Lori Alexander 61: Harridan MIL

[Petronella]

23 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

wonder how long until this is deleted? 

Ugh. Second commenter is such a bitch. It's not wilful misunderstanding; it's taking Lori at her word. Lori DOES mean exactly what the first commenter said and Lori IS contradicting herself. That's WHY the disagreement.

[EowynW]

Today's post just makes me sad. I don't even have the energy to be angry anymore. 

[PinkPrincess0213]

@EowynW, I agree. I cannot possibly imagine choosing to spend my life the way that Lori does. What a waste.

[Frog99]

I can’t fathom how anyone thinks it’s ok for an adult- male or female- to be given an allowance (barring any situation where the adult routinely mismanages money putting the family at risk):

 

[EowynW]

2 hours ago, PinkPrincess0213 said:

@EowynW, I agree. I cannot possibly imagine choosing to spend my life the way that Lori does. What a waste.

The raising your daughter posts always make me extra sad. I lived it. Many of my friends lived it.  And many people I know, family included, are repeating the whole cycle, and will hurt more girls, even if they don't mean to. 

 

 

[EowynW]

And I think some of these mothers, they have doubts sometimes, deep down. But the system is all they know, it's set up against them, it's abusive, demeaming and most of the time there's a real element of fear instilled in you, and you squash those doubts and just raise your daughters to do the same thing. It seems so black and white looking from the outside in, but it's complicated on the inside. So many of these women are victims themselves.  

My own mother, even though she believes a lot of the shitty stuff Lori spouts (usually on a milder level tho), looked at me right before I got married & anxiously said "don't let your husband consume all of you. Don't let him change you. Keep part of you YOU always." And I think, deep down, she had doubts about the system that she thought she was sending her daughter into. My mom also refused to have my sister include "obey" in her wedding vows, because my sister is extremely tender, passive,  sensitive, anxiety prone, and takes everything too hard and serious (she suffers from religious OCD & trauma IMO even though no one can see it) and is easy to manipulate and my Mom was afraid if she promised to obey at the alter, she would internalize it and completely lose herself, bowing to her type A slightly asshole-lish (my word, lol) husband's every whim because she'd feel like she would have to because she promised she would. 

[delphinium65]

6 minutes ago, EowynW said:

And I think some of these mothers, they have doubts sometimes, deep down. But the system is all they know, it's set up against them, it's abusive, demeaming and most of the time there's a real element of fear instilled in you, and you squash those doubts and just raise your daughters to do the same thing. It seems so black and white looking from the outside in, but it's complicated on the inside. So many of these women are victims themselves.  

Nail, head, you hit it.  I doubted the system for years, in fact I reached the point of being pretty sure that it was all bullshit, but I was afraid to go with what I was almost sure of.  What if I was wrong?  I didn't dare risk leading my children into eternal damnation.  With the stakes that high, I wanted to be absolutely sure I was right, so I didn't make a move for far too long.  I so wish I had trusted my own judgment a lot sooner!  

[Briefly]

2 hours ago, Frog99 said:

I can’t fathom how anyone thinks it’s ok for an adult- male or female- to be given an allowance (barring any situation where the adult routinely mismanages money putting the family at risk):

 

Liam Blake, you are an asshole.  No other word for you.

That attitude makes me extremely angry, more than I can find words for.  One of the things that attitude instills is an inability to have the financial means to escape, if she's married to an abuser.  It is such an extreme level of control.  

[wallysmommy]

Here's the other wonderful opinion from Liam the Dickhead.  The second conversation has great entertainment value.  I'm almost afraid to put it here because Lori will go in and delete it.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Yes  x 1000 .  I grew up with someone whose mother had no money of her own and was given an allowance to buy groceries. Cash only, no access to the checking account or a credit card.

The husband was a prominent well off person in our small town so had a running account at the gas station/garage and the drugstore, dress shop, home town dept store, etc.  The woman would just tell the clerks to charge whatever it was to the hub's account.  This way she never has any access to money.

My friend told me her father made her mother justify every single thing she ever charged, some times making her return things if he deemed them unnecessary or too expensive.   I heard my mother and a friend once comment that Mrs. X's allowance was never enough to cover her grocery shopping for the family, which was why she bought day old bread and meat and milk about to expire.  Of course Mr X routinely bitched to anyone who would listen. that Mrs X wasn't producing gourmet meals on the pittance he gave her.

[yeetedonem]

Why doesn't Lori move to Saudi Arabia? Seems like she approves of the male guardianship style

[Hisey]

36 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I grew up with someone whose mother had no money of her own and was given an allowance to buy groceries. Cash only, no access to the checking account or a credit card.

Grew up with someone? My daughter has a friend whose family has the same setup, right now in 2019. Oddly enough, they are probably the wealthiest people we know. The mother receives an allowance. All unusual expenses must be cleared through dad. The kids hesitate to ask their mom for things, not wanting to put stress on the allowance.

My mother had an allowance. Getting it from my abusive father was not easy. It was weekly. Starting on Mondays, I'd hear my mother asking, coaxing, even (though she was a proud woman) wheedling for the money she needed to feed her kids. Sometimes she'd leave notes for him--asking politely for the money, or making a joke out of it to humor him. . . she tried everything. Usually he'd jerk her around and leave only a portion. I'd come down to eat breakfast and find a couple of twenties on the table, near the note. And he was a very wealthy man (I should say that they were both wealthy but this obviously wasn't true. It was his money). And that was in the 1970s.

So, yes, I have issues with money.

[Lgirlrocks]

My boy friends mom grew up with money issues. Anytime she received money her mother would take it. They weren’t poor or anything. His mom hates spending money and everything has to be justified. She puts everything into savings instead of paying things off. 

