Michael and Brandon 7: Lying Low in Batesville

[RebeccaRay]

21 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Kensington wrote a glowing Fathers Day post about her dad RJ, so it seems they’re on very good terms. It leads me to believe RJ and Heather were either separated or divorced and the girls took his side. In some of the social media posts from Kensington, there’s still a lot of Jesus talk, but definitely not to fundie extremes.

The public condolences all seem directed at Heather’s parents, siblings and kids, but not to her husband. 

I've noticed that too how it's all towards the siblings but not the kids or Rj unless it came from someone on the Keilens side then it was to him and the kids

[JermajestyDuggar]

Michael’s post: 

[JDuggs]

Heather’s youngest posted. 

Spoiler

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

52 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Heather’s youngest posted. 

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It makes me wonder if her daughters are assuming she was drinking and driving since it was St Patrick’s Day.

[JDuggs]

4 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It makes me wonder if her daughters are assuming she was drinking and driving since it was St Patrick’s Day.

Without any facts, that’s what I would assume too. It’s very possible that the family has facts that aren’t public. I feel bad speculating because this woman is gone and I don’t know her real story. I hope her kids get some good therapy to deal with all the conflicted emotions they must be dealing with.

[dawn9476]

On 3/23/2024 at 10:57 AM, JDuggs said:

Heather’s youngest posted. 

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So she didn't have a good relationship with none of her kids. It wasn't just her two daughters. She didn't have a relationship with her 16-year-old son either?

[Mama Mia]

On 3/23/2024 at 8:51 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

It makes me wonder if her daughters are assuming she was drinking and driving since it was St Patrick’s Day.

Da

 

On 3/23/2024 at 7:57 AM, JDuggs said:

Heather’s youngest posted. 

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Damn. That must have been a REALLY bad relationship. 

[nokidsmom]

Wow, that's all pretty sad.   Sudden loss of the mom amidst all the complicated feelings regarding her.  I hope they all can find some peace.  

[AussieKrissy]

Oh my mother’s heart bleeds for those kids. I would be devastated if my relationship with my child was like that. For them and for me.  I would miss them so much and be so sad that they weren’t missing me. I hope they all find peace and don’t repeat generational mistakes.   

[BullyJBG]

It's the moment we've all been waiting for! They just posted a YouTube video about their infertility journey and miscarriage.

[gobucks]

I cried watching their video, not even going to lie. A lot of it is focused on their relationship with God during the trials of infertility, but they do mention a few things. 1, they would do some testing *on both of them* then save up for some more testing. They didn't get a lot of clear answers from the doctors. A friend from church recommended a doctor and they waited 10 months for the appointment. They did genetic testing. Doctor said with her clotting disorders, a lot of options were off the table and he couldn't really help them. They found out they were pregnant a week later. They show the announcements to family and ultrasound appts. It was a girl named Eden Miracle, due at Christmas 2021. Brandon said that his darkest times were after the loss of Eden, but Michael's darkest times were during those first few years of infertility. She enjoyed every second of her pregnancy. They say that adoption is a long road but it seem as though they are pursing it.

[NonSOTDRT Teacher]

I don’t know if I’ll be up to watch it or not because I’m walking a similar path with infertility. My husband and I have been pursuing IVF, but it’s extremely expensive and I don’t know if we’ll be able to make it happen or not. While I don’t want to see another child born in the cult, I hurt so badly for Micheal. It’s an extremely painful road to walk, and she does seem like an extremely sweet person who greatly desires to be a mother. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of seeing your siblings have baby after baby and having to hide the pain while offering them a sincere congrats. 

[HermioneSparrow]

Just watched it. It broke my heart, I sobbed through the entire video. It was truly the most genuine video I've ever seen from the Bates overall.

I'm very sorry for them.. maybe it's because i'm an empath but I have such a soft spot for Michaela. No snark from me.

[Kiki03910]

5 hours ago, NonSOTDRT Teacher said:

I don’t know if I’ll be up to watch it or not because I’m walking a similar path with infertility. My husband and I have been pursuing IVF, but it’s extremely expensive and I don’t know if we’ll be able to make it happen or not. While I don’t want to see another child born in the cult, I hurt so badly for Micheal. It’s an extremely painful road to walk, and she does seem like an extremely sweet person who greatly desires to be a mother. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain of seeing your siblings have baby after baby and having to hide the pain while offering them a sincere congrats. 

My heart goes out to you, and to everyone else on this path. Take care of yourself.

[llucie]

It was sad to watch the videos of them finding out she was pregnant and going to the ultrasound and seeing how happy they were, i dont think i have ever seen Michaela so happy. And you could tell their families were so happy for them too, Brandons mom cried when they told her and i have never seen the Bates as excited for a baby announcement.

