Baby sleeping in the bathroom

[treemom]

Yeah, it sucks when people make ridiculous claims like that. I think they generally do it as a defense mechanism ("well this could never happen to me because I wore my baby/exclusively breastfed/co-slept/read to him 8hrs a day/whatever"). I get annoyed with people who say "Wow I could never do what you're doing. I could never handle it" too. I know they mean well but to me it just sounds like "that will never happen to me, whew!" I never thought I could handle it either, but when it's your kid, you just do handle it.

Anyway, I fully admit I'm sensitive about this stuff, especially since it's still relatively new for us and I haven't perfected my "hey F off" line for the gross people yet.

Beeks,

Btw they probably do mean that. I know people said that to me after my stillbirth too. And it is true, we figure out how to deal with the situations we though of as less than ideal.

[LynnKaboom]

What the hell? How many computers do they have that they can't put the kid in the spare bedroom? I have four computers and some random computer equipment in my room (including a big-ass CRT monitor that's almost as old as I am), and there's still plenty of room for me and all of my stuff. Unless you're running a server farm or have the goddamn NASA mainframe in there, there's no reason you can't keep the kid in the same room as the computers. And according to my dad, when I was a baby I liked the sound of computers and would fall asleep to it.

And if you can't keep the baby with the computers, then move the damn computers! They're really not all that heavy, unless you've got old monitors and stuff (or again, if you're running the Google servers or the NASA mainframe), and even if that's the case, just get your husband to help you, you lazy bitch!

Also, 11 hours on the computer a day isn't uncommon for IT/CS students, but for a mother with a young child, who is not studying IT or computer science it's a bit ridiculous.

[keen23]

Also, 11 hours on the computer a day isn't uncommon for IT/CS students, but for a mother with a young child, who is not studying IT or computer science it's a bit ridiculous.

She probably has a kick-ass farm on Farmville... :roll:

[ladypuglover]

This woman is just plain sick in the head. We just lost a baby in our extended family do to this kind of neglect and if she doesn't get her head out of her butt she could be facing what my nephew and his wife are. What a F'ed-up mother. Poor baby. I hope she gets her act together before she somehow causes his death do to her neglect of common sense.

[oscar]

This woman is just plain sick in the head. We just lost a baby in our extended family do to this kind of neglect and if she doesn't get her head out of her butt she could be facing what my nephew and his wife are. What a F'ed-up mother. Poor baby. I hope she gets her act together before she somehow causes his death do to her neglect of common sense.

I'm so sorry about your family's loss, ladypuglover.

[uncreative]

My heart broke watching the video of her baby in the bath. His engagement with the shampoo bottles was the same as his engagement with her. But what really pushed me over the edge was the fact that he was standing up and walking around in the tub--absolutely forbidden when my kiddos were little. I counted five stumbles or slips and she never reached a hand out to steady him. Poor baby. :cry:

[LilMissMetaphor]

This is my bad habit, both not locking the cabinet to prevent him from pulling all of this stuff out, and not immediately taking things away from him that he shouldn’t be playing with, like glass bottles or egg cartons we plan to give back to the farmer.

Well, um. I guess it's good that you KNOW your parenting is shitty.

[emmiedahl]

Is she really saying that the program will cost $30 per month, but she might delay because insurance won't cover that?

I hope I am misreading it. omg, $30/month for your child's well-being...

[justakitten]

I really feel bad for this kid. From the earlier posts linked, it appears he regularly watched her play DDR, was around a lot when the TV was on, and didn't get a lot of social interaction with his mom (she's on the computer for 11+ hours a day???). I don't mean to open a can of worms here, and I'm all for a bit of tv watching (my 3 year-old watches an hour a day), but I wouldn't be surprised if the lack of interaction combined with media helped create these delays. She needs to turn off the computer and tv and just talk and play with him.

[LilMissMetaphor]

Give T1 three days where I do nothing but pay attention to him when he is awake, except cooking/cleaning up the cooking (1/3)

Wait, wait, this is ONE OF HER GOALS. She's done it ONCE. :o

[emmiedahl]

There is an interesting discussion in the comments of this post: thatwifeblog.com/2011/07/cost-of-having-a-baby/.

Also, it should be noted that she spent more than $600 on maternity clothes and paid a ton for a 'perineum stretcher', but does not think that a crib, toys, etc are necessary expenses.

[Witsec7]

Is she really saying that the program will cost $30 per month, but she might delay because insurance won't cover that?

I hope I am misreading it. omg, $30/month for your child's well-being...

She also mentions how she and the Mr. like to splurge on an expensive dine out monthly @$100 a person. The woman travels quite a bit, they've done Europe and Poland. I think her priorities are effed up.

