Dillards 93: Counting the Cost - Indeed

[Pleiades_06]

5 hours ago, St.Clara said:

That being said, I do take Jill´s account with a huge grain of salt. Her way of perceiving things tends to be very black and white (e.g. happy childhood -> TV-show made it all bad). That is a very useful survival strategy that I will freely admit to having used myself. But it tends to somewhat distort reality.

Tia Levings writes that she feels it was too early for Jill to share her story, particularly because she’s still in survival mode. I can’t figure out how to link it-Tia shared this on Instagram/Substack. I found that to be a very interesting insight.

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, Pleiades_06 said:

Tia Levings writes that she feels it was too early for Jill to share her story, particularly because she’s still in survival mode. I can’t figure out how to link it-Tia shared this on Instagram/Substack. I found that to be a very interesting insight.

I could see her writing another book 5 years down the road. 

[Bethy]

34 minutes ago, Pleiades_06 said:

Tia Levings writes that she feels it was too early for Jill to share her story, particularly because she’s still in survival mode. I can’t figure out how to link it-Tia shared this on Instagram/Substack. I found that to be a very interesting insight.

I feel like Tia's viewpoint is that Jill will only be fully healed when she walks away from any religion completely, as Tia seems to have done. I agree that Jill's story is far from over (and I agree with @JermajestyDuggar that another book might follow) but I don't think she needs to let go of faith entirely to heal from the ways her parents/Gothard used religion to harm. 

[CanadianMamam]

14 minutes ago, Bethy said:

I feel like Tia's viewpoint is that Jill will only be fully healed when she walks away from any religion completely, as Tia seems to have done. I agree that Jill's story is far from over (and I agree with @JermajestyDuggar that another book might follow) but I don't think she needs to let go of faith entirely to heal from the ways her parents/Gothard used religion to harm. 

I didn’t get that impression that Tia thinks Jill needs to abandon her faith. More that Jill needs to be able to separate more from her story and process the emotions before she can accurately write about it. 

[noseybutt]

Meh. Survivor stories are interesting no matter what stage or process of recovery the teller is undergoing. 

 I very much see Jill as a work-in-progress and I mean that as a compliment. She is healing and growing and who knows where she will end up. 

Survivors who are very far down the road of healing sometimes can be hard to listen to because things are so dissected and intellectualized. 

[FunDieDumDum]

19 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

I learned mine from records. Each number had a song with a theme. I remember the 4s were sort of Egyptian/Middle Eastern.

They did that in my school, too! I don’t recall any of the songs for the lower numbers because by then I already knew them without thinking, but for years I would still sing the song for the 12’s to help me calculate things in my head (something which I’ve never been very good at doing - I’m too visually oriented). I can still sing that damn song to this day! But I don’t remember anything even marginally ‘exotic’ as far as the music was concerned. It was all rather cheesy, but still effective!

[Baba O'Riley]

Jill's book is #5 on the  NY Times "Combined Print and E-book Nonfiction" Best Seller list for October 8, 2023 (this is the official publication date for the newspaper's hard copy of its Book Review).  It is #4 for "Hardcover Nonfiction" for the same date, https://www.nytimes.com/books/best-sellers?smid=url-share

[St.Clara]

Jill and Derick preparing for the People magazine interview, seeing the finished book for the first time etc.

Nothing groundbreaking but entertaining to look at.

Spoiler

 

 

[Giraffe]

Wow, their house looks huge! Good for them!

[Cam]

5 hours ago, Pleiades_06 said:

Tia Levings writes that she feels it was too early for Jill to share her story, particularly because she’s still in survival mode. I can’t figure out how to link it-Tia shared this on Instagram/Substack. I found that to be a very interesting insight.

I disagree with Tia on this. I think it was cathartic for Jill to get all that she did down in book form. It had to be incredibly therapeutic. The memoir is a literary mark in time that she can look at and see for herself how far she’s come. She also needed to get her side of the story out and since she did, she now has more support than ever. That has to be extremely validating. I think the book is a huge part of her healing process and will only help her move forward in life.

Edited September 30, 2023 by Cam

[Bethy]

27 minutes ago, Cam said:

I disagree with Tia on this. I think it was cathartic for Jill to get all that she did down in book form. It had to be incredibly therapeutic. The memoir is a literary mark in time that she can look at and see for herself how far she’s come. She also needed to get her side of the story out and since she did, she now has more support than ever. That has to be extremely validating. I think the book is a huge part of her healing process and will only help her move forward in life.

Jill talks in her memoir about being a natural-born people pleaser. I think that receiving support for standing up against her parents is incredibly important and helpful because going against the family grain is tough for any people-pleaser, and utterly terrifying in Gothard's system where they seem to have a lot of anecdotes about young adults who were "rebelling" and "going out from under their umbrella of protection" and ended up dying in an accident, with the implication clearly being that going against your parents' wishes could literally end your life. 

