Josiah and Lauren 16: Just Another Young Fundie Couple

[Pancakes@Tiffany's]

 

2 hours ago, Not that josh's mom said:

Sorry. I've offended severeal people. It's simply my weird sarcastic way. Think I'll just quit commenting.

I ran away from commenting in Duggar threads my first month on FJ and have vowed to just not. I've stuck to it and I'm only doing so right now because I can relate to your comment. My sarcasm didn't read well either, and having a differing opinion never worked out for me. No matter how benign I would try to word it someone always took it out of context and jumped down my throat. Now I only comment in the JRod threads. It's a different atmosphere over there. Your sense of humour would be much better received there I think.

 

2 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Come and visit the Bro Gary Hawkins threads.  It’s a whole different vibe and very funny.  I don’t comment too much in the Duggar threads either...for so many reasons.

I need to jump back into Bro Gary. I've been missing out on that crazy train. Although I would never comment there. Not out of fear, but because everyone else is so darn funny I'm much happier being in the audience so to speak. (I can relate to that "... so many reasons" comment, which is why I lurk.)

[just_ordinary]

So- this woman seems to have realised she maybe made a HUGE mistake. Sadly she is stuck because of her beliefs. Even more: her mindset puts tons of pressure on her to make it work and find happiness. Thankfully martyr mindset is encouraged their brainwashing is really spot on.
She doesn‘t seem to be particularly fond of her in-laws. Which are the Duggars. 
Sorry but with people pissing their pants just sharing a birthday with one of them I don’t get why that is a bad thing. Even if she really loves Josiah- she doesn’t have to suck up to the train wreck that is the Duggar family.

Disliking your relatives is hardly a crime as is being a needy manipulating pain in the ass (if you think she is).

I think their marriage is a great example why their believes are damaging.

The Lauren bashing will probably blow over with the next courtship. It’s like Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle: the new show pony gets incredible praise and then extrem bashing, as soon as a new pony shows up we back at praising again. It’s a vicious cycle. Many disliked giggly Kendra with a deep passion before Lauren (and Kendra and Joe pairing, never forget if pages on pages about his fake cry at the wedding). That has blown over now. I have seen this with all in-laws since I found this forum.

 

[Giraffe]

4 hours ago, Not that josh's mom said:

Sorry. I've offended severeal people. It's simply my weird sarcastic way. I only meant that Jim Bob and TLC expect keeping sweet and smiles any time there is a camera. Think I'll just quit commenting.  

I tried pm’ing you and for some reason it wasn’t letting me. Anyway, I wanted to say when I re-read what you wrote, if I’d have known it was sarcasm I probably would’ve upvoted it. I’ve taken my “wtf!” reaction off because now I understand and my intention is not to make you feel like you have to stop commenting. 
 

This may sound like a really piddly thing, but if you were to put “/s” (to indicate you were being sarcastic) after a comment like that, I think you’d have gotten very different reactions.

Edited January 2, 2020 by Giraffe
Riffle

[grandmadugger]

I think a lot of people, me included, look at Lauren’s behavior on the show and her social media posts and assume she’s just a snob. She may very well have just been tired and trying to minimize Bella’s exposure to germs. Or she might be a raging spoiled brat who throws temper tantrums when she’s not the center of attention. Or she might be somewhere in between. 

[Peaches-n-Beans]

40 minutes ago, grandmadugger said:

I think a lot of people, me included, look at Lauren’s behavior on the show and her social media posts and assume she’s just a snob. She may very well have just been tired and trying to minimize Bella’s exposure to germs. Or she might be a raging spoiled brat who throws temper tantrums when she’s not the center of attention. Or she might be somewhere in between. 

This is my personal opinion. We cant know. Yeah she might have been tired and trying to keep her baby away from germs (especially given Kendra in all her wisdom took her not yet 2 year old to the hospital to visit her little brother). Yeah she might have been a pouting brat.  But the fact is, Lauren strikes me as a person who is going to be so dramatic over stupid things, that when something is really wrong  no one is going to believe her. So yeah, given her history my first thought was not "Oh she looks sad" or "oh maybe she's trying to protect her kid"  it was "Oh here we go again.". Now that people have brought it up and pointed it out I have reconsidered this position and admit that we really can't know, but it really would not surprise me if there was going to be a lot of these discussions in the future because of the things Lauren seems to do on the show. I do not know that this is a fair assessment of her but if this is happening on television it's safe to assume it probably happens in real life too. 

[Meggo]

I have a giant set of inlaws- and that crowd looks normal to me - except there are a LOT more kids in that family than in ours. And I'm pretty sure I spent most of boxing day with that look on my face. I was tired, coming off a cold, have a 6 year old who was fighting with his cousins and it all just... yeah - I get it. 

And I know family was mad we left "early" but - oh well. 

I'll give her this one. She doesn't seem to be into that giant crowd (can't blame her) - she's probably exhausted because the baby was up, or because she wanted the babies first Christmas to be pinterest perfect so she was crafting home made marshmallows or something bizarre. And she wants to keep the baby away from all that noise. (again - totally get that). 

that one section of video does make it seem like she's going through the motions, hold baby, pat baby, wish I was anywhere but here right now. So I hope - for her sake & the baby's - that it's just a snap shot in time and not indicative of the future state. 

