JinJer and Felicity 43: No Homebirth, No Problem

[lizzybee]

I don't have daughters but I've said in the past that I'm in the minority here that I think the bows are cute. From experience with my much younger sister though, I'd say big bows typically don't last longer than just for you to snap a picture if you're lucky. 

As a child of the 80's I had so many bows. There's a professional photo of me with a shoe string bow so big it looked like a neon rainbow colored crown. I have a big ole bow attached in so many pictures. 

I have an acquaintance that hand makes bows for little girls, and I would probably be handing over a good bit of money if I had a daughter because I think they're adorable. They're also pretty understated in comparison to the ones we often discuss here. 

 

Spoiler

 

[melon]

59 minutes ago, lizzybee said:

I don't have daughters but I've said in the past that I'm in the minority here that I think the bows are cute. From experience with my much younger sister though, I'd say big bows typically don't last longer than just for you to snap a picture if you're lucky. 

As a child of the 80's I had so many bows. There's a professional photo of me with a shoe string bow so big it looked like a neon rainbow colored crown. I have a big ole bow attached in so many pictures. 

I have an acquaintance that hand makes bows for little girls, and I would probably be handing over a good bit of money if I had a daughter because I think they're adorable. They're also pretty understated in comparison to the ones we often discuss here. 

 

  Hide contents

 

I never had a daughter,and I don't have any sisters.I think the bows are cute,too.If I do have a granddaughter,one day,I'd love to put bows in her hair.

10 hours ago, emmeline said:

@fluffernutter I get headaches from head bands too. I cringe seeing them on babies but I think that's largely me projecting based on how I'd feel. 

Lucky me also gets headaches when my hair gets too long. Hair like Jessa's would have me in a constant migraine. 

I don't go for putting headbands on babies all the time but I don't think it does any harm. My only worry would be leaving one on while baby is sleeping and/or unsupervised, in case it slips down over their mouth/nose or around their neck. 

Headbands give me headaches,too.Long hair was a headache for me,s well.

I'm a breast cancer survivor.I had a lumpectomy,then 28 radiation treatments,then took tamoxifen for 5 years.I was glad I did not need chemo,for a few reasons.I have my hair is straight,I had very long hair as a teen.I decided to grown my hair out ,to donate my hair for women or children with cancer.I donated three times,two 10 inch ponytails,and one 12 inch ponytail.I can't tell you how much long hair annoyed me...it got caught on stuff,it got in my face,and it was hot in the summer,I was glad to get it cut!

[Imaginary_Wonderland]

@lizzybee Those are type of bows I like, and think they look really cute.

But I don't understand the massive bigger than the kids head type of bows that seem popular lately. When I first joined FJ and started to see them here on nearly all the baby posts, I assumed it was a crazy fundie thing. But in the last year or so, I have seen the odd photo of babies in Ireland with it too, including my cousin, so maybe the trend is spreading or at least more widespread and popular than I originally thought.

[Aauel]

Once upon a time I was a very young new mom to a beautiful bald baby girl. I bought many a headband with bows. I dressed her up for Christmas when she was a couple months old, and she wore a headband for most of the day. When I took it off her that evening, she had a dent all the way around her head. It completely freaked me out. It went away by the next day,  but it reminded me of how malleable baby's heads are. I never put one on her again. Not saying they are good or bad. I think they are cute,  just threw all mine away for my peace of mind.

[Rachel333]

There's a picture that's over a century old now of my great-grandmother as a little girl wearing a bow literally bigger than her head, so it's definitely not a completely new thing.  I don't know if it was common to put huge bows on newborns, though.

[louisa05]

@lizzybee Those bows are cute. BUT teachers in about K-3 spend a good portion of their days putting them back in or picking them up off the floor and trying to remember who they belong to. The girls often do not know. Mom put it in the back and they forgot what it looked like. Because they are 6 or so. 

All the time when I sub that age level. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

I love bows.

annnndddd.... here come the downvotes.

 

This topic has been discussed TO DEATH on FJ. Death and beyond.

[tabitha2]

Um, why do you think people are so eager to downvote you all the time?  Several People have already mentioned Small bows and bows and moderation are no big deal and lots of people have already said they love them as well. But I agree this convo all the time is repetitiou.   

