Gender-Neutral Bathrooms

[gardenvarietycitizen]

As long as there are stalls (including around any urinals, or at least block the urinal area out of view from the path to the stalls), I'm okay with unisex bathrooms. The single toilet plus sink full room bathrooms (which I jokingly call "one-holers") I've never obeyed the gender signs on anyway - no one else can possibly come in and see me, and I can't walk in on anyone else, so I use the first one open, regardless of if it's technically marked for "men" or "women." Around me it seems most people do similar.

I was actually surprised at the big gap between the door and the floor in US public bathrooms when I first saw it. I was used to squat toilets, and public squat toilets always had the door go all the way to the floor (as in, within a centimeter or so, like a normal house door) because of course your private bits would necessarily be down there. Even when stuff moved toward sit-down toilets, the doors stayed full.

I look fairly androgynous and have gotten yelled at by random strangers when entering the women's room. Usually they're trying to warn me, I respond "it's okay, I'm a woman" and they get horribly embarrassed and think they must have gravely insulted me, though I don't care so much. But, I've been creeped out by people getting actively upset about my appearance - some random guy in a Metro station in DC started ranting about how it's evil and wrong for "girls to dress like boys" and "pretend to be something they're not," if he hadn't gotten on a train I was gonna report him to someone, it was that unnerving. He had more than a touch of teh crazy.

Incidentally if we're talking about dirty bathrooms, the ones in my high school (girls' bathroom, squat toilets) were probably among the nastiest I've been in. We all had to clean them, too, on a rotating schedule - so you'd think people would take more care knowing they'd eventually be the ones to clean it, but nooooooo. Though I gotta say, there are some women at my office who like to hover and pee all over the seat, I have no idea who but there's no way I'm sitting down in there without checking first!

[Kitty]

I'm fine with unisex bathrooms, if there are also gender-segregated bathrooms. There's just too much violence against women for me to be comfortable with no sex-segregated bathrooms. I'd be terrified if there was a man in the bathroom I was in, even if I was in a stall.

[Shoobydoo]

We have a couple at our school. They're also the only wheelchair accessible bathrooms in the building. They're both single stall (they have a tiny room with just the one toilet, yet there's still a stall for it...?), so other people walking in isn't an issue. Most people I know avoid them because they smell really....odd.

I think I would be okay with a gender neutral bathroom as long as all the toilets/urinals/whatever are fully enclosed. I don't want to walk into the restroom only to find some guy practicing his aim. :shock:

[Alecto]

I just don't think gender neutral bathrooms would really have any bearing on preventing sexual assault. The little lady or man on the door won't prevent someone from coming in if they aren't of that gender. I know that rape can sometimes be a crime of opportunity, but it would also stand to reason that a rapist might be less likely to try it in a bathroom when another man could come in, especially if the rapist saw women as weaker.

I think the best prevention for safety in that regard has less to do with bathrooms being unisex or single sex, and more to do with public restrooms, especially in places like colleges and hospitals, being well lit, regularly patrolled and having the non-private areas (area in front of the stalls, sinks, door) monitored by cameras.

[lilah]

I work in a school and the staff bathroom is gender neutral. I've noticed a few staff members will not only lock their stall but also the door to the bathroom to prevent the odds of a member of the opposite sex could use the other stall. And probably a few use the gender-ed bathroom for kids (although they tend to be really gross) But really it's not a big deal.

[CanadianHippie]

If it makes a transgendered person feel better, I would take one for the team. I don't see why she could not use a women's bathroom, though. We had a transgendered person on my community college campus and she came in the women's bathroom with the rest of us girls.

People get so obsessed with what is between someone's legs that transgender people often feel unsafe in the bathroom connected to their biological sex (for very good reason unfortunately) and are viewed as a male (female) in the women's (men's) room even if they identify with with female (male). A male to female transgender could end up facing criminal charges in some areas for going into the ladies room just because she happens to have a penis.

[emmiedahl]

Like I said, if it makes his or her life easier, I am all for it. People are mean idiots. The transgendered female at my college was pretty accepted as one of the girls, so it may have been a unique situation.

[PraiseSeitan]

One of my high school classmates was trans, we had no non-gendered student restrooms, and I don't recall any issues regarding her use of the women's restroom. It's sad to me that society seems to have become less accepting since.

