Lori Alexander 60: Queen of Woo

[wallysmommy]

On the Satan post today, I am so tempted to use my alias and just post, "Dear Church Lady, could it be Saaatan?"  Satan doesn't control everything.  We are still agents of free will.  You're giving him way too much credit.

Yes, I believe there are evil forces at work, but her bandying about that satan causes people to do everything she disagrees with is ludicrous.  If we go down that path, Satan would be the father of pride and control, since he challenged God.  That's Lori's personality also.  So, who best meets that profile -- a working mom trying to feed her family, or someone who is prideful leading others astray?

[lilwriter85]

The fangirls always go for the excuse about two income families working for stuff. Yeah, families do work for stuff which could be food, money for the bills, household needs, and insurance needs.

[lilwriter85]

Lori replies to the comment with a blog link about Laine's letters.  Some of Laine's tips are good, but they can't work for everyone. You can save up and cut expenses, but shit happens in life. 

A year or two ago, I remember a fangirl posting about how she and her husband couldn't get an affordable mortgage on one income.  Lori didn't reply to that fangirl back then. 

I bet the "my husband works multiple jobs" fangirls will comment at some point today.  

 

 

[Lgirlrocks]

I don’t get it. Why would you want your husband to work himself to death just so you can stay home? If you can afford it on one income and want to stay home then great. But why have your husband work a bunch of jobs and not get to see his family or always be tired so you can stay home? 

When I worked at chick fil a we had a lot of moms that did catering, while there kids were in school. Why couldn’t they do that? Or even work part time on the weekends to help out? Helping out financially is still being a helpmeet  and you can still be a keeper of the home too. 

[klein_roeschen]

There are many more reasons a mother is working besides the point that her husband isn't earning enough and there's nothing wrong with that. If she's working so that her partner can work less and also enjoy their children or that yes, they want a bigger house, so that every child has their own room and they have vacations and field trips and so on. For me, that's  more valid reasons than insisting on staying home with the kids because god/ bible/ Lori while barely scrapping by and denying your kids every small wish because no money.

[wallysmommy]

My next bingo card will be focused on her hypocrisy.  Let's start with her touting Laine's strategy.  She fails and #1 and #2.  She has basically said she doesn't believe in tithing and she certainly doesn't appear to give to the poor, except to give poor advice.  

[Lgirlrocks]

Lori says the devil hates marriage and wants young people to be single. Off all the things for the devil to hate. 

To quote Paul, Lori’s favorite person.  This is 1 Corinthians 7:

6 I say this as a concession, not as a command.q 7 I wish that all of you were as I am.r But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.s

8 Now to the unmarrieda and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.t 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,u for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 

Paul knew that marriage was hard and not for everyone. Was this the devil speaking through him? 

[ViolaSebastian]

Someone pops in to tell Lori that her 3-year-old has asked Jesus to live in his heart. Sweet, adorable, right? No.

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That's wonderful! But there is no verse in the Bible that tells us to ask Jesus into our hearts. This was very confusing to me as a child. I asked Him in multiple times because I wasn't sure He heard me or that He came in. The Bible makes it very simple. We must BELIEVE in Him to be saved. "And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house." (Acts 16:31)

He's three, bitch. Three. And A+ for making every damn thing about yourself. 

[lilwriter85]

33 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

My next bingo card will be focused on her hypocrisy.  Let's start with her touting Laine's strategy.  She fails and #1 and #2.  She has basically said she doesn't believe in tithing and she certainly doesn't appear to give to the poor, except to give poor advice.  

I thought the same thing about Lori not following the tithing advice.  She probably didn't follow some of the other tips. 

[lilwriter85]

This woman is right. If major shit happens to Lori, she won't have the tools to get by. 

 

 

[SweetLaurel]

1 hour ago, Lgirlrocks said:

8 Now to the unmarrieda and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do.t 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,u for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 

Paul knew that marriage was hard and not for everyone. Was this the devil speaking through him? 

Weird.    Lori told me - as a young widow with kids to go hang out at church and date every available man till I found one I could marry so I could stay home with them.  Does she not read her Bible?  (I already had a job, but really.)   And I was SO excited about bringing a slew of strange men home to my pre teen daughter and son!   How could that possibly go wrong!   