[SapphireSlytherin]

7 minutes ago, tabitha2 said:

Um, why do you think people are so eager to downvote you all the time?  Several People have already mentioned Small bows and bows and moderation are no big deal and lots of people have already said they love them as well. But I agree this convo all the time is repetitiou.   

Because, historically, I get downvoted a LOT more than any other person on this board. I have strong opinions that are unpopular. lol

[Letizia]

I’m a  southern “bow mom” simply because I just like how they look. I didn’t  give a fuck about whether or not someone thought she was a boy I simply like big ‘ol bows and pink. The ones I had when she was fresh out the uterus were super soft and stretchy and put no more pressure in her head than a little hat would have. She is no longer a little baby and now has her own color preferences  but I still stick a bow on her because I like it and she doesn’t say no. The first time she says no to a bow then bye bye bows. 

[louisa05]

4 minutes ago, Letizia said:

I’m a  southern “bow mom” simply because I just like how they look. I didn’t  give a fuck about whether or not someone thought she was a boy I simply like big ‘ol bows and pink. The ones I had when she was fresh out the uterus were super soft and stretchy and put no more pressure in her head than a little hat would have. She is no longer a little baby and now has her own color preferences  but I still stick a bow on her because I like it and she doesn’t say no. The first time she says no to a bow then bye bye bows. 

IME, the girls wearing them by the time they get to school love them. They like to show them to you (as if you'd miss them!). The only reason they do not recognize them is because they forget which one they are wearing or don't realize it fell out if it is in back--especially if the hair is secured with an elastic with a bow over that. 

[finnlassie]

In the topic of kids being comfortable/uncomfortable and parents recognising that...

My nephew absolutely hates it when he has to wear shoes, and sometimes all clothes make him really upset and he'll let you know. It's been like that for a year. Now in his early toddlerhood he's learnt to live with clothing when in public spaces, but the moment he gets home it's most likely naked time.

He's also very good at pulling his pants down and back up. Poor wee thing threw a fit when his daycare nanny tried to help him take his pants off for potty time. But nope, he got very angry at him for trying to help. I guess not a lot of 2-year-olds are fully capable of telling when they need to go potty and do their business independently. I mean, his brother was TOTALLY different at that very age, still very iffy about potty training.

[Hashtag Blessed]

I think bows are cuter than the giant faux flowers we've seen on babies' heads. The picture that @lizzybee posted is super cute. I'd love to use bows like that, but I also vividly remember my hair getting ripped out by barrettes when I was a kid, and the stupid things falling out constantly because my hair is too thick. I have too much hair for a headband to even contain, so I don't do those either. I could do ribbons tied around elastics. That's it. So if my kid has hair like mine, the accessories are going to be pretty limited.

I don't have any feelings about other people putting bows and headbands on a baby's head. Sometimes they're cute, sometimes they're ugly. I don't like the hot pink one on Felicity but that's just because it looks a bit 90's to me, and not in a cute way. Baby hair accessories just seem like a hassle to me, and easily lost. I'm sure I'll get a few as gifts from family if we have a girl so I might try them out if they're cute. No one is going to give me bows for a boy though, which I honestly think is such a shame. My hypothetical son deserves to look pretty too!

[mysweetetc]

18 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

Is there someone here that used those kind of bows on their baby? Can you explain why to me? I’m trying so hard not to judge, but is it really that important that your daughter is never ever mistaken for a boy?  

Guilty! I wouldn't have cared if my daughter were mistaken for a boy, but I put gigantic bows on her right from the get-go. Now she's seven and absolutely loves hair accessories (including huge bows) and having me do her hair. She's known for them at school. I didn't do it for any reason other than I loved the way they looked. Obviously when she was little if she was napping, I took it off, and if she ever had shown any signs that she disliked them (some friends have baby girls who just yank them off), I would have stopped. I just love them. I never considered that anyone might judge me for that.

[louisa05]

20 minutes ago, finnlassie said:

In the topic of kids being comfortable/uncomfortable and parents recognising that...

