Alyssa & John 3: Modesty Make-Up

[Screamapillar]

If I can play Armchair Psychologist for a moment: Alyssa comes across as not having loved the experience of growing up in a house full of girls, especially in the teen years. (Can't say that I blame her, the Bates are a special kind of obnoxious) I wouldn't be surprised if her own experience is not a big, if not the biggest, reason behind her dread of teenage girl drama.

If that is the case: stop having babies, Alyssa. Don't inflict the same experience that you didn't like upon your own children.

[Melissa1977]

49 minutes ago, Screamapillar said:

If I can play Armchair Psychologist for a moment: Alyssa comes across as not having loved the experience of growing up in a house full of girls, especially in the teen years. (Can't say that I blame her, the Bates are a special kind of obnoxious) I wouldn't be surprised if her own experience is not a big, if not the biggest, reason behind her dread of teenage girl drama.

If that is the case: stop having babies, Alyssa. Don't inflict the same experience that you didn't like upon your own children.

If she had 3 boys she would be also fed up of drama. Toddlers are drama. And fights. And kisses and funny moments. 3 babies in 3 years is hard no matter their sex. 

She adores dresses and bows and make up. She should be content with her 3 girls (at far as we know, the 2 oldest seem girly-girls). If she had 3 boys she would be praying for a girl to dress up.

 

[Hisey]

6 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

Alyssa emphasizes a lot on her instagram that she still has health issues, I have the feeling she does this also to try to avoid getting too many 'are you pregnant yet?' comments.

 

Three small children and health problems. I can't imagine a ruder question than "Are you pregnant?"

For all we know, she desperately wants to get pregnant again and is grieving the fact that the meds prevent this. It's really unkind of her "supporters" to pressure her, like it's some kind of game.

[llucie]

Alyssa posted that her, John and the girls are travelling to Tennesse. I guess its to record for the show. I wonder what event are they going to record.

[19tacos&counting]

2 hours ago, llucie said:

Alyssa posted that her, John and the girls are travelling to Tennesse. I guess its to record for the show. I wonder what event are they going to record.

She said in the comments,  the season 8B promo for the show

[llucie]

34 minutes ago, 19tacos&counting said:

She said in the comments,  the season 8B promo for the show

Ah well that makes sense, then no new announcements, hopefully.

[Mrs Ms]

Josie is also due soon and she and Alyssa are very close 

[19tacos&counting]

Alyssa posted an update on her heart condition. She has to have another surgery as the one in April was not successful. She said the doctor said her arrhythmia is one of the worst he’s seen. I hope she’s able to get it under control. That must be scary for them especially with three young kids at home. 

 

I wont be surprised if we see a long break (2-3 years) from any new kids. That’s IF they are able to get this under control. If not, they could be done having kids

[nokidsmom]

39 minutes ago, 19tacos&counting said:

Alyssa posted an update on her heart condition. She has to have another surgery as the one in April was not successful.

Wow, I am sorry to hear this.    Scary enough to go through one surgery, now she has to do it again.   I feel for her. 

I don't get into speculation on fundie child spacing or birth control methods when there's a longer space between kids, but will say that something like this might just be the thing that limits Alyssa's family even if she goes on to have more kids.   We have talked before about making easy changes like wearing pants after being skirts only, and other minor stuff like that, but a health condition is the harder stuff that makes for bigger changes by necessity.  

ETA: One thing I will say, that in spite of who his father is, John seems to be very loving and supportive.  

 

Edited July 5, 2019 by nokidsmom

[OyToTheVey]

Alyssa doesn't seem like the type of mom that will continue having kids even tho she knows it might kill her. I think if the doctors tell her to stop, she will.

[AliceInFundyland]

1 hour ago, OyToTheVey said:

Alyssa doesn't seem like the type of mom that will continue having kids even tho she knows it might kill her. I think if the doctors tell her to stop, she will.

I hope so. I sincerely hope so.

We've all suspected that it wasn't her ideal to begin with.

But what would be the best is if at some point they flat out come out and are honest about their birthing decisions for the future.

Even if they say it is because of her medical situation and they have to put that first I would give them something in the vein of credit for not being evasive.

[OyToTheVey]

2 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

I hope so. I sincerely hope so.

We've all suspected that it wasn't her ideal to begin with.

But what would be the best is if at some point they flat out come out and are honest about their birthing decisions for the future.

Even if they say it is because of her medical situation and they have to put that first I would give them something in the vein of credit for not being evasive.

I just don't believe Alyssa would leave her kids without a mom. Erin? 100% she'll keep having kids until she can't anymore. I get a different vibe from Alyssa. I feel like she wants to enjoy life and not be sick. And if that means cutting off at 3 well that will happen. I don't think they'll ever truly say it's because of her medical situation. They'll skirt around it with " oh we'll see and we're talking to doctors". 

[AliceInFundyland]

8 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

I just don't believe Alyssa would leave her kids without a mom. Erin? 100% she'll keep having kids until she can't anymore. I get a different vibe from Alyssa. I feel like she wants to enjoy life and not be sick. And if that means cutting off at 3 well that will happen. I don't think they'll ever truly say it's because of her medical situation. They'll skirt around it with " oh we'll see and we're talking to doctors". 

They could blame it on the Lord. There's always a way., ? "The Lord (doctors) has decided that it is best for our family to be complete with our three beautiful girls. We have prayed about it and are excited to see what the next season of life will hold."

