Joy & Austin 23: Still Sticking Around

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

12 hours ago, VBOY9977 said:

Joy answered some questions in the comments and said she bottle feeds and still breastfeeds. She also said there will be an update about their living situation coming soon. 

Is anybody else wondering if this update about their living situation could be a pregnancy announcement? Gideon is 6 months old now, and having another baby could mean they want more living space.

[singsingsing]

The idea that Joy could be pregnant again already gives me so much anxiety. I'm REALLY hoping that she follows in sister mom Jill's footsteps and delays. Jill definitely seemed all-in at the beginning just like Joy, and she's made a ton of really questionable decisions, but she has delayed pregnancy again after each of her C-Sections.*

Joy and Austin now have the same conundrum and I think they must know it. It's all well and good to say that they're going to leave the number of children they have up to God and that God won't give them more than they can handle, but they have to also know that delaying pregnancy after a C-Section will greatly improve their odds of being able to have multiple future healthy pregnancies. The question is how closely they're determined to cling to quiverfull ideology, which seems to look down on, if not outright forbid, even periodic abstinence for the purpose of child spacing.

*We don't know for sure that Jill and Derick are spacing their children on purpose, of course.

[Bethella]

2 hours ago, cascarones said:

I wonder about this. I'm assuming he's working on other houses at the expense of his own? The house that was going to be done before the wedding, before the baby, etc.

Or do they have to take hard breaks for his family's busy camp season? 

They flipped that house. It sold in mid June. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

I don’t like Austin and Joy is too young to know what she wants.  He talks over her and appears to be a bully .  I don’t think there is too much respect on his end.  He told JBoob the thing he liked most about Joy was her work ethic.  Just another idiot patriarchal fundy fat head. Fucking no nothing know it all.  IMO.  

[justoneoftwo]

I don't know whats wrong with liking someone's work ethic.  Especially in a family that doesn't have much of one its something to admire.  Its also something about her that isn't her love of Jesus, which I appreciate.

On the other hand she is super young, and both are super into the fundie life and I don't have a tun of hope there.  

[BeccaGrim]

Austin comes across, to me, as the most overtly hostile of the Duggar spouses.  (Keep in mind I sad spouses, not Duggars.) Derrick is passive aggressive (IMHO) and cloaks it in I love everyone you're just going to hell if you disagree language. (Sometimes he's aggressive but never with Jill on screen).  Jeremy is over the top lovey dovey. Ben seems perfectly nice to Jessa.  And Anna, Lauren, and Kendra are googly eyed adoring. But Austin seems...aggressive. The way he talks over her, the pissed off looks.  And I haven't said abusive. I'm not opening that can of worms. I'm just saying aggressive.   

[singsingsing]

Interesting, I actually like Austin a lot more now than I did in the beginning. He seems to have a very dry, deadpan sense of humour which I appreciate. I don't get any aggressive or abusive vibes from him. That said, I think he's one of the fundiest of them all and while I like him more than I did before, that's not exactly a high bar to meet.

[Carm_88]

I don't think Austin is aggressive, I do think he is stubborn and set in his ways. Which seems to be an odd thing to say about someone so young. I just don't ever see him changing because he likes the way that things are and that they are good for him. I guess the same could be said about Joe or JD, but they just seem more easy going. Austin just seems like the type to dig in his heels. 

[Daisy0322]

1 hour ago, BeccaGrim said:

Austin comes across, to me, as the most overtly hostile of the Duggar spouses.  (Keep in mind I sad spouses, not Duggars.) Derrick is passive aggressive (IMHO) and cloaks it in I love everyone you're just going to hell if you disagree language. (Sometimes he's aggressive but never with Jill on screen).  Jeremy is over the top lovey dovey. Ben seems perfectly nice to Jessa.  And Anna, Lauren, and Kendra are googly eyed adoring. But Austin seems...aggressive. The way he talks over her, the pissed off looks.  And I haven't said abusive. I'm not opening that can of worms. I'm just saying aggressive.   

I absolutely agree with this sediment. I reminds me of my abusive ex though so that may be why. I do think they have common interests and they go love each other but he seems to want to over power and prove a point a lot.

[justoneoftwo]

1 minute ago, Daisy0322 said:

I absolutely agree with this sediment. I reminds me of my abusive ex though so that may be why. I do think they have common interests and they go love each other but he seems to want to over power and prove a point a lot.

Can you give me some examples?  I'm not doubting you, just curious as I haven't noticed that.

[HarryPotterFan]

4 minutes ago, justoneoftwo said:

Can you give me some examples?  I'm not doubting you, just curious as I haven't noticed that.

