Duggars by the Dozen 35: Five Months with no Pregnant Duggars. How much longer will it last?

[anjulibai]

The one in the middle looks a lot like Josh to me. 

I wonder why they didn't include Jackson in this. 

[church_of_dog]

13 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

They have a Justin? I swear, I don't remember that name. lol

Michelle?  Is that you?

 

Spoiler

repeating this same joke from a few years ago when someone else asked "Wait, they have a Justin?" and someone else responded just as I did here. ?

 

[WiseGirl]

I made plans, I thought my life would go one way and it didn't.  (I fought through depression when I was younger). I thought my life was settled, that was it. I was in my 40's single, no children. I minded the no children more than single.  

The universe laughed at me then, because I thought that was going to be it, me and a cat.  Then every door opened that needed to be opened and the next thing you know I have a 12 year-old. It has been 10 years, a rocky, challenging road at times, but a great time too and I became a mother. There are many roads to parenthood. 

Btw it turns out I'm allergic to cats.

 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

The boys’ singing is really good. I wonder if they’re taking lessons? It’s not clear where the video was filmed and it doesn’t look like the TTC. There’s a grand piano (that they didn’t use), so it might be in a music room somewhere. Between that and the crescent rolls post, they’re definitely promoting that group, in a surprisingly gender-neutral way. 

[Iamtheway]

 

On 11/30/2018 at 4:09 PM, lumpentheologie said:

To those of you who have kids (or are attempting to have them), what made you decide you wanted to?  

I wasn’t sure I wanted kids when I was younger but Mr Way always said he did and I started feeling the itch as well in my late twenties. Don’t really know why, it wasn’t really a choice, suddenly I just know I wanted one. Biology? Peer presure? I think there is an assumption in society about having kids. It feels like something you ”should” do and I think it can be quite hard to step away from that. 

I feel the same about only having one kid. Like it’s not really acceptable. But why not? Why do I feel like I have to stick to the norm? Why do I care what other people think?

You shouldn’t have kids if you’re not sure you want them though because they really change your whole life and they are a lot of work. Work that is much easier to do when there are no regrets. 

On 11/30/2018 at 7:57 PM, AtlanticTug said:

So it's totally possible to be crazy in love with your own and still not be a "kid person" if you know what I mean.

This is me. I think Miniway and everything he does and say is absolutely amazing but I don’t really like other kids that much. My nieces and nephews are alright and I do love them. But I also enjoy when they go home again ...

On 11/30/2018 at 8:25 PM, VelociRapture said:

I feel like parenthood is the type of commitment you should be absolutely positive you want prior to jumping into it. Being a mom has been an incredible joy for me, but it’s also ridiculously frustrating, scary, overwhelming, and hard. 

You put it so well! Exactly this!

1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

The boys’ singing is really good. I wonder if they’re taking lessons? It’s not clear where the video was filmed and it doesn’t look like the TTC. There’s a grand piano (that they didn’t use), so it might be in a music room somewhere. Between that and the crescent rolls post, they’re definitely promoting that group, in a surprisingly gender-neutral way. 

Considering the majority of us seem unable to even remember all of them (I always forget at least one of James, Justin and ... that other one that I have forgotten now) they’ll have to get our interest in them up if we’re going to care when they start courting. 

JASON! Got it!

[VelociRapture]

11 hours ago, FundieCentral said:

I posted in the TTC thread a few months ago and got all sorts of lovely and heart-felt advice regarding the “when to have kids” question, just in case anyone wants to head over. A synopsis: 

I’m still in an awkward position the opposite way. I’m 21, happily married, in a full-time job, so is my partner, and our current employers are both as family friendly as they get. We’ve travelled, we’ve finished our degrees, and in a couple of years once we’ve increased our income and moved into a 2-bedroom rental, there’s literally no reason for us not to have a child. But I’m very afraid because 23/24 is young, and everyone says we need to do all these things before we’re ready. Travel et cetera. But when has one travelled enough to be ready? I’ve been to some 25 countries, lived in 5, should I go to more in pursuit of some abstract standard of readiness or is that enough? If we find a good reason to delay having kids (e.g. a graduate degree or an impending promotion), we would for sure. But beyond that we both love children and we married believing we’d have 3 or 4, and I kind of can’t wait to get on that plan  Except there’s no one in this urban hipster community that thinks the same way, and I’m being told from everywhere that children are a waste of money, I should focus on my career, and I’ll end up divorced either way because young marriages don’t last and young parents suck. Sometimes I have escapist fantasies of moving to Utah, where I’m slightly less of a sore thumb. Moral of the story: people are just judgmental creatures. No matter what you do, someone will advise you that you should have done the opposite because their cousin Cheryl twice removed did the same thing and it went horribly for her. 