[Lgirlrocks]

Dear Lori, I know it’s hard to understand this but not every young single person is having sex. And even if they are it’s none of your business. No where in that passage does it say you can only stay single if you are living a holy life. 

Unlike you most people want to wait to marry until they find someone they love enough to marry. 

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I don’t get it. Why would you want your husband to work himself to death just so you can stay home? If you can afford it on one income and want to stay home then great. But why have your husband work a bunch of jobs and not get to see his family or always be tired so you can stay home? 

When I worked at chick fil a we had a lot of moms that did catering, while there kids were in school. Why couldn’t they do that? Or even work part time on the weekends to help out? Helping out financially is still being a helpmeet  and you can still be a keeper of the home too. 

From what I've seen/read, the fangirls pretty much view men as monetary providers and women are the ones to be at home with the kids even if means the husband has to work more than one job so the family can make ends meet. 

Lori hates mothers who work part time outside the home. There was an incident where a woman posted about how her husband was working a commission based pay job and they had been struggling. The woman said she was working like 18 hours a week outside the home to help with expenses.. Lori basically said that she shouldn't be working at all outside the home and to pray and get help from the church.  She had issues with a Christian blogger who is a part time pharmacist and a male blogger whose wife was doing part time or per diem nursing jobs. 

[ViolaSebastian]

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1 ~ Tithe the first of our income ~ as soon as it comes in. 

If you’re Christian, this is part of belonging to a congregation. However, even though it’s something to budget for, it is not, in fact, a way to save money—quite the opposite. So 10% gone. You can come at me about God being happy about it and providing for you in other ways because you tithed, but I’m just going to go with “not a way to save money.”

2 ~ Give to the poor and those that are in need every month, as well as the spreading of the gospel. 

            I support the idea of giving to those who are less fortunate and giving to charities. I appreciate people who do it and think they’re great. But again, this isn’t a way to save money. And if you’re having to use those charities because you’re so poor you need help, it doesn’t really make sense to give to that charity at the same time you need that charity.

3 ~ Pay back all our debts. We paid more on the principal every month to get the house loan paid off quicker. We also pay our taxes and have the money ready when it is required.

 This is a hot take, but again, you need to have money to be able to do this. In most cases and for most Americans, paying off debt is going to take years. I have one debt—student loan—that I’m working my ass off to pay. But it’s slow going. Add that most Americans have a car payment, student loan debt, credit card debt, mortgage, etc., this tip is a good one, but also a long-term one. Also, paying more than the principal on a loan requires you have money to do so in the first place. Yes, you’re saving long-term, but short-term, that’s money going out of the budget to pay more.

4 ~ Save, save, save. Every paycheck, I do my best to put a little away. Even if it is only a little, it is a savings. We have a savings account, a retirement account where a sum is taken out of my husband's salary each month, and an emergency account for emergencies. 

So not one, not two, but three savings accounts to funnel money into? Again, gotta have money to do this in the first place. I support everyone having an emergency fund, but you have to, you know, have money to put into it. And if comes down to “kids need food” versus “emergency fund,” the kids win every. single. time.

5 ~ A good budget is a necessity.  {Then she has a Yearly Budget and a Bare Bones Budget in case her husband became ill or hurt.}

This is a good tip, but it brings up a good point. What happens if the sole provider of a family gets ill or hurt?

6 ~ A Freedom Account is something I learned from Mary Hunt years ago. I take my yearly expenses and divide that amount by twelve, then I know how much has to go into my Freedom Account each month for these yearly expenses when they crop up.

Again, a great idea, but more of a way to manage money rather than save it.

7 ~ I do my best to keep our electrical and water bills as low as possible. When we were in an electrical crisis and our bill tripled overnight, we went into a very small, hip high refrigerator with no freezer and shut down our water heater. ...We had to heat our water to bathe and to wash dishes. It was rough for awhile, but I was able to keep us on our budget. {She admits that they had to truly sacrifice to get out of debt and this is an example of a sacrifice they made, no hot running water for a time.}

Hey, finally, a tip to actually save money. Cutting off hot running water is pretty extreme, however. It also strikes me that this was more *her* sacrifice, being that she’s the one who is doing the cleaning and bathing the kids and doing the laundry, and now, as an added chore, heating up hot water on the stove, but okay. Also, my water heater is on gas and it would cost me more to shut it down and use electricity to heat water.

