Gwen Shamblin Lara 13: Shut UP You Paper-Thin Chip Licker!

[nelliebelle1197]

Gwen is Gwarderning. But she is still preaching the Gospel of the Holy Eating Disorder and my goodness, people are still buying it.

 

[Botkinetti]

Laughed out loud at the thread title. 

[Howl]

1 hour ago, Botkinetti said:

Laughed out loud at the thread title. 

It's like a Twitter @BidenInsultBot sorta title. 

[Hane]

This thread title reminds me of the insult “cake sniffer” in “A Series of Unfortunate Events.”

[SuperNova]

Hooray! My Gwen insult is a thread title. Haha.

[Giraffe]

I haven’t paid attention to Gwen Shamblin Lara for a while but came back because of the thread title. I love it! ?❤️

[thoughtful]

Could Gwen have a fear of swallowing?

https://swallowingdisorderfoundation.com/phagophobia-the-fear-of-eating/

Quote

Phagophobia is a word that comes from Greek phagein, “eat” and phobos, “fear”. It is a fear of swallowing that manifests in various symptoms without any apparent physical reason detectable by a traditional assessment. The disorder can wreak havoc on normal eating in a variety of ways. Patients may avoid certain types of food or textures, hyper-masticate (over-chew) their food, complain of food sticking, exhibit difficulty getting the swallow “started” and lose weight. All of these symptoms can create elevated levels of anxiety and cause patients to socially isolate themselves during mealtimes.

 

[AmazonGrace]

Gwen is dumber than you thought.
 

Spoiler

 

God’s Natural Biological Feedback

June 05, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

When you learn to eat regular foods in the correct amounts using hunger and fullness, you have achieved 90 percent of sound and life-giving nutrition. How is this possible? It is because calories are the main nutrient need, and you can hardly make a mistake. Glucose is the chemical [C6H12O6] that you need to run each cell in the body. All the food groups are simply chemicals that can be converted to glucose by the liver, thus providing the needed fuel to run on. The last 10 percent is learning what the body is calling for, and you can sense the need for fluids, calories, and vitamins. For example, you may crave orange juice from time to time or you might have a hankering for milk and cereal. You do not want at lunch what your body asked for at breakfast, and you do not crave for dinner what you ate at lunch. You have had sensations of never wanting to eat a certain food again when you have overdone it. This is all biological feedback that is programmed into the brilliantly made body you have been given.

 

She thinks healthy nutrition is just a matter of eating little enough of any unhealthy crap that you might be craving at the time.

If you desire to eat donuts, please know that God put that desire into your brilliantly crafted body because your  health requires donuts just at this moment.

[CTRLZero]

So, 90% of your diet can be just anything [aka regular foods].  I interpreted the following 10% based on witnessing Gwen's own eating habits.  (Have I ever seen her actually eat anything?  Hmmm.)

Quote

The last 10 percent is learning what the body is calling for, and you can sense the need for fluids [wine], calories [licking chips], and vitamins [wine].

 

 

[thoughtful]

On 6/4/2020 at 6:24 PM, Giraffe said:

I haven’t paid attention to Gwen Shamblin Lara for a while but came back because of the thread title. I love it! ?❤️

Have you tried saying "Paper Thin Chip Licker," very fast, ten times? It would make a good warm-up for an actor.

[church_of_dog]

8 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Have you tried saying "Paper Thin Chip Licker," very fast, ten times? It would make a good warm-up for an actor.

At first glance I was sure the phrase "paper clip" was in there somewhere.

 

 

[Giraffe]

10 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Have you tried saying "Paper Thin Chip Licker," very fast, ten times? It would make a good warm-up for an actor.

I got about 5 correct and then devolved into “paper thick chick lipper.”

[AmazonGrace]

I think we are launching into last year's nutrition rants so I'm going to save everyone's  time and tell you what the devotionals will say in the next few weeks. All food groups are just calories at the end of the day,  liver converts stuff into glucose,  the diet food industry makes a lot of money (as if Gwen and the junk food industry didn't), and Gwen is very confused about nutrition recommendations and how they change when the science advances. 

Her starved brain can't cope with the fact that some info posters illustrate diets as a good pyramid and some have chosen plate imagery. It is so hard to grasp!

 

[AmazonGrace]

Good pyramid=food pyramid

[Giraffe]

She’s the epitome of incompetence and yet people still follow her. Absolutely incredible. 

[Xan]

Latest "Life with Gwen and Joe".   This one is about "seeking God on vacations".  (Really?  How dumb is this?  Do people really need a video on how to track down God if you are on vacation?)  This one is mostly about the children that they and the members brought to Florida.  The general message is:  teach your kids to instantly obey, talk about God all the time, and make sure they only socialize with people just like you.

