Maxwell 28: You Can Leave Your Vest On!

[Aithuia]

18 hours ago, kpmom said:

Melanie and Nathan are dressing alike 'a la Teri and Steve, in that first picture on the anniversary post.  Is this becoming a thing in Maxworld?

I may be wrong, but that photo looks like it was taken during the annual big family photo session, and I think that they make an effort to coordinate outfits for that. I'm going to have hope for Melanie's ruffles and eye-traps yet. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

19 hours ago, johnhugh said:

It seems the dressing the same is becoming  more regular. Maybe a bloke tried to pull Teri in a shop, or a women flirted with Nate in restaurant and this is to tell the world they are couples hence security issues - to add to a very long list of other issues!

Or some stuff was in sale at Costco and they bought clothes in bulk.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Well, I was hoping for a birth announcement but just got a chance to buy storybooks and make the Maxwells more able to buy burrito filling. Or do you think they won't interrupt the "flow" of scheduled blog posts for a mere birth announcement? Not like it's shots of the crews or anything.

[Black Aliss]

On 1/27/2019 at 10:49 AM, SilverBeach said:

ITA, it's the problem with church prayer chains and solicitations for donated leave at work. Just too much personal information has to be revealed, much more than I'm comfortable with. Scamaritan probably considers these newsletter as prayer requests too. Ugh.

Where I work HR requests for donated vacation time (can't donate sick time) for someone who has maxed out their own sick leave and vacation are confidential on both sides. Although I'm sure the people on the recipient's team  have a good idea who the request is for.

[CyborgKin]

On 1/25/2019 at 3:55 AM, Black Aliss said:

The last time I was in New Orleans I noticed a few restaurants in the French Quarter had replaced their bowl of mints near the door with a bowl of condoms.

I'm torn between two responses.

1: "Now where do they get mints?"

2: "Wait, what were they using those mints for?"

On 1/28/2019 at 5:09 AM, AllisonWndrland said:

Slightly off-topic, but I finally finished Sarah's latest book. I haven't had time to write a proper review but suffice to say that story is weird from the first word. It meanders through to an ending that feels rushed and makes little sense in terms of how people genuinely interact in the world. Shades of gray do not exist in Hill Top. All adults are caricatures of "bad" people or "good" people, and if it hasn't happened to Sarah, she can't imagine it enough to write about it. 

Colour me unsurprised.  Sad, but unsurprised.

And I wouldn't consider Sarah's writing endeavours at all off-topic.

[nastyhobbitses]

On 1/27/2019 at 6:53 PM, ViolaSebastian said:

In my experience, church prayer chains can be a straight up way to gossip about somebody. It's not gossip if you're praying for them!  

But you can use it to your advantage. Get a trusted friend or family member to put forth a really outrageous prayer request on your behalf, one that clearly isn't true, and people's reactions/who spreads it around should pretty easily flush out who's been talking shit. 

[PennySycamore]

Our heat is out today and, though it's not THAT cold here in South Carolina, it's not exactly warm either.  It's 42 outside after a low of 22 and the house is 61.  I did think about wearing my down vest for extra warmth like the Maxwells but settled on a zip-front hoodie instead.  I'll wear my down vest when I venture outside.  

[thoughtful]

23 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

On 1/24/2019 at 11:55 AM, Black Aliss said:

The last time I was in New Orleans I noticed a few restaurants in the French Quarter had replaced their bowl of mints near the door with a bowl of condoms.

I'm torn between two responses.

1: "Now where do they get mints?"

2: "Wait, what were they using those mints for?"

I was thinking "Don't people need both?" If your breath smells bad, you may not need the condom.

[Black Aliss]

14 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I was thinking "Don't people need both?" If your breath smells bad, you may not need the condom.

They* have tested those little bowls of mints (not the individually wrapped ones, the chalky pastel ones that you would otherwise associate with Maxwell bridal showers) and found traces of urine and fecal coliform on them. Same is true** for the candied fennel seeds offered at South Asian restaurants.

At least garlic breath won't kill you.

*No, I have no idea who "they" are, although one report cites Montreal health inspectors, who now mandate that complimentary mints be indiviually wrapped.