They mention that because of her genetic issues (clotting dissorders and she says she has MTHFR in the comments) doctors have told them she is not a good candidate for fertility treatments and that even if she gets pregnant she will likely miscarry. So i guess that puts to rest the rumours that they are ideologically against fertility treatments.

And also they are pursuing adoption at the moment.

Edited April 7 by llucie
spelling

[JermajestyDuggar]

I imagine they will do adoption here in the US because overseas adoption can be so expensive. I can’t imagine them doing foster to adopt. Even though that’s the cheapest route. And honestly that’s where all the adoptable kids are in the US. But I think they will try to adopt a baby straight from birth. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I will say my neighbor did foster to adopt and they were matched with a 2 year old. So it’s possible to do foster to adopt with young children if that’s what they want. 

[llucie]

I wouldnt be surprised if they did international adoption (maybe in latin america, Gil church was just doing a missioncation on an orphanage there last month) , it is very expensive but they could have been saving for years. There was rumours that years ago they already had a failed private adoption, if thats the case i wonder if they would pursue it again.

[rebeccawriter01]

I wish the best for her. I can't say that I would want another child to be raised in IBLP or anything similar. But it isn't my decision to make. I hope that whatever route they take or if nothing happens at all that she is at peace with that outcome. 

17 hours ago, llucie said:

They mention that because of her genetic issues (clotting dissorders and she says she has MTHFR in the comments) doctors have told them she is not a good candidate for fertility treatments and that even if she gets pregnant she will likely miscarry. So i guess that puts to rest the rumours that they are ideologically against fertility treatments.

And also they are pursuing adoption at the moment.

I think it is a good sign that they were open to discussing such treatments and possibilities with doctors. We'll never know their full beliefs on the subject though. They didn't have to make a decision since it was made for them by science and nature. 

As for adoption, they are saying they are open to it and considering but waiting for "God to make His plans clear" to them. That can be interpreted as they want to adopt but don't have an agency or plan in place for domestic, foster, international, etc. yet. Or it could mean they haven't 100% decided yet. 

As a mother who adopted internationally because my state made it nearly impossible to adopt as a single person any other way, I will say time is not on their side here. If they plan to go with international adoption, some countries don't allow babies or even toddlers to go to couples where both parents are over the age of 35, 40, 45, etc. Options and opportunties can dwindle after certain ages and before the younger end of the age range. That's not the case in every country, but does impact things to the point that some of the agencies won't even take on a couple past a certain age because of the red tape. 

[Expectopatronus]

My sister adopted from Haiti and was in her 40’s at the time. My niece was 2.5 at the first visit and then due to errors from both countries was almost 4 when she came home. My sister holds the record for the longest delay. They could certainly adopt a toddler from Haiti. Poverty, HIV and violence means that there are a huge number of children needing families. 
I think my niece is fantastic; she’s funny, creative, artistic, empathetic and cute as a button (yes, I am a doting auntie). The other kids from her orphanage will also have gifts to share with a loving family and deserve a chance. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

My sister adopted from Haiti and was in her 40’s at the time. My niece was 2.5 at the first visit and then due to errors from both countries was almost 4 when she came home. My sister holds the record for the longest delay. They could certainly adopt a toddler from Haiti. Poverty, HIV and violence means that there are a huge number of children needing families. 
I think my niece is fantastic; she’s funny, creative, artistic, empathetic and cute as a button (yes, I am a doting auntie). The other kids from her orphanage will also have gifts to share with a loving family and deserve a chance. 

I think it’s probably best if they adopt a white child. Because the Bates family has a history of racism. I know Kelly’s mom adopted her two black sisters. But they had that confederate room and the whole George Floyd situation makes me think they will probably always be racist. 

[marmalade]

Maybe Michael isn't racist? It's possible. We don't know what she thinks. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

33 minutes ago, marmalade said:

Maybe Michael isn't racist? It's possible. We don't know what she thinks. 

Michael is extremely close with her family. She will bring a child around them constantly. Even if Michael isn’t, her family is. 

[marmalade]

I thought of that. I think most would accept the child because Michael wants it so badly. Whoever it was who shouted "George Floyd?" No hope for that one.

[Melissa1977]

50 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I thought of that. I think most would accept the child because Michael wants it so badly

I think Bates would accept a black baby and  probably love him/her (especially those living close). The problem is that racism is deep on them and while not rejecting that particular kid, and even loving that particular kid, the comments and attitude towards black people would have a negative impact in the kid. 

I know many people who adopted internationally. Decades ago it was possible (but not easy) to get babies, but nowadays it's extremely difficult.