JinJer and Felicity 43: No Homebirth, No Problem

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

How old is the oldest Pomeroy daughter? I wonder if they'll keep trying to dress those girls in matching doll-like outfits when they hit their teens.

There was a moment in my childhood when I fantasized about ruffles, red Mary Janes and perfectly curled hair. I also liked to climb things, hang upside down, and get dirty, so outfits like these would be impractical. When my mom was little, her mother dressed her in fussy outfits and scolded her when she did normal kid things that messed up clothes. As a result, my mom's approach to dressing me was very practical. I still had a few fancy dresses made by my grandmother for special occasions. My favorites had matching puff-pants underneath so I didn't have to worry about my panties showing.

[adidas]

@VeryNikeSeamstress The eldest Pomeroy daughter (Mary Grace) is 10.

[VanillaBean]

33 minutes ago, adidas said:

@VeryNikeSeamstress The eldest Pomeroy daughter (Mary Grace) is 10.

I have a 10 year old, and she would not put up with being dressed like that poor girl. She's just beginning to develop her own sense of style and has very firm opinions on what she will and won't wear. I see this as a developmental milestone, not as something to quash. She's (appropriately) separating from me and my choices and learning to be herself and make her own choices to express who SHE is in a safe way. It makes me sad to see those Pomeroy girls being denied that opportunity. 

[bal maiden]

I feel like those Pomeroy kids would fit right in to a horror movie. Imagine waking up to find  those four identikit girls with curls and matching dresses standing around your bed chanting. Then one raises a dagger...

[SassyPants]

I'll give the scriber of that Instagram (Pomeroy) post some credit. The content presented was well written. I'm assuming whoever wrote it received a decent education. 

I see it was Chelsea- 

[HarryPotterFan]

10 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

"Keep sweet" is also something FLDS child rape victims are told, so I think it has particularly dark implications. It's something FLDS escapees mention a lot because they heard and read those exact words over and over, so I do think it's worth distinguishing that particular phrase from general "be sweet" admonitions from the Duggars.

I do think that the Duggars teaching their kids to hide negative feelings is also harmful and I'm definitely not trying to minimize that.

I think that’s what confused me. The Duggar girls and other fundies like them are taught to suppress any emotion like anger or sadness. And they didn’t really have a choice about forgiving Joshley.

11 hours ago, JillyO said:

If anybody is intrigued but doesn't know about the Pomeroys, here is Chelsea's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chelsea_pomeroy/

It's public for now, but last time we were talking about her family on FJ she went private for a while. So enjoy it while you can, folks. Here's a sneak peek:

 

Oh, she’s public again? Those poor girls. Living dolls. I don’t know what that woman would do if she had a son. Is the baby ever seen without a bonnet?

Didn’t she make the kids have a Trump/America themed birthday party?

[Silas]

I've lurked on FJ for years and honestly I always get a bit surprised that so many people hate the bows. Not that it's wrong to hate the bows (my style has always been rather "tomboy" anyway so I get it) but they're just so popular in my circle! Homemade bows and tutus straight from Etsy make the moms in my orbit go wild. And these aren't women with particularly traditional/conservative values, they just like bright and frilly things.  Obviously the Duggars have deeper issues and what the bows/frills mean regarding their gender roles but overall, I'm just surprised so many people dislike the bows, Duggars aside. 

[NakedKnees]

Backtracking a bit to the "comfort in fundie clothes" topic- a part of me thinks the issues with narrow clothing choices for girls/women is that there is no "one-size-fits-all" for comfort. Some girls may prefer a Pomeroy-style done-up look, others may prefer loose frumpers or pants, same with short hair vs. long hair, and basically everything. The problem with comfort, I think, rests in expecting all kids to feel the same way. That's exactly what we see consistently fundie-family-to-fundie-family here: no matter what the "standards" are, ALL eleventy kids are expected to follow them.

I like @Escadora's description of being in the camp that clothes mean "more than nothing." Where I think the hivevagina here on the Duggar boards goes off the rails is in thinking certain clothing choices NECESSARILY mean a certain belief, like for example: Jinger wearing pants means she's moving away from Gothardism (we should really all know by now that Gothardites and similar groups of that ilk are frequently perfectly fine with women in pants). In that regard, clothes are really just clothes. When we can discuss clothing without jumping to conclusions in regards to beliefs, I like that, because yes: being skirts-only, or head-covering, or anything like that is "more than nothing" to me.

[justoneoftwo]

The FLDS are told that keeping sweet is a matter of life and death and that the world is ending shortly.  This is totally different than being told to be sweet.  The threat is an additional level of crazy.

[Joyfully Available]

Dear lord. My eyes... what did I just look at? Chelsea Pomeroy’s instagram. Wow. I am a fan of bonnets & smocked clothing but that was overkill!! All those matching get ups are more costume than just regular ole’ matching outfits for siblings. That is a mint of $$$ in hairbows & fancy outfits. I think I recognize some of the brands of children’s clothing there. I have a baby boy but I refuse to spend $50-$60++ on everyday play clothes for a single outfit. I wonder if they ever just get to wear comfy’s? 

Also, I know nothing at all about this family (looking into further investigation) but what is her husband’s profession? I’m assuming she’s a SAHM? I’m intrigued... 

[tabitha2]

Does she have any boys? If so how is she dressing him?