Some snippets --

Joe:  "I always end up being so proud of the kids because they are so upright...".  (What it is with this "upright" business?)

Gwen:  She's talking about praying with the kids before they went out and played in the water so that no one would get hurt and - surprise! -  no one got hurt!  Gwen gives full credit for this to the pre-water play prayers.  "And I prayed that they would be more in love with God when they got back than when they left and so -- guess what? -- they're all smiling.  It's beautiful."  

Gwen gathers the kids around and has a devotional which she calls a "devo".  (Isn't that just precious??  There's a little girl that looks to be about 5 years old and she has a pacifier in her mouth.  Poor thing.  I think if I was stuck on vacation with Gwenny, I'd probably need a pacifier too.)

She asks the kids, 'How do you know if you're pleasing God?"  The answer she gives is that you see a smile on your parents' faces or on the church leaders' faces.  How convenient.  Instant obedience equals "God loves you".  Shame on you, Gwen.  Shame.

Gwen tells the kids to "look behind" which she seems to think is a new way to say clean up after yourself and put things away.  Apparently, she thinks Joe is really good at this.

Gwen's hair is even more spectacular than usual.  And there's a funny bit where we see Gwen trying to ride a bike in her Minnie Mouse shoes.  Gwen also wears even larger diamond rings on vacation.  Joe's face, as usual, always makes me laugh.

Stills from the video:

Spoiler

Here's a link to the video:

Spoiler

 

 

Edited June 6, 2020 by Xan

[Victorianroses]

23 hours ago, Xan said:

Latest "Life with Gwen and Joe".   This one is about "seeking God on vacations".  (Really?  How dumb is this?  Do people really need a video on how to track down God if you are on vacation?)  This one is mostly about the children that they and the members brought to Florida.  The general message is:  teach your kids to instantly obey, talk about God all the time, and make sure they only socialize with people just like you.

Some snippets --

Joe:  "I always end up being so proud of the kids because they are so upright...".  (What it is with this "upright" business?)

Gwen:  She's talking about praying with the kids before they went out and played in the water so that no one would get hurt and - surprise! -  no one got hurt!  Gwen gives full credit for this to the pre-water play prayers.  "And I prayed that they would be more in love with God when they got back than when they left and so -- guess what? -- they're all smiling.  It's beautiful."  

Gwen gathers the kids around and has a devotional which she calls a "devo".  (Isn't that just precious??  There's a little girl that looks to be about 5 years old and she has a pacifier in her mouth.  Poor thing.  I think if I was stuck on vacation with Gwenny, I'd probably need a pacifier too.)

She asks the kids, 'How do you know if you're pleasing God?"  The answer she gives is that you see a smile on your parents' faces or on the church leaders' faces.  How convenient.  Instant obedience equals "God loves you".  Shame on you, Gwen.  Shame.

Gwen tells the kids to "look behind" which she seems to think is a new way to say clean up after yourself and put things away.  Apparently, she thinks Joe is really good at this.

Gwen's hair is even more spectacular than usual.  And there's a funny bit where we see Gwen trying to ride a bike in her Minnie Mouse shoes.  Gwen also wears even larger diamond rings on vacation.  Joe's face, as usual, always makes me laugh.

Stills from the video:

  Reveal hidden contents

Here's a link to the video:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Just when ya think their videos can't get 'stupider' they do.....Cringeworthy crap.  Those poor kids.  I'll just bet they couldn't want till she shut up so they could go back to playing.  She REALLY needs to learn her Bible!  The Bible clearly states that our good works are as filthy rags to God, His love is based upon HIS righteousness and Grace.  I keep saying I'm not going to watch Dumb and Dumber (you decide who is who) any longer, but their fascinating to me in a creepy way. 

[AmazonGrace]

On 6/6/2020 at 6:46 AM, Giraffe said:

I got about 5 correct and then devolved into “paper thick chick lipper.”

I turned it into paper chin thick licker.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32153-gwen-shamblin-6-billy-madison-is-smarter-than-gwen-shamblin/?do=findComment&comment=1762853

We have dutifully snarked on today's devotional last year. We learn that God made peanut butter sandwiches and that Gwen's starved brain does not understand statistics or human biology. 

Quote

The fear of missing a nutrient is counterproductive and has led to many damaging excesses so that the average American is not living longer than the previous generation. For the first time in many years, the children are expected to live a shorter time than their parents. Keep in mind, modern nutrition is a relatively young science, and people have been living long lives without this modern obsession.

