Lori Alexander 60: Queen of Woo

[Lgirlrocks]

51 minutes ago, Briefly said:

Lori has no clue.  She has no grasp on reality.  She will never change.

As I have said before, Mr. Briefly worked hard at all the jobs he's had.  He was at his last job 18 years.  Then there were major changes made and that 18 years meant ZERO because one of the financial adjustments his employer made meant jobs being eliminated.  Including his and most of his department.  Through no fault of his own, his job no longer existed.  We were fortunate in that he qualified for a buy-out and we did get what was basically a severance pay.  But we still have had to make some major adjustments.  He did try to find another job, but the job market for men his age in a field that basically evaporated meant that he was not able to find another job.  If I had not already been working, we would have eventually lost our house and who knows what else would have happened!  But I guess I could have just followed her advice, stayed home and let us eventually live on the streets and starve.

No no no. If you trust god the money would appear out of nowhere. If you lost your house it would be because you didn’t trust god. Didn’t you know that god makes it rain money if you stay home, home school, and trust god if your husband can’t work. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Job loss happens even to pastors.  Baptists will vote one out over pretty much anything. Piss off the wrong deacon and see what happens.

If I hadn't been working, we would have been screwed.

We have some dear friends from seminary. The husband was forced to resign for some stupid excuse.  He's actually a good guy. 

They're fundie lite. She is a SAHM, homeschools etc.  They lost their home and had to move around from family and friends (with their four children) for about 9 months.  Needless to say he is not in ministry anymore. They said they couldn't put their kids through that again.  The oldest doesn't want to go to church anymore.  

[usmcmom]

Several years ago, my husband lost his job. He was CFO for a family owned business ane he advised the owners to cut costs; so they fired him and gave the owner's wife his job. She had no accounting/finance experience but she worked for free so, whatever. 

Anyway, as soon as that happened, we just prayed and prayed and prayed. Lo and behold!! A money tree appeared in our backyard and we just went outside every morning and picked our daily portion, kind of like manna in the desert. Sometimes there were coins on the ground but mostly it was paper money sprouting off the branches...tens and twenties ya know  

Okay, that second part didn't happen but Lori thinks that's how it works. 

The good part was the owners gave my husband three months to find another job. Ten days after they fired him, he was able to give notice. He said the looks on their faces was worth the whole ordeal when he got to leave way ahead of schedule. 

Plus, we had that money tree. Heh. 

Seriously, though; I know losing a job is no joke and Lori needs to just STOP with her money saving tips and "God will provide...blah blah blah." 

[feministxtian]

Yeah, we tried living off the SSDI thing. It didn't work so well. It worked a little better when he got the part-time job and the SSDI but we were still trapped in a cycle where we'd never, ever get ahead. Shitty apartment in a shitty neighborhood, lots of mac & cheese for dinner, paying cash for my shrink and meds.

THEN...low and behold! I got a job, a decent job w/bennies and all that shit. Quick jump to the nice townhouse, nice car in the garage, $$ for repairs to the ancient ass tank, dinners out or grubhub, shopping at Kohl's instead of Savers (I like Savers but the whole idea of brand new clothes is fucking awesome). 

Yeah, we could have survived w/o my income but I'm just materialistic enough to want to live in a nice neighborhood, have insurance and drive a car that doesn't hurt to drive. 

I'm still a little chuffed at the 900+ dollar repair bill for the tank but it's cheaper than car payments. 

[Escadora]

3 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Yeah, we could have survived w/o my income but I'm just materialistic enough to want to live in a nice neighborhood, have insurance and drive a car that doesn't hurt to drive. 

A part of me suspects that's a little tongue in cheek, but it does rub me the wrong way that people like Lori will never know what it's like to feel materialistic for wanting to live comfortably. You deserve to live in a nice neighbourhood, with a nice car and the insurance to boot. You deserve to have enough money to pay your bills and then have a little extra for funsies. You deserve a nice garden with nice things and as many books and cat toys as you can handle and access to nice food and you deserve it all not because you work but because you're human and you care and you appreciate what you have even when it's not the nicest most flashy most expensive of options. It is because you appreciate what you have that you work, and I pity Lori in that she'll never experience the joy of finding out she's not only managed to budget just right for everything in a particular month but ALSO HAS MONEY FOR THE NICE SHAMPOO THIS TIME (which, literally, this month is the first in a while where I've had enough extra for a treat like that and now I'm just here smelling my coconut and lime smelling hair and feeling like the cat who got the cream, it's soooo satisfying).