[JillyO]

2 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Oh, she’s public again? Those poor girls. Living dolls. I don’t know what that woman would do if she had a son. Is the baby ever seen without a bonnet?

Didn’t she make the kids have a Trump/America themed birthday party?

Yes. Unfortunatly. The baby just recently graduated from the bonnet to curls like her big sisters.

I made a new thread about the family. Come join us!

 

 

[sleepy_doggos]

scroll to about 25-25:30
No use of the word sweet but they are encouraged to fake it!

If you watch at 26:30, you'll find that not all the rules stuck in the duggar family, though not in the way one would hope. Josh sighting warning.

Also they say 'don't raise a hand to hit' very often, so they mean that only children can't hit?
I don't understand how you can teach your children hitting is wrong and then spank to enforce various preferred behaviors.

[kmachete14]

On the note of the Pomeroys: 

I think the mother has a sister who also has three daughters? They are currently in London. They do the same thing with the bonnets . . . 

I believe they belong to one of the charismatic Apostolic churches. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

1 hour ago, sleepy_doggos said:

If you watch at 26:30, you'll find that not all the rules stuck in the duggar family, though not in the way one would hope. Josh sighting warning.

Also they say 'don't raise a hand to hit' very often, so they mean that only children can't hit?
I don't understand how you can teach your children hitting is wrong and then spank to enforce various preferred behaviors.

well that one is funny in the fact that I believe it was the first special one of the younger boys is sitting on a wooden chair and Jessa comes and pushes him right off that thing. 

[nastyhobbitses]

4 hours ago, Silas said:

I've lurked on FJ for years and honestly I always get a bit surprised that so many people hate the bows. Not that it's wrong to hate the bows (my style has always been rather "tomboy" anyway so I get it) but they're just so popular in my circle! Homemade bows and tutus straight from Etsy make the moms in my orbit go wild. And these aren't women with particularly traditional/conservative values, they just like bright and frilly things.  Obviously the Duggars have deeper issues and what the bows/frills mean regarding their gender roles but overall, I'm just surprised so many people dislike the bows, Duggars aside. 

Yeah, I have no problem with putting cute shit on your baby. You only get a few years when you get to have full control over the wardrobe, so you might as well take advantage! I don't like enforcing ridiculous gender roles, I detest the slogan t-shirts and onesies that sexualize infants, but I hardly think it's child abuse to take some photos of your baby daughter in a fucking tutu because it's cute. 

Also, a little part of me is sad that I didn't run into Chelsea Pomeroy's sister in London. Not even gonna lie, I wore pants and the lowest-cut shirts I can get away with for work all damn week just in case. 

[tabitha2]

37 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

well that one is funny in the fact that I believe it was the first special one of the younger boys is sitting on a wooden chair and Jessa comes and pushes him right off that thing. 

 

Yeah. I don’t think Jessa was keeping sweet. Ever.

[SilverBeach]

5 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

The Duggar girls and other fundies like them are taught to suppress any emotion like anger or sadness. And they didn’t really have a choice about forgiving Joshley.

Therein is the essence of being sweet or keeping sweet in a fundie context. Females are not permitted to show anger or displeasure despite the provocation. Except for in the Brown family. Stepford-person behavior is taught as godly and is drilled into all fundie youth but moreso females, starting at a very young age.

I don't care how people dress or accessorize their babies/toddlers. I would never downvote someone because they liked bows or anything else. Other people's likes/dislikes don't validate or invalidate mine (cilantro anybody)? To each her own.

[CorruptionInc.]

I am an adult that is someone who often dresses like the lazy person I am; usually during summer I will bring out the wild patterns and sometimes bows / hair flowers... although you wouldn't catch me dead in a bonnet.

Also, if I had children, I wouldn't be putting them in Bonnets.

[Mama Mia]

1 hour ago, CorruptionInc. said:

I am an adult that is someone who often dresses like the lazy person I am; usually during summer I will bring out the wild patterns and sometimes bows / hair flowers... although you wouldn't catch me dead in a bonnet.

Also, if I had children, I wouldn't be putting them in Bonnets.

Bonnets were popular for a bit when I was having babies. I liked them because they kept them cooler in the sun. For the ones who’d wear them. 

[feministxtian]

According to the mother, some relative of hers (who she stopped talking to) sent a dress when I was about a year old. The mother put it on me and I tore it off. IF the mother could have gotten away with it, I'd have been dressed like the Pomeroy girls. I did 12 years of Catholic schools and hell will freeze over before I wear plaid, pleats or navy blue knee socks...white blouses are also on the outs. So far so good, in 37 years (damn!) I've managed to avoid them. Once I started making money, I bought my own clothes. Drove the mother nuts. Country Legend got most of my money...

[FakePigtails]

n/m, meant to post in Pomeroy thread.

[Ivycoveredtower]

came across this article. 

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/a22747327/jinger-duggar-instagram-comments/

[CatholicLite]

9 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

came across this article. 

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/a22747327/jinger-duggar-instagram-comments/

Yikes. I don't believe in parent shaming, but there is some good advice! She shouldn't get rid of comments just because she (as a new mom) doesn't quite have her act together.

[Ivycoveredtower]

3 minutes ago, CatholicLite said:

Yikes. I don't believe in parent shaming, but there is some good advice! She shouldn't get rid of comments just because she (as a new mom) doesn't quite have her act together.

think how she'd react if she got some of the comments Jessa does. Yikes.