Josiah and Lauren Part 9: Where Are They Honeymooning?

[Beermeet]

12 hours ago, CherylV said:

Exactly. I lived this. 19 and  married a virgin to someone who I had not dated long. I dropped out of college for him and moved cross country. My dad said “1 down, 3 to go”...I am telling my girls not to marry the first guy as a teenager. 

I expected that since I waited and was a virgin that sex would be amazing. It wasn’t it was painful and horrible. Penis was shocking - I had all little sisters (yes I was basically a sister mom). I  also didn’t get to say no to sex ever in that marriage.  The entitled male I married was raised it was his right and he didn’t have to bother with kissing or foreplay just go right to it. It I tried saying no and I was forced. Even violently. It was easier to lie there and cry. I went to Drs and counselors trying t find out what was wrong with me. They couldn’t find anything. 

Tha jerk divorced ME after a year because I was bad at sex, I was devastated. Waited thought I did  things Gods way and not only was sex awful when it was supposed to be better  but I was no longer pure and divorced. 

Next guy I dated I had sex before marriage because I thought I was  broken . It didn’t hurt that was my baseline. It was a relief it didn’t hurt - only I got pregnant and married HIM to do the right thing and he turned out to be physically (though not sexually abusive) and wanted me to have as many babies as God gives us. I had 5 babies on 4.5 years - last pregnancy was twins and I hemmoraged and  had a tubal after that. 

We split up after he knocked me out and broke my nose badly and messed up my nexkndosks  - I have chronic pain still and had to have a surgery to fix my nose (done a decade later and had chronic sinus infections for years because the insides were messed up so bad). I became a single parent of 5 kids with no local family when they were ages 2-7. I also lost my friend group as big husbands were from same church group and at that point it was assumed my fault. 

I single parented for  8 years before I met my husband and remarried. Hard as hell and involved food banks.   I am scAred for the Duggar girls - I blame a lot of the mess and pain I went through on the whole purity movement and culture that it’s ok to get married at 19 and drop out of school. I get the disillusionment that comes from doing everything “right” and it’s not the perfect siutiom that’s promised. 

My current husband took on 5 extra kids and I’ve added 2 stepkids for a combined 7. However- I’m still the traditional role and dependent on him and he’s a trump supporter and far more conservative than Inrealized when we were dating - I left Canada, healthcare and subsidized housing...we are making things work and when he’s mad he threatens to leave me or says “If you don’t like _____ there’s the door feel free to leave” type stuff which is emotional abuse since house is in his name - he’s the one with the business - I just work low income part time. 

I hope Lauren is just tired but I worry and Anna my heart breaks for - I have all “M’s” also and their dad was physically abusive  and cheated on me and it was devastating and NOT in the public eye. It’s also damn hard to have that many young kids and no career and jump off alone. I should have left sooner but it’s such a daunting task esp seeing divorce as a sin. My parents never told anyone at their church about divorce #1 too shameful.  

 

Thank you for sharing your story.  I am so sorry you go through all this.  I hope you know this is NOT your fault.  You did nothing wrong.  #1 divorcing you was a blessing or you'd still be with that awful rapist.  You are a very strong woman to have left #2. And you took care of your children and provided with no mans help.  So, props to you!

I wish you the best and can you take some classes or vocational school as the kids get older so you can have a better income in the future?  I'm sure you've thought about all that and maybe it's not for you but, I just want to encourage you in case no one else does.  You have worth!  Blessings, sister.

[CherylV]

Thank you I’m subbing in schools as a para educator and admin assistant and applying for jobss as they come up. Its nice to work school hours and days. Plan to  go back to school again if  don't land a school secretary job or other better full time job by the time my kids are through school. 

I was lucky to have subsidized child care and subsidized housing and free health care in Canada as well as other neighbors who were single moms who I traded child care with. I did work though - I didn’t want to model welfare. I couldn’t have done it with that many kids without the social safety net however. 

[Iamtheway]

On 7/9/2018 at 7:14 PM, CarrotCake said:

Im actually travelling right now. I’m in Bosnia at the moment and I love it. Rest of the trip involves Croatia, Slovenia and Austria.

We’re travelling right now too and are heading to Slovenia tomorrow! 

On 7/10/2018 at 12:00 AM, Karma said:

I’ve been there! (Back in 1996). I haven’t been to Uluru though, whereas I bet many of you FJers who’ve visited Australia have been.

Isn’t that always the case though? You travel far away to see stuff and forget about the stuff travel to your home to see.

I find I have done most of my sightseeing around home when people have been visiting from overseas. 

On 7/10/2018 at 5:45 PM, scoutsadie said:

Basically, it's "Thank you all for your good wishes and comments; we're so excited to be married finally - it still feels like a dream.  We can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us and we're so grateful that He brought us together; marriage is a blessing and we are so excited to share our future memories with you.  Thanks again."