Lori has no appreciation for what she has nor the work that Ken puts in so that she can have it. Of course he's a twat also, so I have limited sympathy, but all the same.

[feministxtian]

7 minutes ago, Escadora said:

It is because you appreciate what you have that you work, and I pity Lori in that she'll never experience the joy of finding out she's not only managed to budget just right for everything in a particular month but ALSO HAS MONEY FOR THE NICE SHAMPOO THIS TIME (which, literally, this month is the first in a while where I've had enough extra for a treat like that and now I'm just here smelling my coconut and lime smelling hair and feeling like the cat who got the cream, it's soooo satisfying).

I was being tongue in cheek. I don't apologize for liking the nicer things in life. An almost brand new SUV with ALL the bells and whistles (and heated seats!). I like being able to afford to pop off 100 bucks for my mani/pedi. I also like that I EARN the $$ that pays for it. 

While we were broke-ass, I didn't get my nails done. No $$ in the budget for it. Now? Hellz yeah! When I started working, our income damn near TRIPLED! I don't apologize for any of it...we went thru some shit, we're on the other side and I'm damn sure going to enjoy it. 

Lori has no idea how it feels to be able to pay for your own mani/pedi, tank of gas, smokes, a Ben & Jerry's binge or saying "fuck it" and ordering grubhub. There's a certain amount of pride that goes with it. 

Now...we'll see what happens after my court date. We may end up with that big ass house too. 

 

[Hane]

@ladyicantxplain, preach. My first husband’s mental illness (and self-medicating with alcohol) ended our marriage. He couldn’t cope with the responsibility of having a wife and baby to care for, even though he had a stress-free job working for his father (who was a bona fide saint). 

I’d love to see Lori trying to cope with living with a drunk or drugged mentally ill husband who can’t be arsed to go to work. (At an Al-Anon meeting back in 1979, I heard advice that a wife should just let her husband “hit bottom” and leave the bills unpaid as the utilities get shut off, as kind of a wake-up call to him. I thought, “NO WAY IN HELL,” and realized that my daughter and I deserved much better.)

[Escadora]

19 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Lori has no idea how it feels to be able to pay for your own mani/pedi, tank of gas, smokes, a Ben & Jerry's binge or saying "fuck it" and ordering grubhub. There's a certain amount of pride that goes with it. 

In fairness, I think if Lori ever became capable of feeling that level of joy we'd immediately have to start a watch rota for the other three horsemen. 

In truth, it doesn't bother me that Lori doesn't work and is lazy. Ken enables her to be that way and that's their marriage, their life, whatever. What bothers me is the bigger problem it represents. Lori sits on her ass all day, finger hovering over the delete button like it's a lifeline, and deliberately allows her followers and fangirls suffer (even furthering that suffering with her shit advice and complete lack of insight and compassion) when, in reality, she and Ken do have the financial ability to help out. True, they're not obligated to help out financially with any of Lori's followers, and even I would say that their hypothetical monetary contribution would be more of a band-aid than a solution to a larger problem. All I'd say is that that 14 dollars she spends on butter might actually have bought a couple of days' worth of full meals for a family that follows her ridiculous teachings.

Lori? Frugality? My ass. 

For me it parallels the crux of what's wrong with capitalism as it's practised today (don't worry, I'm no gonna go all marxist and deep on everyone, this thread just makes me think about stuff like this). I feel as though any system that allows for the person in charge to live a life of complete luxury whilst people who work far harder to not be given proper financial compensation, health benefits, a stable pension, and sanity-supporting hours is inherently broken. Just look at Jeff Bezos (his philanthropy aside, I have a hard time being cool with anyone who has more wealth than an entire country, especially when he owns other corporations and newspapers too). The guy makes money in his sleep, and wakes up thousands richer than when he fell asleep. All the while, the people working his factories can't grab a five minute break to go pee, and struggle to pay their rent. 

My field of study has turned me a little socialist, I'll admit, and I know that's not super popular, but I don't think it's unreasonable to argue that nobody should have to sleep in their car, that anyone who works 35+ hours a week shouldn't have to struggle to pay their bills, and that a person doesn't lack value or worth simply because they aren't, for whatever reason, working. To that end I absolutely support taxing the mega rich more harshly so that the poverty-stricken can have a chance at a life not solely rooted around survival. 

(I don't know where all of that came from, I had only intended to write a little bit, oops. Sorry for it being super irrelevant.)

