregarding the feelings of women (and men) who would prefer gender specific bathrooms either. So. Impasse.

[ADoyle90815]

I hear you. I went to a university in a high crime area where women were raped in the bathrooms by street people who'd wandered onto the campus. It didn't happen every day, but it happened often enough to make me very careful about which bathrooms I used on that campus and what time of day I went there.

That's true, the junior college in my city had a rape reported in the last year that took place in a women's restroom in one of the buildings that's next to a major street. The surrounding neighborhood is relatively low-crime, but a woman was still assaulted by someone wandering in from off campus. I went to that college before transferring to the university across town, and even then, there were certain bathrooms I avoided for safety reasons.

[emmiedahl]

I don't see public bathrooms as safe places, whether they are segregated or unisex. I don't think a unisex bathroom would be less safe than a segregated one.

I am okay with the idea as long as there are stalls and privacy. Maybe they could extend the stalls to the floor and ceiling, so no one could look or crawl under. That would make me feel safer in any type of public bathroom.

If it makes a transgendered person feel better, I would take one for the team. I don't see why she could not use a women's bathroom, though. We had a transgendered person on my community college campus and she came in the women's bathroom with the rest of us girls.