Maxwell 28: You Can Leave Your Vest On!

[grammyj]

But the neighbour is never aknowleged, even a first name? Ok, a false name. Why are neighbours doing this? Do the Maxwells have friends? Did this said neighbour pay $$$$ for this shower? Food supplies and decorations? Enquiring minds want to know.

It would be nice though if Chelsy has made some friends outside of the family. I love her "spark" and hope it ignites the younger Maxells.  John was lucky to get her. And, wowsers, she csn cook!!!!

[mango_fandango]

The Maxwells always do that. When they went on their conferences they always talked about thanking the “B Family” or comments being from say Lisa N or whatever. 

 

[grammyj]

Yeah, but doing something like a shower. That could be more than just the B family who made them supper at a conference? It's usually family or very aclose friend who does a shower in my experience. Wait. Does that mean the Maxwells have real "friends" and not just humpers.

I'm going to finish laundry or watch some more Life in Pieces. Clearly, I have way too much time to be thinking about Maxhell. Though babywatch is in effect.

[SilverBeach]

On 1/23/2019 at 2:05 PM, daisyjane1234 said:

We here in Canada just don't understand the hang-ups Americans have about socialized medicine.  While our system certainly isn't perfect, citizens don't live in fear of health care bills and primary health care is available to all residents.

It's not us regular citizens that have hangups. We know the system is broken. It's the politicians and their rich friends who don't want to give up the money that is in profit-driven health care.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I am rather curious to know what they will name the baby. Once you get a name, you understand the naming taste of a person and it’s much easier to guess the names of the next kids. I have no idea if Chelsy is into naming babies after notable Christians (like her parents, if she likes only biblical names, or if she likes more trendy names. It’s easy to guess Jessa’s baby names because we knows Ben will want a famous Christian (no matter how odd it sounds) and Jessa prefers the more traditional names. 

 

[Lgirlrocks]

this is from the baby shower post. I wonder if Chelsea left out a question or if Teri just wanted to explain.

[DooDahDame]

Just my opinion, not meaning to offend mothers with young children (I have children but they are adults).

Why do the Maxgrands take over greeting, taking charge of games, listing gifts (I think Abby did this at a wedding shower) etc. I would think the bride or mother-to-be would enjoy the shower able to have adult conversations, nothing   racy, just normal adult conversations. It seems the grands take over the showers and bask in the compliments. If they want the younger children there, let them host a separate shower with appropriate games, snacks they made, etc. It seems the younger ones are used to be center stage. That’s normal for them. They seem to be the focus of all family gatherings.

When I am invited to a shower and know youngers will be participating I send my gift early or stop by on my way “somewhere” and leave my gift.

I do have the most wonderfully perfect grands (sometimes) myself, but they do not participate in adult activities like showers other than to say hello and then go to another part of the house with their own entertainment, or they stay home. (Coffees, luncheons, bridge games, etc. are adult only, unless those are geared for children, but mothers bring them anyway.)

sorry, just a pet peeve of mine 

[Ozlsn]

6 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

It's not us regular citizens that have hangups. We know the system is broken. It's the politicians and their rich friends who don't want to give up the money that is in profit-driven health care.

And the people who are convinced that universal healthcare leads to gun control. And nothing can be allowed to make that happen apparently.

[Melissa1977]

Regarding the baby shower. Yes, women in pants. Yes, people who weren't family members. But not a single young woman. Of course intergenerational relationships can be as good as same-age ones. But Chelsy has been living there for 1 whole year and hasn't met a friend her age? She had young friends in her hometown. I understand why is she constantly inviting her family or travelling. Life in that neirborhood must be dreadful.

[anjulibai]

I don't know. I've lived in my city for over 10 years now, and I don't have any friends here. Making friends as an adult is hard. 

[Sops2]

Join a choir  - find a social one and go singing, It's lots of fun - cake bakes, fancy dress nights, charity fundraisers, karaoke nights, concerts. Find the right choir and you'll really enjoy it. Look for ones with no audition- you don't have to be musical or be able to sing.   I don't!!

[OhNoNike]

2 hours ago, anjulibai said:

I don't know. I've lived in my city for over 10 years now, and I don't have any friends here. Making friends as an adult is hard. 

That is true. I moved into a new state but worked in my old state. I had work friends, but didn’t make any new friends around my home until I had kids (several years into living in the new state).  I think a lot was logistics - I was going to work a lot and coming home and not going out... and having kids forced me to be out and about where I ran into and met new people.  I didn’t even know my own neighbors for years. 

[bluelady]

7 hours ago, DooDahDame said:

Just my opinion, not meaning to offend mothers with young children (I have children but they are adults).

Why do the Maxgrands take over greeting, taking charge of games, listing gifts (I think Abby did this at a wedding shower) etc. I would think the bride or mother-to-be would enjoy the shower able to have adult conversations, nothing   racy, just normal adult conversations. It seems the grands take over the showers and bask in the compliments. If they want the younger children there, let them host a separate shower with appropriate games, snacks they made, etc. It seems the younger ones are used to be center stage. That’s normal for them. They seem to be the focus of all family gatherings.