That said, I'd like to see more non-gendered SINGLE STALL bathrooms. Frankly, I don't want to hear somebody two feet away taking a crap, no matter what their plumbing, and I want to be able to wash my hands without walking through the asthma cloud created by teenagers with drug store perfume.

[Haligh the Liar]

I definitely am for gender-neutral bathrooms...in addition to single sex bathrooms.

My department is on the 3rd floor of our building- we have a single bathroom that is unisex and private. Every other floor has both a men's and women's room with multiple stalls.

Honestly, I wouldn't feel comfortable in a co-ed bathroom, even though I've used the men's room on many drunken nights. I remember my sophomore year of college, when I asked my friend to stand guard outside the big bathroom, since the stalls only had curtain sort of things. All well and good, until a guy came up to use the bathroom, and my friend yelled "No, you can't go in, she's pooping!" Kind of defeated the purpose...

Anyway, I would feel awkward if that was the only option, but I definitely think family/gender-neutral bathrooms are great.

[Deleted03]

I think gender neutral are good. Also changing rooms in swimming pool have always annoyed me. I'd rather change in front of a gay guy than in front of a lesbian - not that I'm intolerant of lesbian, but for me nakedness is related to sexual desire and I can't assume that all women are straight!

in any case I think it's a great idea and if it starts by being only one of the several bathroom then let it be, we have to start somwhere.

[Rachel333]

I'm all for having these, but I personally would be fairly uncomfortable in one. I don't think sexual assault would really be a big problem, but you are in kind of a vulnerable position and I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting a man. A lot of stalls also have huge gaps and you can see right in there if you look.

I'd rather change in front of a gay guy than in front of a lesbian - not that I'm intolerant of lesbian, but for me nakedness is related to sexual desire and I can't assume that all women are straight!

You also can't assume that lesbians are going to be attracted to you! I get it, though. It's just that for me being uncomfortable isn't about sex. I'd rather change with a lesbian woman than a gay man.

[Beeks]

I have two boys and I'd be thrilled to have a gender-neutral bathroom for when it's no longer acceptable for them to come to the ladies' with me but I'm not yet comfortable with them going alone. I think the argument that nobody but a trans person would use a gender-neutral bathroom holds no weight....and for that reason I wouldn't do away with gender-specific bathrooms completely. A lot more people would be uncomfortable with that.

[annalena]

I think it's fine as long as it's an additional offer and there still are traditional bathrooms to be used for people who have whatever kind of issue with the opposite sex.

God knows I have used the mens' bathroom often enough before. Whenever the line at the ladies' room was, like, 20 times longer.

To me, there's still a difference if a woman walks into the mens' room or vice versa, though.

[Deleted12]

I like having a "woman's space" in public places.

For example, when you're out at the bars with your girlfriends it's often nice to have a moment of girl time in the bathroom, or if you're at school all day the bathroom can be a place to go and just get a 5 minute mental health break.

I don't think that would be the case if all bathrooms were unisex.

FWIW, if there's a line for the ladies' bathroom and there's nobody in the men's room, I am not shy about going in there if it's like a room with a door and a lock. :P

[JenniferJuniper]

I think it's fine as long as it's an additional offer and there still are traditional bathrooms to be used for people who have whatever kind of issue with the opposite sex.

God knows I have used the mens' bathroom often enough before. Whenever the line at the ladies' room was, like, 20 times longer.

To me, there's still a difference if a woman walks into the mens' room or vice versa, though.

What girl hasn't used a mens room in an emergency at a concert or sporting event? Mens rooms and ladies rooms are designed for the same number of people, but women by necessity end up spending probably three times longer in them than men, resulting in a huge accessibility gap. Of course, it's common decency to have a man warn the others in advance and to shield ones eyes whilst heading to a stall, particularly if there is a group of men at one of those nasty big trough things in the center of the room. :oops:

A properly designed unisex bathroom has only stalls with urinals or toilets that are actually self contained little rooms. High walls, no gaps at the bottom or sides, and proper push locks. The only contact you should have with the opposite sex would be at the sink or a mirror, and I see no issue there. They may be more expensive to build, but are more efficient space and cleaning wise as the need for two - or three in the case of handicapped bathrooms - is eliminated. Equal access for men and women, parents with kids, transgendered people, disabled people, and men with shy bladders. Done properly, they do make more sense than the typical set-up and I think in 10 years or so they'll be the norm.