8 ~ I keep our telephone bill at $25 a month or lower. The way I've been able to do that is by using a phone card from Costco for long distance calling...We call my mother-in-law weekly and a few other calls during the month, but mostly we write letters or email. {Today, with iPhone, it makes having a phone ridiculously expensive! I have lived 55 years without an iPhone and I am sure you can to if you wanted to in order to get out of debt.}

Hey, this was a great tip in 1999. And yes, Lori, Iphones are expensive. But do you know what I must have for work? A smart phone. Additionally, I have no land line. So again, I need a cell phone.

9 ~ I save a lot of money on food by cooking from scratch and by continuing to try new recipes in my kitchen.  I pray before I shop, while I shop, and then after I shop as to what I will cook. I love shopping with the Lord!

We talk a lot about the time commitment that making EVERYTHING from scratch takes. Also, there are times where I find it’s MORE expensive. I made Christmas cookies and candy and honestly, it would have been cheaper to buy pre-made than to make them. Also, the Lord is a dick who insists on hanging off the back of the grocery trolley.

10 ~ Savings must be like a bill that you pay. 

See step four. We’re only ten steps in and one is already a repeat.

11 ~ An emergency savings is good to have in your house for emergencies. 

See step four. We’re only 11 steps in and two are already repeats.

12 ~ I read Christian finance books frequently.

Okay? Cool story, bro, but not actually a way to save money.

13 ~ We don't have any cable, so we don't get much reception. But I figure we have saved approximately $6000 in the past 17 years living without cable. {You could save a lot more than that these days!}

This is a good tip to save money, if you’re one of the dwindling numbers of Americans who actually have cable television. A better tip would be to cut out Netflix or Hulu, but when you’re on a budget, these are both great resources for very low cost entertainment and access to children’s shows when mama needs to have a meltdown because she’s boiling bathwater on the stove.

14 ~ We also do not have Internet access. Whenever we need to use the Internet, I use it at the library for free.

Again, see above about low-cost entertainment—I can’t quit you, Lori. I also need the Internet for my EBIL JORB and watching Netflix and pretty much anything else.

15 ~ I try to keep us as healthy as possible by good food with quality ingredients.  Time is money. What we do with our time results in how our money is spent, one way or another.

Trying to stay healthy in general is a great tip, but not every illness and malady is going to be preventable by buying “quality ingredients.” Also, “quality ingredients” cost money. *cough* $14 butter.

16 ~ It's so true that if you waste not, you want not. I'm always looking for ways to stretch something a little farther. 

This is actually a good tip—but are there people out there not finishing their toothpaste or shampoo all the way already?

17 ~ I've learned to be very thankful and content. 

I think this is a good tip as well. I’m guilty of buying purchases to “keep up the Joneses.” Working on being content with what I have is part of my strategy, but so is recognizing that some purchases are necessities.

18 ~ I often tell my kids, "it's not the amount of money that comes in, rather how it goes out that counts." 

I mean, that’s a great thing to teach kids, but it’s also not a money-saving tip.

19 ~ My  husband and I have an allowance each week.

Again, it’s great to have a budget, but also, this is not really a money-saving tip so much as a money-management tip. And I’m willing to guess that mama’s allowance is the first one sacrificed when money needs to be pulled to other areas.

20 ~ We saved a lot of money and time by allowing our kids to be involved in mostly music and church. My older son teaches piano, so this has paid many of his bills. His piano lessons were a wonderful investment.

Limiting the activities kids are involved in is a way to save money. It’s interesting that despite the tight budget, her son (and it appears to be only her son?) got to take piano lessons. I would worry about my kids not being involved in enrichment activities, though, for a lot of reasons.

21 ~ One of my best saving money secrets is to just stay home. 

Well, that is one way to save money. Stick around and enjoy your home with no Internet, no streaming, no enrichment activities for the kids, no Smart Phone, and no hot water.

22 ~ As I mentioned before, I use my allowance for gift buying. 

And there it is. Mama’s allowance is used to buy Christmas and birthday presents. What is daddy’s used for, exactly?

