Lori Alexander 60: Queen of Woo

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, ViolaSebastian said:

I used to work at a non-profit and we called them “4Ws”. Well-off, well-meaning, white women.  

In Lori's case I'd go with 3W.  I don't think she's well-meaning.  She may have been early on, but not anymore.  

Today's topic is romance novels, and I have to say for once The Godly Mentor is not 100% wrong, although she comes to a very incorrect conclusion.  It is possible to overdose on romance novels, and one can come to very unrealistic expectations if s/he expects real life to mirror fiction.  The same can be said of any work of fiction, that modeling one's day to day life thereon is not going to work...say, the 'Biblical' idea that some older women have of 'godly womanhood' and 'God's Perfect Ways.'  Just sayin'!     But that doesn't mean all books, TV, and movies have to go.  Sure, they're unrealistic, they're not like our lives (most of us, anyway!).  That's what makes them fun!   

[wallysmommy]

I’ve mentioned before my mother, Wife of Assembly of God minister, published 13 hot, steamy romance novels.  Some of the happiest, long term married women I know were part of the romance writer community. This is more of the miserable tribe’s attempt to pour their daily misery on everyone else. 

I’m quite over fan girl Severine. She has evidently ousted Flicka and Cora as chief leghumper.

[ViolaSebastian]

12 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

In Lori's case I'd go with 3W.  I don't think she's well-meaning.  She may have been early on, but not anymore.  

Today's topic is romance novels, and I have to say for once The Godly Mentor is not 100% wrong, although she comes to a very incorrect conclusion.  It is possible to overdose on romance novels, and one can come to very unrealistic expectations if s/he expects real life to mirror fiction.  The same can be said of any work of fiction, that modeling one's day to day life thereon is not going to work...say, the 'Biblical' idea that some older women have of 'godly womanhood' and 'God's Perfect Ways.'  Just sayin'!     But that doesn't mean all books, TV, and movies have to go.  Sure, they're unrealistic, they're not like our lives (most of us, anyway!).  That's what makes them fun!   

Lori watches a lot of Hallmark movies. Lord knows, I can’t count the number of times I’ve been a widow trying to save my father’s small-town business from a hawt, but unscrupulous business man whom my daughter teaches to be loving and giving. It happens almost twice a month, honestly. 

[smittykins]

Or a career-driven, single city gal meets someone from her sleepy small hometown, who eventually teaches her that Life Is Meaningless Without A Husband And Children, and they marry and movie back home(the only place with Real Family Values™️)and she quits her job to become a SAHM).

[SongRed7]

3 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

She has evidently ousted Flicka and Cora as chief leghumper.

and Lindy has been gone for months (maybe self imposed exile) and Prudently doesn't show up too much any more either.  She spoke out on all of the MGTOW jerks...  Also, that Alyssa Roberts seems to be pretty hardlined. Sometimes I wonder if she is a troll. 

 

[cara]

Sometimes I've snooped the pages of Lori's fans and they are scary. I wonder what her children or neighbours think of the company she is keeping online. One of the commentators on her romance posts is a member of the League of the South. And another fan is the wife of a convicted child killer. 

[Sarah92]

Sometimes I wonder if she thinks she's part of a hallmark movie. A lot of movies seem to that that "wise older woman mentor" who tells the young, business woman what's really important in life. 

45 minutes ago, cara said:

Sometimes I've snooped the pages of Lori's fans and they are scary. I wonder what her children or neighbours think of the company she is keeping online. One of the commentators on her romance posts is a member of the League of the South. And another fan is the wife of a convicted child killer. 

Besides being awful they're also often single. What business does a single man have in trying to help young women with marriage and "being a godly women"? 

[ShopKeeper]

7 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Sometimes I wonder if she thinks she's part of a hallmark movie. A lot of movies seem to that that "wise older woman mentor" who tells the young, business woman what's really important in life. 

Maybe she pictures herself like an angel of a Hallmark movie. Where she suddenly appears in a glorious white light and changes the hardened businesswoman's life and then when the woman has been blessed with Angel Lori's astounding wisdom and has changed her life, Angel Lori disappears suddenly with only a trace of holy pixie dust as evidence she was ever there. The new stay-at-home mom and helpmeet sometimes wonders if the event ever happened at all, or if it was simply a wondrous godly dream.

[FullOfGravy]

50 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Besides being awful they're also often single. What business does a single man have in trying to help young women with marriage and "being a godly women"? 