I haven’t watched recent episodes but from episode summaries from The Ashley I think he’s just a dick. Like making his 9 month pregnant wife go ice fishing and camping and ignoring her comfort, making his 9 month pregnant wife help with building the crib because he couldn’t be arsed to do it before and doesn’t care about heavy lifting being a no no. I just get the impression he doesn’t give a shit about her health and safety. And I read he didn’t let Joy express concerns over the idea of having baby after baby and she was worried about ability to handle that. Nope, Gd will never give you more than you can handle. 

[BernRul]

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I think they are compatible for the moment. Who knows with time, if that will change. Joy was little more than a child when she wed. She was certainly affected by the Duggars' stunted parenting approach, and along with Jinger, probably did not have the responsibility load and experiences that were required of her older sisters. I imagine that Joy is going to change a great in the coming years. I wonder how that will bode for her marriage. IMO, Joy seems really limited.

That's how I feel. They seem like a good, compatible match now, but Joy is so young and inexperienced. She went from a middle schooler with a crush to married and pregnant. She reminds me of Jill, except I think that even Jill was more mature before she married. It's really hard to say how Joy and Austin will be down the road, especially since as a teen bride she's still maturing. The courtship model didn't do her any favors. 

30 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

And I read he didn’t let Joy express concerns over the idea of having baby after baby and she was worried about ability to handle that. Nope, Gd will never give you more than you can handle. 

I don't know if that's true, but I do get the impression that Austin is very stubborn. I'm a little iffy about him because of that. Joy still has a lot of maturing to do based on her age. I know Austin's also young, but there is a big difference between most 24 year olds' maturity versus most 20 year olds. How would he react if she changes her opinion on something big, or if having baby after baby takes a toll on her mental/physical health? Will they work together to face problems or disagreements, or will they devolve into an unhappy marraige? Courtship has only prepared them for things going well; it does nothing to teach these couples how to handle actual life. Some figure it out, like Jessa and Ben, while others (seemingly) don't, like Josh and Anna or the Dills. I have the feeling Jostin might wind up more like the Dills. Hopefully I'm wrong. 

[singsingsing]

I think this is where watching the episodes can give a different perspective. When you read the descriptions, yeah, it sounds bad. But when I watched the episodes, it never seemed like Austin was forcing her to do any of that stuff. Seemed like she wanted to do it herself. I think he even asked her if she was sure she wanted to do the ice fishing. 

[llg1234]

1 hour ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I haven’t watched recent episodes but from episode summaries from The Ashley I think he’s just a dick. 

I'm not encouraging people to watch CO (even illegally), mostly bc it's boring. BUT, episode summaries can be biased, even if the author is trying to be impartial.  I think Austin is kind of a dick also, but the baby moon and crib building didn't really stand out to me. His comments about moving 2 (?) months after Joy giving birth were pretty shitty, though. 

Judging interactions can be difficult if you're not actually seeing the (staged?) interaction itself.

[singsingsing]

I agree 100% about episode summaries being biased and not a great way to judge what was actually going on. I am eternally grateful for the people (especially on FJ) who take the time to do episode summaries, but it's really hard to form judgements based on what you read if you haven't actually watched it. AND THEN, even if you watch it, you have to take into account that TLC was pushing a certain narrative, asking leading questions, and editing to make it into what they want. 

I'm definitely not saying that nothing can be judged from it - otherwise I wouldn't be here - just that it's good to remember that we're seeing highly edited and filtered snapshots of TLC's version of their lives.

[Cheetah]

It's all well and good to be treated like just one of the guys when you are young and dating, and to have a really casual way of relating to each other and enjoy working together.  I guess I get the vibe that this relationship is going to quickly slide into maybe not abuse but at least mistreatment once another baby or two are in the mix and Joy is expected to take care of all of the 'women's work' as well has her half of the house-flipping work and put up with Austin's 'my way or the highway' and 'fun?  what's fun?  let's do this the hard way, that will be fun!' attitude.

[Sky with diamonds]

1 hour ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I haven’t watched recent episodes but from episode summaries from The Ashley I think he’s just a dick. Like making his 9 month pregnant wife go ice fishing and camping and ignoring her comfort, making his 9 month pregnant wife help with building the crib because he couldn’t be arsed to do it before and doesn’t care about heavy lifting being a no no. I just get the impression he doesn’t give a shit about her health and safety. And I read he didn’t let Joy express concerns over the idea of having baby after baby and she was worried about ability to handle that. Nope, Gd will never give you more than you can handle. 

What you say here, is what gave me pause for thought regarding Austin. 

I think @Carm_88 said it perfectly, he is set in his ways.

