M is for Mama 3: B is for Baby Boy Born

[TuringMachine]

It's kinda funny how directly she's responding to people here

[ophelia]

Braggie just LOVES the attention she gets. Even if it is from a snark board. 

[BobJonesBabe]

1 hour ago, ophelia said:

Braggie just LOVES the attention she gets. Even if it is from a snark board. 

Including responding the this board by also posting another pic of her husband. With a kid. ?

[Briefly]

17 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Many mother in my city have their first kid at 30 something. Probably for financial reasons but the *make your youth longer* also plays a role.

I understand your point of view because you were a young mom. But having a kid when you are older may be also an enjoyable decision

@Briefly when I was a kid a 39 year old mother was considered too old and almost crazy to have a kid. Nowadays, it's normal and in some places, the exception are the young moms.

I was 30 when our daughter was born.  But we'd been trying for 7 years, so my age was just the way it happened.  But in hindsight, I was more ready at age 30 than I would have been at 23.  Job security, emotionally ready, etc.

[madeesaurus]

On 2/3/2019 at 7:59 PM, Briefly said:

My mom turned 39 about 2 1/2 months after I was born.  I was a surprise!  At the time I didn't realize it as much, but as an adult and a mother myself I can see that there were differences between my parents and the parents of my friends, just because my parents were older than most of my friend's parents.  They had slightly different interests and not as much in common with them, while they were about the same age as the parents of my brother and sister's friends.

My mom was 39 and a half when I (also a surprise) was born! It was avowed that I would be the last one, she was too old for this, etc etc, and then my brother arrived twenty months later. The doctor wouldn't tie her tubes after either of our c-sections because it was a Catholic hospital ?

[bea]

My mom was 38 when I was born and was straight-up called an “elderly” first time mom by the hospital.
I’m the kid of people who had a baby late (because they had to wait for dispensations from the Pope), and my husband is the offspring of very much younger parents. My father was older than my husband’s grandfather, in fact.
At 46, I have an 11yo and a 9yo. I have high school classmates that are grandparents and one immensely brave college friend had a baby on her own at 45. We all bring different strengths to parenting. [emoji3590]

[Captain Obvious]

Still no news. 

And I'm putting a late hat in the ring on the baby detail predictions - I'm predicting Abel William, 9lb 3oz, born 7 February. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think my guess for a name was Valiant. 

He’s here!

[EowynW]

I find it hard to be excited for babies once you're just adding another one to massive herd. I am so bad, lol. 

There was a lady in my homeschool group that had 13! 

Edited February 6, 2019 by EowynW

[SassyPants]

29 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I find it hard to be excited for babies once you're just adding another one to massive herd. I am so bad, lol. 

There was a lady in my homeschool group that had 13! 

Yep. I never understand the mentality that more makes each one more special. Um, no, just the opposite in fact. Just a number. But hey, she’s not pg anymore, and obviously that’s the most important part of this story.

[SuperNova]

Abbie has a full face of make up and jewelry. I'm guessing that "quite a story" is Abbiespeak for ill prepared. It looks like she and baby are in good shape so I count that as a plus. I'm with @EowynW, it's hard to be excited when you know what's ahead for the little one. Another baby for Ezra to raise.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Who volunteers to read the upcoming long as fuck blog entry about the birth? I’ve read a couple of hers already (the twin birth post was excruciating). I’ve done my duty. 

[Tigerchild74]

I had three kids before I was 30.  Then to my utter shock, I got knocked up again when I was 39 (found out I was pregnant the day after I'd signed a lease on my business location for my massage practice).  I will not lie, I struggled with suicidal thoughts for awhile, and it was like having PPD except for I was pregnant.  (I've always had PPD after each pregnancy).

Also complicating things was my last pregnancy involved TTTS (the same thing that Zsu's twins had) and so that experience was very traumatic all around even though both of mine survived.  So there was just a lot to deal with/traumas resurfacing, ect.

After I got to the accepting stage that this was really going to happen, it was smooth sailing.  Healthiest and easiest pregnancy I've ever experienced.  I kept up my 5k every other day jogging until almost 4 months, worked until 2 weeks before my C-section, ect.  He was the easiest baby.  He is a high energy nut, but he is very happy and cheerful personality and loves people (which was great, because he was passed around and adored by many a parent and middle school boy/girl after he was born, and still is adored by the high school friends of my older kids).  While I do not have the energy that I did when I was in my 20s, I also only have 1 little kid instead of 3.  I am a better parent.  I am calmer, work smarter not harder, I am more accepting of others and able to ward off the mommy competitions because I know in the long term no one asks or gives a shit what kind of diapers your kid wore and whether you breastfed, when your kids are in elementary school and beyond.  All the stuff that seems like such a big deal when you are a first timer or deep in the weeds of baby to preschoolderdom just...nobody cares.  This is a good thing.  I wonder if parents who have years of having kid after kid so they are perpetually focused on pregnancy/baby/toddlerdom get stuck in that mentality instead of chilling out when they get some distance from it.  That seems to be the experience that I've witnessed from the few people I personally know (usually very religious) who may not call themselves quiverful but clearly are pursuing having as many babies as possible and are still in the process of churning them out.