23 ~ My husband and I have never been able to afford going out on dates, or going away alone for the weekend. Our time together has always been our morning coffee chat every day. And since we could not afford going away for the weekend, I made our bedroom as romantic as possible.

“Stop going out on dates” or “stop going away for the weekend” makes the big assumption that people with kids are doing a lot of this kind of thing. That hasn’t been what I’ve observed with friends with kids. Also, dates don’t have to cost an arm and a leg.

24 ~ I nursed all of our children for a year each. This was a big savings since we have four children, yet it was not easy for me. But I had to do it, for we simply could not afford formula. I only had one side that worked, so the doctor told me to nurse on that one side. I was up every two to three hours with all of my children, because I only had one side to give them. I prayed, I cracked, I prayed, I cried, I prayed, I was exhausted, I prayed, and I had numerous breast infections with each one of them. I prayed and prayed for God's help and strength. He did indeed help me, because I wanted to give up over and over again.

What. The. Fuck. That is horrible to read about; I can’t imagine going through it. There’s a mental health component to having what sounds like near-constant issues with nursing—and for a whole year! In any case, the obvious question here is, “what does a woman do when she can’t breastfeed?”

25 ~ We try to keep things running with good maintenance. 

This is actually a good tip. A+.

26 ~ Many times we must wait on the Lord for something and pray. We have waited on the Lord many times during a crisis.

I’m not sure how this is a money-saving tip, because “wait on the Lord” really isn’t an answer to “Susie has strep throat” or “Daddy’s truck has a flat he can’t patch” or “We need food.”

27 ~ I am learning that organization saves time and money. 

I think this is a good tip, but I don’t feel like it’ll save the amount of money needed to stay home because you didn’t accidentally buy two bottles of marjoram.

28 ~ "Use it up" or "wear it out" or "make do." 

Hot take.

29 ~ I've cut our hair for twenty years. Incredible savings here.

This is a good tip, but holy crap, have you seen the haircuts on Ben Seewald and Derick Dillard? I’m also confused who cuts Mama’s hair if Mama is the hair stylist. Additionally, this requires some money up front for trimmers and Flobees and watever else you need to cut hair.

30 ~ We've never paid for a babysitter. I know that's hard to believe, but we never have. We've either swapped babysitting, had my folks babysit for special occasions, or we didn't go.

If you’re not ever going out on dates with the husband, is this really a money-saving tip?

31 ~ We buy our clothes at thrift shops or garage sales or on sale at the stores.

A good tip. A+. I have difficulty finding clothes that work for me at thrift shops and garage sales (short in general and short torso), but I am trying this. I shopped sales before I buckled down, too, however.

32 ~ I've been the family photographer for years. 

“Don’t get family portraits.” Done. Screw actually wanting to be in the shots with your family, however.

33~ We have used a credit card most of our married life, but we have never paid an interest charge on anything we've charged. 

Not using credit cards or paying them off monthly is a good tip. A+.

34~ My wedding ring has been broken for three years now {diamond fell out}. But I'd rather see the house paid off, so I've been waiting patiently. On Valentine's Day, Art bought me an old fashioned silver ring to put in place of my wedding ring until we can afford to fix it. There have been so many things like that. Our CD player has been broken for over a year. Our television was broken, so we used this little one in its place.

Waaaait, what happened to maintenance keeps stuff running and if it doesn’t daddy’ll fix it?

35~ Last year the dentist told me that Abbie had a problematic tooth which wouldn't come out without going to an oral surgeon. As I mentioned before, we don't have dental insurance. So Art told Abbie he would give her $10 if she got that tooth out. I prayed and prayed, while she pried and poked at that tooth all summer. Finally, at the end of the summer, she got the tooth out! I'll never forget how excited we were. Now she has to have orthodontist work, but we have been praying and saving. 

What the actual fuck is this? Your kid pulled at her tooth all summer until it came out so you can save money?! I am horrified.

36~ We wash our own cars. 

I never wash my car. Money. Saved.

37~ I love to learn, so I am always learning whenever the opportunity. I have attended many classes on different subjects over the years to help me be better at my job. Some were free or near free, but so helpful. Like my photography class. I took it at night when I had two children and was pregnant with my third. 