I think I could have written this without seeing the video. 

On 7/11/2018 at 5:06 AM, PennySycamore said:

We missed out on the ball because it sold out within minutes.  They have a workshop where they teach the dances.

OMG! I need this!

[Beermeet]

13 minutes ago, CherylV said:

Thank you I’m subbing in schools as a para educator and admin assistant and applying for jobss as they come up. Its nice to work school hours and days. Plan to  go back to school again if  don't land a school secretary job or other better full time job by the time my kids are through school. 

I was lucky to have subsidized child care and subsidized housing and free health care in Canada as well as other neighbors who were single moms who I traded child care with. I did work though - I didn’t want to model welfare. I couldn’t have done it with that many kids without the social safety net however. 

Oh, that's awesome! I've always wanted to get in at my kids school district for the perfect matching of money and being home when my kids are! I had no such luck since I'm terrible at typing and haven't seen an opening for even a lunch lady.  Fingers crossed for you!!!

[Karma]

5 minutes ago, Iamtheway said:

 

I find I have done most of my sightseeing around home when people have been visiting from overseas. 

So true, particularly when you have young children.  In the last couple of years though, with our kids grown up, mr karma and I have made an effort to get out and be tourists in our own city - Sydney - every couple of months (which doesn’t sound very often, but with family commitments and his work travel schedule it’s the best we can do).  The government introduced a $2.50 cap on public transport on a Sunday which makes it a cheap day out, and I bought a book of Harbour and Coast walks, and we are gradually working our way through that.  We have really enjoyed getting out and exploring...his condition being that we have to end up at a pub for a beer or two.  

[Jigsaw3]

15 hours ago, CherylV said:

My current husband took on 5 extra kids and I’ve added 2 stepkids for a combined 7. However- I’m still the traditional role and dependent on him and he’s a trump supporter and far more conservative than Inrealized when we were dating - I left Canada, healthcare and subsidized housing...we are making things work and when he’s mad he threatens to leave me or says “If you don’t like _____ there’s the door feel free to leave” type stuff which is emotional abuse since house is in his name - he’s the one with the business - I just work low income part time.

The house may be in his name, but that doesn't mean it's his. In most states, the house that a married couple live in while married is considered marital property, even if one spouse brings it to the marriage and it's in one name only. That means that you have a significant claim on it and he can't kick you out. And in community property states, you may very well have a right to half his business as well.

I'm not saying this to encourage you to divorce him, nor do I think you should tell him this. I'm telling you this to give you strength, and to take this weapon away from him. The next time he threatens to kick you out, I hope that you can feel more secure and stand up to him as needed.  And if he does divorce you or try to kick you out, don't walk away penniless: claim your financial rights.

[TakingBibleClasses]

If you don't mind giving the Dillards clicks, they just posted a bunch of pictures and some videos of Lauren & Josiah's wedding. Looks like Jana was a bridesmaid, which surprised me. Here's a pic of the whole wedding party.

[Beermeet]

What in the world is going on in that picture?

[SapphireSlytherin]

1 minute ago, Beermeet said:

What in the world is going on in that picture?

It looks like some sort of game at the reception?

[TakingBibleClasses]

2 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

What in the world is going on in that picture?

Caption: "Playing a bridal party game of Jeopardy"

[Starrynight]

My thoughts on the wedding pics: 1. the Duggar grandkids are cuties

2. what is the shoe game?

3. Michelle’s dress looks unfortunate from what little I saw of it.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Is that woman standing next to Lauren's little sister Joy? Is that Jessa standing behind the wedding party in a bridesmaids dress? Looks like Jinger & Jill weren't bridesmaids, Jinger I get being so far away and eleventy months pregnant looks like a fairly normal sized wedding party 7 bridesmaids (I can't say much as I had 6). 

I that isn't Jessa where were the Seawald's I didn't even see Spurgie or Henry? We saw Jill & OfJill, Jill & boob, Anna & some M kids Jason, Austin and Lauren & Josiah and some randos.  I saw what I THINK was Joy (could have been Jessa, those two are starting to look so much alike) I wonder if she and Jessa were nursing the boys when they were eating what looks like dinner. Otherwise there was a lot of everyone missing, far to much Dillard's for someone elses wedding, but is anyone really surprised? 

[CancerBomb]

When has Michelle ever dressed in a way that's modest and flattering? You can be modest and still stylish. Also, of all the Duggar bridesmaids' dresses, these might be my favorites, these or Anna's two-toned dresses. They're really pretty. And @TakingBibleClasses, Jana is like the official Duggar Bridesmaid Representative(TM), and so she just HAS to be in the bridal party, otherwise how would anything ever get done? Poor Jana. 

[tamjamb]

Michelle’s dress is ghastly.  

[SamiKatz]

4 minutes ago, tamjamb said:

Michelle’s dress is ghastly.  

Michelle's dress is not in any way, shape or form, remotely flattering on her.  

