Meghan and Harry 5: Oprah, Racism, and Gossip! Oh My!

[DalmatianCat]

1 hour ago, Grandma D said:

Body language says a lot and someone also did a language analysis of the words and phrases she used and came to the same conclusion. These are experts in their field. But I don't need an expert to have the opinion that she is an opportunist. And I did mean the dress for Charlotte. That was when the situation happened. Kate had just given birth but had to help Megan who I don't think likes when things don't go her way. We each have our opinions. 

That story about the dress has been bugging me. We’ll never know Kate’s side of the story but the more Meghan brings it up the more I feel like she’s leaving out some details. She said in an interview that she thought Kate should have been more understanding knowing everything that was going on with her dad. But she never says what the problem with the dress was. Was there a problem with the dress that everyone kept deferring to her to make the final decisions on, and she refused to address it until Kate was fed up or did Kate say something like, “That is an ugly dress.”
(I doubt she thought it was an ugly dress because Charlotte was a flower girl for Eugenie, Pippa, Meghan, and some other family friend all in a little over a years time and the only obvious difference in how the dresses looked was the sash).

If it’s true that the dress was too small (or too tight and itchy from the netting underneath, or too long causing Charlotte to trip), I can see Kate (and any flower girl mom!) being concerned and bringing it up with bride. In Kate’s case she was probably well aware that if the dress was too long and made Charlotte trip or too uncomfortable and made her cry, those pictures of her daughter would be splashed across the tabloids. 
We only have Meghan’s side of the story, though, so we don’t know if Kate tried to bring it up with the seamstress and they refused to alter anything without Meghan’s permission and Meghan kept putting it off because she was dealing with her dad, or if Meghan kept saying, “I think it’s fine” or “I’ll get to it later.” 
The only way I can see her crying over it is if Kate finally said, “Charlotte will not wear this dress until it is altered” and Meghan realized she had dropped the ball and was tired, stressed, and exhausted. Meghan stressing that Kate is “good person” makes me think she’s well aware that Kate’s comment wasn’t the actual real issue in the situation, but she still wanted her version of the story out.

And I wouldn’t even be wondering this much about a flower girl dress if Meghan didn’t keep bringing it up!!!!

Edited March 17, 2021 by DalmatianCat
Typo

[Grandma D]

14 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Someone who knows that you should love a piece of jewelry you'll likely wear every day for the rest of your life, and rejection of a design is in no way a rejection of your husband?

Stuff like this makes me so glad I don't know some of you irl.  The judginess over the silliest things...I don't get it.

My husband picked out a wedding band I'm not in love with. I guess I would never let him know this because I love him and don't want to hurt his feelings. And every time I look at it it makes me remember his love for me. If I changed it be a different dynamic. But I am sentimental.  I feel this is just another example of Megan wanting what Megan wants. 

Edited March 17, 2021 by Grandma D

[viii]

If you're going to hate a stranger without a good reason, you should at least be able to spell their name correctly. ?‍♀️

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, Grandma D said:

My husband picked out a wedding band I'm not in love with. I guess I would never let him know this because I love him and don't want to hurt his feelings. Just me though. Just another example of Megan wanting what Megan wants. 

I hate this expression.  Of course she wants what she wants.  We ALL want what we want...by definition of wanting what we want in the first place.

If I felt I needed to wear a ring I didn't love because my ex would have been hurt if I'd told him I wanted something else I would have lost some respect for him.  I would have had an issue if I felt he was so emotionally fragile that he thought my having different tastes reflected on my love for him.  Not saying that your husband is, just that it's how I would have viewed it.

Kind of illustrates the danger in judging others for having a different relationship dynamic than our own.  If people are happy together and there is no abuse then why sit in judgement of how other people interact in their intimate relationships?  I only know what works for me, I'd never presume that dynamic should be the standard for others.

Edited March 17, 2021 by HerNameIsBuffy

[Grandma D]

2 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I hate this expression.  Of course she wants what she wants.  We ALL want what we want...by definition of wanting what we want in the first place.

If I felt I needed to wear a ring I didn't love because my ex would have been hurt if I'd told him I wanted something else I would have lost respect some respect for him.  I would have had an issue if I felt he was so emotionally fragile than expressing different tastes reflected on my love for him.  Not saying that your husband is, just that it's how I would have viewed it.

Kind of illustrates the danger in judging others for having a different relationship dynamic than our own.  If people are happy together and there is no abuse then why sit in judgement of how other people interact in their intimate relationships.  I only know what works for me, I'd never presume that dynamic should be the standard for others.