Here in Oregon, early interventions are the norm, although I've had no personal exp. with them, its my understanding that school districts and other state entities make them low or no cost. We also have two nonprofits in town that provide services free of charge.

Re the bath tub- My kidette was never permitted to walk around in the tub. On her baby gear page she is effusive about non skid daisys in the tub. HELLO??????????

[treemom]

She probably has a kick-ass farm on Farmville... :roll:

I didn't spend 11 hours a day on a computer when my son was that young and I was an IT PM Consultant.

[BravaAmica]

The more I read this horror show of a blog the more I wonder if she wanted her baby. Or if she has PPD. Or both.

[addyviolet]

I can't believe the poor kid is still sleeping in the bathroom at 18 months. He's going to have some serious complaints as a teenager. "Can you believe my parents had me sleeping in the bathroom? The freaking bathroom!"

[addyviolet]

I hate to basically double post, but did anyone see her big plan to get away from her child for all of next summer? Not once in the post does she ever mention that it might be hard to be away from her son for 6 weeks. Strange.

http://thatwifeblog.com/2011/10/a-little-surprise

[ADoyle90815]

WTF? I feel sorry for that child, as not only did he sleep in the bathroom which is full of nasty bacteria, especially when the toilet lid isn't put down before flushing, but as someone else mentioned, it's the last place firefighters look when searching for people who are trapped.

Then, there's the issue of that baby seat being placed close to the edge of the counter, what did she not bother to read the warning on the package? Even her husband could have read that warning and told her never to put that seat on the counter, since she's the submissive type who would only listen to him. I know her religion teaches that the ideal place for a mother is to stay at home, but they also would want them to actually take care of their children instead of sitting him in a playpen for hours while she plays on the computer.

[emmiedahl]

This comment makes me stabby, maybe just because it is so similar to my own situation:

My brother had 4 kids during medical

school and they currently are using federal programs to help them afford groceries, etc. In 2 years he will be making approx. 300k, and yet he is using a program whose funds should be going to severely under-privileged sectors of our community. This infuriates me

First of all, if you think a medical resident makes $300,000 a year, you are stupid and uninformed. Even after he is finished with his residency, he will probably not earn that. The American public vastly over-estimates physician salaries. Most doctors are comfortable, but not rich.

Second, I find it admirable that the person is completing medical school with 4 kids. It is really fucking hard just to get in if you are parent trying to fit maybe a half-hour of study between childcare, a job, and all the other junk you have to do to get into med school (it's a long, long list). I assure you these parents are making immense sacrifices.

Last, the government will probably get their money back in the very first years of his working. After that, it will be all benefit. The poster goes on to say that she and her husband make $20K each per year. Her brother will certainly pay more taxes in his lifetime, even with a little extra help in the first few years of married life. His taxes will be paying for his sister's EIC and public schools, even though she is all bitter that he gets food stamps.

[Witsec7]

Again I must say I give this woman a three trainwreck rating.

Early on in reading her blog I noticed that she mentioned that she and Mr. dine in front of the TV. I don't recall what she did with T1 during this time. When my DD was old enough for the high chair ALL meals were done at the table. Call me weird, but I think kids benefit from parents/adults modeling behaviors.

thatwifeblog.com/2010/12/day-in-the-life-with-an-eight-month-old/

[emmiedahl]

I like how she blames it on her husband. He likes it because they can sit closer. Okay, sure, whatever. Y'all just want to watch TV instead of interacting with your baby, which seems to part of a larger pattern in that household.

[formergothardite]

I hate to say this, but I think Emily might have been a better parent than her. Sure she let her kid almost die, but at least she seemed to hold them, talk to them and in general like them. This woman seems to hate her son. I hope they never have any more children to ignore.

[Brainsample]

Reading this thread and looking at that site, one thing really screams out to me. It isn't autism, but it is in the autistic spectrum of diagnosis: Familial, inherited ADHD and accompanying traits.

First, there are number of ADHD kids that babble until they can speak in more complex sentences, something that seems like a manifestation of the OCD component of the disorder. It's also common among very intelligent kids, something that they used to unofficially call the "Einstein Effect."

Concerning the mom, studies have found that ADHD is often familial. A common trait of it is being socially inappropriate or having difficulties with reading social cues and what can seem like "common sense" in relationships, and sometimes in circumstances. If their prefrontal cortex is impaired, they don't reason well, even if they're quite bright. They can have really flat affects sometimes, going along with a poor ability to read social cues. Depression often accompanies ADHD, and a bit of post partum depression mixed in there couldn't help.

