Josiah and Lauren 16: Just Another Young Fundie Couple

[Mama Mia]

So, let me get this straight, people are saying Lauren is distant/haughty/pouting/sad/stuck-up/drama filled/ because she is

1- Wearing a hat and is somewhat dressier on Christmas than most -not all- of the women around her 

and

2- Has her newborn baby off to the side in a very crowded and happily chaotic room filled with tons of happily loud people, including - unvaccinated kids, one of whom wound up hospitalized from a respiratory infection few days later 

alrighty then 

[tabitha2]

Some people are just butt hurt and mean because they wanted/fantasized Josiah was some free spirited artistic sensitive secretly gay soul just wanting to escape his family. Lauren is an end to all that and therefore must be castigated and hated for apparently whatever she does or does not do or say really. 
 

 

[AprilQuilt]

7 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Maybe Lauren thrifted that modern look, maybe she didn’t. But when daddy continually beat it into your head to thrift, you might have some thoughts about people who go out of their way to be the best/trendiest dressed at a family gathering. 

Dude, did you SEE their present haul? I refuse to believe that Lauren's hat was the only non-thrifted thing in the room. all those toys in brand new packaging! It was a sea of consumerism. They all love new toys and fast fashion, it is not a Lauren thing.

It seems crazy to me that people still think they buy used and save the difference (or even advocate it that hard) when Jessa's constantly mentioning outfits she bought for IJ on Amazon, Jill and others are shilling new clothes, plus all the kidults seem to have the same. darn. rug. When you've got multiples, those are not bought used! Not one of them has had any compunction about releasing baby shower and wedding lists crammed with brand new stuff - when I moved out on my own I sourced the things I needed off Freecycle, Gumtree, charity shops, boot sales, things left on the street... it takes a little time and nous but it's not hard to do, and when it came to getting prepared for my baby, people were practically throwing second-hand stuff at me. I couldn't move for it. With the thrifting know-how and contacts in that family, they should be able to do the same,  but they are not that interested! 

The world we live in now is pretty different to the one the Duggars started bringing their kids up in. It's way easier to buy super-cheap clothes new, and Amazon and Ebay make it possible to sniff out bargains quickly rather than scour bricks-and-mortar thrift stores and outlets in hope of the right thing. I'm sure the Duggars all still do a bit of that too, but it's not like it used to be at all. And the cheap flimsy stuff being manufactured to meet that new demand for convenience won't hold up to years of use anyway - it's not the same quality and might not survive to be a hand-me-down anyway.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I can relate to being the 'fancy' one in my family. I just got back from spending Christmas with them. My father is a retired engineer, and if it weren't for my mom making sure he has clean basics in good repair, he'd probably be wearing worn out pants and tech conference T-shirts from the 90's. My mom is a jeans and sweaters type of a woman, very frugal and practical. She will try to find colours that suit her skin tone and make sure that her clothes fit properly, but that's about as fussy as she gets. The older of my two brothers sometimes plays with funky colours in his outfits (more jeans and t-shirts), and the younger one is on the shy side and generally wears darker colours.

Then there's me. I love fashion. I'm a trained designer (specializing in lingerie) who also does stage performance. I don't really 'dress up' for family functions, but I have several eclectic pieces in my casual wardrobe that look 'dressed up' next to the more basic styles my family wears. My mom has reminded me that they all dress casual, and winter is cold where they live, but I pack fun, funky (warm) clothes because they make me feel good. I'll also do my makeup if I know pictures will be taken- not full countouring and fake eyelashes, but a pretty eye makeup application and some colour on my lips (the most my mom does is maybe a tinted lip gloss). Being stylish and glamorous in my unique way is a form of self expression and self care for me. Getting prettied up can be an easy way to elevate my mood if I'm feeling down.

I haven't watched enough of the show to see Lauren in action, and can't really comment on whether she's high maintenance (her and Josiah seem odd together, but that's another matter). Her family look a little fancier than the Duggars, and she seems to enjoy looking polished. Perhaps she'll get more casual/utilitarian once she's got a bunch of kids, perhaps not. If dressing nicely makes her feel good, and she can make it work with her lifestyle/budget, then why not?

Edited December 31, 2019 by VeryNikeSeamstress

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

4 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

So, let me get this straight, people are saying Lauren is distant/haughty/pouting/sad/stuck-up/drama filled/ because she is

1- Wearing a hat and is somewhat dressier on Christmas than most -not all- of the women around her 

and

2- Has her newborn baby off to the side in a very crowded and happily chaotic room filled with tons of happily loud people, including - unvaccinated kids, one of whom wound up hospitalized from a respiratory infection few days later 

alrighty then 

Not because of her dress and that one photo. I personally, am basing this on her actions on the show, the stupid has nothing to do with it.

[treehugger]

I don’t think Lauren and I would be friends irl, but I have sympathy for her when it comes to her husband’s crazy family.  My own husband comes from an extremely religious family of 12, with their own hidden stories of abuse.  Family gatherings are loud and noisy with a hefty dose of verbal and emotional abuse every time.  We avoid them at all costs, and when we do go, I tend to be a bit stand-offish and we leave early.  Nothing wrong with personal boundaries in an unhealthy family dynamic.   