I knew this would be someone's response to me. To clarify. It seems Meghan wants what she wants without regard to others. That's my point. Of course there are things we all want but when others are involved you have to compromise and take into consideration their feelings. Of course my husband could handle me saying the band is not my style but I don't want him to feel that way. Its not that important to me. 

[Grandma D]

Meghan's poor me, look at me I'm a victim, look at my poor life just doesn't play well. I am sorry if she had difficulty adapting, that is understandable, it must be overwhelming, but getting on TV and playing victim isn't going to help. And referencing unconfirmed gossip that is hurting people who are at the end of their lives and have dedicated their whole lives to duty just rubs me the wrong way. I'm surprised at Oprah because she has been so vocal about living our lives in a positive way, not playing victim, along with all her spiritual beliefs that are so opposite to what we saw with this interview. What does she hope to gain from this? 

[tabitha2]

Sorry. Viii was calling me heartless for not being ultra sympathetic to Meghan and maybe I am a little I admit. Of course weddings are stressful in any circumstance but I firmly she both makes and brings unnecessary drama where every she goes   

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, Grandma D said:

I knew this would be someone's response to me. To clarify. It seems Meghan wants what she wants without regard to others. That's my point. Of course there are things we all want but when others are involved you have to compromise and take into consideration their feelings. Of course my husband could handle me saying the band is not my style but I don't want him to feel that way. Its not that important to me. 

That's why I was clear in saying I wasn't implying anything about your husband, just that we have different dynamics which work for us and that's how it should be.  

I have certainly known people in all walks of life who want their way regardless of how it affects others.  And certainly everyone has moments of selfishness in life where we're not as considerate of the needs of others as we should be.  I don't know Meghan as a person, but it is possible for a person to be both a victim in some respects and a bully in others.  Whether she is I don't know.  As someone who takes workplace complaints of harassment very seriously, I hope their investigation is conducted fairly and thoroughly.  If she treated those in her employ badly they have a right to have that addressed.  

Family dysfunction is rarely completely one sided.

1 minute ago, tabitha2 said:

Sorry. Viii was calling me heartless for not being ultra sympathetic to Meghan and maybe I am a little I admit. Of course weddings are stressful in any circumstance but I firmly she both makes and brings unnecessary drama where every she goes   

Thanks.  If you could quote the post to which you're responding it makes the conversation a little easier to follow.  

[viii]

1 minute ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I don't know Meghan as a person, but it is possible for a person to be both a victim in some respects and a bully in others.  Whether she is I don't know.  As someone who takes workplace complaints of harassment very seriously, I hope their investigation is conducted fairly and thoroughly.  If she treated those in her employ badly they have a right to have that addressed.  

Absolutely, and it is often people who are bullied become bullies themselves because it's a way for them to take back the control and power. I have no problems believing that Meghan could be a victim and bully all in one. My only issues with this are:

1) There's been nothing but praise for her as a person from all different sorts of people that have worked with her over the years. This would be prime time for truth to come out if she was difficult to work with, but everyone seems to be saying the opposite, even people that aren't friends with her and just worked briefly with her on a set. 

2) The timing - this apparently happened in 2018... why is it just coming to light in 2021 with an investigation? This is something that should be been looked into when it originally happened. The timing seems sus to me. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 minutes ago, Grandma D said:

Meghan's poor me, look at me I'm a victim, look at my poor life just doesn't play well. I am sorry if she had difficulty adapting, that is understandable, it must be overwhelming, but getting on TV and playing victim isn't going to help. And referencing unconfirmed gossip that is hurting people who are at the end of their lives and have dedicated their whole lives to duty just rubs me the wrong way. I'm surprised at Oprah because she has been so vocal about living our lives in a positive way, not playing victim, along with all her spiritual beliefs that are so opposite to what we saw with this interview. What does she hope to gain from this? 

I will never be surprised at Oprah jumping at any chance to thrust herself front and center with her pseudo "journalism."  People are talking about Oprah again so she's gotten what she wanted out of it.  

If by the unconfirmed gossip you mean what she said about a family member making a comment about the skin tone of their potential children I agree that shouldn't have been said unless she was willing to name a name.  Otherwise it just casts a shadow on a lot of people all but one innocent of having made the comment.  Save the cryptic stuff for the tabloid writers....if something is so egregious that they feel the public should know, then the public should know who said it.

Dedicating their lives to duty....we're going to have to disagree about that.  Some of you see the BRF and dutiful public servants and some of us see them as ....not that.   