[CancerBomb]

Oh dear heavens. It looks like Amy Farrah Fowler's wedding dress decided it wanted to become a minidress. It's such an odd cut and length for the style, and with her body type it's just really a tragedy dress. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Laurens mom looks stunning. Are the two couples flanking the parents Laurens aunts and uncles? 

[Kangaroo]

29 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Is that Jessa standing behind the wedding party in a bridesmaids dress? 

It's probably Joy, not Jessa in the background. We got a congratulations video with Joy in the bridesmaids dress (and she looked remarkably like Jessa)

 

[xenobia]

My likes: 

1. There seems to be a groomsman in a wheelchair. Never seen people with disabilities at a fundie wedding before. (Perhaps just me not watching carefully). 

2. Laurens weddingdress. 

3. They are sitting down. There are tables. They are eating things. 

[ViolaSebastian]

Michelle's dress is a step up from the astronaut-shooting-into-orbit dress at Jill's wedding. That's all I got. 

[Audrey2]

6 minutes ago, ViolaSebastian said:

Michelle's dress is a step up from the astronaut-shooting-into-orbit dress at Jill's wedding. That's all I got. 

I'll add that it's the shortest thing I think I've seen her in. It's a long way from when her knees needed to be blurred out.

[BernRul]

On the topic of Lauren being disillusioned about sex or Josiah being an insensitive male, did anyone mention that maybe the problem is Josiah, not her? Like maybe, for whatever reason, Josiah was the one feeling awkward/weird about it and they didn't do it or it didn't go as planned. Lauren could feel emotional about that, because their culture blames any problems in the bedroom on women not submitting enough. She could think she's doing something wrong because he isn't reacting like a stereotypical guy.

I'm not saying I think that's what happened, I just don't think we should assume that Josiah is hyper into sex and Lauren's not just because of their gender. Josiah is a person too, and he might also feel uncomortable, embarrassed, or not ready for sex. 

Also it is really unfair to throw all of Josh's sins on Siah. They are brothers, of course they have some similarities; that doesn't mean that Josiah is a predator. I see some similarities between them, but I also see a lot of differences as well. For one thing, Josiah always struck me as way more sensitive than Josh. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

1 hour ago, TakingBibleClasses said:

If you don't mind giving the Dillards clicks, they just posted a bunch of pictures and some videos of Lauren & Josiah's wedding. Looks like Jana was a bridesmaid, which surprised me. Here's a pic of the whole wedding party.

this photo looks like it *could* be the whole bridal party, but I also distinctly recall the People article saying 8 bridesmaids. i think many on FJ inferred 8ish groomsmen....but I only see 7 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen in this pic. I am ridiculously curious. haha. 

I'd guess from L to R.....Kendra, Lauren C?, that one Duggar friend who I won't name but who we recently-ish saw post a photo w/ bride-Lauren on insta, Lily Swanson, Joy in the background, other Swanson Sister, Jana. Lauren, Si. Rando dude in a non-matched suit. Headless groomsman, Austin, Joe, corner of a groomsman's head, wheelchair groomsman, Jed. I'm sure Si had Jer and James on his side as well somewhere. 

[freethemall]

@Starrynight the shoe game is where they each hold one of each others and their own shoes and then they're asked questions to see how well they know each other like "who is most likely to eat everything on the plate" and they raise the shoe of who they think it is. It's popular. And dumb.

Jeopardy?????

Josiah was adamant about no pranks? Hasn't he been responsible for pranks at other weddings and isn't he known as a jokester? 

Standing on the fake getaway car her dress looks prettier than any other picture we've seen, you can finally see the detail on the back.

 

[VBOY9977]

43 minutes ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

Laurens mom looks stunning. Are the two couples flanking the parents Laurens aunts and uncles? 

One of the other couples (on the left) is David Benjamin and his wife. The Benjamin brothers are pretty famous in fundie world so they had to milk the fact that one of them was there. He looks like he’s hosting Jeopardy

1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Is that woman standing next to Lauren's little sister Joy? Is that Jessa standing behind the wedding party in a bridesmaids dress? Looks like Jinger & Jill weren't bridesmaids, Jinger I get being so far away and eleventy months pregnant looks like a fairly normal sized wedding party 7 bridesmaids (I can't say much as I had 6). 

I that isn't Jessa where were the Seawald's I didn't even see Spurgie or Henry? We saw Jill & OfJill, Jill & boob, Anna & some M kids Jason, Austin and Lauren & Josiah and some randos.  I saw what I THINK was Joy (could have been Jessa, those two are starting to look so much alike) I wonder if she and Jessa were nursing the boys when they were eating what looks like dinner. Otherwise there was a lot of everyone missing, far to much Dillard's for someone elses wedding, but is anyone really surprised? 

I think Joy is the one that’s behind Lauren’s little sis since we already know she was a bridesmaid