Josiah and Lauren 16: Just Another Young Fundie Couple

[JillyO]

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

[dawbs]

12 minutes ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

One of the hazards of reading stories is that people dont tell "good" ones because they're boring and not 'stories'

(For example, mine: I had miserable morning sickness pregnancy. We tried everything to get the labor started and finally went in to induce.  It worked, there was labor. I had all the meds; the epidural was *just *wearing off as she showed up, but the pain  never got worse than kidney stones. 

There was some tearing that got angry a week later-docs (successful)  solution was frequent baths, sitz baths, and not wearing pants as much as possible.

And then there was nursing...the nursing guru vised us in the hospital and suggested a different hold, but said use what I was if it was working (it was) and said baby was the best nursing kid on the floor.  We were concerned because of hormonal migraines, esp since I went back to FT work 6 weeks in, but pumping was doable and the nursing hormones made it almost as better as meds. Then as she nursed less, at first I donated (a LOT) then we made her (angrily) give it up at 18 months. 

 

All that is....kinda boring. Nothing notable. AND sometimes it makes people with lousy experiences hostile. Or just feels hurtful to them.

Horrifying stories are more riveting 

[Alice in Fundieland]

33 minutes ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

Congratulations! I hope you have a calm, happy pregnancy and an easy labor. 

Edited December 15, 2019 by Alice in Fundieland

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

I had 2 sunny-side babies and both pregnancies, deliveries and post-partums were healthy and easy (long deliveries, but with no problems).

Don't worry, many pregnancies are uneventful or with minor issues! Good luck and congratulations!

Edited December 15, 2019 by Melissa1977
Spelling

[Baxter]

1 hour ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

It's natural to worry a bit. But chances are you will have a pretty normal non traumatic labour. I had back labour with my son. But the doctor was able to turn him. My epidural worked on one side right away but it took an extra dose and turning me on my side to get it to work on the other. Epidural was wonderful! 

Daughter thankfully wasn't back labour. Once again epidural didn't work on one side, they ended up redoing it. Then they realised that I was fully dilated and ready to push. Daughter was born 45 minutes later. 

I had some tearing with both. Worse with my son. I had an episiotomy with him. But it's now been six months since my daughter was born and I feel pretty good now. 

I would say the biggest thing is to to trust yourself and if something doesn't seem right then make sure that you or someone with you speaks up and doesn't let the hospital staff brush you off. 

[Idlewild]

2 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

Congratulations! Don’t worry, in my experience birth stories tend to be like TripAdvisor reviews- people only go on when something is exceptionally bad! I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy and delivery.

[Kailash]

Congratulations @JillyO!! I didn’t have an easy pregnancy and labor wasn’t fun but giving birth was still slightly magical. Best wishes for a smooth pregnancy and delivery. The sweet baby at the end makes up for a lot!! 

[just_ordinary]

3 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

Congratulations!!!!! Wishing you all the best!

If I remember right you are in Germany? If so- go and call midwives straight away. The shortage is unbelievable in most places.

[lumpentheologie]

4 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

Congratulations!  You'll be a great parent.  Wishing you a calm and healthy pregnancy and birth!

[justoneoftwo]

People just don't talk about easy deliveries because those with heart deliveries get upset. But my first took six hours from first contraction to birth and the largest complication was that they kept thinking they'd need to do interventions and then not. It's not always bad and Recovery is not as bad as they say either

[viii]

I’ve never seen anyone labor and birth better than my best friend. First child was average (around 12 hours), second child gave birth at 3 am and was home before 9 am. Third child she checked into the hospital on Friday at 8 pm, gave birth before 10 pm, went home Saturday and was cooking a roast dinner the next day. What a champ. 

Edited December 15, 2019 by viii

[BadMurphy]

7 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

Don’t let other people’s experiences bother you. I read L&D doc and nurse blogs for years before I had my baby earlier this year and it had really poisoned my mind against inductions. I ended up needing one and it went so smoothly and my recovery was quick...I swear my doctor rolled her eyes when I told her how surprised I was at how well it went it.

Congratulations!