For what it’s worth, I think it sounds like you guys have a decent plan in place. 23 and 24 are definitely on the young side for my area, but you are the only two people who can know whether it’s the right decision for you or not. If you feel you’re prepared and it’s something you want to do then I wish you guys a lot of luck and happiness when the time comes.  

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

12 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

Reading your sentence very quickly I thought you were suggesting they call themselves Howler Monkeys.

I do think it would be a good band name

"Sorry folk, due to unforseen circumstances the Arctic Moneys cannot play tonight. In their place, we are pleased to present... The Howler Monkeys"

[The Mother Dust]

On 11/30/2018 at 2:30 PM, Flossie said:

But if you still like the idea of forming a relationship with a child in the age group that intrigues you, consider becoming a Big Sister to a child in your school district.  I know of a girl who had a Big Sister for a few years when she was about 10-14, and she has very good memories of the experience.  She knew when she would see her Big Sister and they did a lot of things together, anything from visiting the local museum, to hiking, to making cookies, and lots of times when they just hung out and talked.  I was actually more insulted when the arrangement ended than the girl was, as the girl was told from the beginning that her Big Sister was going to retire from the program at a certain date and the girl had a couple of years to prepare for it.

The Big Sister program is good.  There are other ways you can mentor and form relationships with young people too. Although I am child-free by choice, I still have a nagging bit of maternal instinct in me, and I work that out by volunteering with a high school exchange program in my town. I am actually more comfortable with older teens than with small children, so that works well for me.  I have done this for the past 5 years and love it.  Basically, I am assigned a student each year to be their "adult friend" here, in case something goes sideways with their host family, they have another adult right in the area that they can confide in.  (Of course we are back ground checked every year, and we also have annual trainings that we do.) The exchange organization hosts monthly activities that the volunteers and exchange students take part in, and every month my student and I do something fun, lunch, shopping, a hike, where we can chat and hang out, and I can make sure they aren't getting too homesick, not having too much culture shock, etc.  Bonus, you learn some interesting things about their countries and about your own (my Swiss girl this year told me matter of factly how shocked she was at the amount of roadkill on our roads here... my German girl 2 years before her told me the same thing..... ??)  So I have learned that we are the country of road carnage, lol

I have also stayed in touch with them after they go back home...it's wonderful to see what they go on to do. (Also free place to stay if i ever feel like traveling later on ?) 
 

[potato]

48 minutes ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

"Sorry folk, due to unforseen circumstances the Arctic Moneys cannot play tonight. In their place, we are pleased to present... The Howler Monkeys"

Could you imagine them doing less Nike covers of Arctic Monkeys songs?  I wonder what they'd do with songs like "Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?" and "Knee Socks".

[feministxtian]

Still talking about kids...I have to agree with others who say they like their kids but not terribly fond of other people's kids. There were times I didn't even like my kids (late teens, early 20's). 

However, for some reason, kids liked me (us). I've told the stories of going upstairs to the rec (wreck) room and seeing 10-12 kids in there. Our house was the landing point for my sons and their friends. My grands are great although they can drive me to drink. My 6yo grandson talks...constantly, incessantly, barely stopping to breathe and eat. Fortunately, you don't really have to listen to him. He just talks. 

Now that we're older, I'm glad that it's mostly just the 2 of us. As we've gotten older, we've gotten quieter and are more anti-social. We enjoy the quiet now. We lived with insane chaos for quite a few years and we're glad it's all over. 

[ladyaudley]

The boys are surprisingly good! Lovely voices. 

[Shiny]

On 12/1/2018 at 5:47 AM, FundieCentral said:

I posted in the TTC thread a few months ago and got all sorts of lovely and heart-felt advice regarding the “when to have kids” question, just in case anyone wants to head over. A synopsis: 

I’m still in an awkward position the opposite way. I’m 21, happily married, in a full-time job, so is my partner, and our current employers are both as family friendly as they get. We’ve travelled, we’ve finished our degrees, and in a couple of years once we’ve increased our income and moved into a 2-bedroom rental, there’s literally no reason for us not to have a child. But I’m very afraid because 23/24 is young, and everyone says we need to do all these things before we’re ready. Travel et cetera. But when has one travelled enough to be ready? I’ve been to some 25 countries, lived in 5, should I go to more in pursuit of some abstract standard of readiness or is that enough? If we find a good reason to delay having kids (e.g. a graduate degree or an impending promotion), we would for sure. But beyond that we both love children and we married believing we’d have 3 or 4, and I kind of can’t wait to get on that plan  Except there’s no one in this urban hipster community that thinks the same way, and I’m being told from everywhere that children are a waste of money, I should focus on my career, and I’ll end up divorced either way because young marriages don’t last and young parents suck. Sometimes I have escapist fantasies of moving to Utah, where I’m slightly less of a sore thumb. Moral of the story: people are just judgmental creatures. No matter what you do, someone will advise you that you should have done the opposite because their cousin Cheryl twice removed did the same thing and it went horribly for her. 

