Political Memes, Comics, and other Shenanigans, Part 15

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"Can't Find Kansas City"

 

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I don’t know who has it harder, Trump supporters attempting to Trumpsplain his latest act of stupidity, the government agency tasked to argue that Missouri is Kansas, or future historians when they try to explain just how stupid our president (sic) truly was.

This morning, I went to a few conservative friends’ Facebook pages to see what the daily outrage was. It’s pole dancing and thrusting hips at the Super Bowl halftime show and Trump haters mocking him for congratulating the state of Kansas for the Kansas City Chiefs winning the Super Bowl. I’m surprised he didn’t congratulate the Chefs.

There is a Kansas City in Kansas, but that’s not the city the Chiefs represent. That city is in Missouri. After Trump’s tweet, it was deleted then reposted with “Missouri” replacing “Kansas.”

Last week, CNN caught heat after Rick Wilson, a Republican strategist, made fun of Trump and said he couldn’t find Ukraine on a map if you put a big U on it and a picture of a crane. The heat was for their disrespect and laughing at Trump supporters. But last night, Donald Trump proved Wilson correct. The man doesn’t know geography which can be added to the huge list of shit Trump doesn’t understand.

After becoming president, he learned Puerto Rico is an island and that islands are surrounded by water. He referred to the Governor of Puerto Rico as the President of Puerto Rico (Trump is the president (sic) of Puerto Rico). He told the Prime Minister of India, “it’s not as though you have China right on your border.” He claimed the border wall with Mexico was in Colorado. He thought Belgium was a city. He thought Paris was in Germany. He was shocked to discover Nepal and Bhutan were their own countries and not a part of India, pronounced them “nipple” and “button.” At least he didn’t call Bhutan “buttcrack.” He can’t pronounce “Tasmania.” He thinks there’s a country in Africa called “Nambia.” He thinks the Persian Gulf is called the “Arabian” Gulf. He blamed Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania, nations that border the Baltic Sea, for being responsible for the war in the BALKANS (and his wife is from the Balkans). And don’t get me started on his confusion with England, the United Kingdom, and Great Britain.  He also thinks Ireland is a part of the United Kingdom.

You can be forgiven if you don’t understand everything in the above paragraph, but you’re not the president of the United States. And quite frankly, you should understand all the geography in the above paragraph.

Trump’s supporters’ response to his latest flub is to point out that Obama once said “57 states” when he meant 47. Republicans are too stupid to realize that even if Obama truly believed there are 57 states, it doesn’t defend Trump’s stupidity. If you and I both get zeros on a test, your stupidity does not make me smarter. Also, Trump sycophants have to go all the way back to 2008 to find something stupid Obama said. I only have to go to last night for something stupid from Trump, and today’s not over yet.

Here’s the painful truth: The president of the United States (sic), as former Secretary of State so eloquently put it, is a fucking moron. And while some people want to steer clear of making fun of Trump’s supporters, sycophants, and members of his cult. I won’t. You’re all fucking morons.

 

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[ALM7]

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"Another Windmill Victim"

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I’m not a religious person or very spiritual at all. I’m definitely not a “new age” person. But I like to believe in karma. Even if it doesn’t really exist, it’s a good way to live your life. Basically, what you do to others will be returned to you, whether what you’ve done is good or bad. Basically, pay it forward and do unto others, blah blah blah.

Karma is probably not to blame for Rush Limbaugh’s advanced lung cancer. Rush has a long career of doing asshole shit unto others. The twice-divorced-family-values proponent, draft-dodging warmonger has spread hatred, racism, sexism, and misinformation for decades. And, it’s made him worth around $500 million. But, hatred, racism, and saying stupid shit doesn’t have any support from the science community for causing cancer. Smoking cigars for decades does.

People who have self-destructive habits tend to downplay the negative effects, even to the point of lying. Eddie Van Halen believes the cause for his tongue cancer is from his habit of holding copper guitar picks in his mouth while he was doing his double-tap method on the fretboard. I guess that’s possible but I think a larger culprit is Pall Malls or whatever brand he smoked since before he was even a teenager. My father, a lifelong alcoholic who drank a case of beer a day which would usually start around 6:00 a.m. was very defensive of his habits and swore he could quit at any time. He never did.

Rush once said to a caller on his show, “There’s no even major sickness component associated with secondhand smoke. It may irritate you, and you may not like it, but it will not make you sick, and it will not kill you.” He also claimed, “Firsthand smoke takes 50 years to kill people, if it does.Not everybody that smokes gets cancer. Now, it’s true that everybody who smokes dies, but so does everyone who eats carrots.”

Rush’s defense of smoking is almost as ridiculous as Donald Trump’s claim that the noise from windmills cause cancer.

Limbaugh was a huge defender of smokers and complained about the nation’s changing attitudes toward smoking. Even our major tobacco states, North Carolina, Kentucky, and Virginia, have banned indoor smoking in restaurants. Rush wailed, “I’m telling you, there ought to be some measure of appreciation for people who buy tobacco products, despite the forces arrayed against them, It’s getting harder and harder to use tobacco products, unless you want to call marijuana tobacco, and you can do that anywhere, for the most part. But the fact of the matter is they have to endure a lot, the public hates them, they’re despised, they can’t smoke in places of comfort anymore, can’t even smoke outside in a park! And yet their actions and their taxes and their purchases are funding children’s health care programs. I’m just saying there ought to be a little appreciation shown for them, instead of having them hated and reviled.” Then he said, “I would like a medal for smoking cigars.”

Rush should have eaten more carrots.

Here’s the thing I get tired of hearing from smokers and granted, I don’t hear it a lot because it’s stupid: You are not a victim of smoker persecution. You choose to smoke and spread your filth onto others. You don’t have a constitutional right to smoke anywhere you please. We all have the right not to inhale someone else’s destructive, nasty habit. And I say this being a former smoker (we’re the worst when it comes to hating smoke).

Since I believe in karma, I don’t want to go too heavy on Rush. I’m not rejoicing in his illness and I wish him a full recovery. Cancer isn’t something any of us should wish on anyone, even a troglodyte like Rush Limbaugh. Hey, when they go low, we go high, right? But, my hope from this is that Rush gets a better perspective. Somehow, I doubt he does.

This is a guy who was a strong proponent of the war on drugs and as you see above, complained about marijuana. Yet, he himself was a drug addict. He was against taxpayer-funded support for drug addicts, yet being rich, he was able to get help. When he had a health scare while on vacation, he claimed his access to high-quality medical attention was proof we didn’t need a national healthcare plan. Rush never understood it was more about access. Maybe now, he’ll think about preexisting conditions. Rush should ponder what would happen with his healthcare if he wasn’t rich and there wasn’t Obamacare. He’d probably use Obamacare while continuing to attack it. That’s what they do.

Rush once said he’d move to Costa Rica if Obamacare was implemented. Fortunately for Costa Ricans, he never made the move. And if he had, he may have been horrified to discover they have a national health plan…

…until he got advanced lung cancer.

 

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[TuringMachine]

This is from a couple years ago but it feels very relevant now

https://xkcd.com/2030/

 

Edited February 5, 2020 by TuringMachine

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Maybe the Duggars can make Tater Tot Casserole with this:

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