@feministxtian, I hope my previous post didn't come across as devaluing your work and the pride you take in it. I've been around FJ for too many years not to be rooting for you and cheering for your successes as they come, and I'm beyond happy for you. That you've recovered enough to work a job where you're happy, that you got a nice place and are considering moving up again, and that you have enough money now to buy the things that make you happy it's all really fucking cool and I'm stoked for you. I'm right there with you on feeling the satisfaction of having truly earned a luxury and not having that nagging, almost obligatory guilt that comes with having treated oneself knowing that it wasn't reeeeeeally in the budget.

I just, at my core, feel like any system that requires people to sleep on the streets (especially in this cold ass winter we're having in Britain), so that a select few can enjoy luxuries that I and the majority of the people I know could only ever dream of coming anywhere close to, is wrong and reprehensible and for whatever reason Lori's just really hammer in that injustice all the more. She's just such a perfect example of someone living a privileged lifestyle whilst looking down on those poorer than her like it's their own fault they're poor. I'm sure she thinks her wealth is indicative of some kind of moral superiority and I'm doing to shut up now before I start again. 

(fingers crossed for you with that court date btw)

[feministxtian]

Here in Las Vegas, there are enough empty properties to house every single homeless person with properties left over. Up the road from us is a high-falootin' subdivision where the bottom end is about a mil. Most of these folks have homes elsewhere, whether it be Mt. Charleston or outside the state. What I want to know is how much is enough? What is this thing with the idiotic, senseless, hedonistic need to collect wealth? After a certain point, you can't spend it all. How many houses, cars, yachts, planes do you need? 

How many "tax breaks" do these people need? It's all insane. I mean, I've been at the bottom and it sucked. I don't want to be uber rich, I just want to live a nice, fairly comfortable life (read: not worrying where next month's rent is coming from). We plan to leave nothing to our children, they're all fairly successful. Everything will be left to various charities. 

I'd like to encourage people in the US, to give to US Vets. They take care of Vets beyond what the VA does. They have a couple of apartment buildings for single vets, do a lot with housing vets w/families, getting vets hooked up with the VA, provide PTSD, drug and alcohol assistance. Go to US Vets dot org. US Vets put us in temporary housing, got us set up with the social worker who helped us jump thru the HUD-VASH hoops to get into a permanent situation, etc. 

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, feministxtian said:

What I want to know is how much is enough? What is this thing with the idiotic, senseless, hedonistic need to collect wealth? After a certain point, you can't spend it all. How many houses, cars, yachts, planes do you need? 

Mr. Nova and I had this very conversation today while driving home from a visit to my parent's house. Mr. Nova is a very skilled mechanic/millwright and it would be easy for him to find a job that would bring in three times what he makes now but it would require a longer commute and a single activity job. His current job gives him endless variety and that's what he needs to be happy. One day he's in the fields supervising stock pick-up, the next day he's fabricating, another day might find him welding or doing truck repair, the list goes on. His job provides everything we need to be comfortable and more. Our happiness together is more important than anything and neither of us are willing to trade time away from each other for more money in the bank.

My dad was diagnosed with a rare type cancer just before Christmas. The survival rate isn't good. Facing this kind of struggle as a family has a way of bringing a deeper sense of meaning and clarity to what truly matters. Real luxury is the ability to have the time to care for my parents, to have to means to cook dinner for two households and not have to worry about the money. The love and gratitude that I feel toward Mr. Nova for providing this kind of life for us is immeasurable. How much more can anyone want?

[klein_roeschen]

5 hours ago, Escadora said:

Lori has no appreciation for what she has nor the work that Ken puts in so that she can have it. Of course he's a twat also, so I have limited sympathy, but all the same.

Because Lori never had to work to make end meets, to worry about after paying rent and utilities about having enough to have food on the table every day. She grow up as a doctor's daughter, her father paid for her college education, so no debt for her. I don't know for how many years she worked as a teacher after college, but I don't think it was more than 5 at tops. When she was a working mom, her mother was her daycare, so no daycare costs and she pocked a hole in her diaphragm, to become pregnant and become a SAHM, that was in the 1980's. Since then, she doesn't worked. She had a maid AND a nanny to take care of everything. If you upen up the dictionary and look for entitled bitch, you will see her picture.

 

[Sarah92]

I don't think Lori or people who have never struggled with money understand how little things add up. I mentioned before that I only went to the gyno for the first time this year. Now I don't go around shouting this from the roof tops but I've mentioned it a few times to other women. It's often followed by the beginnings of a judgemental stare and a "really?" I have no problem looking them in the eye and telling them I was poor and didn't have insurance. These are often the same people who talk about being on their parent's insurance still. I didn't have that luxury. I really almost did cry tears of joy when I was able to go to the doctors for the 1st time since I was like 17 or maybe even younger and it was covered by my benefits. 