[Not that josh's mom]

5 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

So, let me get this straight, people are saying Lauren is distant/haughty/pouting/sad/stuck-up/drama filled/ because she is

1- Wearing a hat and is somewhat dressier on Christmas than most -not all- of the women around her 

and

2- Has her newborn baby off to the side in a very crowded and happily chaotic room filled with tons of happily loud people, including - unvaccinated kids, one of whom wound up hospitalized from a respiratory infection few days later 

alrighty then 

I believe the hospitalized kid was Kendra's youngest brother, not anyone who was at the Duggars.

 

[Cora Persephona]

17 hours ago, Ms. Squishels said:

Because of how Lauren reacted to her miscarriage and not being able to let go and get it behind her, I have wondered if she would have postpartum depression when she had her baby.  She might be experiencing that.  I also had the same thought as @JDuggs that maybe she was trying to keep Bella away from everyone and all the germs.  When my son was a baby, I wouldn't have made it 30 minutes at that kind of a family gathering.  I would have lost my mind trying to keep all those kids from touching him!  You know with all those small children, at least one (and maybe more) had runny noses and coughs.

To be honest, 30 minutes at that gathering would have completely drained me of energy even without a baby.

[Mama Mia]

8 minutes ago, Not that josh's mom said:

I believe the hospitalized kid was Kendra's youngest brother, not anyone who was at the Duggars.

 

I stand corrected. But my point is that a huge family gathering filled with coughing, runny nosed, sugared up, screaming children is super fun for lots of people. But if you’re tired, with a newborn, who is too young for vaccinations, you might want to keep to your spot a little away. Even forgetting vaccinations- maybe you don’t want to try to nurse your baby when they are snuffling from a cold. It’s hard and gross. Or maybe you- or the baby- just get overwhelmed at that level of intensity. 
 Not everyone is a people pleasing, casual, extrovert. We always go on about how they are conditioned to act like brainless stepford wives - and how bad that is - but when any of them show the slightest bit of drawing their own boundaries to be comfortable with themselves - they are haughty, or vain, or a “princess” 

[JMO]

On a different topic, I recently posted on the Zachney thread about her over effusive bday post for Zach. I've noticed for a while that I don't remember seeing such a post from Lauren. She does post less in general but aside from a birthday post for him she never does these posts. 

[Daisy0322]

So I looked at the pictures again ... I really don’t think anyone is dressed that badly. I mean no one looks like they just rolled around in the laundry bin. Lauren may look more polished but honestly, I can’t stand that hat. I thought it looked bad on Josie too though. I’m my opinion they all look just fine.

[nausicaa]

1 hour ago, Daisy0322 said:

So I looked at the pictures again ... I really don’t think anyone is dressed that badly. I mean no one looks like they just rolled around in the laundry bin.

I don't think anyone there looks bad or unkempt, but just to give another view: in my family a denim skirt on Christmas would be way out of place and too casual (at least on Christmas Eve dinner and for church).

If that's how the Duggars like to dress for Christmas, that's totally fine, but I also think it's fine for Lauren to wear what she wants. I don't even think Lauren's outfit is that dressy, and is pretty standard office work wear without the hat? I'm really surprised now finally seeing the photos. I thought she showed up in a velvet cocktail dress* with beading (and I was still prepared to defend her for that!)

(*Some of us may have worn a velvet cocktail dress for Christmas. Ahem...?)

[Mama Mia]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

I don't think anyone there looks bad or unkempt, but just to give another view: in my family a denim skirt on Christmas would be way out of place and too casual (at least on Christmas Eve dinner and for church).

If that's how the Duggars like to dress for Christmas, that's totally fine, but I also think it's fine for Lauren to wear what she wants. I don't even think Lauren's outfit is that dressy, and is pretty standard office work wear without the hat? I'm really surprised now finally seeing the photos. I thought she showed up in a velvet cocktail dress* with beading (and I was still prepared to defend her for that!)

(*Some of us may have worn a velvet cocktail dress for Christmas. Ahem...?)

I’m always the one who “dresses up” for any possible occasion. ? 

Our family does our big celebration Christmas Eve, and this year the range was sweats to jeans and t-shirts to nice dresses (me!) , the part that was disappointing was all the kids are getting older- we have a bunch of girls in the lost girls age range— and only the littlest wore a fancy Christmas Dress . And the next littlest wore some sparkles. The rest wore just regular clothes. I Know it’s a normal part of growing up, but I hate when they stop wanting the fancy froofy Christmas Dresses as tweens. 

Edited December 31, 2019 by Mama Mia

[JDuggs]

Who Wore It Better: Fundie SIL Christmas 2019 Hat Edition.

[front hugs > duggs]

Option C :

Edited December 31, 2019 by front hugs > duggs

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

Smokey wins! That bear is smokin,'

That being said, I think the hat looks better with Lauren's leather jacket than with Jinger's cardigan.