[Bobology]

As Jill came to the realization that her father lied to her, cheated her, tricked her and controlled her, I wonder if she ever thought that if he was doing that to her (and her siblings) then what methods did he use in his various businesses with people who weren't his children? How many people or companies did he cheat to get what he wanted? It must go very deep and Jill and Derick probably now see that.

[marmalade]

I'm sure JB has had some very unsavory business dealings in his history. Starting with the plethora of LLCs. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

3 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I'm sure JB has had some very unsavory business dealings in his history. Starting with the plethora of LLCs. 

One of the reviews of Jill’s book I read said, “Girl, you literally outed your daddy for tax fraud.” And yes I’m here for it.

If Jill ever did decide to return to reality TV I’d love to see her do a show about deconstruction. They could call it “De-count-structing Duggars” I’d watch it.

[Kiki03910]

Not so totally off-topic, tonight I discovered a book about one of my favorite films, "The Witch".

https://shop.a24films.com/products/the-witch-book

It's one of my favorite movies ever (and I'm a book person 99% of the time). The setting is 1630s New England and it is focused on a family's (well, patriarch's) interpretation of a very fundamentalist (Puritan/Pilgrim) religion, which is so extreme that they're ejected from their community. This may have been discussed elsewhere here; I'm fairly new and ignorant. It just reminded me of the Duggars and Bates and IBLP ... so extreme.

I was interested anyway because I have many early New England settlers in my background, and am a descendant of John Proctor and a number of other accused witches, but for some reason tonight it all clicked with these fundy families ("HERE BE CRAZIES") on a whole other level.

[SassyPants]

15 hours ago, Bobology said:

As Jill came to the realization that her father lied to her, cheated her, tricked her and controlled her, I wonder if she ever thought that if he was doing that to her (and her siblings) then what methods did he use in his various businesses with people who weren't his children? How many people or companies did he cheat to get what he wanted? It must go very deep and Jill and Derick probably now see that.

True. This is like Trump saying yesterday in a speech in CA, that looters should be shot, on the spot. So people stealing should be shot. OK, Mr Trump, what should happen to people found guilty of tax fraud? How about a POTUS being found culpable for election fraud? What should the punishment be for those crimes?

These narcissists can not think about anyone or anything but themselves. ZERO empathy at all. 

[indianabones]

On 9/30/2023 at 2:00 PM, St.Clara said:

Jill and Derick preparing for the People magazine interview, seeing the finished book for the first time etc.

Nothing groundbreaking but entertaining to look at.

  Hide contents

 

 

For anyone who doesn't feel like watching but is curious about the "Robbery in NYC" tease, Derick was bringing several Starbucks coffees back to their hotel and someone grabbed his pumpkin spice latte out of the cup carrier.

[SPHASH]

If JB gets audited I hope he loses so much he and Michelle are reduced to eating bean sandwiches and tater tot casserole for the rest of their life plus they are reduced to relying on their church for help.

[Cam]

56 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

If JB gets audited I hope he loses so much he and Michelle are reduced to eating bean sandwiches and tater tot casserole for the rest of their life plus they are reduced to relying on their church for help.

Not gonna be no inheritance if that happens!

[Audrey2]

2 hours ago, SPHASH said:

If JB gets audited I hope he loses so much he and Michelle are reduced to eating bean sandwiches and tater tot casserole for the rest of their life plus they are reduced to relying on their church for help.

The really mean side of me would be content if they lose even more and have to rotate amongst their kids' houses. Since the comfort of their kids never seem to bother them when they were children, getting stacked like cordwood in the tiny houses, maybe Jim Bob and Michelle should have to sleep in the living room where it would be difficult to have sweet fellowship. They would have to earn their keep and I'd like to see Michelle as the laundry and Jim Bob being put to work too.

[ven]

1 hour ago, Cam said:

Not gonna be no inheritance if that happens!

Well if you do the dividing of that inheritance amongst everyone.... its not going to a pot of gold lol 

[SPHASH]

1 hour ago, Cam said:

Not gonna be no inheritance if that happens!

That means they will all have to get actual jobs which IMO would be the best thing that happened to them.

[Funwithfundies]

On 9/30/2023 at 4:00 PM, St.Clara said:

Jill and Derick preparing for the People magazine interview, seeing the finished book for the first time etc.

Nothing groundbreaking but entertaining to look at.

This might just be a me thing but does anyone else get "Barry" (Bill Hader character) vibes from DD when he's being goofy? Not trying to imply that he comes off like an assassin lol

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, SPHASH said:

That means they will all have to get actual jobs which IMO would be the best thing that happened to them.

Yep. I think many will be limiting their family size once JB’s wallet with strings attached runs dry. 

[Coconut Flan]

Carry on here: