Baby Vuolo Is a Girl

[mango_fandango]

Actors can probably get away with it (eg Jamie Foxx) because it’s a creative industry where you don’t need to be as formal as if you were a lawyer or teacher. 

Steve Bannon is legally Stephen but being known as Steve hasn’t held him back. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

41 minutes ago, TZmom said:

I love hearing about other Teds/Teddys. Mine is under 10 and still goes by Teddy. My dad and I are the only ones who occasionally call him Ted.

The owner of a local dance studio, that my daughter went to, has a daughter named Teddy. she's the youngest of 3 and has 2 older brothers, but she is the one named after her father his name is Ted, and they named her Theodora, but she goes by Teddy she's 21/22 now so I'm not sure if she will always go by that as she gets older, but she at least has the option of going by Theodora or Thea if she doesn't want to be known professionally as Teddy. 

[Illmarryyoujana]

20 hours ago, Georgiana said:

 

Sorry, my friend just named her daughter "Kate", and it bothers me that this little girl will have to be called by a nickname for her entire life, even when it is contextually disrespectful to do so.  She might be president some day, for Rufus' sake!

Like Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton? Or how Bobby Kennedy was almost president? In any case, Kate is a strong, standalone name. President Katie may sound childish, but not Kate. 

[justoneoftwo]

3 minutes ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

Like Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton? Or how Bobby Kennedy was almost president? In any case, Kate is a strong, standalone name. President Katie may sound childish, but not Kate. 

I agree that often the y or i.e. sound is what makes it problematic.  People get past it, but wouldn't Justice Sandy Day O'Connor have sounded weird?

[Georgiana]

I've been busy lately, so I haven't had time to respond, but I've been reading all your responses.  I am happy to say that while I still dislike nicknames as legal names (and yes, I do dislike many of the Bates' names), I am much, much better with Kate now.  In fact, I'm starting to like it.

Which is good, because she's the child of a close friend  

THANK YOU, FJ!

[seraaa]

20 hours ago, Georgiana said:

I HATE when parents give their daughters nicknames as their legal names.  HATE IT.  It's deliberately infantalizing, and it is no mystery as to why this is a trend for FEMALE babies and not for males.  

 

I agree lol. I'd even do it with names that have kind of become accepted as stand-alones, because I'm pedantic (so she'd be Catherine, even if everyone called her Katie otherwise etc)

21 hours ago, Georgiana said:

But on her birth certificate, it says Elizabeth. 

Names like Elizabeth and Margaret and Catherine are great, purely because you can get so many shortened versions from them

[seraaa]

20 hours ago, ItsMeY'all said:

Wait, Molly is a nickname? Hubby and I are both surprised and now guessing what "proper" name it is short for before pulling up Google.

Off the top of my head, is it Margaret?

Nope, I was wrong, it's Mary.

Mary is a name I like, but I can't imagine it on a small person (probably thanks to the association with the Virgin Mary, blessed mother of God. Although my friend is Mairi, which is just the Gaelic version, but that doesn't have the same associations) 

[Glasgowghirl]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Actors can probably get away with it (eg Jamie Foxx) because it’s a creative industry where you don’t need to be as formal as if you were a lawyer or teacher. 

Steve Bannon is legally Stephen but being known as Steve hasn’t held him back. 

I'm training to be a teacher and I doubt my name being Debbie not Deborah is going to stop me getting teaching jobs, I know plenty of people with shortened versions of names with professional jobs. If an employer is that judgemental and then I'd rather not work for them anyway.

[Rachel333]

2 hours ago, Mama Mia said:

In just my own humble opinion - the “problem” isn’t with cutsie sounding names - the problem is people denigrate anything they feel is too feminine ( or “ethnic” - which also fits in this general conversation ) . If the name isn’t perceived as traditionally serious - meaning WASPy Male - or at the very least WASPY Males equally composed female counterpart - the name isn’t up to standard. Personally, I completely understand the desire and need to avoid that negative judgement - but also think it should, ideally, be fought against.

I definitely see your point, but I think we've also got to look deeper at why "childish" sounding names are associated with femininity. Using nicknames ending in "ee" are a form of endearment for both boys and girls in early childhood, but once someone is an adult those nicknames much less common for men than for women, and parents are much more likely to give those names to girls as their full name than they are to boys. I think it's not just that people have a negative association with feminine names but that those types of names are associated with femininity because being female is associated with childishness.

[front hugs > duggs]

One of the OP's mentioned what I think is this name: Matthew. My cousin's name is Matthew. Not Matt. Was never Matty. He is 16 years old and is very much Matthew. 

[Jinder Roles]

I have a boring traditional Anglo first and last name (it's actually been mentioned here a few times as a 'great' professional name or a good 'proper' name). I personally think that the "president test" for names, or the dislike of unique names is outdated at best (it's honestly kind of classist).