**For some value of true, possibly Giuliani-true.

[JermajestyDuggar]

24 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

They* have tested those little bowls of mints (not the individually wrapped ones, the chalky pastel ones that you would otherwise associate with Maxwell bridal showers) and found traces of urine and fecal coliform on them. Same is true** for the candied fennel seeds offered at South Asian restaurants.

At least garlic breath won't kill you.

*No, I have no idea who "they" are, although one report cites Montreal health inspectors, who now mandate that complimentary mints be indiviually wrapped.

**For some value of true, possibly Giuliani-true.

Any bowl with small pieces of food that are expected to be picked up with your hand will always have traces of pee and poop and other bodily fluids. That’s why I always put a spoon in the dish when hosting a party.

[ViolaSebastian]

Gaaak. Gaaaaaaak. I know it's true because people in general suck at washing their hands well or at all, but gaaaaak. My thing is taking cell phones into the bathroom. Yes, you washed your hands, but your phone is probably contaminated too and then you're touching it and gaaaaak.

[HereticHick]

I kinda want to hear the "Daddy on His Knees" song that Sarah mentions in this post: https://blog.titus2.com/2019/02/01/the-2500-blog-post-celebration-giveaway/  

But I can't stop thinking impure thoughts about it.

[Elegant Mess]

I'm a bit surprised that there isn't more Maxwell family merchandise in their 2500-blog-post giveaway.  Who wouldn't jump at the chance to win a free copy of Making Great Conversationalists? 

[AllisonWndrland]

Is that 2500 blog posts before or after scrubbing the blog for worldly women who call off weddings? 

[HereticHick]

51 minutes ago, AllisonWndrland said:

Is that 2500 blog posts before or after scrubbing the blog for worldly women who call off weddings? 

Yessss!  Is the 2500 number net or gross, Sarah?

 

By the way, this is the "Henry and the Great Society" book that Sarah is giving away: https://www.amazon.com/Henry-Great-Society-H-Roush/dp/0892930489

I wonder if the Maxwell School of the Dining Room Table covered LBJ's Great Society.

[Lisafer]

On 1/27/2019 at 12:09 PM, AllisonWndrland said:

"Sacred Scrotum"...I can't unread that. 

That is a really lovely photo of Melanie in the anniversary post. Jewel tones and purple and magentas are flattering shades for her. 

Slightly off-topic, but I finally finished Sarah's latest book. I haven't had time to write a proper review but suffice to say that story is weird from the first word. It meanders through to an ending that feels rushed and makes little sense in terms of how people genuinely interact in the world. Shades of gray do not exist in Hill Top. All adults are caricatures of "bad" people or "good" people, and if it hasn't happened to Sarah, she can't imagine it enough to write about it. 

I need to know what the tragic event was that made the little girl decide never to forgive her aunt! Spoilers please, if you have time!

[punkiepie]

It really irked me on the 2500 post when Sarah wrote "Our family almost tripled in size, from 11 people to 28, but really 29, as we count Melanie’s baby due in May (and with Susannah, we’d have 30)."

Like, it seems perfectly normal to count the unborn fetus in their official count, but Susannah, who was born, lived and breathed and died, is an afterthought. It should be the other way around- "we have 29 with baby Susannah and it will be 30 when Melanie's baby is born."  It makes me ragey when fundies are all about protecting the fetus but have zero fucks to give about the babies once they are born. 

[Dark Matters]

From the contest post:

"Just Around the Corner: Volume 1 – Almost 400 pages of practical little nuggets for dads and moms written when my parents were in the trenches homeschooling their kids. These are bite-size encouragement, for just that few minutes you have free–say when brushing your teeth? "

I don't know anyone who read books while they're brushing their teeth.  However, I'm sure there are many who read while taking a dump.  Guess they don't do that in Maxhell.

[SPHASH]

Poor Sarah gets kicked in the head again.  Since the blog started five reversal homeschool graduations, four sons buy house debt free with three of them marrying and spawning.  Not a single personal accomplishment for her and no, writing self published books do not count.