I’m all for education. A+.

38~ I learned to plant or transplant flowers or plants. This helps in saving money in the garden.

This is a great tip if you have a garden. A+.

39~ We have built up a family library.

I feel like “get a library card and use it” would be a better tip.

40~ I've learned to spend according to what comes in, not what is projected.

Good tip. A+.

41 ~ Don't compare yourself. I've found this can be costly. So I just stay in my budget with my man. It's cheaper and so much more peaceful.

Easy to do when you stay home all the time.

42~ Find one used if possible. 

Good tip. A+

43~ Wait patiently when there is a need to see how God will provide. 

I think this is a good tip for things that are non-emergencies. It’s not my jam to wait on God, but that’s great.

44~ We couldn't afford private, Christian school for our kids, so I homeschooled all of them. I've been doing it for the past 14 years, having graduated two of our children. This was a big savings here, and I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat. No, not for the savings either. But it sure did help us to pay off our house. I always had the kids helping us pay off the house. Quincy kept bees and a big garden. Brady kept the chickens and goats. Now the roles are switched, and Abbie keeps the goats, while Gabe takes care of the chickens and fruit trees. Gabe wants to make a garden with his dad this summer. I love to keep my kids motivated in helping their dad financially by all their work around here. It makes us such a good team. 

                        I’m not going to belabor this by going into how homeschooling is not a great choice for everyone, but it does make me sad that she cites that the kids helped pay the house off because they were working instead of being in school as a reason why homeschooling is so great.

45~ Every little bit does count. Say for example, you learn as I did that you can use half as much clothing detergent and just set your washer cycle to agitate a little longer. Not more water, just more agitation to get the clothes cleaner. Or you can soak your clothes overnight in the washer, then start the load the next morning with half as much detergent than you usually use.

I like the idea of this in general. The whole detergent thing wouldn’t work for me because I use washers that are in my apartment complex’s laundry room, so leaving things over night, changing the cycles, etc. isn’t going to work for me. But I am guilty of using too much of products when “a little dab would do me.”

46~ Pray, pray, pray. I pray beforehand, during, and after.

Great. But not a money saving tip.

47~ We don't change cars very often. We keep our cars for a long time. 

Hey, this is a good tip. I would be scared shitless to be stranded with my kids on the side of a highway, though. I guess that’s where #46 comes in.

48~ We do not withdraw money without the other's knowledge. So I don't have to worry about an ATM withdrawal that my husband made without my knowing, thereby putting our account into jeopardy if I was to write a check thinking that money was in there. We work together as a team. We also do not make any singular purchases over $50 without the other's prior knowledge and consent. This has served us well. So I've never had a check bounce. 

Communicating with a spouse about money is a great tip. I do feel like having to check in with a spouse before withdrawing money or purchasing something could easily be abused by one of the partners.

49~ Our children get one big birthday party during their growing up. Otherwise, it is a family birthday party. This saves so much money and stress. Plus that one party is a lot of fun, since we only do it once in their childhood. Quincy had his at 18, Brady had his at 16, and I think Abbie is shooting for hers at 16 as well. Gabe is still up in the air about his. We really enjoy our family parties and make a big deal about the cake. They will spend days choosing their cake, especially when they were young.

Sad.

50~ I just thank the LORD for all I have. 

Okay, we’ve done that in several other tips, thank you.

I'm currently on a major mission to pay off my student loan debt, and I decided to look at the link that Lori posts whenever a woman says she needs to work instead of stay home. I'm sure Laine is a lovely woman, but her tips range from unhelpful to freaking horrifying. I condensed the list and put my commentary, if anyone is interested. How Lori expects these tips to save enough money for someone to be a stay-at-home-mom is honestly beyond me. 

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

I don’t get it. Why would you want your husband to work himself to death just so you can stay home?

Lori's fangirls eat this idea up. From M:

"My young son is learning to be a man and as I type learning to check the oil out in the cold gas station with Daddy while my daughter and I stay warm in the car."