[LittleOwl]

As someone who has grown up in the shadow of their dead sibling....  My sister was born in '88 and passed after a few days.  I grew up in her shadow, with years of being told I'm not like her etc.

 

Tonight was the first time Mother turned to me to say I am not a replacement.  

 

Bella, I hope you don't have to wait 29 years to hear those words. 

[AliceInFundyland]

@JillyO It's Happening! Already! Yay! Congrats to you and Mr O.

(Insert many cute baby Pokemons here )

 

 

 

[justmy2cents]

2 hours ago, viii said:

I’ve never seen anyone labor and birth better than my best friend. First child was average (around 12 hours), second child gave birth at 3 am and was home before 9 am. Third child she checked into the hospital on Friday at 8 pm, gave birth before 10 pm, went home Saturday and was cooking a roast dinner the next day. What a champ. 

That was my sister. Less than 11 hrs from beginning to end with her first, 20 minutes of pushing. With the 2nd she got to the hospital at 8pm after a few hours of mild (according to her) contractions and the baby was out at 8:07pm. She went home by 4pm the next day. After my not as smooth delivery I told her I hated her every time we spoke for the next 2 weeks ?.

[JillyO]

2 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

@JillyO It's Happening! Already! Yay! Congrats to you and Mr O.

(Insert many cute baby Pokemons here )

Haha, I know right?! Mr. O was like "I wouldn't have minded if it had taken us a little longer than three weeks to conceive" when I told him. (FTR we are thrilled and appreciate just how lucky we are to not have trouble conceiving. It's just first-time parent nerves. )

6 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Congratulations!!!!! Wishing you all the best!

If I remember right you are in Germany? If so- go and call midwives straight away. The shortage is unbelievable in most places.

Thanks! We are German, but live in California. My MIL is a midwife so that would actually be super convenient if she didn't live on another continent, LOL.

Thanks for the love everyone! I appreciate being able to talk about it here. We haven't told anyone except for my doctor IRL (I'm only 5 weeks tomorrow) and I'm having a hard time hiding it already because of all the holiday parties. This is like the only time of year where me not drinking is super obvious so I've already had to pull a "pour some of my drink in the bathroom sink" move. We'll have to tell our families at Christmas even though I'll only be 6/7 weeks along because we'll be staying a week with each of our families and they will immediately guess if I don't drink at all. And now I sound like an alcoholic, which I'm really not!

[Virago]

@JillyO if you’re not ready to share yet, there are some medications that you can’t drink on - you could always make a little white lie about that. When out, most bartenders are used to being asked quietly for something like “soda but make it look like a drink” if you go that route.

 

I had back labor with a hand next to her face for my second, an unmedicated birth. Objectively I know it hurt worse than my first (also unmedicated) birth, but honestly labor all hurts. It’s like if you’ve broken 10 bones, is 2 extra much worse? Objectively yes, but not so much in the moment. You’ve got this!

[Iamtheway]

11 hours ago, dawbs said:

One of the hazards of reading stories is that people dont tell "good" ones because they're boring and not 'stories'

This is so true! I’ll talk about our troubles concieving and our failed ivf:s, I’ll happily tell anyone about my 53 hour labour and how I thought I was going to die from the pain after the induction. But I don’t talk much about the fact that I only needed three stitches and felt completly healed after just a few weeks. 

And I would NEVER willingly tell anyone how my baby slept most of the night pretty much from birth and how I was never really that tired. I don’t want other mum’s throwing stuff at me ... 

I was an even better sleeper and slept ALL night from birth. My dad tells me all the other parents at parent group hated them. 

Everyone will have something that’s easy and something else that is hard. Just don’t try to listen to everyones advice at once! Congratulations!

Edited December 16, 2019 by Iamtheway
Forgot to say congratulations!

[Peaches-n-Beans]

2 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

This is so true! I’ll talk about our troubles concieving and our failed ivf:s, I’ll happily tell anyone about my 53 hour labour and how I thought I was going to die from the pain after the induction. But I don’t talk much about the fact that I only needed three stitches and felt completly healed after just a few weeks. 