[Black Aliss]

On 1/27/2019 at 10:09 AM, AllisonWndrland said:

"Sacred Scrotum"...I can't unread that. 

Sorry. I'll extend my stay in the prayer closet, if you like.

Quote

Slightly off-topic, but I finally finished Sarah's latest book. I haven't had time to write a proper review but suffice to say that story is weird from the first word. It meanders through to an ending that feels rushed and makes little sense in terms of how people genuinely interact in the world. Shades of gray do not exist in Hill Top. All adults are caricatures of "bad" people or "good" people, and if it hasn't happened to Sarah, she can't imagine it enough to write about it. 

Well, shoot. If I wanted my kids to have literature where characters are either wholly good or wholly evil, with the exception of a good child who makes a bad choice, but learns from that, I'd buy them the entire Redwall series by Brian Jacques, and expose them to some seriously good writing to make up for the formulaic theme and morally binary characters. Wait. I did do that.

I once attended a book reading by Brian Jacques and he explained why his characters were either good (typically the herbivores) or bad (the carnivores) as being appropriate for the target audience and how he would never write a book that included a hero with a heart of darkness.

[Lisafer]

6 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Poor Sarah gets kicked in the head again.  Since the blog started five homeschool graduations, four sons buy house debt free with three of them marrying and spawning.  Not a single personal accomplishment for her and no, writing self published books do not count.

Eh, I say writing self-published books counts for something. Even though they're terribly written. She's patient and persistent, I'll give her that. All the boys had to do as far as "spawning" was make a sperm deposit. 

[Palimpsest]

4 hours ago, HereticHick said:

kinda want to hear the "Daddy on His Knees" song that Sarah mentions in this post: https://blog.titus2.com/2019/02/01/the-2500-blog-post-celebration-giveaway/  

But I can't stop thinking impure thoughts about it.

It is probably this one.  What a gift to parody!

I'm afraid this

version is quite pure but I'm sure we can come up with a dirty version.

On His Knees 

Her father's not respected, on Free Jinger he's not praised 
Folks know that he's controlling , he makes sure they know  he's saved 
To Sarah, he is a giant, dad stands at 5 foot 8*. 
But her dad is always boring, and he's really not that great. 

Chorus 
'Cause on his knees, he fights the battles, with the devil Herself 
And on his knees, he and Jebus, suffocate the family 
All the things that he shows us ever live in our memories
But the one thing we remember most, is Stevehovah on his knees 

He stands by what he believes in, he edits comments on his blog 
But he always keeps on fighting, FJ he wants to flog 
He never was a hero, from the World he tries to flee 
And we see a side of Stevie that his family can't see.

*estimated, but he's not very tall.

 

[socalrules]

So I clicked on the link to one of their most popular blog posts about simple ideas for homeschooling moms. Am I the only one who is shocked by the picture of the burritos? I am so stupid because I thought they were freezing hefty burritos like you get at a Mexican restaurant. Their burritos look tiny. I would make something like that from leftovers when there is only enough left for a snack. I am hoping that each person doesn’t just get one of those burritos. I would have to have at least four. Admittedly, I am a bean and cheese burrito addict. I also don’t get why they can’t just freeze the beans and make the burritos themselves on the day they are going to eat them. They would taste so much better. I would also hate to have to open them up to add the sour cream. I hate re-rolling burritos.

Anyway, can I enter the contest by saying I am thankful for Titus2 because it makes me appreciate my family and childhood more since I could have been born a Maxwell and had my spirit broken? I would have died if my beloved Dodger baseball was taken away from me since sports are so bad in their world. 

[Granwych]

5 hours ago, Elegant Mess said:

I'm a bit surprised that there isn't more Maxwell family merchandise in their 2500-blog-post giveaway.  Who wouldn't jump at the chance to win a free copy of Making Great Conversationalists? 

Remember that the Maxwell's rarely if ever give much away that's worth having.  

The only Maxwell hot air worth having is what's in their balloon animals.

[Granwych]

6 hours ago, AllisonWndrland said:

Is that 2500 blog posts before or after scrubbing the blog for worldly women who call off weddings? 

You mean women who come to their damn senses in the nick of time.