Jana Duggar 16: Living in a Tiny House in Daddy's Backyard

[LillyP]

I think Jana just has a lot of emotional baggage surrounding her life and childhood and being a sister mom. I don't for one second believe there were no suiters for her. If anything I think she just didn't feel "called" to any of the potential guys coming around and then...BAM...before she knew it she's become an old maid in that culture. That's not to say those guys aren't out there, but I'd bet at this stage pickings are slim for guys her age who don't have something "wrong" with them. Otherwise they too would have been married off earlier. 

[SassyPants]

Jana has given a description of her perfect man. She has also stated on at least 1 occasion that there was “someone” she was interested in, but he was no longer available. Based on Jana’s own statement, I think this person chose someone else. 

I’ve always thought this person might have been Chad Paine.

[patsymae]

I just don't see Jana as having any problems. She appears to be Meech 2.0 and like it. She may or may not be interested in marriage. She was not molested by Smuggar and she held the keys to the castle, or codes to access to the internet and all that. At least for the public, she showed no evidence of feeling burdened by the childcare, even during the Josie episode. Just as Josh was a graphic artist or whatever, her parents touted her as a concert pianist, and they put property in her name. While I'm sure she did her share of drudge work, and had to share her bed with a baby or toddler for most of her life, I get the impression that really didn't bother her that much and she liked getting to play assistant Mom in charge as well as confidante to her mom's headship, while playing the harp and gardening and doing her rehab or gardening projects.
I see Jana as an actual, but not publicly acknowledged, golden child, who now enjoys indulging in her hobbies while maintaining her status as the one of the older girls who cleverly never rocked the boat.

[Cam]

8 hours ago, patsymae said:

I just don't see Jana as having any problems. She appears to be Meech 2.0 and like it. She may or may not be interested in marriage. She was not molested by Smuggar and she held the keys to the castle, or codes to access to the internet and all that. At least for the public, she showed no evidence of feeling burdened by the childcare, even during the Josie episode. Just as Josh was a graphic artist or whatever, her parents touted her as a concert pianist, and they put property in her name. While I'm sure she did her share of drudge work, and had to share her bed with a baby or toddler for most of her life, I get the impression that really didn't bother her that much and she liked getting to play assistant Mom in charge as well as confidante to her mom's headship, while playing the harp and gardening and doing her rehab or gardening projects.
I see Jana as an actual, but not publicly acknowledged, golden child, who now enjoys indulging in her hobbies while maintaining her status as the one of the older girls who cleverly never rocked the boat.

Definitely a fair assessment. “Assistant Mom in charge” is a good description. But not just that. She has always been JB’s gal Friday. With his wife continuously pregnant, Jana was JB’s go-to, kind of like a dog that jumps in the truck whenever you’re going somewhere and you need a trusted companion. He basically conditioned her from a young age to bend and be 100% supportive of him. In a huge family, I think each child is trying to carve out their own special identity and Jana chose this.

Edited June 14, 2023 by Cam

[Travelfan]

It doesn’t really matter whether Jana is happy with her life or not, whether she prefers being a SAHD in a tiny house and gardening or whether she would prefer to be married with several children. The terrible thing is that she never had any choices except for those two options!  Whether she’s happy with the life she has or whether she pines for the other one is irreverent.  The sad thing is that she doesn’t even realize she could/should have had a million other options!  The true tragedy is that on an intellectual level she knows she could make other choices, but she has been brainwashed to believe anything outside those two options is sin and rebellion against god.  In order to be good and in gods favor she only had 2 options, and that is tragic!

[viii]

8 hours ago, Travelfan said:

The sad thing is that she doesn’t even realize she could/should have had a million other options!  

We have zero idea if this is true. We have zero idea what Jana is thinking. 

[imokit]

20 hours ago, Travelfan said:

The sad thing is that she doesn’t even realize she could/should have had a million other options!  The true tragedy is that on an intellectual level she knows she could make other choices, but she has been brainwashed to believe anything outside those two options is sin and rebellion against god.  In order to be good and in gods favor she only had 2 options, and that is tragic!

She knows she has other options.  For whatever reason she's choosing not to take them.

She's been JB&Ms number 2 since she was a very young child (way too young), while JD floated along and Josh was worshipped, Jana had the responsibility.  As she got older and the family got famous and young sisters got able to do more child rearing (ie Jessa/Jinger stopped being viewed as needing looking after and were more moved to the workhorse group) she's taken more responsibility in other areas.   We know she managed the family's social media, she's had more access and direct communication with the outside world than most of the kidults and used to be the one responding to Duggar questions on social media.