Plenty of business - clearly these men are single, not because no woman in her right mind would touch them with a bargepole, but because they have yet to find a woman who lives up to their standards of chaste, submissive Godliness.  If they can brainwash teach young women how to behave, they might just be able to find someone worthy of marriage.  (/s, obviously)

 

9 hours ago, Petronella said:

Part of what astonishes me, apart from the obvious "it's good to have a place to live and food to eat" thing, is that life is so LONG. Okay, you think it's best for a mother to be home raising her kids. But even if you take that as a direct command from God himself, how does that apply to all the other years and years and years of life? Parenting is just one phase of life. It's literally physically limited.

And women are more likely to outlive that phase of life now than they were when the Bible was written.  If the average life expectancy is less than 50, a woman is more likely to die and leave young children than she is to need a plan for her empty-nest years.

[Lisafer]

1 hour ago, ShopKeeper said:

Maybe she pictures herself like an angel of a Hallmark movie. Where she suddenly appears in a glorious white light and changes the hardened businesswoman's life and then when the woman has been blessed with Angel Lori's astounding wisdom and has changed her life, Angel Lori disappears suddenly with only a trace of holy pixie dust dusting of Einkorn flour as evidence she was ever there. The new stay-at-home mom and helpmeet sometimes wonders if the event ever happened at all, or if it was simply a wondrous godly dream.

There you go.

[SuperNova]

10 hours ago, Petronella said:

Lori is literally declaring the God of the universe, in whom she believes as the supreme creator and controller, is limited in how He can choose to act. Whether or not you believe in God, or this form of God, Lori does. So how does she justify this arrogant position?

This is one of the reasons I am an athiest. So many people, human and fallible, believe that they are the mouthpiece of a god. The ego that it must take to convince yourself as Lori does, that you are a prophet capable of interpeting the will of an omnipotent being is incredible. Lori's version of religion is the very reason so many people turn away.

[SongRed7]

She just can't encourage anyone without crushing them into the ground, can she??.  A young married woman who basically agreed with Lori that romance novels  weren't based in reality wrote that she decided not to settle on a husband or just get married for the sake of getting married based on fiction. She held out for a good husband  (she says she's married 4 years today) and now she is happy and blessed. 

What does Lori say?  Does she say "That's great to hear. Prayers to you and your husband on your marriage." NO! Does she say, "What a blessing!  You are  a good example for other young women seeking a deep, rewarding relationship." NO 

She basically has to throw water on this young woman. Essentially saying, "you don't know ANYTHING sweetheart.  My marriage was miserable, I MADE my marriage miserable, so YOU JUST WAIT. You haven't seen anything yet."   Her exact words:

LORI: "Having high standards for who you marry and high expectations after marriage are two completely different things! My husband is a good man but my expectations after marriage were so destructive to our marriage. I wanted him to be like so and so's husband. Not good! You've only been married 4 years and it's good you have a great marriage but most marriages over the long term will go through trials, sufferings, pain, effects of sin, ill-health, etc. and it's the commitment that will get them through not emotions, mushiness, and feelings." 

[feministxtian]

9 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

My husband is a good man but my expectations after marriage were so destructive to our marriage. I wanted him to be like so and so's husband. Not good! You've only been married 4 years and it's good you have a great marriage but most marriages over the long term will go through trials, sufferings, pain, effects of sin, ill-health, etc. and it's the commitment that will get them through not emotions, mushiness, and feelings." 

God, what a bitch! 

Yes, the commitment will get you through but so will emotions, mushiness and feelings. 

[delphinium65]

20 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

"...It's the commitment that will get them through not emotions, mushiness, and feelings." 

Why does Lori believe the two are mutually exclusive?  Doesn't she realize that a person can be committed to another with emotions engaged?  Just because she is incapable of combining the two, she thinks no one else can.  

[teachergirl]

I have clicked on Alyssa Roberts and I am also certain she is a troll.  You all could click on her and tell me if I am off base. Lori is too stupid to notice when she is being trolled. Her ego is too big to click on profiles I think.

[AuntKrazy]

Lori's problem is ironically the same as those who are disappointed that life is not like a romance novel.  She lives a formulaic existence.  Her problem isn't simply expectations, her problem is not being able to have emotionally developed past elementary linear thought processes, which allow for complexity in both thought and emotion.  

Most adults who read romance novels understand how to differentiate fiction from reality.  We read them as a diversion, or even as an abstraction which helps us be thankful for the good in our lives.  I may enjoy the occasional formulaic Hallmark movie while I'm doing laundry, but at the end of the day, it really only makes me appreciate that my life is not that formulaic nor boring.  It certainly is not something I impose on the very real man whom I married.

See, I married a person.  In fact, I married my favorite person.  ?   He makes me think, encourages me to grow, causes me to laugh so hard my stomach hurts.  He holds me when I am hurt.  We have navigated sickness, the deaths of loved ones, as well as celebrations and joy.   My life with him is better than any romance novel because it is not that formulaic or predictable.  We still surprise each other.  