Granted, there is a tiny dip in the 2010s, but supposing normal human generational time still applies in Gwenland, the parents of  babies born in 2015 would have been born in about year 2000 or earlier, and none of them would have a better life expectancy than their babies.

Numbers are so confusing!

Here is another table from https://www.macrotrends.net/countries/USA/united-states/life-expectancy 

that says the same thing. If you assume at least 15 years per generation there is nothing there that indicates that parents are expected to live longer than their babies.

Spoiler

 

 

[AmazonGrace]

Type 2 diabetes according to Gwen: it is completely your own fault because you ate when your stomach was not growling.

Type 2 diabetes according to science:
 

Quote

 

Type 2 diabetes is believed to have a strong genetic link, meaning that it tends to run in families. Several genes may be related to type 2 diabetes. If you have any of the following risk factors, it’s important to ask your doctor about a diabetes test. A proper diet and healthy lifestyle habits, along with medication, if you need it, can help you manage type 2 diabetes just like you manage other areas of your life. Be sure to seek the latest information on this condition as you become your own health advocate.

Other type 2 diabetes risk factors include the following:

High blood pressure

High blood triglyceride (fat) levels

Gestational diabetes or giving birth to a baby weighing more than 9 pounds

High-fat and carbohydrate diet

High alcohol intake

Sedentary lifestyle

Obesity or being overweight

Ethnicity: Certain groups, such as African Americans, Native Americans, Hispanic Americans, and Asian Americans, have a greater risk of developing type 2 diabetes than non-Hispanic whites.

Aging: Increasing age is a significant risk factor for type 2 diabetes. The risk of developing type 2 diabetes begins to rise significantly at about age 45, and rises considerably after age 65.

https://www.webmd.com/diabetes/diabetes-causes

 

Gwen's sedentary lifestyle and junk food diet are also known risk factors. And aging or ethnicity are hardly something that you brought on yourself. 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32153-gwen-shamblin-6-billy-madison-is-smarter-than-gwen-shamblin/?do=findComment&comment=1764478

The other devotionals this week are in the same thread. God gets hardly a mention. 

 

This picture is super eating-disorder-ish.

EVERY BITE has to be perfect. 

[AmazonGrace]

Any old crap that you eat must be equally healthy because it's all just molecules at the end of the day, and you can't get poisoned because you've got a liver.  Oh, wait... 

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32153-gwen-shamblin-6-billy-madison-is-smarter-than-gwen-shamblin/?do=findComment&comment=1764969

Gwen thinks she gets closer to God by not eating. Pretty sure she never denied herself anything else she wanted.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shavuot
 

 

Quote

 

Nowadays in the post-Temple era, Shavuot is the only biblically ordained holiday that has no specific laws attached to it other than usual festival requirements of abstaining from creative work. The rabbinic observances for the holiday include reciting additional prayers, making kiddush, partaking of meals and being in a state of joy. There are however many customs which are observed on Shavuot.[18] A mnemonic for the customs largely observed in Ashkenazi communities spells the Hebrew word aḥarit (אחרית, "last"):

אקדמות – Aqdamut, the reading of a piyyut (liturgical poem) during Shavuot morning synagogue services

חלב – ḥalav (milk), the consumption of dairy products like milk and cheese

רות – Rut, the reading of the Book of Ruth at morning services (outside Israel: on the second day)

ירק – Yereq (greening), the decoration of homes and synagogues with greenery

תורה – Torah, engaging in all-night Torah study.

 

 

[AmazonGrace]

Is Gwen confused or is she using a different calendar than the rest of us? A ca-gwen-dar so to speak.

10th June she posted this

Quote

"We are approaching our observance of Pentecost, the day that God descended with binding words at Mt. Sinai--words at first written on stone and later written on the heart of man. “If you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession.” Exodus 19:5"

So I thought she meant the Jewish holiday that sometimes gets referred to as Pentecost. 

But now she posted something that sounds like she is thinking about the Christian version of Pentecost. 

Quote

On the day of Pentecost, thousands were baptized and tonight there will be 50 Saints repenting and being baptized to receive the Holy Spirit. This is the most amazing concept of being born again in Christ and for God Almighty!

But... but... it was already too late for both of them. That was the 12th  of June and Shavuot was supposed to be   May 28-30, and the Christian Pentecost was  May 31 (Western) or at the latest, June 7 (Eastern)

Is Remnant celebrating religious holidays just like, whenever?  Was there some Covid restriction that just got lifted in her county?`

And who gets baptized into this stupid religion?

[AmazonGrace]

I don't remember seeing this devo before but it's not new, it's from a 2017 book. She compares God's love to faithfulness in marriage. (and of course she got divorced soon thereafter).