My nephew absolutely hates it when he has to wear shoes, and sometimes all clothes make him really upset and he'll let you know. It's been like that for a year. Now in his early toddlerhood he's learnt to live with clothing when in public spaces, but the moment he gets home it's most likely naked time.

He's also very good at pulling his pants down and back up. Poor wee thing threw a fit when his daycare nanny tried to help him take his pants off for potty time. But nope, he got very angry at him for trying to help. I guess not a lot of 2-year-olds are fully capable of telling when they need to go potty and do their business independently. I mean, his brother was TOTALLY different at that very age, still very iffy about potty training.

We had a stripper in the 2 year old room once when I worked in daycare. She would just take her clothes off randomly--inside, outside, at the lunch table. Whenever. Her mother told us a hilarious story about her getting her shirt off and throwing it in the grocery store while her back was turned because she was getting something in a freezer. An elderly woman lectured her on her bad parenting skills and while that was going on, the child managed to get her shorts off. One time, she managed to throw her shoe over the playground fence all the way onto the very busy main city thoroughfare the daycare was located on. Another teacher had to play dodge cars trying to retrieve it. 

My cousin also hated clothes as a child. She was playing in a vacant lot next door to them once at about four years old and a neighbor called my aunt to tell her she was totally naked out there. Her older brother was supposed to be watching her, but he had decided it wasn't a big enough deal to interrupt himself and his friend to tell mom. My aunt would try to get her to at least wear a swimsuit bottom when playing outside in the summer so the neighbors didn't freak out, but it didn't always work. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

5 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

We had a stripper in the 2 year old room once when I worked in daycare. She would just take her clothes off randomly--inside, outside, at the lunch table. Whenever. Her mother told us a hilarious story about her getting her shirt off and throwing it in the grocery store while her back was turned because she was getting something in a freezer. An elderly woman lectured her on her bad parenting skills and while that was going on, the child managed to get her shorts off. One time, she managed to throw her shoe over the playground fence all the way onto the very busy main city thoroughfare the daycare was located on. Another teacher had to play dodge cars trying to retrieve it. 

My cousin also hated clothes as a child. She was playing in a vacant lot next door to them once at about four years old and a neighbor called my aunt to tell her she was totally naked out there. Her older brother was supposed to be watching her, but he had decided it wasn't a big enough deal to interrupt himself and his friend to tell mom. My aunt would try to get her to at least wear a swimsuit bottom when playing outside in the summer so the neighbors didn't freak out, but it didn't always work. 

I would have been all nope that shoe is gone forever now. 

[lizzybee]

27 minutes ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

No one is going to give me bows for a boy though, which I honestly think is such a shame. My hypothetical son deserves to look pretty too!

Yes exactly. I need some cute accessories for my boys to waste money on! 

[Carm_88]

I think the bows are ok. If when Felicity is old enough, she decides that she hates them and is constantly ripping them off and they insist on putting them back on her...well that's a different thing. 

I do have flashbacks of those awful 90s clips with huge flowers or fake pearls or something on them. My mother used to drag the clip along my head and dig them in as tightly as she could. God I hated it! 

[louisa05]

27 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I would have been all nope that shoe is gone forever now. 

The child was new to the daycare at the time and we didn't know how the mother would react. Some would go ballistic on you for something lost like that. The teacher managed to get it, but it had been ran over. Fortunately, the mother knew her child well and told us that was not the first lost or destroyed shoe. Not long before, her husband had foolishly driven with the window next to the car seat down and a shoe had been lost forever. Then she told us the grocery store story. After that, we didn't feel so bad if she came to get her and she was without clothing but a diaper. 

We were totally impressed by her arm strength. It was a pretty high fence and the street was close but not that close. I have always assumed she grew up to be a hell of a softball pitcher or something of that nature in her teens. If they could get her to leave her uniform on, 

[Baxter]

I remember wearing some barrettes and headbands when I was little. But I also had some sensory issues so there was only some types that I would agree to wear. If the kid is okay with it, then it's fine. Some bows are nice and some are hideous just like all clothing items. I think a lot of the bows that you see are really for pictures only. I don't have a daughter, only a son at this point so I'm a bit sad I don't get to do all the cute dresses and shoes and accessories, etc. But there is more cute stuff out there for boys now I think. My son had an outfit that came with a bowtie when he was a baby. I dressed him in it when we went over to my parents' house for dinner because he looked adorable and I knew my mom would get a kick out of it. I think he had the bow tie on for about 15 minutes before we took it off so that he would be more comfortable. I think that this is what happens with a lot of baby and children's accessories. 99% of my son's clothes are meant to be comfortable and can be worn wherever while still being cute.

