Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 51

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[47of74]

Hey, if it cuts down on the number of future GQP members in the future it works for me....

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"Frickin On The Border"

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I used the concept of sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads in a cartoon last July when Texas Governor Greg Abbott first placed water barriers and razor wire along the Rio Grande. This cartoon is its sequel. If a governor was Dr. Evil, it would be Greg Abbott except Dr. Evil was funny (why must I be surrounded by frickin’ idiots?).

Last October, Border Patrol agents cut some of the razor wire which led to Texas crying foul and to sue the federal government, arguing the Department of Homeland Security destroyed the state’s property and interfered in Texas’ border security efforts. The case went all the way to the Supreme Court where on Monday, it ruled in a 5-4 decision that Texas must allow federal agents acces to the border and to remove the razor wire.

Justices John Roberts and Amy Coney Barrett joined the liberals to make the majority ruling, meaning it was bipartisan. The dissents were all conservative. The justices didn’t explain their ruling but it upholds longstanding court rulings that the Constitution gives the federal government sole responsibility for border security.

President Biden’s U.S. Citizenship Act, designed to modernize our immigration system, has been languishing in Congress since 2021. Republicans are sitting on this while screaming that Biden and DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas are ignoring the border, and claiming it’s an “open border” under “invasion.”

The border is not open. If it was, then people wouldn’t be drowning after becoming entangled in Texas’ razor wire trying to enter this country. Immigrants coming here is not an invasion. When the word “invasion” is used, it sends the message that the “invaders” are coming to conquer us. But many of these people are women and children looking for a better life, not to harm us or steal our land. Donald Trump claims without evidence the immigrants have been recently released from prisons and mental institutions. When he was a candidate, he lied and said Mexico was sending us “rapists” and “murderers.” When he was president (sic), he claimed the “migrant caravans” were funded by Jewish billionaire George Soros.

A spokesgoon for Abbott said, “The Biden Administration has repeatedly cut wire that Texas installed to stop illegal crossings, opening the floodgates to illegal immigrants. The absence of razor wire and other deterrence strategies encourages migrants to make unsafe and illegal crossings between ports of entry, while making the job of Texas National Guard soldiers and DPS troopers more dangerous and difficult. This case is ongoing, and Governor Abbott will continue fighting to defend Texas’ property and its constitutional authority to secure the border.”

A statement from the White House said, “Texas’ political stunts, like placing razor wire near the border, simply make it harder and more dangerous for frontline personnel to do their jobs. Ultimately, we need adequate resources and policy changes to address our broken immigration system. That is why on his first day in office President Biden presented Congress with a comprehensive immigration reform plan and that is why he is working to find a bipartisan agreement with Congress that includes additional resources and meaningful policy reforms.”

The Abbott administration placing barbed wire and water barriers in the Rio Grande is a political stunt, just like his “deporting” migrants to blue states and cities. It’s a policy of cruelty designed to appeal to the hate base. It was the federal government cutting the wire to assist tangled migrants that upset Abbott, proving his cruelty.

Three immigrants, a mother and two children, drowned in the Rio Grande after Texas authorities blocked Border Patrol agents from the river at Eagle Pass. A video captured Texas National guard soldiers ignoring a female migrant in the Rio Grande screaming for help.

Since enacting Operation Lone Star, Abbott has deployed state troopers across the 1,200 mile Texas-Mexico border, ordered state police to arrest migrants who are suspected of trespassing (or any brown person suspected of being undocumented), spent $11 million to install 70,000 rolls of razor wire along the Rio Grande, spent $1.5 billion on about a dozen miles of border walls, and has spent over $89 million to bus migrants to Democratic-run cities like New York City, Denver, Los Angeles, Washington, DC, and Chicago.

Texas’ corrupt and philandering Attorney General who recently survived an impeachment attempt, Ken Paxton, said, “The Supreme Court’s temporary order allows Biden to continue his illegal effort to aid the foreign invasion of America. The destruction of Texas’ border barriers will not help enforce the law or keep American citizens safe. This fight is not over, and I look forward to defending our state’s sovereignty.”

That’s a lot of bullshit to pack in. Biden is NOT aiding an “illegal” effort to “invade” America. Fun fact, the people entering America are coming from America. All of North and South America is America. It’s pretty obnoxious for people like Ken Paxton to imply that we’re the only or real America. Also, The 10th Amendment states, “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” That means states don’t have total sovereignty.

Also, The Supremacy Clause of the Constitution of the United States (Article VI, Clause 2) establishes that the Constitution, federal laws made pursuant to it, and treaties made under its authority, constitute the “supreme Law of the Land”, and thus take priority over any conflicting state laws. Ken Paxton needs to zip his pants and read that.