I grew up in a society where a lot of people have names that are not conventional. I remember some of these people got teased for having "ghetto" names. Hell, at one point I even thought along the same lines until I realized I was being pretentious and discounting other preferences/cultures because they weren't "proper (read white/upper-class). A lot of those people are either already successful or on their way to being successful so it's not really a hinderance.

It actually wasn't until I got to the U.S. for college that I realized a lot of names I considered standard, (like  my friends thought were "out there" (e.g: Tanisha, Deja, Shelly-Anne, Trishanne, Oshane, Asha, Malik, Amoy) and some names they thought were normal/cute, I was like "wtf, why would you name a kid that?")

If I ever have a child (please Jesus let it be a girl), I'd name them someone a little more uncommon. 

[SamiKatz]

Maybe this is because I grew up with a "nickname", but I would never not take someone seriously because they have a "cutesy" name (and my name also ends in ee).

Would Dolly Parton be even more successful and respected if she had a more "acceptable" and "serious" name?

 

[Illmarryyoujana]

1 hour ago, justoneoftwo said:

I agree that often the y or i.e. sound is what makes it problematic.  People get past it, but wouldn't Justice Sandy Day O'Connor have sounded weird?

I do think this seems to be an issue more for women than men. Men can have public jobs with Y ending names.  That’s a problem within our society though. 

[hope kelly]

I was hoping it would be a boy.

[SapphireSlytherin]

Johnny Carson
Tommy Lee
Jimi Hendrix
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Johnny Cash
Davy Crockett
Jackie Gleason
Teddy Roosevelt
Tony Blair
Bernie Sanders
Rudy Giuliani

Women:
Winnie Mandela
Tammy Duckworth
Patti Stanger
Candy Crowley
Cindy Crawford
Katie Kouric
Sally Ride

[seraaa]

1 minute ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Johnny Carson
Tommy Lee
Jimi Hendrix
Stevie Ray Vaughn
Johnny Cash
Davy Crockett
Jackie Gleason
Teddy Roosevelt
Tony Blair
Bernie Sanders
Rudy Giuliani

Point taken

[SassyPants]

3 hours ago, TZmom said:

I love hearing about other Teds/Teddys. Mine is under 10 and still goes by Teddy. My dad and I are the only ones who occasionally call him Ted.

My son is not named Ted (or any version). I was just using her example. We named our son Daniel. I call him Daniel and always have (he is 27). When he was little he used Danny quite a bit. Now he is Dan. Everyone but me calls him Dan. Must accept and move on. LOL

[SamiKatz]

Given the current situation, I think we should all be a little less concerned with whether the president has a childish sounding name, or acts childish.

Lol.

[ItsMeY'all]

About ten years ago my  six month pregnant best friend and I were this same discussion. She was expressing the concern that certain female names just wouldn't be taken seriously. She rambled off a list including many of the names ending in "y" and "ie" people have listed above. Included in her list of "not taken seriously female names" was "Shelby" which happened to be my favorite boy name. She thought for a minute and decided that it worked as a "serious" male name but not a serious female name. Huh!?! 

 

[NakedKnees]

5 minutes ago, ItsMeY'all said:

About ten years ago my  six month pregnant best friend and I were this same discussion. She was expressing the concern that certain female names just wouldn't be taken seriously. She rambled off a list including many of the names ending in "y" and "ie" people have listed above. Included in her list of "not taken seriously female names" was "Shelby" which happened to be my favorite boy name. She thought for a minute and decided that it worked as a "serious" male name but not a serious female name. Huh!?! 

 

THAT'S an excellent example of the sexism that goes into "-ie/-y" names for girls versus for boys. I have my own ingrained version of that: Ashley. Love it for a boy, not a big fan for a girl. But this conversation is making me see the ingrained sexism in it and I'll try to be more conscious of it.

I posted earlier about liking how my name has many nicknames (it's a WASPy "-ie/y" name), but something occured to me. I like the sound of my name, but it was among the most popular of my birth year and for many years after. I don't think I ever had a class where I was the only NakedKnees, and I HATED that growing up. For that reason, I want to aim somewhat unique for my hypothetical kids' names. I realize that you can't always predict what name will explode in popularity, so, I like the option of practical nicknames in case my nonexistent kids turn out like me.

Regarding ethnic names- I'm half/half white/latina. My brother got a hispanic name, I got an anglo name. I'm glad I have two last names, but I love every piece of the culture that I wasn't raised primarily in, and would have loved a name that reflected that culture more. If I have children with Mr. Knees they'll be three-quarters white, but they'll also have a half-brother who's ethnically the same as me, and I'd love to go with a Spanish name. Every little piece of connection with roots mattered when I lived in the US. I think making name choices with ethnicity in mind can be a nice way to weave families together.