 

I find that I am now amongst the "older moms" with my youngest's cohort, but I have yet to be the oldest in any group, and there's always several people my age too.  I guess this makes sense since even though I felt I was an old maid not having kids until I was 25 due to my upbringing, I was always on the younger end of the moms groups back then.  

[ViolaSebastian]

It's interesting how perspectives have changed. In 1982, the year I was born, my mother was 30 and my father was 31. According to my mother, she and my father were the oldest people in the required Lamaze class they took. I also tended to have the oldest parents in my school cohort, although there were a couple of kids with fathers who were older than that. Now 30 and 31 is typical and no one would think anything of it. 

[nausicaa]

1 hour ago, ViolaSebastian said:

It's interesting how perspectives have changed. In 1982, the year I was born, my mother was 30 and my father was 31. According to my mother, she and my father were the oldest people in the required Lamaze class they took. I also tended to have the oldest parents in my school cohort, although there were a couple of kids with fathers who were older than that. Now 30 and 31 is typical and no one would think anything of it. 

My mother was 32 when I, her youngest, was born. She was healthy and super fertile, but it was the 80s and she was from a rural area, so she thought she was kinda old (and they weren't super conservative, just mainstream Catholics). In my city now, married couples are still considered on the young side if they're having kids at 30. Most people, especially women, in more competitive jobs wait until 33-35 to have their first kid. 

Regional differences are always driven home when this topic comes up and FJers mention being considered old to have a kid at 25. My cosseted East Coast bougie mind just can't believe it.

[luv2laugh]

Abbie just posted a picture. She had the baby.

She posted a dolled up picture of herself yesterday before going on her date night. I bet she had the baby before they were going to leave the house for date night.

Edited February 6, 2019 by luv2laugh

[Eponine]

I used to nanny for a family who had kids pretty close together when the mom was about 29-33 or so, then had another two when she was, I think, 41 and 43. When the youngest was born the dad was just about 50. I happened to look fairly similar to the family, especially the baby, so they used to joke that everyone thought I was the baby's mom and they were my parents. But in reality, in their upper class, urban environment, they were more the norm than I would have been if that kid had been mine.

In my area it really is a class/education thing. Where I live there are a huge amount of young and teen moms, but at the same time there are also lots and lots of people having kids in their late 30's-early 40's. But there is a really strong class/education divide: almost none of the wealthier couples are having them on the earlier side.

Also kind of interesting - because here we so often think about women's societal pressure and/or strong desires to have kids - my neighbor, a hugely successful career man, had a baby a few years ago through a surrogate at 45 or so because he figured it was pointless to keep waiting for a long-term partner. He definitely felt the biological clock ticking. It turned out he found a partner just a few months after the baby was born!

 

[SassyPants]

I know many an older, educated couple who regret waiting until their early 40s women and mid 40’s men to have kids. Retirement plans and simultaneous college and grad school tuition is often times very difficult. Most of these folks expect that their kids will be as educated, if not more so, than themselves. 

[luv2laugh]

I used to banter back and forth about what is the best time to have kids and I don’t anymore. I tell myself that in support of other women, I’m not going to judge any woman for having kids “too young” or “too old” because the most important thing is to have them whenever we feel is a good time for us and that will look very different for every woman. Personally, for me, that will be at a later age because as much as I wish things were falling into the right places right now, they aren’t. Going to graduate school is still probably in my future but I might just start trying to conceive during that process anyway. Although I do know that there’s no such thing as a “perfect time” to have a baby.

Edited February 6, 2019 by luv2laugh

[Jellybean]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Who volunteers to read the upcoming long as fuck blog entry about the birth? I’ve read a couple of hers already (the twin birth post was excruciating). I’ve done my duty. 

*raises hand tentatively from the back of the class*

I don’t mind doing it. I read fast (always a plus in situations like this) and type fast, or at least I do when I don’t have a sleeping cat draped over one arm, so I can summarise easily for those who would rather not trawl through a monotonous blog post. 