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

10 hours ago, Pancakes@Tiffany's said:

It's a different atmosphere over there.

It's a different atmosphere over there because no one fan girls the Rods.  So it's much easier to assume sarcasm than in a place (Bates/Duggars) where we have to have a freaking bold warning at the gateway that it's not a fansite but still a good percentage of the posts treat it like Tiger Beat for these families...lauding and dissecting them like they are teen idols.  

It's a matter of reading the room.  

There is a reason that for years many regular posters avoid Bates/Duggar lands...its the superficiality and the fan wanking of people talking about TV stars on carefully scripted shows.  

 

[nausicaa]

19 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Also 3) the look on her face.

 

So Free Jinger basically collectively told Lauren "Smile! You'd be so much prettier if you'd smile!" 

All right, wrap it up everyone. We've officially become what we hate. ?

 

19 hours ago, Beermeet said:

FWIW:  when I moved from Long Island to SoCal, I was overdressed for everything!   In NY, we dress up. A lot.  I was used to this and always had fun choosing mt holiday/church outfit.  Because, it's how it was and time to step up your game.  FF to my 1st SoCal Christmas,  laiiid baaack!  Uggs, shorts, flops, cute Roxie shirts.....  yeah, I stood out and it upset me. 

I have a friend who now lives in the D.C. area but grew up in Seattle. I love her absolute delight at seeing people dress up. We went to the Virginia Gold Cup together last year and it was like a kid at Disney World, she just kept exclaiming "People are so fancy! Even though we're outside! They are wearing HATS!?!"

Meanwhile, she had to explain to me that one of her Seattle friends genuinely refers to her dress up clothes as her "going out Gortex." I sprained my hand clutching my pearls so hard. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

OMG I got to watch the Marriage Retreat episode. I know the poster above just said we've become what we hate, but i cannot stand Lauren. What a spoiled little person. The "new" Siah is no catch, but you could at least play happy on tv. I really didn't like her. To be fair both seem beyond miserable in their marriage. It's as though they were told to show up at a time and place and then told today they are getting married. They seem in no way ready for marriage and in no way compatible. So sad for both of them.

[closetcagebaby]

2 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

OMG I got to watch the Marriage Retreat episode. I know the poster above just said we've become what we hate, but i cannot stand Lauren. What a spoiled little person. The "new" Siah is no catch, but you could at least play happy on tv. I really didn't like her. To be fair both seem beyond miserable in their marriage. It's as though they were told to show up at a time and place and then told today they are getting married. They seem in no way ready for marriage and in no way compatible. So sad for both of them.

Genuinely, why? Why does she need to play happy on tv? She’s a young woman in a fertility cult that has fucked with her brain since birth - I would be a “brat” too. 
 

I hate feeling like I’m defending a Duggar here but damn, the type of criticism being leveled here is insane. 

[seraaa]

7 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

OMG I got to watch the Marriage Retreat episode. I know the poster above just said we've become what we hate, but i cannot stand Lauren. What a spoiled little person. The "new" Siah is no catch, but you could at least play happy on tv. I really didn't like her. To be fair both seem beyond miserable in their marriage. It's as though they were told to show up at a time and place and then told today they are getting married. They seem in no way ready for marriage and in no way compatible. So sad for both of them.

She could, but if she's genuinely struggling I get why she wouldn't. 

She could be being a brat, but it could also just be that she's a new mother and tired, or was perfectly ok and just wanted  little sit down, or otherwise hasn't quite got used to being a member of the Duggar crowd yet. Or being on camera. ?‍♀️ 

Edited January 2, 2020 by seraaa

[FunDeeLite]

Re the Lauren picture:

I imagine she's pulling that face while thinking, "Why the hell do my in-laws have this gigantic box of paper towels sitting out during a Christmas celebration?"  ???????

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

but you could at least play happy on tv.

How dare she not keep sweet.  Fuck her actual feelings or any sense of autonomy ...just play happy for everyone else.  

This is FJ now?  

[seraaa]

11 minutes ago, closetcagebaby said:

Genuinely, why? Why does she need to play happy on tv? She’s a young woman in a fertility cult that has fucked with her brain since birth - I would be a “brat” too. 
 

I hate feeling like I’m defending a Duggar here but damn, the type of criticism being leveled here is insane. 

And she's what, 19? 20? I think back to how much I would have hated all of this at her age. She is coping better than I would have, i.e. she's coping at all and seem not seem to hate all of it, lol

[IReallyAmHopewell]

59 minutes ago, seraaa said:

And she's what, 19? 20? I think back to how much I would have hated all of this at her age. She is coping better than I would have, i.e. she's coping at all and seem not seem to hate all of it, lol

Hold on. First of all, she wasn't a mother yet etc. It's a tv show. They fake all kinds of stuff. That's all I meant. Why not just fake happy? Like faking car-flipping or something? That's ALL. Not "keep sweet" ok? I believe I did also say it looked like they weren't compatible at all, right? Geesh, don't attack me. I'm on your side--I just stated it badly.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

So Free Jinger basically collectively told Lauren "Smile! You'd be so much prettier if you'd smile!" 