[sadiZ]

4 hours ago, PainfullyAware said:

Well it is something to wake up and find your name is someone's pet peeve! I have a traditional, non trendy nickname for a longer, Anna Karenina type name that's an acknowledgement to my Eastern European background. I definitely don't mind nicknames that are stand-alone names on their own. For example I find it a little strange if someone names their kid something like Chicago like Kanye and Kim Kardashian, but specifies that the kid will go by Chi.  it seems like a lot of extra steps to pick an original name and an original nickname. Like why not just name the kid by the nickname? My one strong opinion, after spending a lifetime correcting people, is do not make your kid go by a nickname for their middle name! It's very strange to always have to say something like - actually my name isn't Karen,  it's Anna! (using the Anna Karenina example)

You'd really dislike my son's name, then. His full name is something like Daniel Frederick James, but we call him Freddie and Fred. I would have preferred his first name be Frederick, but my husband had a pact with his best friend, Daniel, to name their first sons after one another. Daniel had already held up his end five years before we had ours, so he was very adamant we had to use Daniel as the first name. I was very adamant I did not like the name Daniel and had always wanted to name my first son Frederick, called Freddie. His formal name is our compromise (and we use two middles, because I am name obsessed and we wanted to honor his grandfather who passed away a few years before). 

I an enormous fan of a formal name, even if you plan to use a nickname exclusively. It is more versatile. Because you're naming a future adult, not just a baby. Someday Jenny might not want such a cutesy name on her resume, but if her full name is Jennifer, she can use that (an actual example from my life - I have a colleague who's given name is Jenny and she HATES it). But if she loved Jenny, she could still use that, too. I loved "Frederick" because I can call my son Freddie or Fred but if he grows up an hates it he has easy alternatives. Sure, he might hate the name completely and 100% change it, but at least I've tried to give him options instead of just naming him Freddie. 

But I also agree with others who've commented - you do you. Your kid, your family, your life. So do what you like and what works for you and I'll do what works for me. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

What I think I'm seeing here is simply a lot of personal bias against certain names, which makes some people uncomfortable.

I have no such bias against anyone's name... After all, unless on the extremely rare off-chance someone chose a name for him/herself, they had zero control over the name that was pinned on them at birth.

The outright hate being verbalized (writtenized?) here is a bit disturbing. Judging someone for their name is mindboggling. Judging someone for the name they chose for their child is just mean and petty.

[Alisamer]

I think some of the point is being missed. Sure, many of the people listed above go by nicknames like Bill, Bernie, Bobby, whatever. But very few of those are their GIVEN names. I think personally there's a big difference between naming a kid "Billy" as their legal name and naming a kid "William" and calling him Bill or Billy. I'm a big fan of having options, and Billy has far fewer options than William, name-wise. And that goes for boys and girls - Fiona can be FiFi if she wants, James can be Jimmy if he wants. But they have the choice to put either on their business card, or be FiFi with friends and Fiona at work, etc. I feel that way about spellings, too - Brittany or Britney just looks way more professional to me than Brytynneigh. I'm not a big fan of cutesy nicknames as formal names (Bill, Luke, Kate and Steve are perfectly fine names in themselves... Billy, Robbie, Lala and Jamie, however are a bit on the cutesy side for me), nor am I a fan of kry8tiveleigh spelled names.

I mean, all other things being completely equal, I think someone looking online for a lawyer or doctor is more likely to choose Corinne than Coco, or Marian than Mimi, or Joseph over Jojo, Michaela over McKaiyluh or Caleb over Kaylub. Or Ginger over Jinger. (That's not how letters work, Michelle and JimBob!) Even if once they meet the person Dr. Marian says "Oh, please call me Mimi."

But really, it's not my (or anyone else's) business what people choose to name their kids. Luckily names can be changed later if the kid hates theirs.

[Satan'sFortress]

1 hour ago, SamiKatz said:

Given the current situation, I think we should all be a little less concerned with whether the president has a childish sounding name, or acts childish.

Lol.

Crap--maybe if they'd just named him Donny none of this would be happening!!

[Million Children For Jesus]

I think some of this thread is being misconstrued, or maybe I’m not reading it correctly because I’m sleep deprived and multi-tasking. When did anyone say you can’t or shouldn’t use a nickname in business? I think that’s a pretty standard practice, especially with men. Bob, Rob, Nick, Steve, Dan, Tom, Mike, etc. There’s a ton of them. I know fewer women who use nicknames in business, maybe a few Christy’s, Beth’s, and Liz’s, only because most of the women I’ve worked with didn’t have names conducive to nicknames, Amy, Megan, Rachel, Heather, Erin, Kelly, to name a few.

I use my given name instead of my nickname in business. I have that choice because my parents didn’t put my nickname on my birth certificate. I’ve enjoyed this option, and as a result, I see it has value, I have a preference for this approach, with Baby Naming, NOT with HIRING. Those are two totally different activities. I would hire Tommy, Katie, Chuy, Moe, or Dorito McCoolhand if he showed up on time and got the job done. Do you know hard hiring is?!?! 

I think it’s preferable to put Jesus or Mohammed on the birth certificate, even if you only plan to call the kids Chuy and Moe, just so they have the option to use one or the other later in life. 

I don’t know why I post when I’m this tired. My ability to articulate my thoughts goes way down. Sorry.