We debate things - but both enjoy the intellectual stimulation that affords.  My husband would be miserable with a "meek, quiet wife" who did not have a thought or interest of her own.  

What would ruin our marriage is if we suddenly decided specific roles were more important than the unique people we are.  (and especially if one of us decided to manipulate the other into things)  The whole point of passages in the New Testament about gifts and talents and being the Body of Christ is because we are all meant to be different.  There is no one-size-fits all spirituality or marriage.  And obeying God was never meant to carry a caveat of "only if you are male" or "only if you are female"!  

See, Lori, I'm not a victim of "feminists".  Rather, I am a daughter of the King, a joint-heir with Christ, who is given gifts and talents to use to make the world better.  I'm not going to stop working outside the home on your say so when the second most  repeated command in Scripture is "Fear Not".  To me, it sounds like you are AFRAID to "step out of line" - and what kind of marriage and life is that?  It is not "godly" to try to make me (and other women) afraid of disobeying God simply by working an honest job. There is no fear in God's love.  His perfect love casts out fear.  And nothing in Scripture prohibits women working. 

 

[wallysmommy]

I would love it if someone with awesome Photoshop skills would make a not-so-romance novel cover with Ken and Lori as the models.  It could be called "The Californian's Lazy Wife" styled after the Harlequin Presents title formula.

[SuperNova]

Lori should love this article: 

https://www.nationalreview.com/2019/01/traditional-masculinity-harmful-american-psychological-association/

The author, Heather Wilhelm, unironically laments that traditional manly men are still needed because...spiders.

"I, for one, find it very upsetting, for one simple and selfish reason: Who is going to kill all the spiders that make their way into my house?"

[Lgirlrocks]

well Lori you really did a great job answering all of her questions. 

[Frog99]

1 hour ago, Lgirlrocks said:

well Lori you really did a great job answering all of her questions. 

Prudent is right. I’m sure I have met women who complain about their husbands or had unrealistic or unreasonable expectations, but I would be hard pressed to name one- it would take a lot of thinking. The women I know are doing just what Prudent says- working hard, juggling schedules, and working with their partners to manage home responsibilities. Lori likes to try and normalize her behavior- transfer it to others- but she isn’t representative of anyone I know. We have friends who have divorced- for reasons beyond unhappiness. Lori tries to present that women divorce due to unhappiness. I don’t think people just up and divorce for unhappiness. It might be a symptom of a larger issue, but not the sole issue. 

Can someone explain what Lori might mean about the effects of sin on marriage? What is she talking about? 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

Honestly, I'd rather be divorced from Mr wrangler and have him alive than be his widow.

I doubt Lori feels the same way about @Ken apart from the missing money.

[Sarah92]

Y'all, Prudently is officially rebelling. Like shots fired. 

And why aren't they happy Lori? Abuse? Emotional neglect? Lazy husbands who play video games all day long?  A large portion of mothers don't just divorce for funsies. Believe it or not, even with all those divorce laws the Redpill assholes complain about, single mom's still risk poverty when divorcing. 

And Lori knowing one single stat does not make you educated on a topic. Throw a stat around without additional research and you look dumb.

Lastly, sometimes husbands need to do better. You harp on mother's being there for their children to increase emotional stability, well guess what? That emotional need doesn't just go away. Humans have emotional needs. I've spent years studying it and have more than one star to prove it... I have at least two lol. 

[Katzchen24]

Feminism has taught me things, like.... I deserve the same pay as a man for doing the same job; I deserve to be considered equally with my male colleagues for the same job; I am equal in worth to a man, regardless of how I contribute. I consider myself to be a feminist.

Feminism has never, and I'm stressing the 'never' here, taught me that I deserve my own personal man-slave who caters to my every whim. The thought is frankly horrifying on every level.

Spoiler

Seriously, if this is the kind of scat she's actually, genuinely, hearing from women, they have bigger issues than feminism to deal with.

[Katzchen24]

I'm dedicating this to @wallysmommy who had the original game idea.

Spoiler

I hope the font is large enough to be read. Original template is a free one from a site called sparklebox.co.uk.

[SongRed7]

9 hours ago, Frog99 said:

Prudent is right. I’m sure I have met women who complain about their husbands or had unrealistic or unreasonable expectations, but I would be hard pressed to name one- it would take a lot of thinking

ditto.  I know A LOT of women as do all of you.  I don't know one who is like this..not one.  The trouble with Lori is she sees everything through the lens of her own experience. SHE was contentious, SHE wanted Ken to conform to her every wish, SHE  was difficult and demanding.  But MOST women aren't like Lori. She makes these stupid characterizations about women and life simply isn't that black and white. Just because Lori is a cartoon character, that doesn't mean the rest of us are.