[feministxtian]

what is this bullshit with a tracking app? And people put up with this shit? I'll usually tell Mr. Xtian where I'm going but if he wanted to track me, I'd shove HIS phone up his ass, sideways. 

That shit would NOT fly...at all. Why do these women have such low self-esteem? I LOVE being free. Love Mr. Xtian to pieces but he knows better than try that control bullshit. Fuck that noise. 

[AliceInFundyland]

@EowynW That’s one of the most encouraging things I’ve heard about your mother. It’s good to hear she has some ability for awareness.

[Sarah92]

10 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

what is this bullshit with a tracking app? And people put up with this shit? I'll usually tell Mr. Xtian where I'm going but if he wanted to track me, I'd shove HIS phone up his ass, sideways. 

That shit would NOT fly...at all. Why do these women have such low self-esteem? I LOVE being free. Love Mr. Xtian to pieces but he knows better than try that control bullshit. Fuck that noise. 

Those tracking apps are becoming more common now. It's why many women have to leave their phones behind when leaving an abusive situation. I think they cover the micromanaging up with the whole "don't you just love how much he protects you? Isn't his attention just wonderful? You're so lucky to have a husband who is so protective and is such a good leader"

[Lisafer]

@EowynW I worry about one of my sisters because she vowed at the altar to submit to her husband. I worry about what mental distress she might have to go through if her beliefs change and no longer align with that vow.

[EowynW]

43 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

@EowynW That’s one of the most encouraging things I’ve heard about your mother. It’s good to hear she has some ability for awareness.

She does more than I expect she does. Every once in awhile she will say something quite surprising. She is a second generation IFB preacher's kid. She was born into the system but I often wonder what she'd be like if she hadn't been, because she's quite a neat woman in many ways. Breaks my heart. 

[AliceInFundyland]

1 minute ago, EowynW said:

She does more than I expect she does. Every once in awhile she will say something quite surprising. She is a second generation IFB preacher's kid. She was born into the system but I often wonder what she'd be like if she hadn't been, because she's quite a neat woman in many ways. Breaks my heart. 

I feel like that about my Dad. He has a lot of good qualities. I can’t ever dismiss his parental role completely. If not for the things that made him turn out like he did....maybe we could have turned out differently. Sigh.

[SongRed7]

12 hours ago, feministxtian said:

what is this bullshit with a tracking app? And people put up with this shit? I'll usually tell Mr. Xtian where I'm going but if he wanted to track me, I'd shove HIS phone up his ass, sideways. 

I think she was saying that tongue-in-cheek....she and the other one in that thread were playing with Lori (notice the Plexus reference and taking courtship pictures).   But Lori is too dense to know when people are trolls or playing with her.  I think Alyssa Roberts is one of those trolls who writes things "supporting" Lori in a hard line way, but if you look at their profiles, there is no way they support Lori/nor would Lori see them as "Godly" women.  

We could start a new game:  "Spot the troll"   LOL 

[wallysmommy]

Yes, they were trolling her, but Lori might leave the posts up since they look real on first glance.

Since it's Award season coming up, I'm proudly announcing the first annual FJ Awards:

Biggest Douchebag goes to....Liam Blake, new to the scene, he has raised the bar on douchebaggery.

Most Self-Righteous goes to...Lori Alexander, supported by her Knight in khaki armor, Ken.

Best Makeup and Costuming in a fundie melodrama goes to ... Jill Rodrigues (That was easy)

Best supporting character in a fundie production goes to...Nurie Rodrigues (poor baby who always looks lost in a fog)

Best leghumping of 2018 goes to...(this is a tough one -- I'll let some one else pick the winner).

Best pictures of salads or comfort food that resembles cat hurl....toss up between Lori Alexander and Brother Gary.

 

Happy Friday, Y'all!  "Laissez les bon temps rouler!" 

 

[SongRed7]

21 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

Best leghumping of 2018 goes to...(this is a tough one -- I'll let some one else pick the winner).

A couple of ties:  Severine the white supremacist, Margaret Gordon (who has faded from sight a bit but always like to ask other women: "Are you a Christian??? WHY ARE YOU HERE?" ) or Cora Israel -- who also has been absent as of late. 

 

[TeddyBonkers]

I'm going to white knight for the tracking app. My MOM tracks my DAD on a tracking app. (Oh the humanity, pass the smelling salts, etc.) Dad used to drink a lot. He drove his truck into a ditch last summer and Mom was frantic. Dad was relatively unhurt, as was the truck, but Mom put a tracking app on his phone.

Oh, and Dad's been sober for 7 months now.

[Lisafer]

6 minutes ago, TeddyBonkers said:

I'm going to white knight for the tracking app. My MOM tracks my DAD on a tracking app. (Oh the humanity, pass the smelling salts, etc.) Dad used to drink a lot. He drove his truck into a ditch last summer and Mom was frantic. Dad was relatively unhurt, as was the truck, but Mom put a tracking app on his phone.

Oh, and Dad's been sober for 7 months now.

Well, that's definitely special circumstances. The spouse of an alcoholic may need more security in the form of a tracker. I hope that your dad never drinks and drives again. 

People can do whatever floats their boat in normal circumstances, as long as everybody's on board with it. I don't want my husband tracking me. I'm not going anywhere special, but I'm a private person. If I want to go to the donut place on my way to work, that's my business.

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

I think she was saying that tongue-in-cheek....she and the other one in that thread were playing with Lori (notice the Plexus reference and taking courtship pictures).   But Lori is too dense to know when people are trolls or playing with her.  I think Alyssa Roberts is one of those trolls who writes things "supporting" Lori in a hard line way, but if you look at their profiles, there is no way they support Lori/nor would Lori see them as "Godly" women.  

We could start a new game:  "Spot the troll"   LOL 

I thought troll with the Plexus and "ask me how" mentions.