But seriously in many ways being in a lower social economic status was a huge shaper of my teenage years. Walking in my freshman year of HS I knew there was no messing around because if I didn't get scholarships there would be no college (or it would be ten times harder). This put a huge strain to perform academically and sometimes I'd just miss being a teen because I was busy with homework . Do I regret it? No, because I came into college with focus and independence 

Lori would say that I didn't need to go to college... But I did my small town didn't have anything that would really provide a livable lifestyle and my parents really couldn't afford to let me live there forever. So off I went because I care more about helping my family then following some loons interpretation of the Bible. 

I just wish that rich people would get it , just how hard it can be  

 

[EyesOpen]

Same crack pots who support billions in funding walls and say the shutdown isn’t effecting anyone. They are so privileged they can’t even show empathy for those relying on food stamps or fleeing violence. Everyone should just pull themselves up by the boot straps like they never did. No social safety net needed! Everyone just be rich and comfortable like them!

[lilwriter85]

I wonder if this will stay up. If it stays up, I can see Lori replying that Ken is ok with her spending so much time on the blog and FB because they don't have kids at home and it's just two of them. 

I think Lori's online activities are probably mixed for Ken. He probably doesn't mind her staying out of his hair a lot of time because she's blogging and doing FB comments. But, there are times he is probably close to pissing his pants because he knows that Lori's online activities could do some damage to his livelihood. 

 

 

 

[Briefly]

14 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Job loss happens even to pastors.  Baptists will vote one out over pretty much anything. Piss off the wrong deacon and see what happens.

The Southern Baptist church I attended with my parents starting as a teenager had a huge blowup because the pastor wanted to do something that the deacons didn't like. I don't remember all the specifics, but the pastor was younger, maybe in his 30's, and the deacons were all much older - I think the youngest was at least late 60's but he may have been older.  It was something very minor, but the deacons were on a huge power trip.  They eventually forced a vote to get rid of the pastor - of course, they said they were not firing him, just vacating the pulpit.  It was a very interesting members meeting, I was a baptized member and had been for years by then. It was very much along age lines, and there were more younger (50's or younger) than older members (deacons ages). The deacons lost and they were mad!  A few of them left over it.  I left that church when we joined the Methodist church.  A few years later, the pastor moved to another church and the replacement was another younger man. Most of the deacons died off and things were much better, from what I heard from my parents and sister who still attended there.

If the old men had gotten their way, the pastor would have been out of a job and homeless.  So, I wonder where his money tree would have sprung up?

@Hane, I have a relative going through a similar situation to the one you described.  The husband is probably an alcoholic and probably has been for years.  That may be his issue now or he may have a mental illness.  His wife (my relative) is at her wit's end, she thinks he is going to try to divorce her, leave her with nothing, and kick her out of the house.  Even though she has a legal right to half of everything and then some, he seems to think that he can tell her to leave and that she will have no legal recourse.  It's about to get very ugly, he will have a very rude awakening but it may be really bad before it gets to the point where everything is sorted out.  Maybe I should just tell her to call on Saint Lori!

@SuperNova, when Mr. Briefly was trying to find another job after being laid off, there were a couple that looked promising.  Until we did the math and realized he would spend more in gasoline than he would actually bring in, due to the distance he would have to drive.

[smittykins]

Someone on my FB feed posted the “No one who works 40 hours a week should have to live in poverty” quote, and one of the responses was “Nowhere is it written that one job is supposed to provide all your needs.  If you want more, work more.” (When a third person said that she was unable to work due to mental illness, the second person helpfully suggested “Why don’t you become a secretary?  You seem to have a good grasp of the English language and can obviously type.”) 

[wallysmommy]

The hospital where I work is raising the minimum wage to $12/hour, which is still below what is needed to cover expenses for a single person, much less a family.  Just car insurance in our area is astronomically expensive.  I almost fell out when Liberty Mutual raised mine to $4400 a year.  No accident, 6-year-old car, and I'm 59 years old and I'm the only one on my policy.  Lori knows nothing of these things.  How do you plunk out money for car insurance that's equivalent to half a rent payment for a half-way decent apartment? It's no wonder people have to rob Peter to pay Paul.  Her response "trust God."  Guess what, Lori.  Chase Bank doesn't accept a mortgage payment that is "trust God."  Wal-Mart doesn't take a "trust God" card.  I just want to kick her with my stilettos in her skinny ass.