She also has contact with sisters such as Jinger.  She was there a few weeks ago doing DIY for her.  Jinger has branched out to a different shade of cult without loosing her family (as opposed to Jill who has more freedom but a bigger a personal cost).

Jana's seen various levels of separation be done in various different ways.

We have no idea why she stays.  She could be a true believer,  she could be waiting for mister right, she could be staying until the littles are out the house, she could just be enjoying a nearly empty nest after years of child rearing.

As @viii says, we have no idea what she's thinking.

But she definitely knows she has options.

[Nikedagain?]

On 6/13/2023 at 10:26 AM, SassyPants said:

Jana has given a description of her perfect man. She has also stated on at least 1 occasion that there was “someone” she was interested in, but he was no longer available. Based on Jana’s own statement, I think this person chose someone else. 

I’ve always thought this person might have been Chad Paine.

Could be. It fits.

When I was 15 (adjusted age for Jana being a stunted young adult), I was going to marry Tommy Shaw. Now I am an old cat lady obsessed with his daughter's content. People change. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Jana is also friends with Sarah Maxwell. Who moved out of the house of her extremely controlling father at age 39. Then decided to do some online dating and met her now husband there. Jana knows people who have gotten out. So she’s aware. But it’s hard to know what she thinks about all this. 

Edited June 15, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[Travelfan]

17 hours ago, imokit said:

She knows she has other options.  For whatever reason she's choosing not to take them.

She's been JB&Ms number 2 since she was a very young child (way too young), while JD floated along and Josh was worshipped, Jana had the responsibility.  As she got older and the family got famous and young sisters got able to do more child rearing (ie Jessa/Jinger stopped being viewed as needing looking after and were more moved to the workhorse group) she's taken more responsibility in other areas.   We know she managed the family's social media, she's had more access and direct communication with the outside world than most of the kidults and used to be the one responding to Duggar questions on social media.

She also has contact with sisters such as Jinger.  She was there a few weeks ago doing DIY for her.  Jinger has branched out to a different shade of cult without loosing her family (as opposed to Jill who has more freedom but a bigger a personal cost).

Jana's seen various levels of separation be done in various different ways.

We have no idea why she stays.  She could be a true believer,  she could be waiting for mister right, she could be staying until the littles are out the house, she could just be enjoying a nearly empty nest after years of child rearing.

As @viii says, we have no idea what she's thinking.

But she definitely knows she has options.

I said that intellectually she knows that different options exist. The problem is she has been conditioned not to see them as viable options but as dark sinful paths to avoid. When I was a teen/young adult in a very conservative Christian environment I knew that I COULD go out to a club/party and I could drink alcohol and I could have sex. I knew other people did those things. But I never saw those a viable choices I could make. I saw them as “bad” sinful choices and I avoided them. Sure Jana knows there are other options, but she’s not free to leave home and pursue college/work/apartment because she has been brainwashed to a point where those things would go against her own  conscience. The same as how I could chose to go out and rob a bank tomorrow but I won’t because it would violate my conscience. It’s sad that she was raised in such a restrictive way to where doing very normal human things are seen as wrong and sinful. To someone in her position the only 2 good/godly choices are SAHD or getting married (and possibly a third could be going to work for another large family helping homeschool their young children).   There is not an option of going away to college or to get an apartment/job. Choosing those things would be rebellion. Sure she’s seen people do those things and she probably prays for their wayward souls. I stand by that her choices were brainwashed out of her. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

On 6/15/2023 at 4:45 AM, imokit said:

She's been JB&Ms number 2 since she was a very young child (way too young), while JD floated along and Josh was worshipped, Jana had the responsibility.  As she got older and the family got famous and young sisters got able to do more child rearing (ie Jessa/Jinger stopped being viewed as needing looking after and were more moved to the workhorse group) she's taken more responsibility in other areas.   We know she managed the family's social media, she's had more access and direct communication with the outside world than most of the kidults and used to be the one responding to Duggar questions on social media.

For fellow fans of the Netflix series "Welcome to Eden", she's the Mayka of the situation. She seems to have more "power" and bandwidth than the other captives, but at the end, she is still at the complete mercy of a couple of total nutcases. 

Edited June 16, 2023 by Shouldabeenacowboy

[HeartsAFundie]

"Still At The Complete Mercy Of A Couple Of Total Nutcases" makes for a good Jana thread title. 

Edited June 17, 2023 by HeartsAFundie

[CaptainFunderpants]

There was a lot of smoke about her and Stephen Wissman. She was at family Christmas, he was at a ton of stuff. I'm dying to know what caused that break-up, though it's highly doubtful we ever will. Part of me wonders if they may get back together at some point. He has more options than her, but... Such a small dating pool seems like they would be ripe for circling back.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

I think Jana like Sarah Maxwell could date just about any right wing conservative Christian type. JB would be okay with it since she's older. I don't think the dating pool is limited to just their type of fundies. 