Now, of course there are always those crazy parents that will flip out if their kids take off or wreck whatever uncomfortable clothing or accessories that they are insisting the kid should wear because they think it looks nice. This is not exclusive to fundies. I guess the big difference with fundies is that they very often don't care about what their kid really wants in so many other areas so it's likely they don't care what the baby or child wants to wear either.

[justoneoftwo]

I think most baby accessories are more comfortable than their adult counterparts.  We used to dress LO in a tux, because it was a tux onsie and it was soooo cute, and he seemed to care exactly 0% if he was in it or something else (unless it was hot out).

[Letizia]

57 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

We had a stripper in the 2 year old room once when I worked in daycare. She would just take her clothes off randomly--inside, outside, at the lunch table. Whenever. Her mother told us a hilarious story about her getting her shirt off and throwing it in the grocery store while her back was turned because she was getting something in a freezer. An elderly woman lectured her on her bad parenting skills and while that was going on, the child managed to get her shorts off. One time, she managed to throw her shoe over the playground fence all the way onto the very busy main city thoroughfare the daycare was located on. Another teacher had to play dodge cars trying to retrieve it. 

My cousin also hated clothes as a child. She was playing in a vacant lot next door to them once at about four years old and a neighbor called my aunt to tell her she was totally naked out there. Her older brother was supposed to be watching her, but he had decided it wasn't a big enough deal to interrupt himself and his friend to tell mom. My aunt would try to get her to at least wear a swimsuit bottom when playing outside in the summer so the neighbors didn't freak out, but it didn't always work. 

Flashback to why my mother and I left a Winn-Dixie when I was 4 and never returned.My mother always bought all of my clothes including underwear at this out of town store called Peaches n’Cream. I had outgrown my underwear and they were too tight. Mother had been informed of this and before the trip could take place i was trapped in super uncomfortable underwear for a week because God forbid she buy some locally or just let me not wear any.So I was standing in the checkout line with her,wearing a little dress,when I decided Ihad enough. I yanked the underwear off, threw them up in the air and proclaimed, “Mama I’m airing out!”. Fortunately this led to my dad being so horrified that she left me stuck in uncomfortable underwear for a week that he took me to Roses(similiar to Wal-Mart) and got me all the Little Mermaid underwear my heart desired. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I have no idea get so weirded out by infants or toddlers missing articles of clothing? It is so common for them to kick off shoes, pull of socks or get their pants or top off. I never say anything to the parent, unless I've found a child's article of clothing on the floor then I would pick it up and ask the parent if it was theirs.

[wild little fox]

All three of us were notorious for taking our clothes off. When we lived next to a farm I would go outside to play in the irrigation mud, losing my clothes. When we lived in the city I went to the store by myself, pulling my wagon, and had a hand full of grocery receipts. On the way, I got hot and started taking my clothes off and putting them in the wagon. A neighbor found me and told mom where I was. He wasn't about to put a half naked toddler in his car! My youngest brother was peeing off the front porch when the city bus went by. Middle sibling woke up from his nap, he frequently wet the bed so he stripped his clothes off, then decided to walk down to the neighbor's to play their piano. Gave the grandmother quite the scare! Yes... We were feral. 

[BernRul]

On 08/13/2018 at 12:17 PM, justoneoftwo said:

I'm sorry things were so hard for your sister, but PPD is NOT PTSD from childbirth.  I had an easy birth and was maybe overwhelmed at one point but in no way was I traumatized.  I also had PPD.  Its dangerous to act like one is a requirement for the other.  For some people they may have PTSD and it may be similar to PPD, but its not the same.

I think my sister was mostly joking, not that I can always tell.