I totally agree. People will always have a reason you shouldn’t do something, especially if it’s against the norm. 

 

I had kids young. My first at 20, my last at 25. Having kids didn’t change my lifestyle much at all. We travel, we see plays, eat out, hang out with friends. We just do those things with the kids now. I think the way kids fit into your life really just depends on how one views them. Husband and I have always treated our kids as people rather than a separate species. 

[TeaELSee]

On 11/30/2018 at 12:43 PM, TeaELSee said:

I would LOVE to be a Grandma. My daughter in law is uncertain if she wants kids, My recommendation was do not have children unless YOU want them.  I really wanted so say, oh you’ll love it go ahead!  I shut down my selfish side.

 

Update: My stepson and his wife are expecting!  

I’m super excited, I no longer have to count on my offspring!

[MathQueen]

So happy for you, TeaElSee! Doing the waiting game myself now, so it brightens my day to hear your good news.

[DarkAnts]

On 12/1/2018 at 1:47 PM, QuiverFullofBooks said:

The boys’ singing is really good. I wonder if they’re taking lessons? It’s not clear where the video was filmed and it doesn’t look like the TTC. There’s a grand piano (that they didn’t use), so it might be in a music room somewhere. Between that and the crescent rolls post, they’re definitely promoting that group, in a surprisingly gender-neutral way. 

The sister moms gave them music lessons. I remember an episode where Jinger and I think Jesse were teaching them to sing a harmony.

[tankgirl]

I have chosen not to open the video  so as not to wake up Tank Family, and instead have decided to invision them singing a surprisingly adequate cover of Boy'z to Men "I'll make love to you". 

 

You can't convince me it didnt happen  

[AlltheJs]

Does anybody else find JimBob and Michelles smiles really empty? Just going by their latest IG post about being in cintral america they look as though there is no happiness behind the expression on their face, and it's like that for every photo they ever take

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Spoiler

Here’s a picture of them colonizing Central America......again.  There’s a real possibility of someone getting hurt by the gangs, who don’t like this BS. Don’t they know there’s reasons people are fleeing ??

[SweetJuly]

Do the Duggars know that there are other words to describe a positive feeling beyond "excited"?

Someone fanmail them a thesaurus, please!

[CorruptionInc.]

Michelle looks completely different. Or is it just because she put her hair up because it's hot? I think the up do suits her. 

[lexiloumarie]

18 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

  Hide contents

Here’s a picture of them colonizing Central America......again.  There’s a real possibility of someone getting hurt by the gangs, who don’t like this BS. Don’t they know there’s reasons people are fleeing ??

Then they're martyrs and famous forever! (And probably too naive and "down the rabbit hole" to actually....do real research.) 

[Nodaknorskie]

18 hours ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

  Reveal hidden contents

Here’s a picture of them colonizing Central America......again.  There’s a real possibility of someone getting hurt by the gangs, who don’t like this BS. Don’t they know there’s reasons people are fleeing ??

You know what disgusts me fundies ho to central america and show pictures of how much they love the people then call them horrrndous names when they seek asylum in our country.  It is so hypocritical.  Just makes me mad.  Okay rant over.

[DundeeUnFundie]

Michelle looks like my mum there... same faceshape, which has never been more obvious than with her hair up because they have the same kind of fringe/bangs... ?

[HereticHick]

On 12/4/2018 at 11:25 PM, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

  Hide contents

Here’s a picture of them colonizing Central America......again.  There’s a real possibility of someone getting hurt by the gangs, who don’t like this BS. Don’t they know there’s reasons people are fleeing ??

Although I agree with your disgust with their missioncations, I think its a bit excessive to paint all of Central America as a gang-ridden hellscape. Honduras got almost a  million tourists last year (not counting cruise ship passengers)

[DarkAnts]

On 12/4/2018 at 8:25 PM, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

  Reveal hidden contents

Here’s a picture of them colonizing Central America......again.  There’s a real possibility of someone getting hurt by the gangs, who don’t like this BS. Don’t they know there’s reasons people are fleeing ??

Their tour only involves safe areas (not cities) where most of the people are poor. They give them trinkets and then leave. They don’t actually do anything to improve the lives of these people.