Another fun fact is the majority of Texas bullshit doesn’t come from cattle, but from its attorney general, but he has close competition with the state’s governor and one its senators (the icky one).

The federal government has full authority of its borders. Texas is big, but a lot of its assholes, like Greg Abbott and Ken Paxton, believe it’s larger than it actually is.

The people entering our nation from other parts of America are less dangerous to the United States than the Republicans and MAGAts who are already here. As we’ve seen from Jan. 6, the great threat to this nation comes from within, and they wear red hats.

Creative note: The sharks with frickin’ laser beams attached to their heads is from the Austin Powers films. Since it’s been over 20 years since the last film in the series, a lot of people don’t know this.

Another creative note: Sharks are built like torpedoes. Their bodies are straight, so I was wondering how to draw them with their heads tilted down while their bodies were straight up, so I looked at images of the shark from the movie The Bad Guys to see how they did it. It didn’t help which is OK because I hate that movie, especially because of the shark. I can get past the shark talking and breathing out of water, but I can’t get past the shark having legs.

 

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This is funny, but definitely NSFW:

 

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"Dementia Don'

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On the campaign trail last week in New Hampshire, Trump was again boasting about “acing” a cognitive test he took while he was president (sic), which was probably the first time a president had to take a cognitive test. Trump told the audience at one of his goon rallies that the test included identifying animals.

Trump said, “I think it was 35, 30 questions. They always show you the first one, like a giraffe, a tiger, or this, or that…a whale. ‘Which one is the whale?’ Okay. And that goes on for three or four (questions) and then it gets harder and harder and harder.”

Really, Stinky? It gets harder after the whale question? What did the test ask next? How to spell “whale?” Unless Sir. Craps-a-Lot is lying, I’m wondering what test he actually took, because it wasn’t the Montreal Cognitive Assessment as that doesn’t contain the animal questions that Captain Combover described.

Ziad Nasreddine, the Canadian neurologist who invented the test said it has NEVER included a drawing of a whale. I’m starting to believe Trump was playing with a See-and-Say, where you guess which sound a certain animal makes, then you pull the string to find out if you’re right. The cow says, “moo.” Good job, Tiny. Here’s a cookie.

Trump has spent four years boasting about this test, famously telling a Fox News reporter who didn’t challenge him how he was able to repeatedly say “Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV” in order and how that performance “amazed” the testers. Never in the history of the world has anyone been as good at remembering “Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV’ in order. Trump said, “If you get it in order, you get extra points.” Maybe they drew a smiley face on the test and gave him an attaboy.

Trump also bragged to the audience that the test included some math. “Then it’s multiply 3,293 times four, divide by 3. They have plenty of tough stuff.” Except Trump didn’t tell the crowd the answer which is 4,390.67. No, I’m not good at math either, but I’m not going to get in front of a crowd and boast about answering a fictional math question without giving the answer. Me smart good.

Trump has been boasting about his mental capabilities recently because Nikki Haley has stated he and President Biden are too old for the presidency.

Oddly enough, and from the Department of Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-Here, a majority of voters believe Trump is more mentally sharp than President Biden, even though Trump was on a stage last week confusing Nikki Haley with Nancy Pelosi and rambling that “Nikki Haley was in charge of security” at the Capitol on January 6, 2021.

A poll conducted last November by ABC News found that voters believe Trump is mentally and physically healthier than Biden. What this poll proves is that Republicans are much better at messaging than Democrats. Republicans have spent the past four years lying about President Biden’s ethics, physical health, and mental sharpness. “Dementia Joe” is one of their talking points while Donald Trump engages in word salads on a daily basis.

Voters have watched Trump ramble incoherently for eight years, calling Tim Cook “Tim Apple,” mentioning invisible airplanes and Revolutionary War airports, needing baby steps and golf carts to get around, and needing two hands to hold a plastic bottle of water, yet they believe he’s mentally and physically healthier than President Biden who works out daily, bicycles, and could probably explain every intricate detail of every government policy and legislation. Again, Republicans are good at messaging, even if it is all lies.

Jonathan Reiner, a cardiologist and professor of medicine and surgery at the George Washington School of Medicine & Health Sciences, said of the cognitive test Trump took, “It’s a very, very low bar for somebody who carries the nuclear launch codes in their pocket to pass and certainly nothing to brag about.”

If you’re bragging about passing a mental cognitive test, then you probably don’t have the mental capabilities to be president.

 

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I'm just petty enough to laugh at this:

 

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