Edited January 1, 2020 by VeryNikeSeamstress

[Vivi_music]

19 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

So, let me get this straight, people are saying Lauren is distant/haughty/pouting/sad/stuck-up/drama filled/ has postpartum depression

because she is

1- Wearing a hat and is somewhat dressier on Christmas than most -not all- of the women around her 

and

2- Has her newborn baby off to the side in a very crowded and happily chaotic room filled with tons of happily loud people, including - unvaccinated kids, one of whom wound up hospitalized from a respiratory infection few days later 

alrighty then 

Here I added that one for you as well.

[Audrey2]

I must have recently received a blow to the head because I'm about ready to say one or two positive things about Lauren. Although I am really not a fan of hers, I think that Christmas at the Duggar house would be absolutely overwhelming for me and I would probably be the one sitting in a corner looking completely miserable with all the people and activity that's going on around me. I know she comes from a larger-than-average family, but if I remember correctly it's about half of what the Duggar family is and that doesn't even include in-laws and nieces and nephews.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

My husband (if I could get him to go to a gathering like that) would probably be on his phone in a corner or maybe talking to one person, also in a corner.  It's perfectly likely she's just more of an introvert and sitting on the sidelines with Bella is a good excuse to have breathing room.

I agree these two don't seem well-suited, but I also don't think Lauren has as much experience presenting a social media or camera-ready persona as the other girls.  Kendra comes across as a ray of sunshine and it probably comes more easily to her as a result.  I've got some sympathy for Lauren because she married so young, straight from daddy's house to this craziness, without a chance to decide if she really wanted the lifestyle.  As has been said before by more eloquent posters, the cult encourages this behavior because it prevents free thinking and traps another generation.  Now she has Bella and won't be going anywhere for quite some time, if ever.  I hope her desire to put her kid(s) front and center encourages her and Josiah to distance themselves, at least a bit, from the main Duggar family.

Don't get me wrong, though.  My sympathy is not wrapped up in any liking for these people.

[seraaa]

10 hours ago, Audrey2 said:

I must have recently received a blow to the head because I'm about ready to say one or two positive things about Lauren. Although I am really not a fan of hers, I think that Christmas at the Duggar house would be absolutely overwhelming for me and I would probably be the one sitting in a corner looking completely miserable with all the people and activity that's going on around me. I know she comes from a larger-than-average family, but if I remember correctly it's about half of what the Duggar family is and that doesn't even include in-laws and nieces and nephews.

Yeah, this is what I keep thinking about also. Some people don't like crowds, or are just naturally quieter, or need to just take 5 minutes occasionally. 

[viii]

Both hats are fugly. 

[Tatar-tot]

On 12/31/2019 at 6:11 AM, Mama Mia said:

So, let me get this straight, people are saying Lauren is distant/haughty/pouting/sad/stuck-up/drama filled/ because she is

1- Wearing a hat and is somewhat dressier on Christmas than most -not all- of the women around her 

and

2- Has her newborn baby off to the side in a very crowded and happily chaotic room filled with tons of happily loud people, including - unvaccinated kids, one of whom wound up hospitalized from a respiratory infection few days later 

alrighty then 

We need a new Emoji that is defined as “YUP”!!!??‍♀️

[AprilQuilt]

Also it looks like Jana took a lot of pictures in one short window of time when Lauren happened to be sitting aside with Bella for whatever reason. 

There are a similar number of pictures in the set of Jenny with Ivy Jane, and nobody's saying they were hanging out together ALL DAY; nobody's bitching that JB  was obviously unwrapping presents with Gideon to the exclusion of everything else, or that that howler (I don't know who it is, sorry howler) was hogging baby Addison. Because it's impossible to say from a few photos whether they were. But people are happy to jump to conclusions about Lauren based on the same amount of evidence.

There's a photo of JB with Bella and Lauren isn't in sight, so clearly she wasn't isolating the two of them all day. I haven't a clue whether she is a pouty aloof bitch who hates her in-laws and refuses to join in, and I don't have a horse in this race either way - I just can't surmise much about Lauren's personality, demeanour or behaviour from those pictures. I don't understand this aggressive bad feeling towards her, I don't find her any worse really than anyone else on the show.

Edited January 1, 2020 by AprilQuilt
*ach, I got Ivy Jane's name wrong. I can't keep up with these rugrats.

[closetcagebaby]

I’ve worn basically her exact outfit and definitely own pretty much that exact hat, just like a lot of women my age. 
 

good to know it says so much about me! ?

[raspberrymint]

On 12/31/2019 at 5:11 AM, Mama Mia said:

So, let me get this straight, people are saying Lauren is distant/haughty/pouting/sad/stuck-up/drama filled/ because she is

1- Wearing a hat and is somewhat dressier on Christmas than most -not all- of the women around her 

and

2- Has her newborn baby off to the side in a very crowded and happily chaotic room filled with tons of happily loud people, including - unvaccinated kids, one of whom wound up hospitalized from a respiratory infection few days later 

alrighty then 

I'm just echoing this.  I'm very confused by the overanalyzing.