When I am invited to a shower and know youngers will be participating I send my gift early or stop by on my way “somewhere” and leave my gift.

I do have the most wonderfully perfect grands (sometimes) myself, but they do not participate in adult activities like showers other than to say hello and then go to another part of the house with their own entertainment, or they stay home. (Coffees, luncheons, bridge games, etc. are adult only, unless those are geared for children, but mothers bring them anyway.)

sorry, just a pet peeve of mine 

I'm the mother of two young kids (4 and 15 months) and this drives me nuts!  If the kids wanted to do something special for Chelsy, they could have had a separate event (like Anna's kids did).  I don't mind kid friendly events (honestly, it makes it easier for me), but to me that means "Hey, bring the kids.  I'll have age appropriate snacks for them and well send them to the basement/family room/little Jimmy's room with some toys."  Not that the kids will take an active role in anything.

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 hours ago, DooDahDame said:

Just my opinion, not meaning to offend mothers with young children (I have children but they are adults).

Why do the Maxgrands take over greeting, taking charge of games, listing gifts (I think Abby did this at a wedding shower) etc. I would think the bride or mother-to-be would enjoy the shower able to have adult conversations, nothing   racy, just normal adult conversations. It seems the grands take over the showers and bask in the compliments. If they want the younger children there, let them host a separate shower with appropriate games, snacks they made, etc. It seems the younger ones are used to be center stage. That’s normal for them. They seem to be the focus of all family gatherings.

When I am invited to a shower and know youngers will be participating I send my gift early or stop by on my way “somewhere” and leave my gift.

I do have the most wonderfully perfect grands (sometimes) myself, but they do not participate in adult activities like showers other than to say hello and then go to another part of the house with their own entertainment, or they stay home. (Coffees, luncheons, bridge games, etc. are adult only, unless those are geared for children, but mothers bring them anyway.)

sorry, just a pet peeve of mine 

I think I just said this recently but in Maxhell, the world revolves around children. And I honestly think that was part of the problem with Teri for many years. She was the Martyr who basically had to sacrifice herself to homeschool her 8 kids and had nothing left for herself. Everything revolves around the children (and god of course). Things are still that way in Maxhell now that her kids are grown. Everything revolves around the grandchildren. But now Teri is probably happier because she can schedule her grandkid time each week and have plenty of time left over for herself.

When Teri wrote that horrible birthday message to Sarah, I wondered if it was because she resents Sarah never having to completely sacrifice herself to 8 kids. Maybe in Teri’s eyes, Sarah is lucky to have such a carefree life in her 20s and 30s. They aren’t filled with days of homeschool drudgery and sacrifice like Teri’s were. I wouldn’t be surprised if Teri thought her daughters should have to sacrifice just like she did. But now it’s too late for Sarah even if she gets married this year. Because she’s too old to have a large family and she’s already had plenty of time to enjoy life as an unmarried adult without children. Maybe Teri is jealous of Sarah’s freedom. God I can’t believe I just typed “Sarah’s freedom” when I’ve always felt she has the least freedom of any 37 year old I’ve ever met. Maxhell is fucking warped.

[MamaJunebug]

25 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think I just said this recently but in Maxhell, the world revolves around children. And I honestly think that was part of the problem with Teri for many years. She was the Martyr who basically had to sacrifice herself to homeschool her 8 kids and had nothing left for herself. Everything revolves around the children (and god of course). Things are still that way in Maxhell now that her kids are grown. Everything revolves around the grandchildren. But now Teri is probably happier because she can schedule her grandkid time each week and have plenty of time left over for herself.

When Teri wrote that horrible birthday message to Sarah, I wondered if it was because she resents Sarah never having to completely sacrifice herself to 8 kids. Maybe in Teri’s eyes, Sarah is lucky to have such a carefree life in her 20s and 30s. They aren’t filled with days of homeschool drudgery and sacrifice like Teri’s were. I wouldn’t be surprised if Teri thought her daughters should have to sacrifice just like she did. But now it’s too late for Sarah even if she gets married this year. Because she’s too old to have a large family and she’s already had plenty of time to enjoy life as an unmarried adult without children. Maybe Teri is jealous of Sarah’s freedom. God I can’t believe I just typed “Sarah’s freedom” when I’ve always felt she has the least freedom of any 37 year old I’ve ever met. Maxhell is fucking warped.

I wrote — or dreamed I did — this very concept. Sure, Sarah has missed out thus far on the fun of intimacy and she’s never had an apartment all her own, but she’s also traveled, done her photography, allegedly done bookkeeping for non-family businesses, developed a semi-discriminating palate for good coffee. There’s so much about her life they don’t tell.

It’s hard to know if anything is really truthful about Maxhell, but note that Sarah rarely pops up as the playful auntie tending to young children.  That might be because no one else takes photographs when PSarah puts the camera down, but it might also be that PSarah just isn’t that into kids. I love my Junior JBs endlessly but had they not come along, I wouldn’t have been seeking out a career as a teacher or otherwise filling my days with juveniles.