Mom and daughter are pampered delicate kittens who have the privilege to stay in the car. That's what this is about isn't it? It's not about being a godly woman. Its about women of a certain tax bracket trying to justify doing absolutely nothing while their husbands do all the heavy lifting, so to speak. And it's not enough for these women to stay in their own lane either. They have to tear down any woman who has the audacity to work for themselves and make these godly women look bad. Tessie says:

"I saw a program recently on women truck drivers. Such a mucky job! Doing extremely long hours, away from family, doing repairs etc. Saying stuff like why can’t women do this job. Well, you are hardly going to get a godly man if you behave like this!"

[SongRed7]

Basically Lori  has issues with every single woman who didn’t exactly.like.her.   She also disagrees regularly with those who also agree with her.  She’s basically disagreeable.  

 

Did yiu call catch catch her comment on her doodle from yesterday about how she got up at 2:30 am to impart her wisdom!?!? WTF??

[lilwriter85]

Comment from a fangirl and Lori's reply.  They don't consider that illness and disability can happen to good hard working men.  The fangirl's comment to Lori about couples working as a team isn't something that applies to Lori. I don't Lori and Ken ever tried to meet each other halfway in their early years of marriage. Ken had money concerns which Lori didn't give a shit about. 

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It’s tough when a wife can’t count on or trust her husband. I’ve read many posts here and living a life like this is impossible. Women are forced to financially take care of themselves and her children because the husband doesn’t want to be committed to or take responsibility for taking care of his family. Or they withold fiances or threaten to withold. There are women who take advantage of men financially so it’s hard for men to trust too. There’s no coming together or working together as a team. No goal setting or being on the same page. Divorces are a result of financial abuse and keeping things separate. Separate bank accounts and separate earnings lead to divorces.

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The Transformed Wife This is why it's so important to teach young women before they are married to prepare themselves to be godly help meets and make sure they only marry godly men who are willing to work hard and provide for their families.

 

 

[klein_roeschen]

That's so Lori posting such tips out of her McMansion with her housekeeper. Lori and heating bathing water on the stove for the family? Or keeping a veggie garden and lifestock for the family? Buy her clothing in a thriftstore or wear a brocken wedding ring? If he would dare to suggest that she would tear him a new one.

[SuperNova]

29 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

It’s tough when a wife can’t count on or trust her husband. I’ve read many posts here and living a life like this is impossible. Women are forced to financially take care of themselves and her children because the husband doesn’t want to be committed to or take responsibility for taking care of his family. Or they withold fiances or threaten to withold.

Speaking of withholding finances and responsibility, Gil, a commentor on Lori's blog, doesn't think men should get legally married. 

"Side note you may find interesting: there are places like New Hampshire where there are pastors willing to marry couples without the legal presidence (after thorough counseling). They lose out on tax breaks, and normal medical coverage, but as they don’t have draconian Common Law marriage laws, a marriage not recognized by the state is much safer for a man."

Gil claims to be a godly man and obviously his views are acceptable to Lori since she vets every comment on the blog. Gil goes on to say:

"“Christian” Marriage today is Russian Roulette with five bullets in the revolver for men. Even those men who escape divorce, losing custody of children, and financial ruin often end up with miserable women."

This man has a young daughter that he and his wife are raising to be a godly doormat. Would Gil feel the same if his daughter and her children were left with nothing and no education to fall back on? It's probably safe to say that he would, and he would blame her for it.

 

[klein_roeschen]

7 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Speaking of withholding finances and responsibility, Gil, a commentor on Lori's blog, doesn't think men should get legally married. 

"Side note you may find interesting: there are places like New Hampshire where there are pastors willing to marry couples without the legal presidence (after thorough counseling). They lose out on tax breaks, and normal medical coverage, but as they don’t have draconian Common Law marriage laws, a marriage not recognized by the state is much safer for a man."

Gil claims to be a godly man and obviously his views are acceptable to Lori since she vets every comment on the blog. Gil goes on to say:

"“Christian” Marriage today is Russian Roulette with five bullets in the revolver for men. Even those men who escape divorce, losing custody of children, and financial ruin often end up with miserable women."

This man has a young daughter that he and his wife are raising to be a godly doormat. Would Gil feel the same if his daughter and her children were left with nothing and no education to fall back on? It's probably safe to say that he would, and he would blame her for it.