All right, wrap it up everyone. We've officially become what we hate. ?

I did not say that. I thought it might be helpful to have a photo of the expression that was already being discussed.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

28 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

It's a tv show. They fake all kinds of stuff. That's all I meant. Why not just fake happy?

Because this isn't a forum about television shows...and you advocating for one of the most damaging aspects of this culture (keeping sweet) to please the producers or the audience is going to be pretty offensive to people who see how harmful that is.

The Batesesess keep plenty sweet.  And most of them are extremely good looking and they sure do smile and act super happy to be doing whatever that are doing on tv...and that is dangerous af.  It's what draws people into this lifestyle where girls are stunted and boys have to shoulder the burden of being the sole provider of eleventy kids (without a tv show) and that's harmful to all of us as a society.

[nausicaa]

28 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I did not say that. I thought it might be helpful to have a photo of the expression that was already being discussed.

Oh I know. My joke wasn't directed at you. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Wow. I've never created such a storm in my life. Mea Culpa.

[JesSky03]

Man so much judgement and conclusions being drawn from a few photos. Maybe Lauren is feeling isolated. I have often felt that way since becoming a mom and I've had to have a few serious talks with my husband about it. It often feels like because I am mom and because I was the one who could lactate, that the responsibility of tending to our child when we are at family gatherings mostly fell to me. Often that means I am excluded from conversation because I am trying to feed or calm or change the kid and there were times I'm sure I didn't look happy about it. My husband is getting better but I still end up doing the majority of the work when we are out of the house. Its aggravating to feel like I have to remind my spouse that hey, we have a child and he has needs so these events are no longer all about you. You need to make sure he eats, gets a clean diaper at the appropriate time, doesn't manage to hurt himself, and that we leave at a reasonable time so our child doesn't get fussy from being up too late. I would say a good chunk of it is conditioned in us from growing up in a society where women are expected to do the majority of the child rearing. I'm guilty of it myself-I often just do what needs to be done and keep my mouth shut even if I'm unhappy about it. Just saying, all this hate is being thrown towards Lauren but maybe some side eye needs to be thrown towards Josiah. What was he doing to make Lauren feel like she is part of the family and included in the events happening around them? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, FunDeeLite said:

Re the Lauren picture:

I imagine she's pulling that face while thinking, "Why the hell do my in-laws have this gigantic box of paper towels sitting out during a Christmas celebration?"  ???????

I just figured they repurposed the box!  In days before we were all awash in Amazon boxes my mom almost never gave a gift in it's original box.  She had a collection of them in various sizes for gift giving occasions.

[Ali]

Being a new mom at the holidays is hard. The noise and change in routine can be difficult for young children to handle. My husband is an involved parent, but there were many times where he got distracted while I got stuck with a fussy baby or cranky toddler. I am sure there were moments where I was holding a baby with the same face as Lauren at family gatherings. Good to know that makes me a spoiled brat.

It is ridiculous how much BEC hate some of the Duggar women get. Every little thing they do overanalyzed and people seem desperate to criticize them. 

To those who think Lauren wearing a hat and not smiling in a picture is a big deal, it is time to step out of the Duggar and Bates forums.

Edited January 2, 2020 by Ali

[Meggo]

18 hours ago, nst said:

is no one commenting that for at least five minutes of the video Michelle is sitting on JB's lap 

That was seriously creepy. 

[Mimosa]

This is likely the first large gathering Lauren has attended as a mother. Her baby is 5 or 6 weeks old, so she's likely just getting the hang of things. She and Josiah may not be in a rhythm yet of taking care of her when out. She may have been overwhelmed, maybe she was trying to get the baby to sleep, maybe she was nervous about germs or maybe she was feeding the baby. Bella has probably never been out of her sight since she's been born, and generally at parties like this, people like to take babies and go on with them. It can be stressful for new moms, even moreso in their culture, where I would imagine Lauren doesn't have the freedom to set boundaries like "look, but you don't need to touch her right now." My cousin had a baby around the same time last year, and at Christmas she set some pretty strong boundaries, the baby remained in the carseat/dock a tot or in mom or dad's arms. Everyone else was welcome to look, but they didn't want him passed around and touched by so many people all at once. In my family, everyone understood, and visited one on one for baby snuggles. I can't imagine boundary setting like that would go over well with the Duggars. 

 

The comparison to Kendra I don't think is completely fair. Yes, she too has a newborn but it's her second child. She's done this before, she's likely more comfortable with having her baby out, feeding on the go, etc. She and Joe are probably in a better rhythm of who does what and when. 

 

 

[AtlanticTug]

Lauren is probably insufferable and self-centred based on what we know of her (via her own words/posts, etc).

But hey, if somebody wants to sit at the Duggar Christmaspalooza with a sourpuss face, bring it! I am here to cheer you on.