Terifying wrote somewhere that she wished she could have just filled the mommy role and not the teacher role.  Indeed, possibly she and PSarah are cut of the same cloth and Terifying does have some envy.

 

[MamaJunebug]

4 hours ago, Sops2 said:

Join a choir  - find a social one and go singing, It's lots of fun - cake bakes, fancy dress nights, charity fundraisers, karaoke nights, concerts. Find the right choir and you'll really enjoy it. Look for ones with no audition- you don't have to be musical or be able to sing.   I don't!!

At the risk of thread drift: I did join a choir, not so much for the social aspect but because the one I joined made SUCH gorgeous music and welcomed me sans audition. As it happened, there was a small cohort of singers (about 8 out of a choir of 60-some) who met up at a nearby pub to eat and drink after practice.  I gladly accepted the invitation once — looking back, I see now that I just didn’t want to, or have the energy to, put in the work needed to establish myself as a part of the group, so that’s partly why I’ve found it hard to make friends as an adult: it sounds good but I veg out. 

I’m not accusing others of this behavior! Just describing my own. 

I resigned from that group after a couple years because they sang every week and I couldn’t keep up. Found a smaller choir closer by with a bigger post-practice social set and less demanding schedule but then Older Brother JBug died and I just lost heart for everything. 

It’s  been several years now, hm! Maybe it’s time to go back. Thank you, FJ, for once again rustling the fallen leaves of my life & motivating me!!!

[anjulibai]

I think a lot of fundie families have the problem of everything revolving around children. It would seriously drive me nuts. I love my kids, but I need adult conversation. 

3 hours ago, OhNoNike said:

That is true. I moved into a new state but worked in my old state. I had work friends, but didn’t make any new friends around my home until I had kids (several years into living in the new state).  I think a lot was logistics - I was going to work a lot and coming home and not going out... and having kids forced me to be out and about where I ran into and met new people.  I didn’t even know my own neighbors for years. 

Yeah, having kids hasn't helped me, unfortunately. I think it's the area I live in - I really don't like it. Just her for my husband's job. ?

[HereticHick]

7 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Regarding the baby shower. Yes, women in pants. Yes, people who weren't family members. But not a single young woman. Of course intergenerational relationships can be as good as same-age ones. But Chelsy has been living there for 1 whole year and hasn't met a friend her age? She had young friends in her hometown. I understand why is she constantly inviting her family or travelling. Life in that neirborhood must be dreadful.

We can't judge Chelsy's entire social life by one event. We don't know if this is the only baby shower anyone had for her. We have no idea where she and John are going to church. I hope its not the church of the retirement home parlor.

[Jana814]

1 minute ago, HereticHick said:

We can't judge Chelsy's entire social life by one event. We don't know if this is the only baby shower anyone had for her. We have no idea where she and John are going to church. I hope its not the church of the retirement home parlor.

I think they attend the church in the nursing home. Teri comment on their anniversary post about seeing them in church that morning. 

[HereticHick]

1 minute ago, Jana814 said:

I think they attend the church in the nursing home. Teri comment on their anniversary post about seeing them in church that morning. 

ughh. poor things.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Luckily Chelsy has had a shit ton of similar aged house guests in the last year. So she’s not hurting for friends. And she leaves Maxhell a lot. She has a very active social life. 

[OhNoNike]

53 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

I think a lot of fundie families have the problem of everything revolving around children. It would seriously drive me nuts. I love my kids, but I need adult conversation.

Same. When I first had my oldest and was on maternity leave, I’d go to target just to see adults.

[Black Aliss]

14 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

this is from the baby shower post. I wonder if Chelsea left out a question or if Teri just wanted to explain.

I think Teri wasn't aware there's a more conventional spelling of Chelsy. To her the commenter has the exotic spelling.

[PennySycamore]

1 hour ago, Black Aliss said:

I think Teri wasn't aware there's a more conventional spelling of Chelsy. To her the commenter has the exotic spelling.

It's weird that Teri would not realize that Chelsea is the more common spelling of the name and Chelsy is the uncommon one.  It seems that we had a First Daughter  about 20 years ago that spelled her name Chelsea.  (Btw, that Chelsea just announced that she and husband Mark are having their third baby.)  And now the song that inspired Chelsea Clinton's name:

I have to admit as much as I love Joni's performance here,  the Sergio Mendes and Brasil '66 version will always be my favorite.

[Black Aliss]

14 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

It's weird that Teri would not realize that Chelsea is the more common spelling of the name and Chelsy is the uncommon one.  It seems that we had a First Daughter  about 20 years ago that spelled her name Chelsea.  

I agree, It's weird but Clinton was elected in 1992, served two terms, so (I refuse to spend enough time thinking about the Sacred Scrotum to figure out what year the reversal took place) perhaps Teri was in the throes of PPD or PrePD, thinking about the blessings to come, and had no idea what was going on in the country. Or Steve had instituted his "no news" policy so even if she did know the name of the first daughter she wouldn't have had any idea how it was spelled. I dunno, it's all too weird for me.