Spoiler

 

 

Quote

 

A Covenant Offer of Love

June 13, 2020

by Gwen Shamblin Lara

0 Comment

Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandments there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. Romans 13:8-10

We need to praise God for His perfect templates for how to live and love…namely prototypes of father to son, mother to children, children to parents, husband to wife, etc. In marriages, for example, God has the groom and bride exchange vows. This template is parallel to the vows offered on Mount Sinai to the children of Israel. Another word for these vows is…“sacred covenant,” a binding agreement or contract between two parties. It takes two parties to establish a contract—one offers their heart and words, one responds with heart and words, and both respond with actions. In other words, a covenant between the couple is not just words on a sheet of paper but the actions to back it up, otherwise this offer could be cancelled or annulled. For example, if just one of the parties involved becomes unfaithful, the covenant is broken and thus the visual picture of Moses breaking the vows (the stone tablets) when God’s loved ones turned to idols and away from Him.

What are we going to do with this offer? What happens when we reject the ring and the offer to be married? What happens when we spurn God’s Love?

You are at a crossroads if you are not “All In” nor ready to give your full time, attention, passion, strength, love and heart to the Creator. It is an abomination that man is more ready to commit to a mortal than to the Immortal…the powerful, all-knowing God of the Universe! Why will someone exchange vows to a human and be faithful but not commit the same vows for a lifetime to God—the only Being to whom you owe everything?

Why does it seem like a lot for God to ask? Have we not all heard the expression…“I am trying to stop overeating, I am struggling to stop drinking too much, endeavoring to stop talk-ing too much, trying not to be prideful. I am attempting to be faithful to God, but it is so hard.” Is it really too much to remain faithful to God but not to your wife? The world witnesses humans—all the time—who choose to stay married for a lifetime. However, “you are only human” is “the out” for the faithless generations. Each human can stay “married” in a covenant with God for a lifetime…period. End of sentence. End of discussion.

Besides the fact that there is a dark force that is ever stalking the Seekers who are on the narrow path, why is there so much “try” and not so much “just do it”? The answer is…a lack of continuous love. You can easily surrender and give and do for The Lord if you genuinely love Him first and foremost and above and beyond all others. The correct response to such an offer of life and eternal life is, “Yes, God, I will love You with all my heart” as Moses and Jesus commanded.

Again…if you can submit to an earthly relationship for companionship, you can submit to God for a heavenly relationship that gives more dividends in return. God has been left out. How do you like sitting alone with no one who cares? God deserves more…no, God deserves our all.

It is time to make the right response and commit consistently without wavering. Again, let no debt remain except consistent love to God and man. Without the bride accepting the groom’s proposal, there would be no relationship, no union. What fiancé vacillates between lovers daily and expects to remain engaged? Have you given a full, decisive response to this grace that The Lord God Almighty, the Creator of your soul, has offered you?

 

 

 

[AmazonGrace]

Today's Delusional title is "How to have a balanced meal", and the answer is, eat  junk food. Wanting to eat healthy makes you a slave to sin.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32153-gwen-shamblin-6-billy-madison-is-smarter-than-gwen-shamblin/?do=findComment&comment=1766289

 

Edited June 14, 2020 by AmazonGrace

[WorseThan1Thinks]

Sadly, it looks like yet another marriage has been divided by this cult.  While Gwen Shamblin/Gwen Lara gets rightly criticized and gets rightly made fun of, an all-too-common part that often goes unheard is all the marriages that are torn apart because of this place. 

This is currently hanging up by the road of this guy's cattle ranch between Brentwood and Spring Hill, TN.

 

Underneath this horrible cult are the tragic stories of so many ruined families.

[Marmion]

6 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Today's Delusional title is "How to have a balanced meal", and the answer is, eat  junk food. Wanting to eat healthy makes you a slave to sin.

https://www.freejinger.org/topic/32153-gwen-shamblin-6-billy-madison-is-smarter-than-gwen-shamblin/?do=findComment&comment=1766289

 

But processed food has been corrupted from the natural nutritious state that God created food to have .  { https://www.healthline.com/health-news/youll-eat-more-if-your-diet-consists-of-processed-foods#What-you-can-do  , https://www.cleaneatingwithkids.com/processed-food-bad/  ,  https://m.yenisafak.com/en/economy/the-worlds-corrupt-food-industry-3104289 }   Here's a contrasting fundamentalist message on the topic of dietary practice .  

http://www.hem-of-his-garment-bible-study.org/bible-foods.html   See , it's really not hard for me to outdo Gwen Shamblin Lara , in this regard .