[SassyPants]

22 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I think Jana like Sarah Maxwell could date just about any right wing conservative Christian type. JB would be okay with it since she's older. I don't think the dating pool is limited to just their type of fundies. 

But Jana has described the characteristics she desires in a partner. This also included someone local, so those factors do limit her potential pool. 

[marmalade]

58 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

But Jana has described the characteristics she desires in a partner. This also included someone local, so those factors do limit her potential pool. 

If she wanted someone local (when did she say this, ten years ago?), why was she with Stephen Wissmann? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

57 minutes ago, marmalade said:

If she wanted someone local (when did she say this, ten years ago?), why was she with Stephen Wissmann? 

I always figured Stephen was a choice because he’s a pilot. And he could pretty quickly fly her home if needed. Unlike a long car ride. 

[theotherelise]

On 6/18/2023 at 4:00 PM, SassyPants said:

But Jana has described the characteristics she desires in a partner. This also included someone local, so those factors do limit her potential pool. 

I mean, if local includes anything within 1.5 hours, she could find tens of thousands of white, conservative, bible belt christian men looking for a wife to submit to his godly leadership. Tulsa (411k), Fayetteville (95k), Bentonville (56k), Rogers (71k), Joplin (51k) are all within 1.5 hours. If you go up to 3 hours from home, you'd include Springfield MO (170k) Oklahoma City (1.4M), and Branson (13k). 

I believe Jana has a ton of options for marriage still. And she has options, however difficult it may be for her personally to reconcile taking them, for pursuing work or independence or education. I think she believes very very strongly in the style of courtship that she was groomed to idealize. I think she wants a man who meets all her wish list items and whom she has been praying for for 20 years to reach out to her father and ask permission to court her. Then I think she wants to feel an urging from the holy spirit that the man she is courting is the one God has prepared for her. 

But yeah, she could get out on christian mingle and be married by the end of the year if she wanted to.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Did we figure out which website Sarah Maxwell used to meet her husband? I guess I always assumed it was Christian mingle. Jana could also try farmers only. 

[browngrl]

It is hard to know what exactly is going on with Jana as she is pretty much withdrawn from social media. However, if she is unhappy - she is not unhappy enough to make a change.

TBH I don't think she is unhappy about her life. She seems to have a job she likes, childcare is  less of an issue now that her younger sibs are growing up, she gets to travel and to spend much of her time with her best friend - it is not that bad really - especially considering the alternatives ie marry someone and immediately step into the role of stepmom to many or immediately start trying for as many children as her fertility will allow.

Anyway there are some fundies who I dream will one day write a tell all and Jana is definitely on that list.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I wonder if she, like Michaela, has/had her eye on ONE specific person and it's him or no one.  If it was Chad or someone else who married another woman, I could see her getting to know people but never actually getting serious because she's still pining over whoever.  She'll probably marry eventually, maybe a widower or someone who came to the cult later in life like Tabitha Paine's beast of a husband.

[gustava]

On 6/21/2023 at 8:32 PM, browngrl said:

She seems to have a job she likes,

Does she have a "real" job outside home?

[browngrl]

On 6/23/2023 at 8:28 AM, gustava said:

Does she have a "real" job outside home?

I understood that she worked with her brothers constructing things - she certainly seems able to build stuff eg Jinger's new closet. 

[neuroticcat]

I think that even at age 30, if her parents are still all-in on IBLP and if she subscribes to any of the beliefs, she won't ever move out on her own. 

Marriage is really the only permissible way out for a woman. Even if she did rebel and do it, it might mean being ostracized by the family. Sure, Jill and Amy might help her, but there's probably still a ton of pressure to stay. 

Also, we assume the people inside are deconstructing in the way those outside are. Maybe not. Jana may not have even heard of Shiny Happy People let alone watched it. She could still have her internet controlled and monitored for all we know. Or she could secretly read whatever she wants or somewhere in between. She could be all in on the beliefs and as a result be very disciplined about who she listens to. She could have an entirely insular friend bubble that orients around IBLP. 

 

If any of that is the case, she wouldn't necessarily feel trapped. She'd just be stuck the same place all the girls were as teens where, whatever they felt, their reality was normal for them.

[viii]

Jana manages the family’s social media. Her internet is not restricted. I’d be very surprised if she was unaware of the documentary. 

We have no idea why Jana stays, but based off the things she has said in the past, the most likely option is that she stays because she believes in the lifestyle.