And I would NEVER willingly tell anyone how my baby slept most of the night pretty much from birth and how I was never really that tired. I don’t want other mum’s throwing stuff at me ... 

I was an even better sleeper and slept ALL night from birth. My dad tells me all the other parents at parent group hated them. 

Everyone will have something that’s easy and something else that is hard. Just don’t try to listen to everyones advice at once! Congratulations!

I slept through the night at 2 weeks old nad my mom, dad, and grandparents were convinced I’d died O.o. It’s wild to hear about now. 

[squiddysquid]

16 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

One of my friends found out she was pregnant during our OBs/GYN course - can you imagine? ?

Everything went fine, but what a champ!

And congratulations!

Edited December 16, 2019 by squiddysquid

[EyesOpen]

20 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

Aw congrats! I had two great deliveries before the emergency and my emergency was very rare. They have no idea how it happened. I had all my deliveries in the hospital. Got to the time each time, had wonderful medical care each time!

[Belugaloo]

14 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

People just don't talk about easy deliveries because those with heart deliveries get upset. But my first took six hours from first contraction to birth and the largest complication was that they kept thinking they'd need to do interventions and then not. It's not always bad and Recovery is not as bad as they say either

In addition to this- hard deliveries aren't always traumatizing***. It seems like you get 2 options- easy delivery or horrible one. However, my moms labor with me was 12 hours (fairly normal), she had an epidural and demeral during it. The epidural wore off towards the end of her labor. She had an episiotomy, but ripped in both directions. she said the numbing shots hurt, but she recounts the story like its no big deal, because apparently oxytocin is a strong ass drug! 

 

 

I realized this phrasing might sound condescending to those with traumatizing births. For the record, I have a major childbirth fear. No judgement/condescension intended at all. 

[freethemall]

22 hours ago, JillyO said:

I just found out I'm pregnant with our first child on Monday. I think I need to stop reading this thread or I'll freak out about your horror stories of back labor and post-partum hemorrhage and what not. This shit just became way too real. ?

Congratulations! I highly suggest reading one of Ina May Gaskins books about birthing without fear, her books are filled with positive stories that show you how natural birth is. While yes, being aware and accepting of various things that can go wrong. This isnt to say you need to be crunchy and have a home birth, it's just a good mindset with some helpful tips.

And most importantly, I know for myself that even after the constant puking, 20 hrs of labor with 8 hrs of active pushing, tearing and hemorrhoids after, I'd do it all a million times over to see my sons beautiful face at the end. Labor was a really transformative, empowering experience for me and right now i have baby frenzy and am almost nostalgic for it.

Edited December 16, 2019 by freethemall

[just_ordinary]

I would like to add, that having a c-section (planned or not) can be a very positive birth experience as well. Being open for unplanned things is important. You might realise you actually don’t want relaxing music, or your spouse to just shut up and sit down outside or that there have to be more interventions because you never know how it will go.

I had an unplanned c-section after 8h of back labour that did absolutely nothing in terms of progressing. Not what I wished for but I still had a great birth and my recovery was just as good as my friends with natural birth. Just different areas.  

[Flossie]

@JillyO  

Congratulations!  May any morning sickness be easily manageable, an uneventful pregnancy, and a labor/delivery that fades in your mind when you get the prize at the end:  You get to hold your baby!

Seriously, I think that women who have had horrible labors and deliveries talk about them because it's helpful to work through what happened when you can talk about it.  After that, yeah, there's sometimes bragging.  But more likely it's a feeling of pride you made it through, they're giving advice for others, maybe letting women know that a rough labor can be endured, or any number of reasons.

Easier labors and deliveries are probably more common, but may not seem dramatic enough to be talked about a lot.  It's good for women to remember that it can happen, though.  For a first time mother, everything is new and they have enough to worry about.  Just make sure that you get the best medical care possible and feel like the people you surround yourself with are competent and have only the best intentions for you and your baby.

Oh, and now that I've given you some unsolicited advice, here's another piece:  People are going to give you lots of advice, especially when you're a first time mom.  Simply smile and tell them you'll discuss that with your doctor/midwife.