And borderline personalities detach when they feel overwhelmed, and they get very flat emotionally when they've been triggered. (What can intimidate and threaten you more than having a child?) They tend to cope through wishful thinking and distraction and idealization, and that could be part of what's going on with the internet. They can be highly skilled and seek stimulation, and at the same time and under other circumstances, are more withdrawn and reserved.

I just think it could be a family problem with ADHD, especially because that kid seems very bright and happy but is lagging in language.

[Katiebug]

It's probably a good thing that this blog is blocked by my work firewall.

That amount and type of food for an 8 month old isn't really a problem. For those whose children are older or are from somewhere besides North America, the current focus here is on either breastmilk or formula (or both) making up the bulk of a child's nutrition until they reach toddlerhood ("food is for fun under one" is a common phrase). You're supposed to wait until 4-6 months to start any form of solids. There's also a growing movement away from baby cereals towards fruits, vegetables, and protein sources. Little Bug's first solid food was sweet potato and she only ate solids once or twice a day until she was 8 or 9 months old. This woman was not being neglectful by feeding those amounts and foods to an 8 month old, assuming he was getting sufficient formula.

Now that that's out of the way...

Bottle propping is not cool. Little Bug's daycare center always holds babies for bottles - I think it might be a state requirement here as well. Even at 10 or 11 months when she was transitioning from bottle to sippy cup and wanted to hold the cup herself, she still sat on a caregiver's lap. The girls in the infant and pre-toddler rooms love to snuggle the little ones for a bottle. I never gave Little Bug a bottle myself since she was breastfed exclusively when we were together, but I have given bottles to other babies and it's fun. How can you NOT want to hold a squishy, cute little person and interact with them while they eat?

A pillow in a crib with an infant is not smart. I got all twitchy about putting a light blanket and a stuffed animal in there with my toddler.

Her child seems to bore her, or at least she seems more fascinated/involved with her online world than the real world. I admit that I did (and still do) surf the internet on my phone or read on my Kindle while nursing Little Bug, but in those early months she was nursing 8-12 times a day and it did get boring at some point. For the overnight feedings, it was also to help me stay awake and not fall asleep during the feeding.

Letting him play with glass bottles AND not immediately redirecting him when he's playing with dangerous objects? Just flat out stupid. Enjoy explaining that parenting choice to the DCF social worker when your kid is in the hospital getting stitches after breaking a bottle against his head. :roll:

She's likely not a babywearer. Babywearers like to show off their carriers/wraps/slings. :lol: It's a status/money thing for some of them ("look at my $600 piece of brightly colored cloth - I have disposable income!") but even for those who aren't like that at all, if you babywear you'll naturally have pictures of your kid being worn. There are plenty of pics of our kid being worn by Mr. Bug or me that were taken while apple picking, out for a walk, on vacation, and the like (there are also plenty of pics of her in a stroller, too!).

As for not wanting EI services because of the cost, around here EI is free or low cost. :dunno: If you make over $45K/year the parent pays a monthly fee on a sliding scale. We have a low six figure income and if Little Bug needed services we'd pay only $120/month. They'll even come to a daycare center to work with a child! A friend of mine is a therapist for Birth to Three and it's really a great program. How can a parent think that $30 is too much to ask for a skilled physical, occupational, or speech therapist to work one-on-one with their child? Even at $30 per session I'd get a second job or take out a loan if needed to help give my kid whatever services would be needed.

Sleeping in a bathroom? WTF. :evil: How incredibly unhygienic! Move some of the damned computers or put the kid's crib in your own room. There are plenty of couples and families living in 1 and 2 bedroom apartments and have babies - our next baby will probably be in our room for 6+ months until s/he is sleeping well and can more easily share a room with our daughter.

[alwaysexpecting]

OMG I thought she used cloth diapers until I read this post: thatwifeblog.com/2011/05/my-favorite-baby-gear-purchases/

She uses cloth diaper covers (and I have used this particular brand, they are lined with a plasticy rubber material) OVER DISPOSABLE DIAPERS because she is afraid of leaks!!!! Disposable diapers are absorbent enough and if you have leaky issues you ARE not changing often enough (minus those newborn blowouts!) at 18 months. Also, that baby would not be getting proper ventilation!

Oh and I just figure out what she puts her co-sleeper turned diaper changer on - a filing cabinet. :x

[LynnKaboom]

There is an interesting discussion in the comments of this post: thatwifeblog.com/2011/07/cost-of-having-a-baby/.

Also, it should be noted that she spent more than $600 on maternity clothes and paid a ton for a 'perineum stretcher', but does not think that a crib, toys, etc are necessary expenses.

Wait, wait, wait- what would she need with a perineum stretcher? I thought women didn't have perineum.