[nokidsmom]

8 minutes ago, OyToTheVey said:

I just don't believe Alyssa would leave her kids without a mom. Erin? 100% she'll keep having kids until she can't anymore. I get a different vibe from Alyssa. I feel like she wants to enjoy life and not be sick. And if that means cutting off at 3 well that will happen. I don't think they'll ever truly say it's because of her medical situation. They'll skirt around it with " oh we'll see and we're talking to doctors". 

Agree that Alyssa does want to enjoy life and if that means stopping, she will likely do it.   

Whether they will say outright it's for medical reasons or skirt the issue, it's up to them.  Actually they are not obligated to say one way or another.   But maybe if Alyssa gets a definite "no" from doctors that might be all she needs to come out and definitely say she's not having more, this is why, it's a medical reason, end of story, no more discussion. 

[LillyP]

I remember years ago, before having kids, Alyssa said she wanted 6-8 kids but definitely not anywhere near what her parents had. Then after they had Allie she said during a "game" she only wanted 6 kids. She was very vocal that she didn't want 19+ kids, so be it BC or NPF, she obviously at some point planned to intentionally not get pregnant. That being said she threw that number out there pretty early on. Having kids is a giant smack in the face of reality...haha. Now that she has 3 she might have changed her mind. 

I always assumed I'd have 2 kids, but I also assumed I'd have them in my mid-20's. Life didn't work out that way and I had my baby in my early 30's. While I'm certainly young enough to have another I am very much on the fence and might be one and done. My WHOLE life I assumed I'd have two kids...but once you have one your perspective changes a lot. 

I can see Alyssa stopping at 3. I could also see her going for maybe one more provided they get the health thing under control. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say if they make it to 6 I'll be surprised. 

[19tacos&counting]

I wonder if they are desperate to go after that elusive “prodigal son”. If they had, let’s say 2 boys 2 girls, would they be a lot more content to stop? Or even 2 girls 1 boy. They mentioned stopping after 4 if they have another girl, so they had at least some plan to go for #4, before all this. I guess time will tell

[Hisey]

 I doubt they are desperate for a baby boy at the moment, since she is facing a second surgery and feeling pretty crappy.

Edited July 6, 2019 by Hisey

[Melissa1977]

13 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

I just don't believe Alyssa would leave her kids without a mom. Erin? 100% she'll keep having kids until she can't anymore. I get a different vibe from Alyssa. I feel like she wants to enjoy life and not be sick. And if that means cutting off at 3 well that will happen. I don't think they'll ever truly say it's because of her medical situation. They'll skirt around it with " oh we'll see and we're talking to doctors". 

I don't see any Bates having kids if their life is in real danger. They would pray about it and magically God would answer that yes, BC is acceptable only for them and only for that reason. Not for you neither for me, of course. Just for the chosen ones. 

[Flossie]

I thought that Kelly once said that unrestricted childbearing could be legitimately suspended in matters of the mothers health.  This would have been back when Erin was first diagnosed with her blood-clotting disorder.

Now, I don't know what kind of measures would be acceptable to prevent pregnancy, what they would do if birth control failed, or even if Kelly was talking about any woman or just for her own daughters.  But it does seem that with her own children, Kelly is OK with birth control in a limited fashion.  Funny how that whole "have as many children as God gives you" goes out the window if a pregnancy could endanger the life of someone related to her.

[frugalitymom]

With her health issues she could get her tubes tied despite her young age. I know some doctors hesitate when women are young but health issues change that. I don’t know if she would go that far with their belief system but she might consider it if having more children could effect her health. 

[HurricaneBells]

On 7/6/2019 at 7:18 AM, LillyP said:

I always assumed I'd have 2 kids, but I also assumed I'd have them in my mid-20's. Life didn't work out that way and I had my baby in my early 30's. While I'm certainly young enough to have another I am very much on the fence and might be one and done. My WHOLE life I assumed I'd have two kids...but once you have one your perspective changes a lot. 

Are you me? Ditto sister, ditto although I would now be classified as a "geriatric mother" at the ripe old age of 38. I however am not on the fence, we are done.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

1 hour ago, HurricaneBells said:

Are you me? Ditto sister, ditto although I would now be classified as a "geriatric mother" at the ripe old age of 38. I however am not on the fence, we are done.

I was a geriatric first and second time mother at 38 and 40, and I'm so grateful that my body was able to do that. (With quality prenatal care, a good OB-GYN, a good hospital, and awesome nurses. Also a loving family.) 

Sometimes, for various reasons, life just doesn't line up with a couple's desire to have kids at a younger age. Being "old" did make it easier to be sure we were done after #2. We were comfortable with being done, and few people question an "older" couple who stop when they're 40 and 42.

The few times I've been asked if we would ever try for a third child, all I said was that I was 40 when I had our last child, and I had my tubes tied less than 24 hours after I gave birth. That ended the conversation quickly.

[TeaELSee]

I had no idea I had a geriatric pregnancy when I was 38!  It sounds so young to me now! 

Edited July 8, 2019 by TeaELSee

[Screamapillar]

I was classified as elderly multigravida with my second pregnancy just because I turned 35 shortly before my due date.

 

 

[HarleyQuinn]

Getting called geriatric in your 30's.  Jesus. 

As for Alyssa. I can see her probably trying for a boy once this has blown over but I'm curious if she would accept bc if a doctor told her specifically to be on it. I don't think they're too great at NFP.