[doggie]

A properly designed unisex bathroom has only stalls with urinals or toilets that are actually self contained little rooms. High walls, no gaps at the bottom or sides, and proper push locks. The only contact you should have with the opposite sex would be at the sink or a mirror, and I see no issue there. They may be more expensive to build, but are more efficient space and cleaning wise as the need for two - or three in the case of handicapped bathrooms - is eliminated. Equal access for men and women, parents with kids, transgendered people, disabled people, and men with shy bladders. Done properly, they do make more sense than the typical set-up and I think in 10 years or so they'll be the norm.

good post and I can see it happening unless religion sticks it's ugly head in.

[Lillybee]

When I first started working at social services, there were about a 100 women and 5 men working there. There were 5 toilets for women and 5 for the men. The person who managed the facilities said that state law required the same number of "holes" as she put it for men and women. Eventually the single toilets were turned into gender neutral.

Since I am one of those women with a weak bladder, I was grateful.

[JenniferJuniper]

good post and I can see it happening unless religion sticks it's ugly head in.

True, and I've seen them mostly in the Northeast, where overtly religious folks aren't quite so numerous and don't have as much say or power. So stick a porta-John behind the parking lot for anyone who fears defrauding. They'll eventually come around.

[PBrooke]

When I was in college I spent a year in a dorm that was actually a centuries-old house. Thus, due to space issues, there was only one bathroom per floor, and those were co-Ed. There were urinals, too, but I can't remember ever seeing anyone at one, and yep, you might be showering right next to a guy. There was also a little one-person bathroom closet thing on the first floor; you'd go there if you had something going on you didn't want to share, or if someone was visiting and was uncomfortable with the coed bathrooms.

Because of the tight space, the dorm was invite-only and you had to be open-minded. We had people of all ... Everything in that house, and these guys were far more considerate and clean than the year I spent in an all-women's dorm. Also, there were far more sketchy nights spent peeing in fear late at night in a deserted restroom on the girls floor than in a bustling coed house.

[Rosa]

I do enjoy the ladies powder room, when there is one - mirrors, chairs, girl talk, nobody peeing or pooping or farting.

[MonkeyMomma]

My experience with gender neutral bathrooms has been completely fine and rather anti-climactic. :lol: I really like the way DC has made it work - all single- stall public restrooms are now gender neutral. That just makes good sense, in my opinion. Probably reduces wait time as well.

[Beeks]

I do enjoy the ladies powder room, when there is one - mirrors, chairs, girl talk, nobody peeing or pooping or farting.

Oh that's a good point too. I like fancy restrooms that are ladies only....especially ones that have nice big couches and stuff where woman can sit and feed a baby, etc. Nordstrom has nice bathrooms like that.

[clibbyjo]

I would prefer a unisex bathroom to just have one stall like the family bathroom at Target or whatever. I do not like sharing the bathroom with men. When I was in college, I was in the all girls dorm and there was one single stall bathroom located in a weird sidespot everyone fought over which we called "the personal". Everyone preferred the single and would go out of their way to use that over the regular bathrooms.

I would take my 9 year old in a unisex and go in one myself as a single,but I do not like seeing men feet under the door next to me either. If it had full doors like truckstop bathrooms have I would be fine with it,but I need privacy from men in the bathroom.

[darareaksmey]

I am not bothered by the concept at all. In fact, I welcome it. I am one of those borderline incontinent people who has to know the location of the nearest restroom at every moment. And even then, if the restroom is all occupied, my day might be, uh, ruined before I can even get in to do my business. Opening all bathrooms to everyone would mean moer places for me to get relief. I do, however, understand why some women (and maybe some men) might not like the idea.

[Rosa]

Oh that's a good point too. I like fancy restrooms that are ladies only....especially ones that have nice big couches and stuff where woman can sit and feed a baby, etc. Nordstrom has nice bathrooms like that.

I like those too, but even better is when it's a separate room - there are a couple 50's-and-earlier places around here (two movie theaters, a few restaurants) that have separate "powder rooms" next to the bathrooms. Nice for nursing, chatting, fixing makeup.