Bro Gary Hawkins 7: Asking For Thoughts and Chairs

[Lillymuffin]

4 minutes ago, UnFunderful said:

ask for his autograph and a selfie, or invite him to have a seat in one of my camp chairs for a long drawn out conversation.

 

 

Not even for all the weens in ME (or upstate NY). 

[larrysmom]

17 minutes ago, UnFunderful said:

Can you imagine if Bro Gary knocked on your door?  I am not sure if I would scream and shut the door, ask for his autograph and a selfie, or invite him to have a seat in one of my camp chairs for a long drawn out conversation.

 

 

I'd be afraid I'd just blurt out "How 'bout them good weens?! HAAAAAY-MUN!!" uncontrollably. Seeing as how there is at least one KJV-only Baptist church in my town, this could happen someday...

[Yogi]

He keeps posting that dang Hawking flyer over and over again!!! I’m shocked no one has told him about the typo, then again, they are not the most talkative bunch. 

 

[mango_fandango]

Someone HAS mentioned it. No reply though.

 

[keepercjr]

So the bro Gary hawking family finished passing our fliers with a lady from the church.  She appears to be a single mom of 2 boys and is into.... reborn dolls!

[PumaLover]

52 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Someone HAS mentioned it. No reply though.

 

Um… does Darlene speak Weenese? I've read that like 3 times and still don't know what she's trying to say!

 

(And ugh–Reborns!!!!)

[MayMay1123]

I thought the little boy was a doll with no face...i think the reborn dolls have permanently scarred me!

[AliceInFundyland]

 Baby Bro, as a reborn. Today’s nightmare. Love this thread.

[Candydandy]

Bad quality video again. At one point Bro looked like a bear waving his arms while walking back and forth to the podium. Thats it nothing else.

[Ms. Squishels]

I think the problem with the videos this week is that she keeps doing FB live videos.  So I think that would mean you have to be connected to the internet.  And I'm thinking maybe the church didn't have a very good WIFI connection.  I think she should have just videoed his sermon and then posted it later.  I missed a whole week's worth of HAYMAYUNs and I need a little entertainment.  Haymayun and hallaluyer!!

[PumaLover]

I feel kind of bad for calling Darlene out now. Now that I'm on the desktop she looks elderly… so that's probably why. My own grandma just turned 92 and still doesn't understand how I'm not home when she calls me on my cell phone. <3

I will still snark on the Bro, though, because he thinks he deserves money for nothing (hey Jill!) and cars for free.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks - we gots to prey for the lady they been done workin on for a couple of months.  She done come to Church but left unsaved!   Run lady run!  Run like a son of a bitch.  Don't stop!

 

[Dandruff]

Does he or does he not know how to spell his own last name?

7 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Baby Bro, as a reborn. Today’s nightmare. Love this thread.

I can just imagine...same looks with 360 degree head swivel and a full diaper.

[mango_fandango]

25 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Does he or does he not know how to spell his own last name?

I can just imagine...same looks with 360 degree head swivel and a full diaper.

With a bowl of weens, of course. 

 

[Jug Band Baby]

I put off reading this bro-ween stuff for a while, and am having a sleepless night, caught up on the Rods 'n' Naugs, decided to dip a toe in, and in just the 2nd post of the 1st thread, I started laughing so hard that I woke my kids up, even though they're upstairs and I'm not.   This... 

 Is he really for real?  Like, for reals-real?  He even calls himself BRO!  And, hey, Bro?  Where I come from, weeny-gravy refers to some other white stuff that a good, god-fearin' pro-whitin'-but-not-a-racist MAN'S man, but not for men because GOD and BIBLE and def gonna be homophobe like yourself might not want to put in your mouth.  I mean, bro, like, really.

I can't stop laughing.  Is it all like this?

[pamplemousse]

21 minutes ago, Jug Band Baby said:

I put off reading this bro-ween stuff for a while, and am having a sleepless night, caught up on the Rods 'n' Naugs, decided to dip a toe in, and in just the 2nd post of the 1st thread, I started laughing so hard that I woke my kids up, even though they're upstairs and I'm not.   This... 

 Is he really for real?  Like, for reals-real?  He even calls himself BRO!  And, hey, Bro?  Where I come from, weeny-gravy refers to some other white stuff that a good, god-fearin' pro-whitin'-but-not-a-racist MAN'S man, but not for men because GOD and BIBLE and def gonna be homophobe like yourself might not want to put in your mouth.  I mean, bro, like, really.

I can't stop laughing.  Is it all like this?

This guy is for reals-real. Some things, you just cannot make up.  Make sure you pee and have nothing in your mouth before reading these threads, lest you (a) pee your pants laughing or (b) laugh and spit your drink out over the keyboard.  

[Lillymuffin]

28 minutes ago, Jug Band Baby said:

I put off reading this bro-ween stuff for a while, and am having a sleepless night, caught up on the Rods 'n' Naugs, decided to dip a toe in, and in just the 2nd post of the 1st thread, I started laughing so hard that I woke my kids up, even though they're upstairs and I'm not.   This... 