A perfect typo: I mistyped monotonous as ‘MOMotonous’ — seems like it might be a good nickname!

[zcccrv]

On 2/3/2019 at 7:33 PM, SuperNova said:

I'm 39. Baby Nova moved out almost 6 years ago at age 17 to attend college. The thought of having a baby at this point in my life is frankly laughable. I did my time, I raised a good human and enjoyed every minute but starting over would be a prison sentence.

For me it would have been a prison sentence to have a child at 16. Even in my 20's I was still an idiot, but at 16 I haven't even kissed anyone yet. I honestly started sorting my life out in my 30's. Ended a long term relationship (it's been great for both of us to be able to go our separate ways after spending 14 years together without much ties to the past), stopped worrying about nonsense, found a wonderful partner... Just plain became happier and much more calm by the time I hit my mid 30's. If a child happens at this point- it would only be a bonus in my life.

[JermajestyDuggar]

43 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

*raises hand tentatively from the back of the class*

I don’t mind doing it. I read fast (always a plus in situations like this) and type fast, or at least I do when I don’t have a sleeping cat draped over one arm, so I can summarise easily for those who would rather not trawl through a monotonous blog post. 

A perfect typo: I mistyped monotonous as ‘MOMotonous’ — seems like it might be a good nickname!

Thank you. She will literally post about every fucking moment in great detail. By the time I was done reading about the twin birth, I was exhausted. I’m sure this will be no different. 

[ViolaSebastian]

1 hour ago, luv2laugh said:

Abbie just posted a picture. She had the baby.

She posted a dolled up picture of herself yesterday before going on her date night. I bet she had the baby before they were going to leave the house for date night.

I'm getting an unassisted birth vibe, for some reason. 

[Off the Rails]

3 hours ago, Tigerchild74 said:

I had three kids before I was 30.  Then to my utter shock, I got knocked up again when I was 39 (found out I was pregnant the day after I'd signed a lease on my business location for my massage practice).  I will not lie, I struggled with suicidal thoughts for awhile, and it was like having PPD except for I was pregnant.  (I've always had PPD after each pregnancy).

Also complicating things was my last pregnancy involved TTTS (the same thing that Zsu's twins had) and so that experience was very traumatic all around even though both of mine survived.  So there was just a lot to deal with/traumas resurfacing, ect.

After I got to the accepting stage that this was really going to happen, it was smooth sailing.  Healthiest and easiest pregnancy I've ever experienced.  I kept up my 5k every other day jogging until almost 4 months, worked until 2 weeks before my C-section, ect.  He was the easiest baby.  He is a high energy nut, but he is very happy and cheerful personality and loves people (which was great, because he was passed around and adored by many a parent and middle school boy/girl after he was born, and still is adored by the high school friends of my older kids).  While I do not have the energy that I did when I was in my 20s, I also only have 1 little kid instead of 3.  I am a better parent.  I am calmer, work smarter not harder, I am more accepting of others and able to ward off the mommy competitions because I know in the long term no one asks or gives a shit what kind of diapers your kid wore and whether you breastfed, when your kids are in elementary school and beyond.  All the stuff that seems like such a big deal when you are a first timer or deep in the weeds of baby to preschoolderdom just...nobody cares.  This is a good thing.  I wonder if parents who have years of having kid after kid so they are perpetually focused on pregnancy/baby/toddlerdom get stuck in that mentality instead of chilling out when they get some distance from it.  That seems to be the experience that I've witnessed from the few people I personally know (usually very religious) who may not call themselves quiverful but clearly are pursuing having as many babies as possible and are still in the process of churning them out.

 

I find that I am now amongst the "older moms" with my youngest's cohort, but I have yet to be the oldest in any group, and there's always several people my age too.  I guess this makes sense since even though I felt I was an old maid not having kids until I was 25 due to my upbringing, I was always on the younger end of the moms groups back then.  

I have been doing babies and toddlers for 12 years straight (we have 8 kids) and I'm SO RELIEVED to report that you just don't care as much about all those little things that seemed so important with the first babies/toddlers, even though there's no "space" between our first and last. Age for sure has mellowed my parenting and helped me just enjoy the journey and time with my kids.

Also, number 8 is just as special as number 1 and definitely NOT just a number to us.  But also not, somehow, more special like some large families make it sound. He's his own person and special for that reason, the same as our other 7 kids.

[Glasgowghirl]

I'm nearly 32 and just starting a relationship, I would want a baby in the next year or two if I wasn't still at University and had been in a relationship longer. If I did get pregnant unexpectedly I would still keep the child and I'd be happy but working in a low paid job and still University and juggling a child is something I'd rather not do.