[nokidsmom]

17 hours ago, Briefly said:

As I have said before, Mr. Briefly worked hard at all the jobs he's had.  He was at his last job 18 years.  Then there were major changes made and that 18 years meant ZERO because one of the financial adjustments his employer made meant jobs being eliminated.  Including his and most of his department.  Through no fault of his own, his job no longer existed. 

17 hours ago, Briefly said:

If I had not already been working, we would have eventually lost our house and who knows what else would have happened!  But I guess I could have just followed her advice, stayed home and let us eventually live on the streets and starve.

Preach it, sister!  

Mr. No suddenly lost his job in January 2009, during the month racking up the worst job losses in the Great Recession.  He busted his butt at that job for 15 years but between bad management decisions and the bad economy, he was out, simple as that.    Good reviews and pay raises, didn't matter.  He eventually found a new job after retraining, but he took a 40% pay cut and was out of work for over 2 years before that even got to happen. 

My paycheck saved our financial asses during those years even with a temporary paycut during 2009.   And I work in the automotive industry, which was on extremely shaky ground at that same time.  Thank the I did not lose my job but my anxiety levels were off the charts that year.    

Had I followed Lori's advice we would have been up shit creek and fast.   Even after Mr. No found a job we would have never recovered.   My job has been that critical to our financial survival. 

Lori can take her advice on women not working because their husbands will always provide and shove it.

 

 

[feministxtian]

10 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Mr. Nova and I had this very conversation today while driving home from a visit to my parent's house. Mr. Nova is a very skilled mechanic/millwright and it would be easy for him to find a job that would bring in three times what he makes now but it would require a longer commute and a single activity job. His current job gives him endless variety and that's what he needs to be happy.

That's the problem I'm having with my job. Same shit, different day. I'm bored. I'm sucking it up because it suits our needs. Money has nothing to do with it. I was much happier when I worked for the lighting company. I did the designs, was production manager, project manager, you name it, I did it. I could even cuss out my boss. However, I had no benefits, which are what I need. So I stay at my fairly boring-ass job. 

[Sarah92]

Lori seems really focused on the college and getting married thing right now, I wonder who pissed in her Cheerios?

[refugee]

14 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I'd like to encourage people in the US, to give to US Vets. They take care of Vets beyond what the VA does. They have a couple of apartment buildings for single vets, do a lot with housing vets w/families, getting vets hooked up with the VA, provide PTSD, drug and alcohol assistance. Go to US Vets dot org. US Vets put us in temporary housing, got us set up with the social worker who helped us jump thru the HUD-VASH hoops to get into a permanent situation, etc. 

I went to usvets dot org and got one of those "domain for sale" pages. Can you provide a link? Thanks.

[lilwriter85]

 I looked at some comments from a couple days back that I missed and she goes on about how "women aren't designed to take care of themselves".  It seems she deleted a comment that questioned whether her kids would help her out financially.  Also, it's hilarious that Lori who doesn't tithe to her church mentions that churches should help widows. 

An LDS woman later chimed in about how the LDS welfare program. I'm not against people taking help in difficult situations, but I know many people who wouldn't want to be dependent on help from relatives and churches for years and years.  I was surprised that one of the comments about some people not having relatives to help out wasn't deleted. 

 

This fangirl should consider the possibilities that some people have their own financial struggles and might not be able to help elderly parents or other family members even if they wanted to. Hopefully, this woman's second husband makes a lot of money which would help if they have to take care of the woman's mother.  Lori and her fangirls don't consider is that spouses have issues and do fight when it comes to giving financial support to elderly parents or other relatives.  Lori and this fangirl are banking way too much on others taking care of them and they could be in for a rude awakening if their kids or relatives are unable to completely take care of them later on. 

[Loveday]

9 minutes ago, refugee said:

I went to usvets dot org and got one of those "domain for sale" pages. Can you provide a link? Thanks.

Not to usurp @feministxtian, but I was just on the site so had the link handy. 

https://www.usvetsinc.org/

[wallysmommy]

All of Lori's big talk reminds me of the story of the Good Samaritan.  I could totally see Lori crossing the other side of the road to not have her clothes dirtied by someone beneath her.  She would say she couldn't help because her neck or her back hurt too much to bend down. 

I know, I'm being totally bitchy!

 

[lilwriter85]

2 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Lori seems really focused on the college and getting married thing right now, I wonder who pissed in her Cheerios?

I'm guessing someone in her extended family.