 

Oh great, getting a doormat without the legal obligation to provide for her and the children. If they are not legally married and she is a SAHM, every penny is in his name and if he want's to treat her for a newer model or she shows any sign of an own personality, no problem with throwing her out on a whim. Disgusting

[lilwriter85]

A couple of people replied to the fangirl who said she was a SAHM for 20 years and has been having financial difficulties after her husband asked for a divorce. 

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Your choices are right for you and my choices are right for my family. My children are all well adjusted and awesome humans and all were in daycare. Mind your own business and let others do what's best for them ..stop the mommy shaming!

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 S, when I found myself a single mom, my options were 1. Go back to work OR 2. Starve and be homeless.

I chose option 1, and my children are happy and well-adjusted Christians.

 

Then S replies with this.  I bet Lori will delete this or she'll tell the fangirl that single moms should be supported by their church or family members. In a way, I feel sorry for the fangirl because looks to be in her late 40s/early 50s and you just know Lori really doesn't care about her or other 40-something, 50-something, or older women who end up divorced after many years of being a SAHM. In the past, Lori has ignored posts from divorced or former SAHMs who have financial difficulties. 

Quote

 I have always been aware of how fortunate that I was able to stay home with my kids. I also understand a single mom can’t usually stay home.

 

[ladyicantxplain]

2 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

The Transformed Wife This is why it's so important to teach young women before they are married to prepare themselves to be godly help meets and make sure they only marry godly men who are willing to work hard and provide for their families.

 

Has it occurred to her that spouses can become MENTALLY ILL?  

 

When a man is stricken with mental illness, he doesn't CARE about working.  He cares about sleeping and slowly "killing" himself.  He has no self-love, much less love for his wife and family which includes providing and protecting for anyone.  

Did it occur to her that marrying a "godly man" who is "willing to work hard" may have an injury to his BRAIN?

He may forget that he is even a Christian.  He may take on a totally different personality or more than one, switching between the two.  

"Just marry a Godly man who want to work"...is no guarantee that he will ALWAYS be a godly man who wants to work.

 

I just cannot comprehend how she thinks this kind of self-righteousness is helpful to those of us whose husbands have gone insane, gotten hurt, become depressed, abandoned their "faith", etc.....

[lilwriter85]

4 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Has it occurred to her that spouses can become MENTALLY ILL?  

 

When a man is stricken with mental illness, he doesn't CARE about working.  He cares about sleeping and slowly "killing" himself.  He has no self-love, much less love for his wife and family which includes providing and protecting for anyone.  

Did it occur to her that marrying a "godly man" who is "willing to work hard" may have an injury to his BRAIN?

He may forget that he is even a Christian.  He may take on a totally different personality or more than one, switching between the two.  

"Just marry a Godly man who want to work"...is no guarantee that he will ALWAYS be a godly man who wants to work.

 

I just cannot comprehend how she thinks this kind of self-righteousness is helpful to those of us whose husbands have gone insane, gotten hurt, become depressed, abandoned their "faith", etc.....

I can't either. My cousin's husband is mentally ill with bipolar disorder and collects SSDI. He worked hard for years and his medications worked well. But, then his condition worsened and he didn't do well with med changes. His doctors then recommended he apply for SSDI. He has done well in the past few years with med changes/adjustments. But, he's not the same. 

 

 

 

[feministxtian]

Because of my ebil job and working the ebil overtime, we have the cash to pay almost 1k for a car repair**. It won't even put a dent in our monthly budget.

See Lori, that's what happens when you are SMART about things like earning potential/producing income. 

fucking fuel pump went out in the ancient as fuck Expedition

[Briefly]

Lori has no clue.  She has no grasp on reality.  She will never change.

As I have said before, Mr. Briefly worked hard at all the jobs he's had.  He was at his last job 18 years.  Then there were major changes made and that 18 years meant ZERO because one of the financial adjustments his employer made meant jobs being eliminated.  Including his and most of his department.  Through no fault of his own, his job no longer existed.  We were fortunate in that he qualified for a buy-out and we did get what was basically a severance pay.  But we still have had to make some major adjustments.  He did try to find another job, but the job market for men his age in a field that basically evaporated meant that he was not able to find another job.  If I had not already been working, we would have eventually lost our house and who knows what else would have happened!  But I guess I could have just followed her advice, stayed home and let us eventually live on the streets and starve.