[Grandma D]

I think there have been quite a few people who have been in Meghan's life in the past who have come out and said she was difficult to work with and she dropped them when they were no longer useful to her. The Pierce Morgan friendship is case in point. She wanted introductions in London and was friendly with him until she met Harry who I believe was her target all along. She had a fascination with Diana according to old friends and read all she could about her. And she supposedly wanted to be the warrior princess, which from appearances, that is what she is trying to be. If her intentions are for good then it will come out. But from what I've seen it has gone from bad to worse. She complained about her dad going to the press then she goes to the press in the same fashion. He has explained that what he did was a huge mistake and he is very sorry for it. He has also said he loves her and wants to reconnect. I hope they do. I think they feel the press is the only way to get through to her. 

[tabitha2]

59 minutes ago, viii said:

Absolutely, and it is often people who are bullied become bullies

1) There's been nothing but praise for her as a person from all different sorts of people that have worked with her over the years. This would be prime time for truth to come out if she was difficult to work with, but everyone seems to be saying the opposite, even people that aren't friends with her and just worked briefly with her on a set.

Yes. I know her co stars and production staff say that about her. But in the end it’s not how you treat people you see as equals or people you need to succeed in your profession. It’s simply in your best interest to be nice. If you don’t treat domestic staff or  lowly assistants with the same respect, understanding and kindness you are not a nice person.

Edited March 17, 2021 by tabitha2

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 minutes ago, viii said:

The timing - this apparently happened in 2018... why is it just coming to light in 2021 with an investigation? This is something that should be been looked into when it originally happened. The timing seems sus to me. 

It absolutely could be malicious timing, but not necessarily.  Sadly many workplaces ignore things like this until they are forced to confront it, so it's also possible they have to investigate now since it's so public.  

 

8 minutes ago, viii said:

There's been nothing but praise for her as a person from all different sorts of people that have worked with her over the years. This would be prime time for truth to come out if she was difficult to work with, but everyone seems to be saying the opposite, even people that aren't friends with her and just worked briefly with her on a set. 

That there aren't people coming out of the wood work bashing her is to her credit.  But to play devils advocate, she was never super powerful in those positions and one can act very differently as a B-C list actress who isn't coveted enough for roles to get away with being difficult and someone with a position of power over her staff as a member of the BRF.

I have no idea if any of the bullying stuff is true and I hope for the sake of everyone involved that the investigation is fair and transparent.

3 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

Yes. I know her co stars and production staff say that about her. But in the end it’s not how you treat people you see as equals or people who people you need to succeed in your profession. It’s simply in your best interest to be nice. If you don’t treat domestic staff or  lowly assistants with the same respect, understanding and kindness you are not a nice person.

If I were in her position I'd have considered it in my best interest to be very kind to my staff knowing how leaks happen and not wanting to give anyone ammo to use against me.

I personally opt for treating people with respect because we're all just people, but just saying even if that were not my inclination I'd have considered it good strategy to be nice to people.

But I do agree with you on the overarching concept that you can tell a lot more about a person by how they treat service personnel than how they treat their boss or peers.  

[HerNameIsBuffy]

14 minutes ago, Grandma D said:

She complained about her dad going to the press then she goes to the press in the same fashion. He has explained that what he did was a huge mistake and he is very sorry for it. He has also said he loves her and wants to reconnect. I hope they do. I think they feel the press is the only way to get through to her. 

Didn't he just do this again after this last interview?  I could swear he was on a morning show in the UK saying that he goes to the press when they don't contact him and will continue to do so.  Am I imagining this?

Honestly, based on her father's behavior Idk why anyone would hope they reconnect.  If anyone throws out toxic red flags it's her dad and half sister...going no contact with toxic family members is often the wisest choice.

[closetcagebaby]

18 minutes ago, Grandma D said:

I think there have been quite a few people who have been in Meghan's life in the past who have come out and said she was difficult to work with and she dropped them when they were no longer useful to her. The Pierce Morgan friendship is case in point. She wanted introductions in London and was friendly with him until she met Harry who I believe was her target all along. She had a fascination with Diana according to old friends and read all she could about her. And she supposedly wanted to be the warrior princess, which from appearances, that is what she is trying to be. If her intentions are for good then it will come out. But from what I've seen it has gone from bad to worse. She complained about her dad going to the press then she goes to the press in the same fashion. He has explained that what he did was a huge mistake and he is very sorry for it. He has also said he loves her and wants to reconnect. I hope they do. I think they feel the press is the only way to get through to her. 