 Is he really for real?  Like, for reals-real?  He even calls himself BRO!  And, hey, Bro?  Where I come from, weeny-gravy refers to some other white stuff that a good, god-fearin' pro-whitin'-but-not-a-racist MAN'S man, but not for men because GOD and BIBLE and def gonna be homophobe like yourself might not want to put in your mouth.  I mean, bro, like, really.

I can't stop laughing.  Is it all like this?

Buckle up, Sis. You have 7 threads of good weens awaiting you. HAYMAYUN!!!! 

[MayMay1123]

@Jug Band Baby...glad you're here! i love to spread the gospel of brohaw! everyone needs to read it, especially in these dark and trying times...i think i just found gary's true purpose in the world! haymayun!

 

[larrysmom]

14 hours ago, MayMay1123 said:

I thought the little boy was a doll with no face...i think the reborn dolls have permanently scarred me!

I was like "What little boy?" then I scrolled up and jumped a little when I saw the scribbled out visage of appears to be an actual tiny human. I didn't even notice him the first time because the Reborn dolls were so terrifyingly distracting.

[Coy Koi]

9 hours ago, PumaLover said:

I feel kind of bad for calling Darlene out now. Now that I'm on the desktop she looks elderly… so that's probably why. My own grandma just turned 92 and still doesn't understand how I'm not home when she calls me on my cell phone. <3

Don't feel bad. I looked at her page. She's not just bad at Facebook, she's bad at the English language. This is cute though, everything about it is so old-person.

[Palimpsest]

18 minutes ago, Coy Koi said:

Don't feel bad. I looked at her page. She's not just bad at Facebook, she's bad at the English language. This is cute though, everything about it is so old-person.

I don't think she's as old as all that although she sounds like Taryn. 

And she's not a sweet old lady when you look at her FB.  She's a church planting missionary to the state of Maine and friends with Jody Hodnett.  Such a small Fundie world.

[mango_fandango]

Stand by for the newest (and grossest) baby toy.... BABY BRO GARY HAWKINS!

Featuring all his iconic catchphrases, Baby Bro Gary Hawkins™ is possibly the most ridiculous thing you will ever buy. Comes with a plastic bowl of his favourite dish, weens and gravy (made with red weens and real flour).

May cause both disgust and hilarity at the same time. Cornbread milks and pinto mixings accessories sold separately. Not suitable for children under three and those prone to fainting, dizziness or easy disgust.

 

Spoiler

 

[keepercjr]

@mango_fandango I am dying here,  I am lying in bed with my husband and baby who are both napping and I am trying not to wake them.  This kind of stuff is why the bro Gary threads are the best.

[Jug Band Baby]

In the first thread, @chaoticlife said that " 7 hours per month supervised is abusive in and of itself."  Maybe not.  There are situations where a court terminates parental rights altogether because of what a parent is doing.  Becky seems the type who'd use phone calls to disparage the kids' dad.  It could be that they didn't want to talk to her, but a court is now requiring them to listen to her on the phone for a while, or she decided to tone it down.  Bro did say something about "the truth" that they don't get enough time to hear.  I think that that's a pretty good indication that Bro and Bec were trying to alienate the kids from their dad on the basis of sexuality.  If she's using phone calls to tell the kids their dad is a sodomite on his way to hell, why should he try to facilitate phone calls?  A judge might even be the one who explicitly said no phone calls.  When a parent uses calls to try to alienate the children from a parent, that can happen.

Their dad probably isn't sitting there trying to alienate them, making Bec the problem.  Even if she would shut her trap, there'd be Bro.  When she lives in an RV with a hateful bigot, how can she have the kids for a weekend?  It's not like Bro has somewhere else to go, and I can see a judge being hesitant to order children to go stay any length of time with people who don't stay put anywhere and where they'd be children #'s 5 and 6 in an RV.  I'd worry that they might try to make a run for it and think they're in the right because KING JAMES BIBLE.  And even if they didn't where would they sleep?  She might get some weekends if she had a stable house with beds for the kids, but it's clear that she and her husband refuse to work, making the RV situation their choice.  There's enough going on that we can see that would make a judge worry about unsupervised visitation.  No stable residence by choice, clearly very hateful of gay people.  And if a judge ordered that visitation be supervised, who would be trustworthy enough to do that supervision for a weekend?  Chances are there's a third party doing the supervising, and this is how many hours Becky can afford, or how many hours the county is willing to pay for based on any willingness she's shown the court that she'd provide a stable place for visitation without alienating their dad for being gay.  So little time usually means something extreme or someone told some major lies that a judge believes.  Bro and Bec have shown us enough to show that much time with them isn't going to be a good thing.

[Jug Band Baby]

Praying around a motor home?  I don't know yet if he got it, but the seller must have been freaked out about this crazy guy who is trying in vain to get to take it for half the payment, and then is trying to have a cult-like prayer around it.  If I was the seller, I might call the cops.

I'm both disgusted by this guy, and find him hilarious.  IS CONFUSE!