A part of me still thinks he isn't used to the cameras etc, and I do think he loves Joy. Two people with stubbornness can be a good thing or not. Time will tell for joy and Austin. 

[Daisy0322]

2 hours ago, justoneoftwo said:

Can you give me some examples?  I'm not doubting you, just curious as I haven't noticed that.

Off the top of my head from the last episode I saw and paid attention to:

-His attitude and facial expressions when they talked about moving 2 months after baby

- joy was clearly scared about ice fishing and he was blowing her off

- he didn't acknowledge her health concerns about her glucose levels he pretty much said Jesus take the wheel

I mean yes it's only a snippet but I assume they'll all on thier best behavior for the cameras so it worries me what he is like when they're alone. You don't have to agree it's just mybysle on it. It could just be his personality... Im use to my husband who is much more warm and fuzzy emotionally.

 

 

[metheglyn]

4 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

I haven’t watched recent episodes but from episode summaries from The Ashley I think he’s just a dick. Like making his 9 month pregnant wife go ice fishing and camping and ignoring her comfort, making his 9 month pregnant wife help with building the crib because he couldn’t be arsed to do it before and doesn’t care about heavy lifting being a no no. I just get the impression he doesn’t give a shit about her health and safety. And I read he didn’t let Joy express concerns over the idea of having baby after baby and she was worried about ability to handle that. Nope, Gd will never give you more than you can handle. 

Yeah, I agree about the issue of the summaries potentially giving particular impressions that may not be *quite* as bad in reality. The crib building, for instance, didn't really require any physical work on Joy's part. She generally seems to like to pitch in, but in this case she spent the majority of the time sitting on the floor against the wall with her legs out reading the directions, while Austin put the thing together. And when they squabbled over which part was which, Joy was right, and she reveled in it. She may have moved a piece or two of the crib around, but Austin definitely did the bulk of any heavy lifting that was involved.

And initially Joy seemed relatively enthusiastic about the idea of fishing on the lake. Once they started she got a little more concerned, but I never got the sense she felt at all pushed into it, at least not by Austin. (Maybe by the film crew?) Besides, when they were "camping" they stayed in a cabin with a full kitchen, a wood/pellet/gas stove for heat, a bedroom, an indoor bathroom, a living room and a loft. It actually looked quite cozy to me. They certainly weren't roughing it, although they were a ways away from their doctors if anything had gone wrong, so I'd perhaps have had concerns on that level were it me.

[beepy13]

I feel like they're well-matched. His personality is dry and he sometimes speaks bluntly, but I also feel like he doesn't care at all about the TV show side of things. Seems like he just wants to live his life and get through the camera interviews as quickly as possible.

[SassyPants]

Such a quandary...hate the notoriety but love the easy money.

[nst]

6 hours ago, BeccaGrim said:

Austin comes across, to me, as the most overtly hostile of the Duggar spouses.  (Keep in mind I sad spouses, not Duggars.) Derrick is passive aggressive (IMHO) and cloaks it in I love everyone you're just going to hell if you disagree language. (Sometimes he's aggressive but never with Jill on screen).  Jeremy is over the top lovey dovey. Ben seems perfectly nice to Jessa.  And Anna, Lauren, and Kendra are googly eyed adoring. But Austin seems...aggressive. The way he talks over her, the pissed off looks.  And I haven't said abusive. I'm not opening that can of worms. I'm just saying aggressive.   

Yes he is openly hostile but at the same time it seems Joy has lost her spunk that she had...and just is with this guy because she had nothing else going on.  Derick cloaked it and Ben hides it and does his own thing with his successful more mature wife.  Jeremy and Jinger have again created an image and that was clear in the restaurant scene...

[Mama Mia]

I’m just not seeing any of this aggression or bossiness others are seeing with Austin. They just seem like a hard working, outdoorsy, pragmatic  young family. Neither of them are fancy people. There is nothing wrong with that. 

Their political and religious views seem extreme - but if you look at any opinion polling from that area- if you took away all the courting nonsense-they are really average. 

 

 

 

 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I don't get the Austin hate either. I just watched the latest show, and all I see is two dumb kids bickering at each other, in an almost playful way. I don't see him being hostile or aggressive. I don't know where it is coming from other than mob mentality.  

[Pecansforeveryone]

I tend to agree that Austin is more stubborn, plain spoken, and doesn't "put on airs" or a "personna" for the cameras. I actually kind of appreciate that as I find Jeremy "playing to the cameras" kind of annoying. I also think they are reasonably well-suited to each other. I just wish Joy could have lived independently while courting Austin and then used natural family planning for a year instead of having a baby right away.