Are you REALLY trying to paint Piers fucking Morgan as a victim of her machinations here? Come on dude. After an hour with him I’d drop kick him into the sun.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, closetcagebaby said:

Are you REALLY trying to paint Piers fucking Morgan as a victim of her machinations here? Come on dude. After an hour with him I’d drop kick him into the sun.

Marry me!  

25 minutes ago, Grandma D said:

and she dropped them when they were no longer useful to her.

I've heard others say this and it's one of those things where I feel like I'm missing something.

Are these professional relationships?  If so then don't we all have work place relationships where we had a good rapport and even enjoyed superficial friendships and then didn't keep in touch when one party left the company?  If you want to look at this in a cynical way it's the ultimate in dropping someone once they are no longer useful.  

I hate the stupid networking advice that tells people to keep in touch every so often in case the connection will be useful down the road.  If I can help you later I will, but don't send me an email every six months to ping me like we're friends when it's just business.  

Not every relationship is based on deep personal ties...those where the connection exists for mutual benefit of course would dissolve once the benefits do. 

[Grandma D]

11 minutes ago, closetcagebaby said:

Are you REALLY trying to paint Piers fucking Morgan as a victim of her machinations here? Come on dude. After an hour with him I’d drop kick him into the sun.

Hey I know, but she still befriended him while it suited her! It's just an example. He is no victim. 

[closetcagebaby]

17 minutes ago, Grandma D said:

Hey I know, but she still befriended him while it suited her! It's just an example. He is no victim. 

Not to belabor the point too hard but it seems like they chatted on Twitter a bit and met in person ONCE. Doesn’t seem like a huge friendship to me. And that’s according to Piers himself who I would assume have reason to make it seem even friendlier than reality. 

[formergothardite]

My husband hated the wedding band I picked out for him and went and bought a new one. One thing I have learned in my years in therapy is that communicating our wants is important in a relationship. Wanting what you want is nothing to be ashamed of! Way too often women especially are taught to keep sweet and pretend we like stuff so we won’t risk hurting feelings. I want my husband to be happy with what I give him, and not quietly hate it while pretending to like it. The fact like Meghan can be honest with Harry and he didn’t appear to be upset is a good sign. 
 

So shaming her for expressing her wants is rather in the bitch eating crackers category.

Edited March 17, 2021 by formergothardite

[viii]

And I think she only changed the band, I don't think she changed the actual design of the ring. Seems like a pretty small detail to nitpick. 

Edited March 17, 2021 by viii

[tabitha2]

Look. I know there are racist morons who hate Meghan because she is Bi racial and spread ugliness and I know there may have been palace staff/officials who are the same or did not like her For being an American and Tabloids are just nasty trash. 
 

But if you actually take a look at the broken relationships in her life, the drama and controversy that started almost as soon as she wed, the history of lying or changing her stories, the bullying accusations, disregarding the privacy of others for her own benefit... they do make a pattern when taken together And it’s not pretty. 
 

 

[kachuu]

I didn't know too much about Piers/Meghan before googling it just now. Appears they met in person once for drinks & then went their separate ways. But when Piers really started to turn against her was after the wedding when he wasn't invited (the shame!)

 

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2021/03/piers-morgan-meghan-markle-meltdown-relationship-timeline.html

 

3 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

But if you actually take a look at the broken relationships in her life, the drama and controversy that started almost as soon as she wed, the history of lying or changing her stories, the bullying accusations, disregarding the privacy of others for her own benefit... they do make a pattern when taken together And it’s not pretty. 

Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. Cognitive bias where you basically see what you want to see.

Edited March 17, 2021 by kachuu

[tabitha2]

I mean... the accusations are there, the broken relationships with family are there, when know she lied on national television, the drama is apparent.

 

I am not making this up so how am seeing what I want to see? 

 

 

Edited March 17, 2021 by tabitha2

[formergothardite]

Her family is insanely crazy, it is again bitch eating crackers to shame her for a broken family relationship when those people are clearly dysfunctional and needed to be cut out of her life. 

It is hardly like the royal family paragon of not being a dysfunctional family. These are people who literally put the royal children on display like trained puppies the day they are born and expect people to bow in private to a grandmother. Stay quiet and bend to the family rules is not exactly a healthy and functioning family dynamic.

All these people are dysfunctional and need to just go away. 

[Grandma D]

Someone discussed doing a venn diagram and on one side you have dysfunctional family dynamics, cutting the family out, on the other side, dysfunctional family dynamics, cutting the family out. Now look at who is the common denominator in the middle.